Chapter 20

April 9, 1947

Jayne went out with Richard . . .

Today was a lovely,sunny day, and for the first time in a long time, I was actually looking forward to going to work, or I was, until Jayne called around to the house to walk to work with me.

She took a long look at me, and asked, “Why are you so grumpy this morning?”

“Work,” I replied. I thought it was better keeping to myself how much I was looking forward to walking to work on my own so I could get lost in my thoughts.

“I went out with Richard last night,” Jayne said so quickly that I almost didn’t catch what she’d said.

I raised my eyebrow when she stopped talking, waiting for her to tell me how it went. It wasn’t like Jayne to keep anything to herself, especially about her dates.

She sighed. “All he did was talk about you. He’s really angry that you refused his marriage proposal, and I think he only asked me out to try to make you jealous. When I told him it wouldn’t work, he declared it was time to take me home.”

I hadn’t been expecting that. I actually thought he only wanted to marry me because of his father, but perhaps that was what he wanted me to believe. I rubbed my temples, feeling really confused. “Jayne, I’m not interested in Richard. In fact, the last time I saw him, I told him I didn’t want to see him for a while. I was so angry with him for talking to Mother and Father.”

“Are you still seeing Jacob?” My silence spoke a thousand words. “Rose Degan, you have to stop right now. Your father will make your life miserable if he ever finds out.”

“I can’t stop seeing him. I’m in love with him,” I admitted, close to tears.

“Richard asked me last night if you were seeing someone else. I avoided the question, but it won’t be long until he finds out.” She saw the look on my face. “It won’t be from me, I promise you,” Jayne assured me.

She hugged me briefly before we parted outside of the library. She worked one block over from me and I watched her stroll down the street…another person I would miss when I left. I really hoped Richard didn’t cause any trouble. I only had five days left in Cape Elizabeth, and I really wanted them to go smoothly.

My parents had been leaving me alone, and I really hoped they continued to do so.

* * *

April 10, 1947

A strange day . . .

This morning upon waking,I had to run to the bathroom to be sick. Yuck. I ate dry toast and sipped on some water, which seemed to help some. With my stomach settled, I had a slow walk to work.

As soon as the library doors were unlocked, Richard had stalked in. He’d given me a glare before going to find whatever book he’d come in for. Soon after I noticed him about to leave, he’d stopped by the exit, his head turned toward me. He stared in anger, muttering to himself before he stormed out.

His behavior was odd. After what Jayne had told me yesterday, I still found it hard to believe. He’d seemed so genuine when he’d said it was his father making him ask me to marry him. Now I really didn’t know what to think.

“Rose, can you come into my office for a moment, please?” Mr. Young asked, taking my mind off Richard.

“Of course.” I followed him into the small box room that he called an office.

After he’d cleared his throat a few times—horrid—he looked at me. “Take a seat.” I sat down stiffly. “Rose, I’m afraid I have to cut your hours. The library isn’t as busy so I can’t justify having as many staff.” He sat staring at me.

I wasn’t sure what he wanted me to say. “From when are the new hours starting?” I inquired politely.

He seemed relieved. “From May 6th.”

I would be gone by then.

Only four more days to go. I felt so apprehensive, but excited, for my new life with Jacob.

Before going to bed, I’d played cards with JT, who was so infuriating. He cheated—all the time.

I really wished I could take my brother with me. I would miss him more than anyone.

* * *

April 11, 1947

A delightful discovery . . .

I wassick again this morning. Could I possibly be pregnant? I didn’t have any experience with this kind of thing and couldn’t exactly ask my mother. Heaven forbid. I had some toast for breakfast again, which seemed to help calm my stomach.

I was meeting Jacob this evening with some of my things. I loved him so much and couldn’t wait to see him. Before I left for work, I packed as much as I could into my travel bag, then stuffed it into the back of my wardrobe and prayed it wouldn’t be discovered while I was at work.

How I got through the day, I would never know. Mr. Young had a bee in his bonnet and did nothing but fuss the whole day. I actually felt like a wilted flower as I walked home. He had us running around, doing this, that, and the other. Nothing was right, and as soon it was time to close, Mary, Emma, and I, had stopped what we were doing, retrieved our jackets and purses, and left in haste.

Dinner with my parents was a silent affair. JT had been in trouble again. I’m not sure what he’d done this time, but no one spoke. It was pretty horrible really. Excusing myself, I dashed up to my room and retrieved my travel bag.

Luckily, my bedroom overlooked the back garden and Mother’s rose bushes, so I stuck my head out of the window to check that the coast was clear and dropped my bag. I prayed it didn’t land in the middle of the roses.

I slipped out of the house, having snuck down the kitchen stairs, and retrieved my bag. The roses were intact. Thank goodness.

I walked to the end of the drive and found Jacob there waiting for me. I dropped my bag to the ground and threw myself into his arms. “I’ve missed you,” I whispered.

His lips met mine. The kiss lingered. He tasted divine.

We breathed heavily when we finally parted, and Jacob took my hand while we walked into town. I should have been bothered about my parents seeing us, but I wasn’t. In town, Jacob pulled me into a photography studio.

“What are we doing in here?” I asked.

He smiled at me. “I want a photograph of us both. We’ll get two copies so you can give one to your brother.”

