Chapter 10

By the time we got home, I was a wreck. We all were, but I felt more out of sorts than usual because my magic was… unsettled.

It was pissed that Anderson had gotten away.

And why I suddenly felt like my magic had a mind of its own, I couldn’t tell you, but I could guess. That stupid freaking promise. Goddess, it was really coming back to bite me in the bum big time.

“What’s going on with you?” Cos asked me when we made it up to our bedroom to change into pajamas after brushing our teeth—twice.

“I don’t know. I feel like I’m going to come out of my skin.”

Cos stared at me for a few seconds, his eyes scanning me up and down. Finally, he said, “Do you feel like you need to release more magic or do you think you need one of those magic depletion concoctions?”

I wrinkled my nose in disgust. The last thing I needed after puking so much today was something that tasted that foul and would make my stomach turn even more. “I need to release my magic.”

I honestly hadn’t realized that was the problem until he’d asked. I couldn’t remember a time when this was a problem, not even when I was a little kid. But now that he’d said it, releasing some magic sounded like the thing to do.

He gave me a nod, grabbed my hand, and tugged me back out the door. He quickly pulled me through the house and out into our back yard, then gestured to the open space, saying, “Okay. Let your magic go. Do what you need to do to feel better.”

I glanced around at the open space. I had no idea what I needed to do or what spells to use since this wasn’t a thing I’d done in the past, but I still said, “Can you go stand over by the fire pit?”

Cos stepped closer and kissed my temple, mumbling, “Of course.” Then he moved back, turned one of the fire pit chairs around to face me, and sat down.

With him out of the way so he wouldn’t get hurt, I closed my eyes and just… let my magic go. Since Jude wasn’t standing here with me, it didn’t really have any direction or any activated runes, but it didn’t seem like it really needed any. Not with the way my magic felt right now.

Power built up in my chest, and it reminded me of how I felt every time I blasted out of that tiny closet at the compound when they used to separate me from Jude. I glanced over my shoulder to make sure Cos was back far enough, and when it seemed like he was, I released everything that’d been building up.

I shouted as a blast came out of me, and it was so powerful that I could hear the trees all the way across the yard moving and swaying from the energy passing through them. I did it again and again and again.

The release felt rough and possibly a little scary, but it also felt… freeing.

And then finally, it no longer felt like I was coming out of my skin.

“Mads?” Cos asked after I was quiet for a while.

I waved him over, and he came to me immediately, without hesitation, and pulled me into another one of his amazing hugs. I sagged into him, completely drained.

My mate kissed my forehead. “Okay?”

I nodded. “Yeah… better.”

“Good, baby. That’s real good.” He nuzzled my hair and kissed my temple and rubbed my back as I leaned my full weight on him, at ease with letting him hold me up.

A long time passed before I took a breath and pushed off of him, glancing around. I winced when I saw the singed grass, but it didn’t look too bad all around, so I’d take it. I’d purposefully tried to aim the blast up into the sky so it wouldn’t hit anything important.

Turning back to Cos, I looked up into his eyes and softly said, “Thank you.” I put my fingers over his mouth before he could protest and tell me I didn’t need to thank him. “Seriously, kitty cat. Just… let me say thank you.”

His eyes flicked back and forth as they searched mine, then he gave a single nod. He kissed my fingertips before pulling them away and leaning down to kiss my lips. Then he wrapped his arm around my shoulders and led me back into the house where dinner would be ready any minute.

“Let me know if you feel like you need to do that again,” he murmured before we entered.

“I will.” I leaned up and kissed his jaw—since I couldn’t reach his cheek—before heading inside to our pride.

Hopefully this was just a one-time thing.

Hopefully we’d get Anderson soon so I wouldn’t have to worry about how strange my magic was acting.

After the mall attack,Cos went to Director Dipshit to talk about assigning us weapons and gear to keep at home. I wasn’t thrilled with that idea with the kids in the house, but Cos assured me we’d take every precaution possible if the NHSO allowed it.

He’d been arranging things in that regard when our HID alarms went off.

Another day, another breach. Goddess, how I hated how often the veil was tearing lately.

We arrived at the breach location—the middle of a parking lot of a popular hotel—and I let out a small groan. Of course there couldn’t be only one tear here. There had to be two. One on each end of the parking lot. Great.

