Chapter Sixteen

Andy

I somehow managed to shower, change my clothes, and move downstairs into the living room after Leo left. Dad forced me to eat breakfast, oatmeal and blueberries, but for some reason, he didn't force me to talk. Instead, he puttered around the house, cooing at my brothers and scolding them when they swore, before he sat down on the couch next to me. Dad didn't say anything, but I could feel his gaze digging into me. Trying to read my mind. What would he think if he could? Probably how terrible of a human I was.

"Stop." I sighed and turned the television off. I wasn't even watching it. It was more like a white noise in my head. "Just say whatever it is you want to say."

Dad moved closer. "I think you should see someone. A therapist. That way you—"

"Fuck no." I jumped to my feet. "I don't need a shrink, okay? I just need a little time to think. That's it, and then I'll be right as new. You don't have to worry about me."

Dad patted the spot next to him. "Sit down, Andrew."

He hardly ever got upset with us. He was always kind, loving, and reassuring. But sometimes, like right now, he would get this look on his face that he meant business. He wasn't mad. He was just asserting his dominance, and honestly, it was a little scary. The coolness of his eyes, the firm line of his lips. It didn't matter that the man was nearly a foot shorter than I was. I was going to listen.

I dropped down next to him, folded my arms over my chest, and popped my jaw. "Say whatever it is you want to say."

"Kiddo, I love you. You were my first baby, and you'll always be just that. I know you're struggling. Seeing your mother brought up things you've hidden for years. Talking to someone might help you overcome that. It helped me."

Dad still had that bossy look about him. The way he pressed his lips together, the way he held his head high. I knew all about what his parents put him through, the way he pretended to be someone he wasn't, took the brunt of everything for Uncle Dean. He had the scars to prove it. That's part of why he and Pop broke up. Because my grandparents were dicks.

"I have Leo. He'll help me get through this."

"I'm sure he will, Andy. Your pop was amazing. So strong and protective, but even he couldn't save me from myself."

My throat grew tight. "Dad, I..." I shook my head as I tried to figure out how to word things. I loved both of my fathers. They had taken me in, given me a home, and raised me, had given me chances that I never would have had otherwise. Maverick Frost was my idol. Disappointing him was something I never wanted to do.

"Whatever you're struggling with, it's okay. Tell me or don't, but please don't carry this around alone. And don't make Leo carry it for you," Dad murmured. He patted my thigh before he stood up. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to head to the grocery store. Text me if you think of anything you'd like or need."

I stayed on the couch until I knew he was gone and then I began hunting around the house. I needed something to take the edge off. Something that would calm my head and the voices inside of it. Only there was nothing. Dad didn't drink, therefore neither did Pop. How could this entire house be dry? I heard the footsteps above my head as Lucas moved around his room, and a thought occurred to me. He was an eighteen-year-old boy. He had to have something in his room I could use.

"Let me in." I knocked loudly on his door. When he didn't answer, I knocked louder. "Hey, Lucas!"

The door whipped open. "Big brother, what can I do for you?" He folded his arms over his thick chest.

"Do you have anything to drink?" I pushed past him and into his room.

Lucas raised his brows. "You think I would be stupid enough to bring anything into this house? Dad and Pop would smell it a mile away. Ground me for life."

I tried not to look disappointed. I could always go out and buy something of my own. "Of course. Right. I shouldn't have assumed that."

"Don't give up so easily, Andy. I said I wouldn't bring it here, but that doesn't mean it's not somewhere else." Lucas grinned. "Come on." He waved for me to follow him.

We went back downstairs, outside, and into the yard. Right to the guesthouse. Once inside, Lucas went over to the fridge, opened the freezer, dug around, and pulled out a bottle of vodka. He winked, grabbed two glasses, and placed everything on the table.

"Now, if the dads ask, this didn't come from me." Lucas poured vodka into both cups and pushed one toward me. "You know how Dad feels about booze."

I did. We all did.

I gulped the booze back in a heartbeat. It burned all the way down my throat, but I welcomed it. I enjoyed that first taste, the way it lit up my insides and warmed my soul. "More."

"You're going to have to replace this."

"I'll buy you a dozen."

Lucas sipped his as I drowned my second and then third glass, that fuzzy, floaty feeling taking over my body. All my cares seemed to just disappear.

"Are you staying here or going back on the road?"

"I'm home for six weeks and then the tour starts again." I reached for the bottle, but Lucas snatched it away. "Give it," I growled.

He shook his head. "Nah, bro. What's going on with you right now? Even when you lived at home, you never drank. You were the good son. What gives? Is it Leo? Is he seeing someone and this your way to try to escape?"

"No." I clenched my teeth. "It's just...I just do it now and then, when my thoughts are scattered and I can't think straight. It helps calm me."

