Chapter 22

April 14, 1947

Today’s the day . . .

On my way downstairs,I felt really well or, at least I did, until Mother asked me to join them for breakfast.

I entered the dining room and could tell straightaway that something was wrong. JT wasn’t there, which meant he’d been told to eat in the kitchen.

“Who is this man you’ve been seen with?” Heck. So, Richard had been to see them.

I decided to be as honest as I could. “I have fallen in love with a good man, and he’s asked me to marry him.” I paused and looked up at them. “I’ve agreed. I love him with all my heart.”

Father looked ready to burst. “If he’s a good man, why hasn’t he been to ask me for your hand in marriage?” he roared.

“Because I asked him not to,” I said quietly. Father was such a snob.

“Why?” he sneered.

I took a deep breath. “Because Jacob doesn’t have a lot of money. He has an apprenticeship awaiting him in New York. I love him and want to be with him. I was afraid you wouldn’t understand, and that you would prevent me from seeing him.” The apprenticeship was in Boston, but that would be my secret for now.

“So, you keep saying you love him, yet you’re ashamed to bring him to meet your parents?” Father threw his napkin down on the table.

“I’m not ashamed. Frightened, yes, but never ashamed!” I exclaimed.

I was as stubborn as my father when I wanted to be, but I stopped short of admitting that I was ashamed of my parents and how snobby they were.

“Then prove that to me, bring him to dinner tonight.” Both Mother and I sat in shock.

“If you’re serious, then I will.”

“I’m serious. Seven this evening, we’ll meet this young man you say you love.” Father sneered.

I turned and stomped out of the house. I was halfway to work before I realized I hadn’t eaten breakfast. I felt slightly dizzy, so I stopped at Belle’s to buy a pastry, which I’d quickly eaten before I arrived at the library.

Brushing the crumbs from my blouse, I headed onto the library floor, where I slammed into Richard, who I ignored by walking around him.

He came after me.

“Rose, wait. I want to talk to you.” He grabbed hold of my arm.

“I have nothing to say to you. Please stop bothering me.” I tried to pull my arm free, but he was holding me too tight.

“You’re going to regret being with him. He’s not worth it. He can’t give you what I can.”

Anger and frustration filled me and all of it was for Richard. “I will say this for the last time. Leave. Me. Alone.” I stomped on his foot, and he released my arm. I hurried away, back to the desk. Mary gave me a quizzical look, but I ignored her and pretended to be sorting through some papers out on the desk. Richard left and I sagged against the desk in relief.

Not long after, Jacob appeared, I followed him behind the antiquated books.

He pulled me straight into his arms and hugged me really tight. I lifted my face for his kiss, and he didn’t disappoint me. “I love you. Are you sure about tonight?” he asked.

I took his face in my hands and pulled him down to me. “Yes. I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you.” I kissed him.

“Transport is arranged to get to Boston. Eleanor is really looking forward to having us both living with her.”

“I’m so excited, Jacob, but…I need you to come to dinner tonight.” He paused with his hand caressing my face. “Richard told my parents about us and what he’d seen. I told my father at breakfast that I love you and plan to marry you. So, my father told me to bring you to dinner tonight.”

“Then I’ll be there. What time?” he questioned.

“Seven sharp,” I whispered, the nerves eating away at me.

“Rose, everything will be fine and, if it isn’t, we can still slip away tonight, all right?”

“Yes.” I sighed.

We heard voices approaching so he placed a quick peck to my lips and headed out of the library.

How I managed to endure the rest of the day, I would never know. It was such a relief to be on my way home.

I’d just left town when I heard someone shouting my name. I looked behind me…Richard. “What do you want now?”

“I’m walking you home, and I plan on staying outside your house all evening to make sure you don’t go sneaking off with him.”

I glared, shocked. “Have you lost your mind?” He really was crazy.

“No, but you have, for dallying with him.”

“I’ll have you know that Father has invited Jacob to dinner. So, you see, I don’t need to sneak out because he will be eating with me and my family tonight.” I stomped off and left him as I reached my house.

I ran upstairs and looked out of the window on the landing only to see Richard still sitting at the end of the drive.