As soon as everyone was out of the truck, I covered us all with a shield while we took everything in and got a better look at the situation. From where I stood, I could see seven taragorians already. Ugh.

Without waiting for the shifters to decide who was taking care of which beasts, Ash, Logan, Wren, and I started catching the taragorians with our shields. As soon as they were caught and no longer an immediate threat, I began weaving together a tear-closing spell.

Jude said, “Wren and Ash, take that one.” He pointed to the one behind me. “Lo and Mads, that one.”

I pushed my weave onto the bottom of the tear he’d pointed out and started pushing the ends together while Logan did the same at the top of the tear.

I opened my shield to let the shifters pass through and let Jude count down the release of a shield while I continued to push the damn tear together.

Just as Lo and I got ours closed, Wren suddenly made a strangled sound, and I turned to make sure they were okay. “Wren?”

They sucked in a breath, and when they looked at me, I could see tears in their eyes, immediately setting off alarm bells. “Mads… there’s babies.”

My eyes widened at that, then turned around to see what the hell they were pointing at. I blinked. What the…

Holy crap on a cracker.

Right near the tear Wren and Ash were trying to close were two very small taragorians. So small and… underdeveloped that I had no doubt Wren was right. Those were babies. And if the very angry taragorian standing over the top of them was any indication, I’d say that was their mama.

What. The. Ever. Living. Fuck.

“But… I’ve never seen baby ones,” I said stupidly, like saying it out loud might change what I was seeing in front of me.

Logan, who’d turned to see what we were gawking at, said, “I didn’t think they ever crossed over. How… why…? Oh, goddess, Mads, we’re going to have to… kill them.” He whispered the last two words like the taragorian babies might overhear him and understand what we were saying.

“Oh, goddess,” Wren breathed out, obviously hearing Logan. They were turning green around the gills.

Jude glanced over at the babies and blanched before he spoke to Cos on the HID. They were discussing canvassing the area, but I wasn’t paying much attention to them at the moment.

I couldn’t, not with Logan and Wren looking at me with those horrified and sad expressions on their faces.

I winced. “I… let me put a shield over them, okay?” I didn’t want Logan or Wren to have to do it or have anything to do with killing them. I mean, I didn’t want anyone on my team or Simon’s to have to, but… unfortunately, someone was going to have to.

For once, Logan didn’t argue with me and tell me he knew how to do his job. So I quickly weaved a shield and placed it over the top of the two babies and the mama beastie. Seeing it made my chest tight.

“Fuck,” Lo breathed out. “Isn’t there something we can do? Somewhere we can put them or something?”

I cringed. “Ce’oso, you know there isn’t.”

Wren whispered, “There’s gotta be something.”

Ash finally turned around after closing the other tear and met my gaze, and I saw how heartbroken he was. Heartbroken and resigned.

I didn’t want him to have anything to do with… taking care of the babies, so I said to the three of them, “We can’t push them back through the veil, and we have nothing to detain them with. They can get out of any cage we build. Plus… what would we feed them? Human bits?”

Logan wrinkled his nose in disgust. “Ew, Mads.”

I shrugged. “I’m sorry. I know it’s gross, but I wanted you to see what I meant. We can’t keep a taragorian alive unless we… let it out into a populated area. The fact is, those two babies will grow up to become adults just as fierce as their mother over there. The only thing we can do is put them down now before anyone gets hurt.” I sounded like a heartless prickhole, and I hated every word coming out of my mouth, but… it was the truth. And if I let my emotions out now, I wouldn’t be able to do what needed to be done.

Logan swallowed thickly. “That’s like killing someone before they even commit a crime.”

I blew out a slow breath. “I know, and I agree. But what other choice do we have?”

I heard him mutter under his breath, but I couldn’t understand him. I thought he said something about pushing them back through the tear, but I knew that wasn’t right because Logan knew how impossible that was. I mean, didn’t he remember how the tear had burned up his arm? How could he possibly think we could push taragorians through it without burning them up, too?

I wished we could. I hated having to kill the beasts, whether they were big or small. I wished there was a way to save them.

But there wasn’t.

So this was what we were tasked with.

