Chapter 18

It took a few days to adjust to the amount of energy running through our bond. It sort of felt like someone took a live wire to our soul bond, and now, bolts of electricity were constantly running through it.

But it wasn’t unpleasant. Not at all.

Being aware of another person and their emotions had always been a part of my life, and being aware of two people was something I’d gotten used to over the last four, nearly five, years.

But this was more intense somehow.

And there was a constant stream of love and affection coming through our bond. Like a lot of love. So much freaking love I was overflowing with it.

It made me want to be near Cos even more than usual. Near him and touching. Apparently that need would eventually chill the heck out and become more manageable, but right now, I just wanted to hug him and never let go.

Which was annoying and gross and sappy and blech.

Buuutt… I also kind of liked it.

My mate has turned me into a sap. Sigh.

Two weeks after our tying ceremony, I was sitting at the fire pit with Cos in his lion form. He had his big head in my lap and his front legs tangled with my legs as I petted his head and brushed my fingers through his mane. His eyes were closed, his purr was loud, and I couldn’t help but smile at him.

He was so cute. So adorable.

Such a cat, sunbathing and sleepy.

I loved it.

One of his eyes peeked open, staring at me.

Even with our bond strengthened so much, I couldn’t hear his thoughts or anything, but I knew exactly what he was thinking anyway. It was even easier to decipher subtleties in Cosmo’s emotions and what almost felt like thoughts but without the actual words. I didn’t know, it was hard to explain.

I’m not adorable, Cos was thinking, which made me snort.

I leaned in and booped his nose. “You are adorable. So stinkin’ adorable.”

He huffed and rolled his eyes with a grumble before closing them and continuing his sunbathing nap.

I kissed the top of his head, and he nuzzled my leg a little but didn’t fully wake up, so I glanced around the yard. Ash was on Charlie’s back—in his lion form—and I couldn’t decide if he looked ridiculous or if that actually looked like fun. I was sure Cos would take me for a lion ride if I asked him to, but… it did sort of look ridiculous. But possibly tempting.

I would absolutely feel like an idiot if Cos carried me around like that, but it could be entertaining. Sort of like horseback riding—something I’d never done but always wanted to because, well, horses—but without a saddle. And on a lion. Who happened to be my mate.

Yeah, not sure I would actually do it, but maybe if we snuck out of the house in the middle of the night and no one else was around… then maybe.

Haiden, Teo, and Elzanna were in their tiger forms wrestling and rolling all over the ground with Tater Tot running around them and barking at them with his tail wagging a million miles a minute. Zara and Luce were chasing Dare around the yard, which made me grin. Sometimes they liked to gang up on one of their brothers and pounce on them. It was kind of hilarious to watch.

Harriet and Lilibeth were sitting on a blanket near the pool fence with Kealoha in his tiger form, climbing on them like they were jungle gyms. Eva was in her mountain lion form sunbathing close by but letting the other two adults watch the toddler. Lilibeth was giggling at his antics, and I smiled at that, too. I was so happy she was starting to become more comfortable with our family. I was glad we made her feel safe here.

Jude, Kulani, and River were in the far corner of the yard on another blanket. Both shifters were in their cat forms, and Kulani kept rubbing against Jude and giving him nuzzles hard enough to knock him over even though he was already sitting. River was lounging beside Jude with their head in his lap. I heard them give a little growl of annoyance at Kulani when he almost knocked Jude over again. My dyad was laughing and talking to them like they were holding an actual conversation… just the way I did with Cos all the time when he was in his lion form.

And Wren and Logan were in a different corner of the yard, far away from everyone else. They were working on a new weave, one Logan wanted to test on taragorians to try and send them back through the veil. He’d been working on it—and several other ideas—every free moment he had.

He’d explained his ideas to me a few times, and Wren had been helping him a lot, so I wasn’t surprised that was what they were doing today. Logan’s theories sounded good, but I wasn’t sure if any of them would work.

But I guess the only way we’d know was if we gave them a try.

Obviously, we couldn’t try them here because there wasn’t a tear or a taragorian, but it was a good idea to work on the weaves themselves now before trying them on a live animal.

I winced at the thought because I so didn’t want things to go badly for Logan and his spell.

“Cos?”

He opened his eyes to stare at me.

I hesitated because I didn’t want to be away from him for even a minute, but Logan and Wren probably needed my help. “I think I should go check on Logan and Wren. See how they’re doing with the new spell.”

He huffed but stood and nuzzled into my chest before shaking himself out and stretching his very long body. He lifted each leg for a stretch, and I grinned because I swore it looked like he was doing big cat yoga or something.

He shot me a glare, clearly figuring out exactly what and why I found it amusing.

I snickered and bent down to kiss his cute head again. “I think it’s cute.”

He let out an annoyed growl that made me laugh again, and I gave him one more pet along his floof and a kiss before I headed over to Lo and Wren. I glanced over my shoulder to find Cos joining his sisters in their Dare chase. It made me snort.

“How’s it going?” I asked them when I was close enough.

Wren shot me a small grin. “I think it’s going well, but Lo doesn’t seem to think so.”

Logan sighed. “I just think I’m missing something important, and it’s really frustrating that I can’t test it out to see what’ll work.”

I nodded. “I can see that. What if we come up with a couple different things to try, and next week when we go on a breach, we can test them all out. That’ll give us something to work with at least.”

Logan blanched. “I don’t want to test things out on taragorians and have them… get burned by the tear. I… I know we have to kill them anyway, but I don’t want them to suffer like that. Burns are… really fucking painful.”