Lucas popped a brow. "So, it's like a coping mechanism? Bro, that doesn't sound healthy. Have you spoken to Dad about this yet? He would help."

"No, and I would appreciate it if you didn't say anything. He's already trying to get me to talk to a shrink, and that's not ever going to happen. I'm not broken."

Lucas scratched his chin, giving me a chance to really take him in as he stared at me. My little brother had become a man. Sure, he was eighteen, three years younger than I was, but he looked much older. His shoulders were broad and thick, muscles bulked beneath his shirt. I was a big guy at nearly six-five, but he was already bigger than that, and he hadn't stopped growing yet.

"You won't, right? Say anything to them? I love Dad and Pop. I don't want to burden them with this." I chewed on my lip nervously.

Lucas grunted. "Fine, but if this gets out, don't you dare say I knew anything about it."

The sound of voices brought my attention to the outside, and when I opened the door to the guesthouse, I saw Killian and Matthias Hampton walking across the yard. They were holding hands, laughing at something, and then Killian stopped, gripped Matthais's head in his hands, and kissed him.

"Get a room!" Lucas called out, and Killian stuck up his middle finger.

My brother laughed as he left me to go say hello to the Mulligan Downtown singer. I had idolized my father growing up, but Lucas had the biggest crush on Killian. With the blue eyes, the tattoos, and chestnut curls, we all had at one point or another.

I quickly shoved the alcohol back into the freezer just as the three of them walked inside. I tried to force a smile and look normal. Lucas wiggled his brows at me as Killian came closer, his blue eyes taking in everything. Once he seemed satisfied, he sat down at the small table and knocked his tattooed covered fingers against the wood and gestured at me.

"Have a seat, Andy." He leaned back as he waited for me to do what he asked.

Which I did. "Where's Archer?" I hadn't seen Killian and Matthais's son in some time. He was adorable, a mini version of Killian with his dark curly hair and big blue eyes. He even had the dimples to match.

"With Dean," Killian answered. "What are your intentions with Leo? Do you want him back, or are you just going to jerk his chain?

My jaw dropped. "I wouldn't...What are you talking about? I love Leo. You need to leave." I got to my feet.

"Sit down, Andy," Killian demanded. "Do not make me tell your father that you've been drinking. With your underage brother."

I slowly sank back into my chair.

"Babe, take Lucas outside." Killian blew his husband a kiss before he turned back to me. "Now listen to me and listen good. Whatever you're doing, knock it the fuck off. If you want Leo, then you fix the mistake you made. If you don't, then you leave him alone. Do you understand me? And no more fucking drinking."

My chin quivered as I tried to find words to answer. "I'm sorry." God, why did I keep saying that over and over again? It wasn't going to fix the mistakes I had made. It wouldn't take back the words I said or the way I'd hurt the man I loved.

"Don't apologize to me," Killian said, worry lines written all over his face. "Leo loves you, Andy. I'm pretty sure that he's always loved you. Don't be an asshole. Fix whatever you did."

I nodded. "I'm trying. I...How did you win Matthias back?"

"The first thing I did was tell the world I loved him. Then, after a couple of screw-ups, I got help. I went to rehab, I started seeing a therapist, and even though I've had a couple of setbacks, I always made sure Matthias knew I loved him. That he was it for me. And I would continue to fight to be the best person I could be." Killian gave me a shy smile, his eyes full of unshed tears.

I took a shaky breath. "I broke up with him because Ford thought it was a good idea. He said that the three of us should go on the road together unattached. We could have so much fun together. That having someone back home would only hold me down, and I believed him." Tears slipped down my cheeks. "I was stupid. So fucking stupid, and I've done nothing but regret it ever since."

"I take it your fathers don't know."

"Uh, no. And I don't want them to. About any of this."

Killian climbed from his chair, went to the freezer, and took out the vodka. "No more of this." He quickly emptied the contents into the sink. "Is there more?"

"It wasn't even mine," I assured him, then realized that I had outed my brother. "Lucas is going to be pissed."

Killian chuckled as he shook his head. "Your brother isn't my problem at the moment." He leaned against the counter. "You need to talk to Leo, then you need to talk to your parents." He held up a hand when I started to object. "And maybe consider therapy."

"Why does everyone keep telling me that?" I groaned and dropped my head back.

Killian snorted. "Maverick's smart, Andy. You need to listen to him."

Speaking of, I could hear my father as he laughed, his high-pitched squeal following behind it, which meant that Pop was home, too. "Thanks."

"I'm here if you need anything. No questions asked," Killian told me. "Oh, and you might want to brush your teeth. Mav is going to smell that a mile away."

I felt sick when I realized I was going to have to tell everyone the truth. Leo was going to be so mad at me for listening to Ford and so was Dad. But now I realized that I wanted the whole truth to come out so I could move on.

Hopefully, that would be with Leo.