I scooted over to bump shoulders with Jude. He was too busy coordinating with the shifters to talk to us at the moment, but he knew what was going on and was filled with as much sadness as I was.

I’d stay strong now, while it was going on—I had to. But I had no doubt that it would hit me later tonight, and I’d grieve those poor little babies who looked cute even though I thought taragorians were kind of gross.

After taking a fortifying breath to steel myself against this, I said to my teammates into my HID, “There are baby taragorians near the hotel entrance. I know you’re still working on one of the beasts, but I wanted to make sure you were aware.”

Zara’s voice came through first. “A baby? I didn’t think they could cross over?”

I shrugged even though she couldn’t see me. “It’s two babies. And I didn’t think they could, either, but they’re here now, and we have to take care of them.” I felt gross even saying the words.

Jude spoke into his HID, but I could hear him fine from beside me. “Why don’t you finish with the last two on that side of the parking lot? Mads has the babies secured, so we don’t have to worry about them right now. Focus on what you’re doing. Please.”

Since I didn’t want to distract them any more than I already had, I kept my mouth shut and concentrated on my team and making sure they were as safe as I could make them.

Both my team and Simon’s avoided the baby taragorians until there weren’t any others left to take care of. I separated the mother from the babies, and I couldn’t help tears filling my eyes at her anguished screams. It was… horrible and like nothing I’d ever heard. We were torturing her in the worst way possible, and even though I felt like such an awful person for thinking it, I was grateful when Simon’s team finished her off so we didn’t have to hear her cries anymore.

Logan had his arm around Wren, both of them crying, and Ash had tears in his eyes as he came to stand beside me. Jude nudged my shoulder with his arm but stepped forward to put one hand on Logan’s shoulder and one on Wren’s. I tugged Ash over so I could press against Jude and Logan’s sides, then put my arm around Ash and hugged him to me.

The babies, who were crying sorrowfully, needed to be separated from one another, so I had to manipulate my shield around them. And then I stood there and watched as Simon held the first one’s small horns, keeping it still with a knee on its back. It was small enough that he could hold it by himself, and I knew he was trying to save the others from the pain of doing it.

And then I gasped when it was Kulani who stepped forward and sliced its neck.

I wrapped my free arm around Jude’s back when he made a small whimpering sound. I could imagine he was feeling all of Kulani’s emotions through their tied bond.

And then Simon and Kulani, who had clearly stepped up so no one else had to, repeated the same thing with the second baby taragorian.

As soon as they were done, I dropped my shield from around us, and Jude ran for his mate and pulled him in, not caring about the blood and gore all over him. Kulani fell into Jude’s arms, and I heard quiet crying as he buried his face in my dyad’s chest.

By the time I looked for Simon, he was already squished between Alvin and Yasmin with his other pride mates hovering around him. From the shake in Simon’s shoulders, I thought he was crying, too. For some reason, that surprised me. And then I was surprised by my surprise. After working with the man for years, I should’ve known he’d be as affected by this as my pride was.

Everyone was quiet and somber as we climbed into the truck.

I glanced over to see Charlie holding Ash and Wren close as they climbed into Harriet and Simon’s truck, and I was relieved the three of them were leaning on each other.

Jude climbed into the back of the truck, keeping Kulani in his arms. After I checked that everyone else had someone to hold on to, I hesitated for a moment, unsure of where to go. Logan had Haiden, and Zara and Dare were comforting each other and checking on the younger pride members.

And that left Cos sitting by himself in the front since Jude wasn’t up there. Cos might not have been the one who’d taken out those taragorians, but he felt the pang as if he had. So I slid into the front passenger’s seat, and then I slid all the way over along the bench seat until I was pressed into Cosmo’s side.

He didn’t hesitate to wrap an arm around me, and I turned into him, tucking my face against his neck and breathing him in.

“It was the only thing we could do,” he whispered into my ear, and that broke me.

Tears fell freely down my face, and I clung to my mate, holding onto him as tight as I dared.

We were supposed to head back to the office as soon as we were done with a breach, but no one on our team or Harriet’s tried to rush anyone. All of us took comfort in each other for a long time before we made our way back to HQ.

We were quiet and somber for the rest of the day, and Kulani was… out of sorts, understandably. Everyone made sure to give him hugs or nuzzles throughout the rest of our shift, and when we got home that night, Kulani disappeared with River and Jude into their room and didn’t come back out.