Because I just had to, I stepped close, put my arm around his shoulders, pulled him down, and kissed his temple. The sound of Logan’s scream of agony when he was pushed into the veil tear was something that I’d never forget. Just another thing that haunted my nightmares sometimes.

Logan side-hugged me back before pulling away.

Wren said, “What if we test it on something else? Something that’s not living?”

Logan blinked at them. “Wren, you’re a genius. I mean, duh, why didn’t we think of this before? That’s a great idea!”

I nodded in agreement. “I like that plan, but what should we use?”

Wren shrugged. “I have no idea. Maybe something small that won’t mess with the taragorians’ environment if it makes it across?”

The three of us thought about it for a few minutes before I said, “What about a piece of paper? We can even cut it into smaller pieces. We just need to see if it gets burned or if it pushes through, right? And paper will break down eventually but shouldn’t mess with the environment like sending a flower or something else through could.”

Logan nodded. “That’s better than using something plastic, which is what I was thinking… like a toy or something or even a plastic fork.”

I snorted at that, picturing a random plastic fork on the ground with a group of taragorians surrounding it, staring at it and wondering what it was and where it came from. Ridiculous.

“Alright. Paper it is.”

“Does that make you feel better about everything?” Wren asked after a few seconds.

Logan smiled at them. “It really does.”

“Good.”

I said, “Then show me what you got.”

The two of them showed me their ideas, and I made a few suggestions, so the three of us stood there working on the spells for at least ninety minutes, if not longer.

Finally, when Logan seemed calmer and happier with our plan, I turned to Wren and asked, “Soooo… how’s Griffin?”

Wren snorted and rolled their eyes at me. “He’s good.”

I waited a beat, then two, and when they didn’t say anything else, I groaned. “Oh, come on. You gotta give me more than that.”

They chuckled, and when their smiling eyes met mine, I couldn’t help but compare the kid before me to the one I met years ago when they’d been forced to join the TRD at such a young age. They’d been terrified, inexperienced, shy and so, so, so young.

And now they were this brave, confident kid. This happy kid.

They hadn’t been happy before. Not even close.

But after living with us for a few months and feeling safe for the first time in their life, they were truly happy. They were free.

Without warning, I launched myself at Wren, wrapping them in my arms in a tight hug. They made a shocked noise, a sort of gasping yelp, but after only a brief second, they hugged me back.

Before I realized what I was doing, I found myself rubbing my cheek along their hair. I froze. Was I… was I scenting them? When the hell had I become a shifter? Why the hell was I scenting them?

Shaking off that weirdness and pretending I hadn’t done it, I whispered, “You know I love you, right, young kin?”

Wren gave me a squeeze. “Yeah, I do.” They cleared their throat. “I love you, too.”

That made me smile.

When I still hadn’t let go, Wren asked, “Um… what’s wrong? You okay?”

I nodded. “Yeah, just… realized how much you’ve grown up and needed to hug you.”

They chuckled and patted my back. “I kinda like hugs now.” Now. I knew exactly what they meant. Before the Ono-Nais, hugs were rare from anyone other than Jude. Back at the compound, no one hugged anyone else. At least not unless they could do it in hiding where the guards wouldn’t see them, where they wouldn’t be punished for it.

But… I didn’t want to think about that or why Wren had been afraid of touch before living with us.

Nope. Not thinking about that at all.

“Me, too.” I gave them one last squeeze before releasing them and giving their temple a kiss. I hadn’t been that affectionate with Wren before, but I thought that needed to change. From the look on their face, they’d needed that hug as much as I did. So… I guess I’d be hugging them whenever I could from now on.

I gave Wren a side-hug before turning to Logan.

Lo gave me a look before he held his hands up in surrender and backed up a step. “Nope. I don’t need to be tackled by you.”

I snorted, and since I could tell he was only kidding, I stepped forward and gave him a hug, too. I didn’t hold him as long as I’d held Wren, but I did end up rubbing my cheek against his hair like I’d suddenly become a cat, and when I pulled away, I kissed his head.

After I released him, I turned back to Wren. “Don’t think you’re getting out of talking about Griffin.”

“Damn. I thought you’d forgotten.”

“You can’t distract me that easily.”

They grinned at me. “Griff is great, Mads. I really like him, and he’s been… super sweet. He wants to take me on another date next weekend, and I said yes. He’s made time to see me a lot since my party. I really, really like him.”

I smiled at them. “I’m happy for you. As long as he’s treating you good.”

They rolled their eyes. “Trust me, I’m not going to date someone who treats me like crap. I… I see how you guys all are with your mates. I know what a healthy relationship looks like, and I’m going to make sure I have one.”

I grinned and gave the back of their neck a squeeze—just like Cos always did to his shifters. Oh my goddess, it was like I was changing into a shifter suddenly. What the hell?

Maybe this was part of the tying bond? Weird.

Wren surprised me by giving me a quick hug, then pushing me away. “Okay, enough with the hugging and mushiness. We’re here to help Logan.”

Logan said, “Oh no. I’m really enjoying”—he waved his hand at Wren and me—“all of this. It’s like the Mads and Wren show. I love it.”

I flipped him off, and he laughed and gave Wren and me each a little push on the shoulder. Wren was laughing, too, and it made my grin grow.

Then I clapped my hands and said, “Alright, let’s practice these spells a few more times to make sure we have them down. When we try them with a tear, we’re going to have to move quick. We don’t want to keep a tear open any longer than we have to, otherwise more taragorians will come through, and that’s the last thing we need.”

They both gave me nods, and Lo said, “Right. Let’s do this.”