Chapter 24

PALOMA

As we walk through Pen’Kesh, Atox rests his hand against my lower back, a gesture I treasure now that I’m starting to understand him. Running into my father was a blessing as it led to Atox telling me his plans. I never thought he’d share anything confidential with me. Even if he never seeks my advice, he trusts me and cares enough to include me in what is happening.

“I’m worried, Atox.”

“You worry a lot, female.”

“Not about me. About the women you plan to…” I don’t want to say buy, even though that is the correct term. “Take from my former colony.”

“Former?” The ridges on his forehead lift. “Does that mean you have decided to be mine?”

“I thought I already decided that.”

“My father was a terrible male and a worse grak, but there was one truth he told me and my brother. Females often change their minds.”

I laugh. “I guess some things are universal, literally. My people say the same thing. The truth is, women don’t change their mind any more than men. But we have no issues admitting it.”

He grunts, a response I associate with him not wishing to agree even though he does.

“Any human women New Earth gives you may not want to be with your people, just like I didn’t. I wasn’t asked if I wanted to go. I was ripped away from my home, my sisters, my people. They betrayed me, Atox.” I place my hand on his chest.

“I will never betray you.”

That warms me, more than he’ll ever know. “I believe you, Atox. I just wish I could make you understand what I went through. No one prepared me for what would happen once you took me away. I was scared. Terrified. I felt as if my life was over. Now that I’ve had time to get to know you and your people a little, I’m no longer scared, but I’m still an outsider.”

“That will change with time. You will adjust.”

“Maybe. Hopefully. But even if I do, nothing will change the terror and sense of betrayal of those first days and weeks. Trying to fit in is difficult, especially since no one can understand me when I speak. Only the warriors, and I’m not about to bother them with my questions. That first day, I couldn’t even find my way out of the tunnels to go to the woods and relieve myself. I almost ended up going in a dark section of the tunnels. And they are dark, Atox. For humans at least.”

“I will have more light added for you and the others.”

“Thank you, but my point is that everything I went through was terrifying.”

“Which is why you will be the one to help the other females when they arrive. They will trust you.”

“Because I’m human?” I can see where he’s going with this, and I have to admit, the idea is a good one, but it would be like the blind leading the blind. And it doesn’t change how being sold makes a person feel.

Worthless. Hopeless. Betrayed.

“You are strong, my female. You will find a way to help the others accept their new life, as you have.”

I’m still not sure I’ve totally accepted my future with the orcs, but I’m not ready to walk away from Atox. There’s sincerity, goodness, and loyalty in him, even if we don’t see eye to eye on the issue of buying women.

“If you must do this, Atox, I will answer their questions and help them acclimate the best I can, but I can’t make them want to stay. They could cause a lot of trouble.”

“Like you?”

“You haven’t seen the trouble I can cause.”

His ridges scrunch together. “Why not?”

It’s a good question. I planned on doing everything I could to make the orcs hate me enough to return me to my people. I shrug. “I realized I had nowhere to go.”

“Good. Because I would have tracked you down and brought you back with me. You are mine,” he adds with a growl that goes to my lower half.

“Say that again,” I demand, loving how that growl renews my soul.

He holds my head in his hands. “You, female, are mine. And no one will ever take you from me. This, I vow.”

With that, he plunders my mouth. I sink into the kiss and the security it gives me. He means what he says. I’m his, no matter what. My father could offer him a hundred females in place of me, and Atox wouldn’t give me up. He would put me before his people in this situation, I’m sure of it.

“What about the other women? I’m serious when I said they can cause a lot of trouble if you take them against their will.

“Controlling them will be for their mates. As for you, my female, I am learning a lot about humans from you. And you are right. You were not prepared to live among us. A mistake I plan to correct.” Atox throws open the fabric to a tent in the bantaran section of Pen’Kesh.

I’m flabbergasted at how he’s changed, at how he’s listening to me.

He lifts his chin, redirecting my attention inside the tent. Two bantarans, a male and female, scaled beings with bulging eyes and lithe bodies bow in greeting.

