Chapter 10

My heart is pounding and my mouth is dry. Everything moves in slow motion. A bead of sweat trickles down Khiara's forehead. The alcohol sloshes in his glass, rising towards the rim as he twirls it in his hand.

Please don't ask. Don't. I don't want to hurt you. I like you, Khiara, but not like that.

His mouth moves, lips pursing then parting. Seconds, less than seconds, crawl past as panic rises, making my stomach churn. My thoughts scatter.

"Yes," he says and it sounds as if the word is dragged out into impossibility. "And so it is."

His eyes bore into mine. The question is there, hanging between us, waiting to be given voice. He wants to know it and I don't want to answer putting us at an as of yet unspoken impasse. Damn it. Why has he been so kind? He's a good man. A nice guy and sure, he deserves someone to love him. Just not me.

He looks away and time rushes to catch up with itself. It feels as if I've dropped over a sudden, unexpected hill. My stomach flies up then drops and cold sweat beads on my arms. I blink, swallow, and try to get my thoughts together.

"So it is," I say, barely a whisper with my hoarse voice.

He's staring at the wall, avoiding my eyes? Avoiding me? He clears his throat and gets up. The chair scratches loudly as it slides then he pushes it back into the table. He turns his back, returning to the tools and resuming cleaning them.

Ask him if he's okay. Check on him. Show you care.

I want to. I should. I know it, but I'm afraid. Afraid that if I do it will be too much. I don't want to risk leading him on. Giving him the wrong idea but I don't want to be mean to him either. How do I resolve this?

He scrubs the tools clean while I sit in silence. Paralyzed by my fear of saying or doing the wrong thing. Why do relationships have to be so hard? On the ship I'd read romance stories and sure there were always problems to be overcome, if not then there'd not be much of a story, but it was always so much simpler.

Or it felt like it was easier. This… this is hard. It hurts because I don't want to be wrong. Or cause pain, even knowing that I am. I must say something. Anything. What, I have no idea, but I clear my throat intending to say something. Hopefully something clever. I rise from the chair, leaning on the table, wanting to be more on a level with him.

"Khiara, uh, I?—"

The door opens cutting me off. Khiara and I both jerk around to face whoever is bursting in. I hate the fact that such a simple thing causes me so much fear. I really expect it to be the Maulavi bursting in to take me away.

Will he fight? Will they kill him?

Dilacs stops in the door, staring at the two of us with a deep frown on his face. Relief rushes through me so fast and so hard that my knees are weak. I drop back into my chair unable to remain standing. I exhale sharply and close my eyes trying to will my speeding heart to slow back down.

"Brother," Khiara growls. "You're back earlier than I expected."

"Did I interrupt something?" he asks, hooded eyes slowly drifting from Khiara to me then back.

"No," I say, and I am so incredibly embarrassed that my voice squeaks when I speak.

Good job. Way to not look guilty. Even if nothing did happen.

Khiara glances at me as he grunts and points to the ceiling.

"I did the patching," he says.

Dilacs walks the rest of the way in, closing the door behind him and locking it, then rises onto his toes to inspect the patch. He grumbles and nods.

"Good work," he says. "Should hold well."

"Heh," Khiara grunts, shaking his head. "No patch will hold if there is another quake."

"Right," Dilacs says.

"Well? You going to chit-chat the entire time or tell us what you found out?" Khiara asks.

A slow, mischievous grin spreads over Dilacs's face and he chuckles.

"I don't know, thought maybe I'd talk about something else. Why? You curious brother?" he asks. Khiara's answer is a punch in the arm. Dilacs grunts, rolling with the hit, then rubbing the spot on his arm. "I spoke to Mazabuta."

Khiara moves to his seat at the table and motions towards the other chair. Dilacs takes it but pours himself a drink instead of continuing.

"Well, come on," Khiara says. "Enough with the dramatics. What did you find out?"

Dilacs takes a drink but the entire time he sips his eyes are locked onto mine, staring over the rim of his glass. He finishes his drink then sets it on the table.

"Annalise is pregnant," he says.

"What?" I exclaim, leaping to my feet. "No. You're kidding? For real? Oh, shit. I mean… is she okay? I didn't… wow."

