Chapter Twenty

S arah smiled at the eldest of her charges, a fourteen-year-old girl who had impeccable manners, but underneath it all a wicked sense of humour. It had been difficult leaving London, and she wondered if her heart would ever recover, but being out here in the middle of the beautiful Kent countryside with the Huntley family was as soothing a place to rest and recuperate as she could hope for.

Her duties were not arduous. There were three Huntley children: Elizabeth, the oldest at fourteen, Georgina who was ten and little Annabelle who was only six. All three girls were keen musicians, and it was a pleasure to teach them. What was more, she did not have to wrangle all three at a time. The mornings were spent with the girls alternating through their other lessons and spending time with Sarah at the piano. In the afternoons they would come together to sing as Sarah took them through their scales, teaching them techniques to make their voices stronger and more harmonious.

She had been warned about the perils of living and working in someone else’s home, but her experience so far with the Huntley family was relatively painless. Her room was spacious and decently furnished at the top of the house, close to the nursery. It had lovely views out over the parkland, and every morning Sarah rose early and watched the deer frolic on the lawn in the early morning light.

She took her meals with Miss Wilson, the governess, and Mrs Renley, the housekeeper, and both were kind and friendly people. All in all, she could not ask for a better position. Every day she reminded herself to be thankful for what she had.

‘That is beautiful, Elizabeth,’ she said as her young charge finished the piece. ‘Just be a little careful of the timing in the middle section. Don’t rush it—this piece is made to be savoured, so linger over every note.’ She pointed out the part she was talking about and played it to the young girl. ‘Now you try.’

It was perfect the second time, and Sarah heaped praise on her pupil. Elizabeth in particular was talented as well as studious, never shying away from time at the piano.

‘Shall we play it again, or would you like to move on to something else?’

‘Can I play it again?’

‘Of course. I could listen to you play this all day.’

Sarah sat back, allowing Elizabeth to get herself set up and position her fingers on the piano keys. She had only just started when the door burst open and little Annabelle ran into the room.

‘There’s a carriage coming up the drive and Mama says it belongs to one of the wealthiest men in England,’ she squealed in excitement.

Elizabeth stopped playing and stood, immediately crossing to the window with her little sister. It was an idyllic life here in the Kent countryside, but Sarah got the impression the girls were a little starved of company their own age. She did not chastise Elizabeth for getting distracted from her music lesson, as she too wished to see who was visiting.

Sarah frowned as she recognised the gold crest on the side of the smartly painted black carriage. She blushed as she remembered the intimate moment she had shared with Henry inside that very carriage, when they had been unable to keep their hands off one another, despite knowing nothing could happen.

‘It’s Lord Shrewsbury’s carriage,’ Sarah murmured.

‘You know Lord Shrewsbury?’ Mrs Huntley said as she walked into the room, joining her daughters at the window as the carriage rolled to a stop.

Sarah cleared her throat before speaking, worried her voice might betray her emotion.

‘I had the pleasure of making his acquaintance whilst I was in London. He was very kind.’

Mrs Huntley raised an eyebrow but said no more.

‘Come away from the window, girls,’ she ordered, not wanting to be caught gawping by whoever stepped out. Elizabeth complied but Annabelle lingered, pressing her face against the glass.

Sarah watched, not daring to breathe as the carriage door opened and a young girl stepped out. Immediately she knew who it was—the family resemblance was uncanny, and she could have easily picked out Henry’s little sister from a room full of girls of a similar age.

Her heart began beating faster in her chest as Henry hopped down from the carriage, looking up at the house. A beam of sunlight illuminated his face, and for a moment he looked like one of the Greek gods from ancient legend.

She must have made a little strangled noise, for suddenly everyone was looking at her.

‘That is Lord Routledge,’ Mrs Huntley said, her eyes narrowing ever so slightly. ‘You know Lord Routledge, too, Miss Shepherd?’

‘He is a recent acquaintance.’

‘You are extraordinarily well connected for a music teacher.’

Sarah lowered her eyes and tried to stop her heart from thumping so hard that it exploded out of her chest. There was no good reason for Henry to be visiting the Huntleys. He did not know them, and they clearly were not expecting him.

This past week she had tried not to think of him. She was aware she needed to let her heart heal, but that would be impossible if she kept dwelling on every moment of their relationship.

‘He didn’t choose you,’ she told herself quietly. She didn’t harbour any ill will towards him, and in fact she probably respected him more for choosing to rescue his sister. Sarah had never been in danger, she had a life to go to, a future waiting for her. Sophia was a child—she needed to be put first.

Yet, after all they had been through, Sarah had panicked, feeling as though he was pushing her aside. Never would she be the most important thing in his life. She’d wondered if that was how her mother had felt when her father had announced his intention to terminate their relationship. That sense of loss, but alongside it the feeling of helplessness. She had not liked being without any power. That was why she had left London. She had been desperate to grab control of her own destiny again, rather than waiting—pining—for the man she loved who might never be coming back.