Shelves full of advanced technology fill the shelves lining the back of the tent. These devices are sleek, no apparent wires or power sources, and I’m guessing very expensive. The bantarans are particular about who uses their tech. Atox was spot-on when he said they have a technological advantage on Kovos.

The bantarans speak to Atox,their tongues clicking in a language that is so alien. At least Orcan uses similar sounds to English. I’ve already learned a few words thanks to Atox and Evve.

“Sit, Paloma.” Atox points to the chair in the center of the tent. A chair with straps for arms, legs, torso, and head.

The hairs on my arms stand up. The day my father sold me, he shattered my ability to trust. I no longer take a person’s word or follow instructions as easily as I used to. Except for Atox. He hasn’t broken his promise to me. Yet. I pray he doesn’t, because I really need to believe in someone.

When I look at that chair, I want to back away, but one look at Atox, his stance and the way he’s constantly surveying the area, assures me that he won’t let anything bad happen to me.

“You won’t leave me here.” My words come out more question than statement as I sit in the chair and the bantarans fasten me in. Whatever’s happening, I need to know that much.

“I will not leave you unprotected. I’ll be here when you wake.”

“What are they going to do to me, Atox?”

“Give you a language implant. The procedure holds less risk if you are asleep.”

An implant? None of the women in New Earth have an implant. They’re too costly. I lean back and lie perfectly still as the female bantaran spreads a liquid beneath my nose. My eyes close way too fast, but I remember reaching out for Atox’s hand… and him taking it.

I waketo the rocking motion of a gorja beneath me. My eyes feel too heavy to open, but the familiar scent of trees and male musk fill my lungs about the same time I register the hard muscles supporting my back.

Atox.

“Are you awake, female?” His deep voice stirs my senses more.

“Sleepy,” I mumble, not ready to wake.

“Then sleep.” His hand rests on my thigh while his thumb draws tiny circles that are quickly lulling me back to sleep. Except I don’t want to sleep. I have questions and this time atop the gorja is almost as private as our chamber in the mountain.

“Are we going home?” I’ve never referred to the orc settlement as home. I guess it’s starting to sink in that this will be my life. Mated to an orc, living in a mountain, and… Well, the rest has yet to reveal itself. I still know so little about Atox’s people and how I’ll fit in. Helping other human women accept a new future doesn’t mean the orcs will accept any of us.

After several minutes of the cool air striking my face, I can open my eyes without struggling. The scenery indicates we’re at least half way to the orc settlement. That means a few more hours on the gorja.

“Where is Zendar?” I don’t see the warrior nearby.

“He’s heading to the human colony to check in with our warriors stationed there. I wish to know about the vints’ activity along the border.” Atox falls silent for a moment, then adds, “And what the humans are doing.”

“You’re spying on them?”

“Yes.”

“That’s… smart.” Perhaps I should feel upset on behalf of my former colony, but I don’t. Given the relations between our peoples, the other species, and the knowledge that the cendagi are not merely beings who had helped the Coalition take over Earth, seeking information is smart. Atox doesn’t trust my people. I guess we’re alike in that respect.

I may never solve the puzzle of why the cendagi brought five species to Kovos, but I’m getting to know Atox more. He’s proven to be honorable, more so than anyone I’ve known. And he trusts me with the truth about what his warriors are doing on the human-vint border. Perhaps the most incredible fact of the past two weeks, Atox paid for me to have a language chip, something even the orc females don’t have.

The spot behind my right ear throbs slightly. When I reach behind to touch, Atox eases my hand away.

“Don’t touch. The implant requires twelve hours for it to take root. It’s only been seven.”

“I’ve been out for seven hours?”

“The bantaran used too much of the drug to make you sleep. He did not account for your smaller size compared to human males.”

Smaller size. I chuckle at that. Every woman loves being called smaller, especially a curvy girl like me. Atox doesn’t seem to notice the extra weight I carry on my hips, boobs, and ass. Or maybe he does and enjoys them. He accepts me for me, and that is a wonderful feeling.

