Four

Sofia

“O h. My. God! I can’t believe you’re going on a date!”

I don’t know whether to be offended or amused by my daughter’s reaction.

“You might sound a little less surprised. I’m only thirty-nine, it’s hardly time to pension me off just yet.”

“That’s not what I meant.” Ana throws herself down on the bed and crosses her legs up underneath herself, watching me as I run a brush through my hair. “It’s just that, you’ve not been out for a long time, that’s all. With a man, I mean.”

“Because I haven’t wanted to.”

“So, what’s this one got that’s made you suddenly change your mind?”

“I don’t know.” I turn around and lean back against the dressing-table. “He just seems,” I shrug, “different.”

“How?”

“You do know that interrogating is my job, right?”

“Oh, yeah, I get that. Just thought you should know what it feels like to experience it from the other side.” She throws me a grin, jumps up off the bed and heads downstairs. I smile and turn back to face my reflection in the mirror. I look okay, I’ve faired pretty well, considering the shit Ana’s father put us through: left us with. Debts; people chasing us for money we didn’t have, for reasons I didn’t want to know. He just disappeared, left without a trace, we never heard from him again. It’s been seventeen years and I have no idea whether he’s alive or dead. I don’t care. He can rot in hell, he almost ruined me. Paying off what he owed has left me still struggling to get Ana and I back on our feet, but she knows nothing of the crap her father left us in. She knows very little, she can barely remember he even existed. And there was no reason for me to involve her in the problems I had to deal with, because of him. I want her life to be a good one, not one marred by her father’s inability to be a decent human being. I didn’t want her to think she had to help me deal with any of it, I don’t want that for her. So, she doesn’t know how much I’m struggling. How close I am to losing everything.

I shake those dark thoughts from my mind and run my fingers through my hair, breathing in deep, and I think about something else. Some one else.

Skip Larsen.

I’m having dinner with him tonight, just two days after meeting him. And while I would normally take a lot more time to think about this, for some reason I’m just going with the flow, this time. I’m not over thinking anything, not self-sabotaging or putting invisible obstacles in the way, as I have done in the past. I’m doing something for myself, because I think I need this. It’s possible I might need him .

Skip Larsen.

A man I’m strangely fascinated with. A man I barely know…

Skip

I want to sleep with this woman, so bad. So fucking bad. I’m no saint, I want to invade her beautiful body, make her scream out my name as she comes in my arms, I want all of that. I want all of her . And I think she wants me, too. I can see it in her eyes, the way she smiles, the way her hand brushed against mine just now as she reached for her drink. And I’m no gentleman, either. I want her in the worst way, the need to see her naked underneath me is all consuming, but I’m not rushing this. She’s one I’m not willing to scare off. When I live this side of my life I have to play the gentleman. The kind of man women like this want, not the tough-talking, tattooed biker they’d more than likely cross the street to avoid.

“Do you have any children, Sofia?”

She frowns. Have I asked too personal a question here? We’re supposed to be getting to know one another, so I would’ve thought that was a perfectly reasonable question to ask.

“I have a daughter. Ana. She’s twenty-two.”

“You don’t look old enough to have a twenty-two year old daughter.”

She drops her gaze and laughs quietly. Yeah, I’m throwing her a line, but it’s true. She doesn’t look old enough, so I’m guessing she was a young mother.

“I’d only just turned seventeen, when I had her.”

I smile, and I look at her, and all I can see is a woman who’s making me feel things I never wanted to feel. Dinner dates and talking, man, that was never on the agenda. Until now.

“Were you married?”

She holds my gaze, staying silent for a beat or two. “Ana’s father walked out on us when Ana was five. We don’t know why. We don’t know what made him leave us like that, and we don’t know where he went. Neither Ana nor I have heard from him in seventeen years. I’d like it to stay that way.”

Her voice changed, when she spoke about her estranged husband. It became colder, had an edge to it that tells me this woman is tough. She’s been through shit and she’s fighting it.

“He left us with debts I’ve struggled for years to pay off, to people who…”

She suddenly stops. Drops her head again. She can’t look at me, but I want her to look at me.

“Bringing Ana up alone, after he left, it was hard. I was still so young, but I did my best to shield her from all the bad things and only make sure she saw good.” She raises her gaze, her eyes locking on mine. “I love my daughter.”

“I can see that.”

She drops her gaze again, an air of sadness surrounding her that doesn’t sit right with me. I’ve known this woman for a ridiculously short space of time and yet all I want to do is protect her from all the crap she’s been through. I want to help her. I’m not a total bastard, there’s a nice guy in there somewhere.

“I’m sorry, Skip, you didn’t need to know any of that.”

“Come work for me.”

She looks up, frowning deeply as she stares at me. “I’m sorry…?”

It’s my turn to drop my gaze; take a deep breath. I’m about to break every fucking rule I ever made for myself but, God help me, this one’s under my skin. Enough for me to do this? To tell her the truth…?

“Work for you? I don’t… I don’t understand.”

“Listen, Sofia, I’m – I’m not the man you think I am.”

Her frown deepens even further, and her expression now carries a wariness that sees her sit back; distance herself from me a little, and I don’t want that. I want her to trust me, I’m not a bad man. Until I need to be.

“What do you mean?”

Her voice is barely a whisper, and I don’t want to scare her. That’s the last thing I want to do.

“My name is Skip Larsen, and I am a businessman, just, not in the conventional sense. I run a biker club. I’m President, of that biker club. The Viking Bandits.”

I watch her expression change again, there’s a hint of fear in her eyes now and that kills me. I don’t want her to be frightened, I want her to feel safe. She will be safe, with me. I’ll make sure of that.