They all remained silent, straining to hear as Lord Routledge was admitted to the drawing room with his sister. The minutes ticked by. No one even pretended to do anything constructive, instead straining to hear the conversation from the room on the other side of the hall.

‘Lord Routledge is here,’ Mr Huntley said, looking puzzled as he entered the room a few minutes later. ‘He has begged my indulgence in giving him a few minutes to speak with Miss Shepherd.’

All eyes turned to Sarah, and she felt her hand begin to shake. Quickly she buried them in the folds of her dress.

‘Do you wish to speak to him?’ Mrs Huntley asked.

Sarah nodded, rising from her seat. As she entered the drawing room she had the urge to run to him, to throw her arms around his neck and lose herself in his kiss. Of course that was not possible, not after everything that had happened between them, and certainly not with her employer looking on curiously.

‘Miss Shepherd,’ Lord Routledge said, breaking out into a smile. ‘It is very good to see you again.’

‘And you, my lord.’

‘I do not think you have met my sister while in London, this is Lady Sophia.’

‘It is a pleasure to meet you, Lady Sophia.’

The young girl crossed the space between them and gripped Sarah’s hand. ‘My brother has told me ever so much about you. I know we are going to be firm friends.’

Sarah managed a smile but felt her world tilt and rock. She did not know why Henry was here. She wouldn’t put it past him to come and check she was settled in her new position, to assure her everything in London was fine, and to quietly enquire if she’d had her monthly bleed yet. However they had left their relationship, he would not shirk his responsibilities.

‘I know it is a little unusual, but Miss Shepherd and I have something of great importance we wish to discuss. Might you spare her for ten minutes? We could take a stroll in the gardens.’

‘Of course,’ Mr Huntley said amiably.

‘Perhaps, Lady Sophia, you would like to join my daughters and I for some refreshment,’ Mrs Huntley said, eyeing the pretty young woman. Sophia was the daughter of an Earl, and it was never too early to start cultivating connections in society.

‘That sounds wonderful, thank you.’

A few minutes later Sarah and Henry were alone, although careful to keep within view of the house. Sarah walked with her head bowed, unable to believe Henry was here, but struggling to know what to expect from this meeting.

‘I hoped to catch you before you left London,’ Henry said as they strolled through the rose garden. There were a dozen different varieties laid out in neat beds, all in bloom. Bees buzzed around, darting from flower to flower, and the air was sweet with the scent of flowers.

‘I did not linger,’ she shrugged, ‘there was no reason for me to.’

‘A lot happened that night. I am still reeling from it.’

She inclined her head, unable to look at him. Inside she was a horrible mix of anxious and hopeful, although she would never admit the latter to herself.

He told her of the late evening trip to his father’s house and how he had taken inspiration from her, climbing in through an open upstairs window. He explained how he had spoken to Sophia and realised he could not leave her there, under the control of their father.

She gasped when he told her of the moment Sophia had revealed what she’d overheard about the fire, gripping his arm.

‘Your father arranged to have your wife killed? Henry I am so sorry.’

‘I believe he did not know Anne was going to be in the house when it was set alight. His primary aim was to take my home from me, and my source of income. I told you before, he hated that I was not reliant on him for money, and although my income was modest, I was making enough to provide Anne and I with a basic but decent quality of life.’ He grimaced and shook his head. ‘I have to believe he did not order the man who set the fire to kill Anne on purpose. I do not know if I could bear to be related to such a monster.’

‘It is such a tragedy.’

‘At the time he was shocked that Sophia knew so much, and it allowed us to escape without too much fuss.’

‘Surely he would do anything to keep this quiet.’

‘My father does not like to lose. I am sure he is getting his affairs in order to mount an attack, but I have been busy too. I have found the man who my father paid to set the fire. He was wracked with guilt. It did not take much to get him to sign a sworn statement in the presence of a solicitor about what he did, and my father’s role in it.’

‘If he is arrested, he will hang.’

‘I can be very persuasive, and I promised to keep everything anonymised, although I do of course know the man’s name.’ He pulled a face. ‘And as grateful as I am for his sworn statement, the fact is that he did set the fire that killed Anne. As such, I am not overly invested in his fate.’

‘I am sorry you have had to deal with all of this.’

‘I am taking Sophia away for a while. The more physical distance there is between our father and us, the less he can do to us.’

‘That sounds very sensible,’ Sarah said, trying to stop the words from sticking in her throat. So that was why he was here. To say goodbye.

‘I wanted to apologise, Sarah.’

‘Thank you. Your apology is accepted.’

He raised an eyebrow. ‘I have not made it yet.’

She waved a dismissive hand. ‘I understand, Henry. What else could you have done? Your sister was in danger, and I am glad you chose to help her. I would not have wanted you to choose differently.’

