Chapter 1

Did Cos hate me for not tying with him yet? Was I the worst mate ever?

Yes. Yes, I was.

Even Logan had tied with his mate already, and they’d only been dating for like two months.

Fuck.

Cos must be so upset.

We’d been together for years. Years.

And we still weren’t tied.

At least I’d asked him, though, right? That had to count for something, didn’t it?

Yeah, we hadn’t been able to make the timing work out yet, but… we were trying, weren’t we? Wasn’t I? I was trying to make it up to my mate, who deserved so much better than me. So, so, so much better. Cos was the best person I’d ever met, and I was, well, just… me—a prickly jerkhat. And a selfish one at that.

“What are you thinking so hard about?” my mate’s sleepy voice asked me as he nuzzled into my bare chest. We were both wearing sleep pants, and that was it. We would’ve slept naked, but Teo had been sneaking into our bed pretty regularly since he’d returned from the People’s Liberation Union, and the last thing he needed to find was us naked under the sheets.

“Nothing.”

“You’re grinding your teeth so hard, you woke me up.”

“No, I’m not.”

He poked my chin. “Yes, you are.”

I had to forcibly loosen my jaw and work my mouth open. As soon as I did, I winced because ow. I really had been grinding my teeth, hadn’t I? Shit. I worked my stupid jaw back and forth, trying to stretch it and hoping that would help the pain. “I didn’t even notice.”

Cos leaned up and pressed a few kisses along my jawline before he balanced on his elbow to get a better look at me. He frowned as he took in my expression. “What’s wrong?”

I sighed. I didn’t want to tell him what I was thinking about. It was kind of embarrassing, if I was being honest. Since I’d found out that Logan and Haiden were tying, I’d been… pissed.

At myself, mostly.

Not only was I slacking in my mate duties, but I’d been such a jerkhat that my little brother and little tiger hadn’t felt like they could talk to me about their plans.

I wanted to kick my own ass for it.

And for my behavior toward them after I found out. No wonder they hadn’t wanted to tell me. I was such a prickhole.

Thank the goddess I’d finally stopped taking my anger at myself out on them and got my head out of my own ass. But that didn’t excuse how horrible I’d been.

Ugh. I couldn’t do anything about it, either. Not unless I could build a time machine, go back to a few weeks ago, and kick my own ass.

Poppy stretched on the pillow above my head, knocking me out of my own thoughts.

Cos moved around a little, so I pulled my arm out from under him so he could rest his cheek in his palm, still leaning on his elbow and continuing to stare down at me. He placed his other hand flat on my chest, anchoring me like the rock he’d become for me years ago.

Could I ever become a rock for him? Would I always be the needy one in this relationship? Always taking and never giving?

He sent me a soft smile and waited for me to be ready to talk to him. Patient, as always.

Goddess, I was a piece of work.

“Do you hate me?” I finally blurted and immediately cringed because that had not been what I wanted to ask.

He blinked at me, his eyebrows rising into his hairline with his surprise. “I love you.” His brow furrowed. “Why would you… did I do something to make you think I?—”

“No.” I cut him off, not wanting him to go down that road since this wasn’t his fault in the least. “Not at all.”

“Then why are you asking me if I hate you, Madeo? I love you. You have to know that, right? You have to feel it?” He looked so damn worried—I felt his worry wrap around my heart like a vice—and it made me feel like a total piece of shit.

“I…”

“You’re the love of my life, and I never could’ve asked for anyone more perfect for me. You’re my person, Mads.”

I swallowed around the sudden dryness in my throat and blinked my tears away before they had a chance to fall. “How are you so sweet? Why are you so sweet to me?”

His brow furrowed further, his confusion deepening, a look of hurt crossing his features and weaving its way around my heart. “Why are you…?” He cleared his throat. “Mads, what’s going on? What’s wrong?”

Great. And now I’d not only upset him, I’d hurt his feelings. “We haven’t tied yet.”

His confusion didn’t lessen. If anything, it grew. “So…?”

“So literally everyone else has tied! Even Logan and Haiden have, and they’ve been together for a fraction of the time we have. We’ve been together for over four years, Cos. Years. Everyone else tied after like a year—or less, way less for the kids. How can you even stand to look at me when?—”

“Hey. Stop.” He lifted his hand and brushed his knuckles over my cheek, then gently tilted my face to his so I’d meet his gaze. “I don’t care what anyone else has done. This is our relationship, Mads. You and me. No one else gets to dictate how we are with each other or what we mean to one another. Just because they tied sooner than we did doesn’t mean our love is any less valuable. I love you, sweetheart, with my whole heart, with my entire soul. And you know what?”

I almost didn’t answer, but then he seemed to be looking for a response, so I whispered, “What?”

He smiled. “I know you love me just as much.” He tapped his hand over his own heart. “I feel it in here. We’re already irrevocably bound together, Mads, and we have been for a long time. We love each other, and that’s all that matters to me. The rest is just noise. If you never wanted to get tied, I would’ve been fine with it. Because, guess what? I know we’re going to be together forever. I have no doubt. Like I said, we’re it for each other, and tying or not tying is never going to change that.”

“Yeah, but?—”

He cut me off with a smack of his lips on mine. “No buts.”

“But—”

He did it again. “No buts, you stubborn mage.”

“Yeah, but?—”

He did it again. “I can do this all day.”

“B—”

When he did it again, I laughed.

“I wasn’t going to say but that time!”

“You were so.”

“Nope. I was going to say butterscotch.”

He lifted a doubtful eyebrow. “Butterscotch? Why the hell would you say butterscotch?”

“To see if I still got kisses for words with but in them.”

He stared at me for a beat, then chuckled and fell forward so his face was in my chest again. “You are so…”

“You gonna finish that sentence?”