Cos and I finished making the dinner River had started, and I noticed that everyone on our TRD team kept close to each other and seemed to need extra comfort all night.

I knew I sure as hell did.

Later that night,I woke up and immediately knew Jude was awake, too. I checked on Cos, saw that he was still sound asleep, kissed his temple, and slid out of bed. Cos grumbled behind me but didn’t wake up, so I quietly slipped out of the room.

I thought Jude would’ve been in his bedroom, but I felt him downstairs, so I followed our bond until I found him in the kitchen.

Without turning around, he said, “Hey. Did I wake you?”

“Not sure if it was you or not, but it’s fine.” I wanted to assure him it hadn’t been him, but I also wasn’t about to lie to my dyad. He’d know I was lying, anyway. “How’s Kulani?”

He sighed. “He’s alright. He slept for a little while but woke up with a nightmare, so I’m getting him some water and snacks.”

I walked over to him and wrapped my arms around him from the side. Jude draped his arm across my back and pulled me in tight.

“I’m sorry he had to do that,” I whispered. “So freaking sorry.”

Jude kissed my hair. “Yeah, me, too. That was so fucking awful.”

“It really was.”

“I don’t know how to make this better for him.”

“You’re already helping, Judikans. Just being there for him, holding him, getting him drinks and snacks, all of that is helping.”

He took a shuddered breath and nodded, but since he was on the verge of crying, I tugged him into a full hug and tucked his head on my shoulder. He let out another shaky breath and clung to me for a long, long time while I rubbed his back, held him tight, and whispered reassurances to him.

I wished I could just wrap him up in my hug forever and keep him safe from anything that might hurt him or his mates. But I couldn’t, so I offered what comfort I could.

Eventually, he pulled back, kissed my forehead, and whispered, “Thank you, bubba.”

“Anytime. I love you.”

“Love you, too.” He took a deep breath and blew it out slowly. “Okay. Let me get this back up there before I worry Riv and K that I’m taking too long when we should be taking care of him.”

I nodded. “Need any help? Do you guys want company or do you think K just wants you and Riv tonight?”

“I think he just wants us, but I’ll let you know if that changes.”

I stared at him for a few beats. “What about you? Are you okay with that? Do you want me to come in?”

He sent me a small smile. “I’m fine. Your hug was perfect.”

I rolled my eyes and gave his arm a squeeze. “Alright, fine. But let me know if you guys want us, okay? You know Cos will jump at the chance to use all his alpha-ness and comfort Kulani.”

He snorted. “I definitely know that.”

We shared a grin. I nudged him affectionately with my shoulder before he grabbed his tray, and we headed back upstairs together.

Before we parted in the hallway, he said, “Thanks, Mads.”

I rolled my eyes again. “Don’t thank me, you jerkhat.”

He snickered, and we headed our separate ways to our rooms with our mates. Sometimes it still felt weird going in a different direction as my dyad, but it wasn’t necessarily a bad kind of weird. It was… different. But good. I was grateful every day that my dyad had found his mates, just as I was grateful I’d found mine.

When I climbed back into bed, Cos pulled me into his arms and asked in a sleepy voice, “Is Jude okay?”

I smiled at that, happy he knew exactly what I’d been doing. “Yeah, he’s alright. K’s having a rough night, but Jude and River have him. They’ll let us know if he needs us.”

“Good.” He nuzzled into the back of my neck. “I wish he’d let us help him more.”

“Me, too. But at least he has his mates with him.”

Cos nodded. “Yeah… he’ll be okay.” He let out a big yawn. “Wake me up if you need me, baby.”

I patted his hand and snuggled my back into his chest further. “I will.”

“Love you.”

“Love you, too. Go to sleep, kitty cat.”

I got a yawn in response, and we both chuckled as we settled down. Cos fell back asleep only a moment later, and I sent a rush of affection to both Cos and Jude before letting my eyes fall closed. Right before sleep overtook me, I felt Jude’s returning affection followed by Cosmo’s, and I couldn’t help but smile that my dyad cared to do that when he was busy with his own mates, and that my mate had somehow managed to respond that way even in his sleep.