Thirty

Joel

“S he isn’t here, Joel.” Freja ushers me inside, and I close the door behind me before following her into the kitchen.

“When was the last time you heard from her?”

“She called me this morning, told me she was going to visit her mama’s grave.”

“She hasn’t been in touch since?”

“No. Joel, I’m sure everything’s fine. She’s probably just taking some time out, heaven knows she could do with it.”

I don’t know. I’ve got an uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach, and it’s growing by the second. Something doesn’t feel right. Has she been playing us all along? Making us – making me believe she was settling down, trying to make a new life here, when what she was really doing was lulling us all into a false sense of security so she could run? And what would it matter if she had ran? She deserves her freedom. She deserves better than this. Better than me.

“You need to trust her,” Freja says, and I look at her, and shake my head.

“It’s not about trust. I’ve got a bad feeling, something doesn’t feel right.”

Freja narrows her eyes, wiping her hands on a towel that’s flung over her shoulder. “Is there something going on, Joel? Something that puts that young woman in danger?”

“I don’t know.”

Freja sighs and leans back against the counter, crossing her arms. “If she’s gone, of her own accord, then there really isn’t anything you can do. Not anymore. You need to let her go.”

I shake my head again, because I’m not prepared to do that. I’m not letting her go, because I don’t think she wants me to. I don’t think she’s ran, I think it’s something else. I looked into her eyes when she told me she wanted to be with me, and I believed her. I believed her.

“She hasn’t ran.”

“You need to tell me if she’s in danger, Joel.”

“It’s club business. You know the way it works.”

“I know it’s a fucking mess a lot of the time. Remember, I’ve been here a lot longer than most. I’ve lived this life for all of mine, so don’t treat me like someone who’s just walked into this world. I’ve looked after a lot of women who’ve crossed this club’s path, and not all of them came out the other side safely. You know that. Are you willing to risk Ana being one of them?”

“I can’t tell you shit, Freja, because we don’t know exactly what’s going on ourselves.”

“Then tell me what you do know. That girl is like a daughter to me, she’s different to the rest, and you more than anyone should be putting her safety first.”

She’s right. What the fuck am I doing…?

“Things have been going on: deals have been fucked with. Money’s been lost, one of our off shore accounts has been hacked, and we think the Blackhawks are behind it, but we don’t think they’re working alone. We think they might be working with someone else. Someone who has an axe to grind with the club. And it’s complicated, because we need to hit the Hawks, we need retribution for what they did to Sofia. But there could be someone else who’s also looking for their own retribution. Someone who wants Ana.”

“Who?”

I take a breath, because I shouldn’t be telling her this, but I’m trying to put Ana first. I’m trying. “Emil Renard. His name came up, when Rik did some digging.” I drag a hand through my hair and drop my gaze: take a breath. “We… I think he could be Ana’s father.”

“You think ?”

I tell Freja what I know. What we all know. I tell her how I’m slowly trying to put the pieces together. “I don’t know if I’m right, I could be overthinking everything, I could be way off here, but I don’t think I am. I don’t think I am, and if I’m right, then we don’t know what could happen. We don’t know what this man’s end game is, but it has to include Ana. Why else would he be here?”

“It makes sense,” Freja says as she leans back against the counter and takes her phone out of her pocket. “I’ll try calling her again.”

“Don’t tell anyone what I’ve told you, Freja, especially Skip.”

She just looks at me, her priority is Ana. She should be mine, too.

“She’s still not picking up.” Freja lays her phone down on the counter. “You need to act, Joel. Whatever gut feeling you have, you need to act. Now.”

I head back outside, and within seconds I’m on my way to the cemetery, even though I know she won’t be there. But there might be clues, something that tells me what might have happened. Anything, just a sign.

Reaching the spot where Sofia is buried, I leave the bike and head toward her grave, and that’s when I see them, the bunch of daisies lying on the ground. They’re not on Sofia’s grave, they’re a little way away from it, like they’ve been dropped. Ana told me she was going to take some daisies. She told me they were Sofia’s favorite flower, and I feel my stomach lurch. Something happened here, and it isn’t good. Ana’s gone, but this time I’m fucking certain it wasn’t her choice.