“Nope. I don’t want to sleep on the couch tonight.”

I snorted and started running my fingertips over the soft skin of his upper back. His sweet words, kisses, and laughter lightened my heart in a way I didn’t think anything else could. I felt like I could breathe, even if I was still worried and upset that we hadn’t tied yet. I felt lighter after talking to him, to my Cos. “Have I ever made you sleep on the couch before?”

“No, but there’s a first time for everything.”

I chuckled. “So you get to say but, but I don’t?”

“You just did.”

“Yeah, and I’m disappointed that you didn’t ki?—”

This time, instead of cutting me off with a peck, he captured my mouth, pried it open with his tongue, and licked inside it, making me groan. Our tongues dueled for a few minutes, and I pulled Cos on top of me to cover me with his body. Reaching down, I grabbed his ass with one hand, the other buried in his hair, and just as I rutted up against him, my HID alarm went off.

Both of us jumped in fright, then laughed against each other’s lips as I fumbled with my HID, trying to turn off the alarm without pulling my mouth away from his. When it didn’t work, I groaned in frustration, broke our kiss, and gave him a gentle push. Cos slid off me with a sigh, and finally, I got the damn annoying alarm turned off.

“I still like the bedside alarm better,” I said into the blissful silence.

“You broke three alarms in, like, seven weeks. The word like seems relative.”

“It’s not my fault they don’t withstand being thrown at the wall.”

He rolled his eyes, shaking his head, but his lips were quirked up in amusement. “I’m not sure any electronics can withstand the Madeo Ono-Nai fury.”

I lifted one of the extra pillows to whack him in the head with it, laughing. He caught it before it could make contact, yanked it out of my hand, and tried to hit me with it instead.

I knocked his arm away with ease and used his own momentum to flip him to his back, landing on top of him. He let out an oomph and laughed into my mouth as I kissed him again. Poppy let out an annoyed trill, but I didn’t look to see if she moved away.

All too soon, he broke the kiss and whispered, “I hear little footsteps heading this way.”

With a sigh, I wrapped my arms under his shoulders and rested my cheek against his chest, closing my eyes to listen to his heartbeat for a few precious seconds while I tried to will my cock back down. Playing around with Cos in our bed had definitely brought certain things to life, that was for sure.

Cos hugged me to him, running his hand over the skin of my back as we waited for Teo to invade. Or at least, I assumed it was Teo. El had only slept in our bed that first night. Since then, she’d stayed in her room. I had a feeling she thought she was too old for it, which made me sad. She was our little girl, and I didn’t want that to ever change.

Ugh. Time was something I couldn’t battle, no matter how badly I wanted to.

Only a minute later, our bedroom door was thrown open so hard it smacked into the wall and bounced off loudly.

“You guys are awake!” Teo yelled—way too loud for so early in the morning and pre-coffee—and the little man walked straight over to the bed, hopping up.

I slid off Cos, and my mate said, “Pretty sure anyone would be after that grand entrance. What did we tell you about slamming doors?”

He frowned. “I didn’t slam it. I threw it open.”

“It still slammed against the wall, didn’t it?”

“I… guess?”

I snorted. “How about you just work on opening and closing doors without making them bang against anything?”

“Sure. Sorry.”

“It’s alright.” Cos flattened a spot in between us, and Teo didn’t hesitate to dive in and snuggle right up to his alpha. And to me, too.

I scooted in and put my arm around the tiny tiger shifter, resting my hand on Cosmo’s belly. We had started getting up ten minutes earlier so we could spend a few minutes with Teo every morning before we got ready for work and he got ready for school—even on the days he snuck into our bed in the middle of the night, we woke early for morning cuddles. The cub seemed to need the reassurance that we were still here, that he was home, and that our family was still together. It made me sad that he felt so displaced, but hopefully what we were doing was helping him. Time was the only thing that could help—damn time, getting in the way again.

To be honest, I looked forward to this just as much, if not more, than Teo did. Cos seemed to as well.

We’d missed our little cub something fierce, and I knew our days of morning cuddles were numbered, so I was trying to soak it up while I could.

Even Poppy and Licorice, who I hadn’t realized was still in our room, came over to join in the cuddles. Poppy wrapped her little body around Teo’s head, making him laugh. And Licorice snuggled into his chest, demanding pets from the cute tiger shifter.

Eventually, we all got up and started getting ready for our day, but we met back up in the kitchen for breakfast. I wasn’t surprised at all when Teo hopped up on my lap while he ate his French toast. He did that a lot, too. If I was sitting anywhere in the house, there was a good chance I’d end up with a cute tiger shifter in my lap at some point.

I didn’t mind at all. Not even when I had to eat my own breakfast one-handed.

Eventually, it was time to go, and like every morning, Teo held onto me, hugging me tighter than he used to.

I kissed the top of his head and whispered, “I’ll see you later, T.” And then, because he seemed like he needed it this morning, I added, “I promise.”

He took a deep breath and finally released me. “See you later… love you, Mads.”

“I love you, too, T. So much.”

After giving him one last forehead kiss, I headed to the van so Cos could drive us to work.

When I hopped in, Charlie said, “Did you guys see the For Sale sign next door?”

I looked over at the smaller house for a second before sharing a glance with Cos. He nodded and shrugged, then answered his brother. “Looks like they finally put that empty house on the market. That’s a good thing.”

“I didn’t even realize the Clarkes had moved out.”

I turned to look at him. “You seriously didn’t notice the moving van and stuff a couple of weeks ago?”

He shrugged and winked at me. “I only have eyes for Ash.”

I chuckled, and Ash groaned out, “Stop.”

With a laugh, Char sat back, wrapped Ash in his arms, and started torturing him with kisses all over his face.

Cos and I both laughed at them, and my mate finally pulled out of the driveaway.