Chapter 12

She is everything I could ever have dreamed of. Her body is so soft in my arms as she molds herself against me, I groan into her mouth. Her scent fills my head. She pushes her hand between us, reaching for my cock.

I want to give it to her. All of it. I want to know her in every way possible.

Something explodes. The wall shakes, dishes rattle, and the moment between us is broken. I pull her away from the wall and quickly put her onto her feet while protectively placing her behind me. Glancing over my shoulder I motion for her to stay there as I move to the door.

I unlock and open it far enough to peek through the seam, while being ready to slam it shut if I need to. A cloud of dust rolls down the street, engulfing running people. Screams fill the air. I shut the door and relock it.

"What is happening?" Gweneth asks.

"I do not know," I say. "Something has exploded, obviously, but I cannot tell what or how bad it is."

"Do you think it's because of the quake?" her voice trembles.

Leaning against the door I shrug and shake my head. I hope her thought is the right one but I fear it may be something else. If the resistance is real, which we are assuming it is, and they were behind the attack on the Shaman… maybe they tried again.

"Perhaps," I say.

My thoughts spin in too many directions but riding along the top of all of them is my brother.

"Khiara," she says and I look up with genuine surprise. Is she reading my mind? "He's okay. Right? He has to be." I hesitate, not wanting to give voice to my own fears and concerns, but also not wanting to tell her less than the truth. She walks closer, raising her trembling hands then dropping them to her side. "He's okay."

She speaks in a whisper, almost as if she is offering up a prayer to Tajss. And right now there is nothing else either she or I can do.

"I am sure," I lie.

It's a white lie. The kind of lie you tell for reassurance. A lie I want to believe with all my heart but the dark wings of fear deep in my head flutter doubts.

"He is," she says, speaking now with certainty and nodding his head. "He is."

"Yes," I say, forcing myself to feel the same confidence that she is displaying.

"I need a drink," she says, shaking her head again. "You?"

"Please," I agree, following her into the kitchen.

Despite my worry I do not miss the opportunity to admire her ass. It is full, well rounded, bulging at all the proper points, with the shape of a heart. My dick stirs once more as my hands ache with the memory of holding that fantastic ass in my hands. I want to fuck that ass. I want to hear her scream my name as I do.

She gets the bottle out and two glasses, setting them on the table. She pours and recaps the bottle then takes one for herself. She motions towards the other, not moving to her seat. Staying where she knows I will be close to her. Too close.

What am I thinking? Khiara wants her too. I cannot hurt him. Though we fight and disagree often enough, I would never do something so callous as this. Not without talking him through it first.

But my dick throbs with aching need and the idea of her having my baby fills my head. Planting my seed in her, making a life with her, far from here. Away from the Shaman and his doomsday. Away from the lizards. Away from anyone who would try to end us.

Including Khiara?

I have never, in all my life, considered that my brother would not be around, be close. We have always been, even when he was on the streets, we were close. He would sneak around to see me, check in, make sure I was doing okay. Would I leave him behind? Could I? For her?

I close with her and take the glass. My need for the alcohol overriding my concern of being so close to her. And it is too close. The scent of her, sweet yet musky, fills my nose and I cannot keep myself from inhaling deeply of it.

My cock stiffens, I try to stop it but I might as well try to lift the mountain. I turn an angle to keep the bulge from pressing directly into her. That was a mistake. I toss the drink down, letting the burn distract me from the desires filling my head and heart.

I grab the bottle then move to the far side of the table and take the seat she normally sits in. She watches me move with a frown. She seems frustrated as she chews on her lip, then takes a seat in Khiara's chair opposite.

I pour another two fingers for myself and stare at the dark liquid. There is no way to breach this subject except to do so. I sip to brace myself then set the glass down and look at her.

"Gwen—"

"Dilacs—"

We speak at the same time, each of us overrunning the other. She chuckles as do I, both of us shaking our head.

"Go ahead," I offer, gesturing towards her with my glass.

"No, you," she says. "Please."

I swallow, having been hoping to avoid this for a little while longer. Fate has other plans it seems.

"Okay," I agree, sipping more. I need all the help I can get to steel my resolve. This is going to be the hardest thing I have ever done. I want her, need her, and am certain in the deepest part of my heart that she is the one I am meant to be with, but I cannot do that to my brother. "We can't do this."

"We, uh, you," she stumbles over words with wide eyes and shaking her head. "We? This?"

I close my eyes. If I'm looking at her I won't be able to say it. My will is not that strong that I can possibly see her pain and confusion and not cave in to what we both want.

"This," I say, my throat is so tight the word is barely a grumbling whisper. "Us. Khiara…"

I trail off unable to finish the thought.

"You don't want to hurt him," she says then her hand is on mine. Small, delicate, but warm and soothing as she traces circles on the back of mine.

"No," I nod. "I don't."

"Me either," she whispers. "But…"

I open my eyes. "But?"

She bites her lip, staring at her hand on mine, then she looks up and meets mine.

"I don't think I can," she whispers, her eyes glistening. "Not, that is."

My throat clenches tight. My heart is pounding and a chilly sweat trickles down my back. I don't know what to say because any words other than me too are going to be a lie. A partial lie, a white lie perhaps, but what does it matter because the lie is the lie.

"What do we do?"

Anguish fills my head. I don't want to hurt Khiara but how am I supposed to live without being with her? Kissing her. Touching her. Knowing her in every possible way. Especially when she is right here, so close, yet I am to not touch her? Not have her?

Her face is a mirror for my own. Her lips tremble, her eyelids flutter over those beautiful glistening orbs. She shakes her head side-to-side, raises her hands then dropping them. My arms ache with the need to take hold of her and wipe away her tears. Hold her, safe and warm, until she feels it, knows it in the deepest parts of her heart.

"What if… no," she closes her eyes and swallows hard.

"What?" I ask.

She doesn't open her eyes and her voice is almost broken, shattered with the weight of emotions.

"Could we… hide it?" she opens her eyes as she clenches her jaw and nods. "We don't want to hurt him. I know it, you know it, but what if…"

She leaves it hanging.

"When the time is right," I offer.

"Yes!" she says, moving forward almost as if she was pulled into me by gravity. "Now is not the time. There is so much," she gestures with one arm, "it's terrible timing. All this going on."

"We'll have to be… careful," I offer. "He already sees it."

"Of course," she nods, biting her lower lip and my cock is instantly rock hard. I want her with an intensity and need that it is all I can do to not grab her and race her to my brother's bed upstairs. "But if we're careful. Just until things are less tense. The riots, the quakes, it's a lot."

I nod, but my will crumbles and hers must at the same time. We rush into each others arms and I sweep her off her feet, spinning her around as our lips come back together.