I really couldn’t believe he was doing this, to what gain, I had no idea. In my room, I quickly changed into a clean dress, rather than one that was rumpled from a day’s work. I brushed my hair and applied my lipstick.

As I ran downstairs, I was in time to watch Jacob walk up the porch steps. I spotted Mother and Father approaching from the parlor, so I ran and opened the door for him. It took all my strength to keep from throwing my arms around his neck.

“Rose.” He winked and grinned at me. I felt like melting into a puddle.

“Rose, are you going to invite the young man inside?” my father asked.

“Yes, of course,” I replied, grinning at Jacob. I took his hand and pulled him inside, then refused to release him.

“Mother, Father, I would like you to meet Jacob Evans.” Please let us get through this meal. Please accept him.

My parents were polite and shook his hand. Mother stared as we held hands. I loosened my hold slightly, but Jacob tightened his fingers, further intertwining them with mine.

We took our seats in the dining room and all was quiet. Too quiet.

“So, Jacob, Rose was telling us you have been offered an apprenticeship in New York.”

With a quick glance at me, he looked back at my father. “Yes, sir, I have. It’s with an engineering company. They pay very well.”

“Hmm, so what do you intend toward my daughter if you’re planning on leaving Cape Elizabeth?”

Jacob placed a hand on my leg underneath the table, knowing I was seconds away from saying something. “Rose has agreed to become my wife, so I’ll be taking her with me.”

Yes!

“That is enough. You are not going to be marrying my daughter because she is already spoken for.” My father’s face was red with anger.

I stood and faced my father. “No, I am not, and if you mean Richard, we have already had this discussion.”

“I forbid you to spend any more time with this man.”

Jacob stood and wrapped his arm around my shoulders, which, with my father in the room, wasn’t the wisest thing to do. “Don’t worry, Rose. I’m going to leave now, but please don’t worry,” he whispered into my ear. “I’ll go now.” He turned to me. “Remember, I love you, Rose.” He then walked out of the house, and I ran upstairs to my room, crying.

Although I knew what my father was like, I’d hoped he would accept Jacob, and all would be well. I was stupid to hope.

With my tears dried, I made sure my door was locked and then retrieved another travel bag before I packed my few remaining belongings. I came across the Our Gang comic, April 1st edition that I’d bought for JT. Father had refused to let him have it, so I had bought it for him to bribe him to keep quiet.

Taking out the photograph of myself and Jacob, I wrote on the back a small message to JT. I told him I loved him and wished I could take him to Boston with me. I also wrote the address of Jacob’s sister, in case he ever needed anything, and I begged him not to tell Mother and Father.

I placed the photograph in the middle of the comic, and then put it to one side, ready to leave on his bed.

Dressed in slacks and a warm sweater for traveling, I climbed onto my bed to rest before it was time for me to leave. I had started to become nervous about the whole thing. I had no doubt whatsoever that I loved Jacob and wanted this baby, his baby, our baby, but it was going to be stressful, doing what I was about to do.

I wondered what to do about my diary. Part of me wanted to take it with me, but another part wanted to leave this part of my life behind. I would have to leave it somewhere safe, where hopefully one day, someone would find it. Part of me hoped it was JT, but the other part hoped it was someone else. I wanted someone to know my story. Maybe they would be inclined to return the diary to me if I was still alive when it was found.

It was ten thirty. I climbed from my bed and collected my purse, bag, and JT’s comic, and then slipped quietly out of my room. I went into my brother’s room and watched him sleep for a minute before I had to leave. I placed the comic on his bed beside him, as my tears started to flow.

As I walked down the stairs to the kitchen, I’d decided to leave my diary on top of the kitchen cupboards. They were never cleaned so it could be a long time before it was discovered.

And this is where I write my final passage. Standing at the counter, gazing out at the dark garden beyond the window. Know that I loved you, sweet diary…you were the only confidant I had during all this time. I will miss you dearly but not as dearly as I will miss my JT.

Goodbye, diary.

This is the end of Rose Degan . . . and the beginning of Rose Evans . . .