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Chapter 37

There is nothing I can contribute to their preparations. I've watched them come and go while Khiara and I wait, mostly silent. We exchange gloomy glances and all I can think, with each passing moment, is that it's over. What purpose to saving the Queen, to winning a war, if the world I am saving is one without Dilacs?

My mouth feels like it's full of ash and my chest feels seared and empty. I try to cling to the remnants of hope but how can it be? He's in the heart of the Shaman's power, alone, facing who knows how many opponents?

"He is fine," Khiara whispers, putting his hand over mine.

"How can you be?—"

My response is cut off by an explosion. It's distant but it must also be massive because the vibration shakes the roughly held together walls of the hovel. Dirt falls and patters around us. Everyone looks at one another with wide eyes. The General barks orders and people run. Khiara and I stare at one another.

"Dilacs," we say in unison with one another and a smile spreads across my face until it is so wide that my cheeks hurt.

Khiara nods with enthusiasm then laughs. It's a loud, long laugh that draws the attention of everyone in the space.

"Something to share?" the General growls.

"That would be my brother," Khiara says, every inch of him beaming with pride.

"How do you know this?" the General asks.

"Because his brother, Dilacs, is very resourceful," Rani interjects. She also has a wide smile on her face as she walks over to stand in front of me. She covers my hands with hers, staring into my eyes with her kind, warm ones. "Tajss provides."

And for the first time, I truly dare to believe it might be true. The General grunts then moves to the door and peers out onto the street through the crack. People come and go, reporting to the General. Khiara and I stay close together, waiting.

"We should help him," I mutter, looking around and rubbing my arms to try and chase away the chill.

"Heh," Khiara grunts.

I look over hoping he's going to say something more, offer some course of action that is actually real and viable. He shakes his head, when our eyes meet, and he shrugs. I close my eyes and do my best to swallow the disappointment that swells.

"It's time," the General says, walking over to Rani.

She looks over to Khiara and I. The sadness on her face is as clear as a flashing sign. She frowns then walks over and places one hand on my arm.

"Gweneth," she says. "I know he is your dragoste, but he will catch up to us. We cannot stay here. It is too dangerous."

"Dilacs would not want you to stay here," Khiara says.

The choice that I've been dreading is here. The moment where I have to not only choose to leave him behind, but this time possibly for good. Throw all my hopes and desires to the wind and cling to the dim hope that not only will he survive, but he'll be able to find his way to me. The odds seem to be stacked so high against us that they are inconceivable.

It's not fair. Damn it.

Fair? When has life ever been fair? I counter my own petulant thoughts with the simplicity of truth. Life isn't fair and right now there are bigger things at stake than either Dilacs or me. If I can help get Rani to Rosalind… it's the only thing I know I can do that might save not only him, but all the Urr'ki.

And Khiara is right. This is what Dilacs would want. He would want me to go for safety, of course he would, but he would want even more for his people to be saved. I drop my arms to my sides and exhale sharply as I nod.

"Right," I agree.

"He will find you," Rani says.

"I hope," I say.

"No. Will. Never doubt, child. Hold strong to your faith, believe in him. Believe that Tajss did not bring you together only to rip you apart so soon."

I force a smile that I don't feel onto my face and nod.

"What do I need to do?" I ask the General.

"We're going to hide both of you in a carriage," he says.

"Oh…" I say, fear spiraling through my thoughts and leaving me reeling.

"Do not fear, I will be hidden in the carriage with you too," he says.

"No, it's, uh, it's fine," I lie.

It's not fine. It's very much not fine. It's awful. I can't stand the idea of being in a tight space, but what choice do I have?

Someone opens the door and backed right up to it is a large carriage. The General walks over and presses on one side. A hidden door drops to reveal a hidden space below the garbage and refuse piled onto the cart. My stomach sinks and I take an involuntary step back.

No. I can't. I can't do this.

Rani tightens her grip on my arm and guides me towards the cart. She leans close and whispers.

"I will go first. We will be fine," she says then climbs into the small space.

She fits, which is a surprise because it looks too small. I don't want to, fear is trying to force me to run away, but there is too much riding on this. I close my eyes and climb into the space, scooting in close until I am pressed against Rani.

The General climbs in filling what little space is left and taking over a chunk of my space too.

I'm okay. I'm okay.

The hidden door snaps closed and I'm anything but fine.

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