“How long before the chip starts working?” I’ve heard a language chip grows inside the person and integrates with the language center of the brain, speeding up the person’s ability to learn to speak and understand another language. It isn’t a translator, but an enhancer that essentially super-charges a person’s own language abilities. Some people acclimate faster than others, but in time the language chip enables true communication between different species.

I’m still stunned that he paid for me to have the chip.

“It is already working,” Atox answers. “I’ve been speaking to you in Orcan since you woke.”

“I can understand you!”

“And you will be able to speak Orcan to the rest of our people as well.”

“Our people.” I swallow hard, realizing he means it. He really considers me part of his people now. “Thank you, Atox. For buying the chip.”

“You nearly died because you could not understand Evve’s warning. That is unacceptable. I am grak, but I too have much to learn.”

Wow, a chip and an admission that he can make mistakes.

“I think you’re a fast learner.” I move his hand higher on my thigh… and he promptly removes it from my leg entirely.

His reaction stuns me. Atox has taken every opportunity to touch me, but now he’s pulling away. “Did I do something wrong?”

His body stiffens behind me. Even the gorja senses something is wrong as its gait changes. Less relaxed and more on guard, though I’m hardly an expert on gorjas. Or orcs.

We ride in silence for a while which I find ironic. I finally have a language chip and no one with whom to talk, reminding me of those weeks after my mom died. I didn’t speak or interact with anyone beyond going through the motions of doing my chores. Talking had been hard. As had listening to people offer their condolences. I’d shut down until I realized my sisters needed me. I wonder how they’re doing.

All the worry returns. Will my father sell them next? Do I want this life for them? I turn and look at my orc, whose face remains stoic. There’s more to Atox than the hard, powerful fighter he shows the universe. He’s the epitome of power, as a ruler should be, but he’s also kind and giving in ways I never expected or appreciated before today.

Yes, I can envision my sisters living here. And if my father sells them to the orcs, we’ll be together again. I’ll help them or any woman who comes to live with us.

I lean back against Atox fully now, with all my weight, something I’ve hesitated doing with human men because of their callous comments about my size. With Atox I can be myself.

When his arm crosses my chest, I grab hold and lock him to me. I want him to know he’s wanted, even if I can’t yet find the words.

“You said I’m a fast learner, Paloma,” he says unexpectedly. “I am not. I have the scars to prove it.”

My heart sinks as I remember the scars on his back. They are seven or eight inches long and perfectly parallel to one another, like the smaller cuts he’d made on Sojek’s cheek. Like the ones on his own cheek. Someone intentionally cut Atox. Tortured him.

“I don’t know who hurt you or why, Atox, but I promise you, it isn’t because of anything you did. You are a fast learner, and even if you weren’t, it doesn’t justify cutting you. Nothing does.”

“My grak punished me when I failed him, when I failed to learn a lesson, or when…”

“Or when he felt like it,” I finish for him.

Several long seconds pass and then he says, “Failure was punished.”

And here I used to think Atox was a monster. I judged him out of ignorance. The true monster was his father.

“Is that why you cut Sojek?”

When his hand begins to pull away from my chest, I stop him, clutching to his arm. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked that.”

“I lost myself for a few minutes when I thought you’d escaped. I blamed Sojek, even though the fault would have been mine for not assigning a warrior to the rear of our group. I behaved as my father had.”

“We often take bad behaviors from the people who raise us, but now that you recognize it, you won’t do it again.”

More silence, but he’s no longer trying to pull away. In fact, he presses me to him, almost like a hug. His pain is palpable and very real.

“You’re nothing like your father, Atox.”

“You did not know him.”

“I know you. I see the male you are. You care for your people. You make mistakes and try to fix them. You see the flaws and the vulnerabilities in others but you work to make your people stronger. You make me stronger.”

So much suddenly becomes clear for me about Atox. “My fear of the dark, my inability to communicate with your people… Would your father have done anything to help a person with those?”

“He would have killed you for denying or disrespecting him. As he killed my mother when she placed herself between him and me, shielding me.”

I’m stunned. No words can remove his pain, no matter how much I want to. I shift in his lap, twisting my body so I can take his face in my hands. When his eyes meet mine, I see something I never thought I’d see in Atox. Fear.