Words fumble out of my mouth running one over the next. Surprise is overwhelming making it almost impossible to form a coherent thought. I didn't think about it. I know the Zmaj and humans are compatible, but no one knew if that would be true between the alien Urr'ki and the humans, but I guess it is.

An empty ache forms in my belly. What will her baby look like? Even my arms suddenly feel a lack. I've never had baby fever. Even when that red comet appeared in the sky, way back when we were still in the bunker, and everyone went nuts for an entire night I didn't feel that pull.

So many babies have been born and even more will be born after that night but for me, nothing. Not a twinge of desire. Yet now, not even seeing her and as far as I know no mystical red comet in the sky, and I've got baby fever burning hot.

"Yes," Dilacs says, nodding slowly, those heavy eyes fixed on me.

"Surprising," Khiara says, speaking softly. He is staring at his brother, still avoiding looking at me. A pang stabs in my heart because I feel so bad for him. "Good news, I suppose, but not why you went out."

"No, it's not why," Dilacs agrees. He takes another drink. "And while it is good, we all know that it is also bad. The Shaman and the Maulavi cannot know."

Khiara growls.

"What do you think they would do?" I ask, cold chills running down my spine.

"Nothing good," Dilacs says.

"No, but the point brother. Come, quit holding back. Did you ask him?"

"I did. And the rumors are true. More true than we could ever have imagined."

"What do you mean?" Khiara asks, his hand clenching into a tight fist.

Dilacs conspiratorially leans over the table and looks between the two of us but lands with his eyes on his brother.

"Janara is alive," he whispers.

"What? Who?" I ask, not understanding the importance of the name but it has a clear effect on Khiara.

"No," he says and now his voice is low and hoarse and his eyes wide. "It cannot be."

"Mazabuta himself says so," Dilacs says.

"But… that means…"

"Means what? What does it mean? Who is Janara?"

"Shhh," Dilacs hisses, putting his hand over my mouth and looking quickly around. "Not so loud. Ears are everywhere."

The cold chills dive bomb to new levels of unbelievably artic cold. So cold I expect to see my breath on the air and frost forming on my limbs.

I nod, behind Dilacs's hand. He takes it away and damn my heart for wishing he was still touching me.

"Who?" I whisper.

"The Queen's General," Khiara says, soft and a reverence in his tone. "He was supposed to have been sacrificed. Right after the Queen was announced as too ill for the public."

"Apparently a ruse," Dilacs says.

"Hope," Khiara says and his eyes meet mine and the fire burning in them is undeniable. His tusks quiver, his lips twist, then a smile spreads over his face. "Hope."

He repeats the word, shaking his head.

"That's not all," Dilacs says.

"More?" Khiara asks.

I look away from Khiara, uncomfortable holding his gaze for fear he'll think I'm leading him on. Still I feel his gaze on me. Damn it why is this so hard?

"You have a meeting," Dilacs says.

Khiara gasps then he leaps from his seat. The chair falls to the ground with a loud clatter matched only by Khiara's whoop of joy. He dances around the room, pumping his fist in the air. I have to wonder how much he's had to drink. He stops, turns back around, and the smile on his face is the biggest and brightest I've ever seen.

"When?" Khiara asks.

"Tonight," Dilacs says.

"Only me?" Khiara asks.

"Yes," Dilacs says, looking over to me. "I didn't want to leave Gweneth alone."

The airy joy in the room chills almost immediately.

"Right," Khiara growls, his bright eyes turning to a glare that is fixed hard on his brother.

Dilacs meets the glare and shrugs.

"If you prefer, I can go," he offers.

"No," Khiara says. "I will go."

The suspicion is clear in his eyes but I can also see he's torn. This is obviously an important development. I don't think I understand the importance of it since I don't really know who this General is, but it also brings hope to my own mission. The one I haven't shared with these two. I need to find a way to get this information to Rosalind.

We were supposed to pass information back via Mazabuta but the Maulavi locked me into this room and that hasn't been possible. Somehow I'll have to find a way. The resistance among the Urr'ki is real and is being led by a General.

Maybe, just maybe, we can pull this off. Not maybe. We must. I can't let the Zmaj destroy these people. There is good among them. I came to stop a war and damn it I'm going to find a way to save them all.