Chapter 10

CHAPTER TEN

LILY

" H eads up," Owen barks as he passes by my table in Pen'Kesh, not missing the chance to run his hand down my arm.

I jerk away. Let him and the others see how I detest him.

He moves to the center of the square, ignoring my rebuff. All these males think they own us. Owen, more than the others.

"Orcs in the market," he announces. "For your safety, stay in the square where we can see you at all times."

My heart thunders and sweat dances across my forehead, but not because of the hot morning sun. What if Ryko is one of the orcs?

I don't want to see him. I can't bear the embarrassment, not after the way he discarded me. Used me.

It is the least I can do… as payment for your services.

For the last three weeks, I've been on an emotional rollercoaster, trying to understand what happened between us. Everything had felt real to me. At times, it still does.

At first, I convinced myself those words were not spoken in anger or hate, but to protect me, to cover for our actions in front of the other orc.

But then Ryko never returned to Pen'Kesh. Or if he did, he certainly never entered the square where I have my table. Or sought me out on the trails during any of my breaks.

In my heart, I still want him. Which is why I don't want to believe his words were filled with truth and he never loved me.

"Watch your wares and your mouths." Owen's warning continues as he passes each of the dozen tables, wrapping his knuckles against rough wood to gain our attention. To make himself appear more important than he is.

"You have nothing to fear if you obey us." He indicates the other seven guards here today. More than usual.

His words, grandiose and ripe with self-importance, reflect the status of relations between New Earth and the orcs of Kovos. We don't even know what the name of their colony is. Or where it is. Because the orcs share nothing with us. They don't trust us, and we don't trust them.

But do I trust Ryko?

I don't know.

I want you in my furs beneath Mount Racha, beneath me.

Yes, I do know the name of his colony. He told me!

I gaze at the entrance to our sector, hoping to glimpse a muscular green figure with wild hair and a charming smile hovering in the market's center.

"The monsters are now moving in packs. No longer one at a time." Owen's voice dips low, intentionally trying to scare us. And from the terrified expressions on the faces of the other women, it's working.

I turn my eyes away from Owen, wishing I could shut my ears from hearing him, too. Besides, I'm more interested in finding Ryko, if he's here. I need to find out the truth, even if… even if he meant what he said.

"One of them is bad enough. While I doubt you'll succeed, there is always a chance you can outrun a single monster. But when they're moving in a pack like this?—"

"Pack?" The word catches my attention. "Is he talking about the vints now?" I ask Paloma. Her table got moved to the back of the square with mine, as far from the entrance as possible. The men decided to situate the pretty women closer to the entrance to draw more customers in. Rather, the ones they consider pretty.

Pay attention," Paloma scolds. "For once, he's saying stuff we need to hear. Apparently, there was some dust-up between Council and the orc king."

"And?"

"Owen said the orcs could attack any one of us. We're not to leave our sector. And if any orcs enter, then call a guard over."

"We cannot ban the orcs from our sector," I reply. "That could cause issues with the other species here. Alliances shift all the time." As do relationships , I add silently as I picture myself on my knees looking up at Ryko with his cock in my mouth. Could I have been so wrong about him?

"It's a miracle relative peace has been maintained in Pen'Kesh this long," Paloma says.

Politics. A dirty, ugly, breathing entity.

"Orcs, ladies. Remember what they'll do to you if you're caught outside our sector."

Like a hot abrasive storm sweeping across the square, a shudder goes through every woman here, one by one.

My stomach rises and falls with Owen's words. Or maybe it's the thought—or hope—that I might see Ryko again.

I'm glad the men moved my table to the back, where I can effectively hide. I'm not ready to see him.

And yet I desperately want to. To ask if I meant anything to him at all. Anything beyond a wet, warm mouth willing to suck his cock .

It is the least I can do… as payment for your services.

His words still turn my stomach, but it's my own naivete that makes me sick. Ryko had given me a choice that day. Or had that all been part of the manipulation? I'm no longer sure. I've played and replayed what happened between us and it always ends the same. With him dismissing me as a whore.

Or he might have spoken those horrid words to convince the other orc there wasn't anything serious going on between us. Just him hooking up with a random woman for sex.

My heart races at the hope that it was nothing more than a lie fabricated to protect me.

But three weeks…. I'm caught in a confusing, never-ending loop of questioning what the truth is, leaving me to assess the situation objectively, if that's possible.

If I were an outsider assessing the facts, I'd say he never wanted me. That I was little more than a challenge to him.

I scoff at the word. He likes challenges. He said as much nearly a dozen times.

I swallow, hard. Is that it, then? I'm resisting that interpretation because… because the truth is often hard to accept. Like when I learned my parents were killed in the first attack on Earth. Through all the horrors of the invasion, all the destruction around me, I still believed they'd suddenly walk through the front door of our house one day. But they never did.

After Ryko spoke those horrible words and I returned to the market, I convinced myself he had been covering for us, nothing more. I fully expected he'd explain himself the next day. But he never returned.

I entertained possibility after possibility, stacked the excuses for his cruel words and failure to return until they were towered so high they crumbled under the oppressive weight of the truth, taking my confidence with them.

I never found out why he didn't return and I likely never will. But I can't forget him .

Every time I convince myself he's evil, that adorable grin of his pops into my head. That's when all the memories flood me, from how tenderly he held me and the lessons he taught me to his ever-present desire to protect me.

Ryko did more than teach me how to survive in the woods; he built up my confidence. He helped me believe in myself again.

I can't bring myself to hate him, despite the sense of betrayal and hurt. But that crushing sense of guilt from being so na?ve, overwhelms me at times.

Closure. That's what I need.

A sharp elbow pokes me in my ribs. "Stop daydreaming, sunshine," Paloma says.

The nickname, said with love, no longer applies. I don't smile much anymore. Though for her, I plaster a smile on my face. She has tried talking to me, to get me to tell her what's been bothering me, but I can't. Not yet.

"I'm not daydreaming," I lie.

She shakes her head as if she doesn't know what to do about me. "I guess Owen wasn't exaggerating," she says instead of prying about why I'm in a funk.

"What do you mean?"

She points to the entrance to our sector. Four hulking orcs, each one larger than the next, block the cobblestone path, barring anyone from entering or exiting.

And at the end of that line of orcs… Ryko.