“So, why lie about that? Why try to be something – some one you’re obviously not?”

“Because sometimes I like to escape the shit, y’know? Try living a little piece of normality.” I reach for her hand but she pulls it away, and it’s like someone kicked me hard in the gut. It fucking hurts. “You can trust me, Sofia, I promise you that. You come work for me, and I will make sure you and your daughter are looked after. The club needs an accountant, those businesses we run, they need handling. Properly. And the money you’ll earn – I guarantee, you won’t have to worry anymore. About anything.”

Big promises, but I mean every word, I’m not lying to her now, not this time. But she isn’t buying into this, not yet. She turns her head away, looks around the restaurant, she’s wary as hell, and who can blame her? Her eyes are darting this way and that, is she looking for a way out? An escape route?

“Sofia…? Look at me, please.”

She slowly turns her head back to face me. “I can’t work for you. I can’t be a part of something like that.”

“Like what? You don’t know who we are, how we work. Right now, you have no clue what you’d be a part of.”

“I have an idea.”

“No, Sofia, you don’t. We help those we care about, that’s what we do.”

“How can you care about me? You don’t even know me.”

“I know enough. I know I want to help you.”

She shakes her head. “I don’t need your help. I should go.”

“Sofia…”

“No!” She stands up and leans across the table, her eyes burning into mine. “You don’t follow me. You don’t look for me, you don’t come anywhere near me.”

I watch her walk away.

She thinks this is over?

She needs to think again…

Sofia

“You’re home early.” Ana stands in the kitchen doorway, arms crossed, eyes narrowed.

“Yeah, well, the evening took an unexpected turn. Do we have any wine?”

“There’s a bottle in the fridge. What happened?”

“Nothing happened.” But I’d wanted it to. Before I found out he was part of a biker gang, and even though I know very little about that world, I know it isn’t a good one. A safe one. It’s a dangerous world. Men like him, they’re dangerous.

“Something must’ve happened or you wouldn’t be home this early, downing wine like it’s water–”

“Jesus, Ana, just leave it, please!”

“Okay. Okay, I’m sorry.”

She holds up her hands and backs away and I lean against the counter and bow my head; rub the bridge of my nose with my thumb and forefinger, sighing heavily. “No, baby, I’m the one who should be sorry. Skip – the man I was having dinner with, he just wasn’t the man I thought he was, that’s all.”

She frowns, but she doesn’t push it, doesn’t ask any more questions, she just comes over to me, gives me a hug, and I smile as I kiss her forehead.

“You deserve someone special, Mama.”

I give her another smile, taking her hand and squeezing it gently. “I’m okay as I am. I’ve got my beautiful girl, haven’t I? I don’t need a man.”

She raises an eyebrow, and I laugh. She makes me so happy, my Ana. And I don’t need a man, I’ve never needed a man. It just might have been nice to have some company, that’s all. Every now and again.

“I’m gonna go grab a shower. Oh, and there’s some post on the table,” Ana shouts over her shoulder as she leaves the kitchen and bounds upstairs.

I take another sip of wine before I pick up the pile of envelopes and sift through them. Bills. Demands. A letter from my business advisor calling for an urgent meeting. I put them down on the table and throw back my head. I stare at the ceiling and I think about Skip. About the offer he made me. This man, who is he, really? Is he dangerous? He plays games, I know that much, and I don’t know if I can trust someone who does that. He promised me safety, an end to my financial problems, but those are promises that seem too good to be true. And trusting a man again… I don’t know. I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready for that.

I glance back down at the post scattered across the table. Sometimes I feel like I’m drowning, like I’m never going to be able to pull us out of the shit we’ve been slowly sinking into for years.

I feel like I’m drowning.

Skip said he could save me.

He could save me…

Skip

“Get Ulrich in here, now.”

“It’s gone midnight, Skip.”

“Just do as I fucking say, Joel.”

I go behind the bar, ripping the top off a beer before downing half the bottle in one go. I’m pissed, because of a fucking woman? Because a woman rejected me, walked out on me when all I wanted to do was help her? Yeah, I wanted to fuck her, too, I’m just as pissed I lost that chance, believe me, but what’s freaking me out more is that I genuinely just wanted to help her. A beautiful stranger got under my skin way too quick, and I liked it. And I still want her. Still want to help her, so not looking for her? Fuck that! I’m looking for her. And I’ll find her, tomorrow, before she’s even had the chance to wipe the sleep from her eyes.

“Why do you want our accountant here at fucking midnight, anyway?” Joel asks.

“I’m sacking him.”

Joel looks at me through narrowed eyes, a cigarette hanging from the corner of his mouth, he has no clue what’s going on here. And all he’ll ever know is what he needs to. Any ulterior motive I might have for helping Sofia, that’s my business. As far as this club is concerned we’re getting a new accountant. End of fucking story.

“Sacking him?”

I stare at my V.P. “You still here?”

He shrugs, turns to go, and I lean back against the wall, close my eyes and breathe in deep. Am I going crazy here? Am I going fucking soft? What the hell am I doing?

“Okay. Ulrich’s on his way, but he’s not happy.”

Joel’s return stops me from answering those questions, and I pull myself away from the wall, dragging a hand back through my hair. “I don’t give a shit. He’s done here.”

“Why? I thought we could trust him, he’s never fucked us over before. Has something happened? I mean, finding another accountant quickly, one who’ll do what Ulrich does for us…”

“I’ve already found one.”

Joel frowns, his expression telling me he wants me to expand on that. Like I said, he’ll know what he needs to. He doesn’t get to question my decision.

Ulrich’s out.

Sofia’s in.

She needs me.

That woman, she fucking needs me…