‘That is one of the many reasons that I love you,’ he said quietly.

Sarah’s eyes snapped up.

‘When I was standing in the hall of One Grosvenor Square, facing my father, I realised that over the last two years I have been stumbling, as if I was in a dream. Every decision I had to make I chose the easiest path, because I had no more fight left in me. When you came along, you showed me what I was missing, and what sort of life I could lose if I continued down the route of least resistance. I saw that my father had worn me down and wheedled his way into my life, when I should never have even considered allowing him close. When I was eighteen, I saw how malicious he was, and yet, at the age of thirty-two, I still needed you to remind me that I did not need to bow to his decisions.’

He took her hand in his and Sarah felt her pulse quicken. ‘You also showed me that I deserved love. I didn’t believe it, but you can be quite persuasive.’

‘You do deserve love. You deserve every happiness.’

He shook his head, his eyes searching hers.

‘I am sorry I did not handle things better. When my father gave me that impossible choice, after we spent the afternoon together, my head was spinning. I panicked, and I did not consider how it would feel to be abandoned after you had given me everything. Especially with the history of your mother and father. I know it meant it was an even bigger risk for you, that you worried about history repeating itself, and I did not reassure you as I should.’

‘Thank you,’ Sarah said. ‘I admit I was upset, although I could not put into words exactly why. I wanted you to go to your sister, to rescue her...’

‘But you also wanted me to choose you.’

‘Which was impossible. You couldn’t do both.’

‘Sometimes we want impossible things.’

‘I hold no grudge, Henry. I am just glad you see now that you know you are worthy of love, and that just because you were hurt once it does not mean you will be hurt again.’

He shook his head in wonder. ‘How was I so lucky to fall for you? I wronged you, hurt you, and yet here you are, wishing me nothing but good things.’

She gave a little half-smile. ‘That is what happens when you love someone. Even when you cannot be together you still want them to be happy.’

Henry felt his heart flip. She loved him. She still loved him. He could see the hurt in her eyes as he talked about the evening a week earlier, when he had been unable to assure her that, no matter what, they would be together.

He had known how important her virtue was to her, how she was afraid of ending up alone and abandoned as her mother had. Yet still he had not held her in his arms and promised her that he would find a way to be together. In that time of need he had disregarded her feelings and once again allowed himself to be sucked into his father’s trap.

No more.

Sarah looked well, although there was a definite hint of sadness about her. The Huntleys seemed good people, and he wondered if she would accept him or whether she would choose a simpler life here in Kent.

‘I need to ask you something,’ he said softly. ‘Please consider it before you give your answer.’

She regarded him cautiously, then nodded.

‘I know there are so many things I still need to work on. I know my feelings are influenced so much by past events, and sometimes I forget that the man I am now, the life I lead now, is very different to a few years ago.’

‘Henry, I...’

He pushed on quickly, not wanting to hear her say no, however gently. He needed her to hear everything he had to say.

‘I do not have a lot to offer you materially, but I have a little money. I plan to retire to the seaside for a while, somewhere outside of my father’s realm of influence. I thought I might start investing in some property again, renovating a few old buildings so they can be used as lodgings. After a few months of hard work it will give me a modest income, enough to support three if we live frugally.’ He glanced down at her belly. ‘Or even four.

‘I love you, Sarah. I love everything about you, and I know I have not been the easiest person to fall in love with, but I think you love me too.’

She searched his face, uncertainty clouding hers.

‘Marry me, Sarah.’

‘What about your reservations about marrying a woman of a different class?’

He shrugged. ‘I realised you were right, I cannot base all my future decisions on what happened in the past. Just because it did not work with Anne does not mean it will not work with you. You are an entirely different person. Anyway, a penniless Viscount and a successful music teacher are not so different in status. Marry me. I have been a fool, but you have opened my eyes. I love you, Sarah.’

It felt like the wait for her answer was never-ending, but finally she threw her arms around his neck and kissed him.

‘Does this mean you say yes?’

‘Yes. Yes, a thousand times. I do not know how this has happened, but I think I fell in love with you on that first evening we met in Lord Shrewsbury’s library. You were so patient and kind, and you were the first person who truly listened to what I had to say.’ She shook her head. ‘Although, back then, I never thought we would end up here.’

‘You do not mind marrying a destitute Viscount with a sister to care for?’

‘It will just make it all the more interesting,’ Sarah said.

He picked her up and spun her round, unable to quite believe she had said yes. He’d always known Sarah was reasonable and didn’t hold a grudge, but the hurt he had seen in her eyes—that evening after his father instructed him to marry the young Lady Isabelle—had been deep and all encompassing. He was grateful she could move past it, and see he cared for her with all his heart.

‘I will show you how much you mean to me each and every day,’ he murmured as he set her on the ground.

Then, amongst the sweet-smelling roses, he kissed the woman he was going to spend the rest of his life with.