I had tears in my eyes as I followed the photographer through to the back of the shop. Jacob stood behind me with his hands wrapped around my waist. I cuddled into him as the photographer snapped our moment in time. The man used a Polaroid Land Camera, which he said he was testing for a friend before they became available to the public. It produced our photographs in minutes, like magic.

With two photographs safely in his pocket, we continued on to his apartment. Jacob placed my bag down by the side of the chair in the living room.

He turned, cupping my face between his warm palms. Firstly, he kissed the tip of my nose, then my eyes, and, finally, he kissed my waiting mouth.

“Make love with me.” I didn’t hesitate as I took him by the hand and led him into his bedroom.

He undressed me in slow, sweeping caresses and laid me on his bed, his eyes burned with desire. He started to remove his clothes, which I found delightful as I watched his muscular frame appear—he had an amazing body.

He laid down next to me as I rolled to my side. “I want to touch you,” I whispered softly.

He gulped. “I hope I survive.” He watched me through heavily lidded eyes as I sat up and smoothed my hands over his chest. I felt his eyes on me as I followed a path down to his ribs and then back up to the tight buds of his nipples. Leaning over him, I swirled my tongue around one of the hard nubs and felt him shudder.

Slowly, I caressed over his ribs, following with my lips, and when I reached his erection, I gently stroked along the hard length, enjoying the unfamiliar texture, before I wrapped my hand around him, feeling him pulse against my palm. A garbled moan hissed between his lips when I rubbed my thumb around the crown, where he leaked, and I watched as he arched off the bed in obvious pleasure. I felt daring and brave having watched his reaction to my touch, so I dipped my head and licked the bead of moisture that pooled on the flared head before I licked along the full length of him.

He panted, clutching at the sheets under him. “Enough…you have got to stop,” he mumbled, rising over me. He caressed my face with his hands while my core quivered at the feel of him sliding inside of me.

He slammed his lips down onto mine, slipping his tongue into my mouth while he started moving his hips in a slow, seductive rhythm. He started to nibble my neck, moving further south. He took one breast into his mouth then moved to the other one. His thrusts sped up and seeing stars, I lunged against Jacob, who started to groan as he jerked inside of me.

Breathing heavily, still joined, he wrapped his arm around my waist and rolled onto his side.

“I love you so much, Rose,” he whispered.

“I love you as much… I have something to tell you, and I hope you’ll be as happy as I am.”

Jacob searched my gaze and must have seen the hesitation in my eyes. “You can tell me anything, Rose.”

I held his gaze and confessed, “I think I’m pregnant.”

He froze beside me, and then turned away.

I could feel my eyes filling with tears as I watched him shut me out.

“Jacob?”

He sighed and dropped his head into his hands.

I couldn’t stay. I needed to leave. I started to move toward the door, when Jacob caught hold of my wrist, pulling me into his arms.

“I’m sorry, Rose. I wasn’t expecting you to say that. It was a shock.” He gradually started to smile, which spread across his face. “Rose, not only have you given me your love, but you’ve given me the most amazing gift…a child. I promise, I will always love you, and provide for you and our child…children.”

He stroked my stomach tenderly. I watched him with silent tears cascading down my face while happiness overwhelmed me at what I’d found with Jacob, my Jacob.

“Let’s leave tonight,” he said so seriously.

“We can’t. I’m not ready tonight, but I will be on Monday.”

He pulled me tight against his chest. “I want you with me.”

“I want that as well. It’s only three more days.” I kissed him.

He made love to me, then we dressed, and he walked me home. I hated parting from him. I wanted to stay wrapped in his arms.

* * *

April 12, 1947

Richard was sneaking around . . .

I was sosick that I could barely move. There could be no mistake. I was pregnant. I found myself unable to wipe the smile from my face. I was so happy, and my new life with Jacob was only two days away.

At work, I found myself humming while I placed returned books back onto the shelves. I got some strange looks from my colleagues, but I didn’t really care.

Richard walked into the library and stared at me. Other than the other day, I had no recollection of him coming in before. He actually made me feel uncomfortable. If I didn’t know better, I’d say he was up to something. I prayed it didn’t involve me, but I couldn’t think of any other reason for his behavior. I had a really bad feeling.

Dinner tonight was, yet again, a rather quiet affair as JT had been grounded again. He had been caught pinching an apple pie from Mrs. Jenkins next door. Apparently, she had left the pie by the window to cool, and JT and his friend, Levi, had taken it, hoping she would think it was a dog, but she had caught them taking the plate back.

* * *

April 13, 1947

Only one more day . . .

I felta bit better this morning, and my breakfast stayed down, thank goodness. I walked out of the front door and bumped into JT, who was sulking because he wasn’t allowed out after yesterday’s fiasco with the pie. Father had told him, school, and home with nothing in between. I could guarantee that by the time he arrived home this afternoon, he’d be in more trouble.

At the library, Richard came back and actually walked over to me. “Rose, I want to speak with you.”

Well, nice to see you too.

He took hold of my elbow and pulled me along roughly out of hearing range of anyone who might have come along. “What does he have that I don’t?”

“What?” I asked, stunned. Surely, he couldn’t be referring to Jacob. Could he?

“I saw you two days ago. You were wrapped around a tall guy. You were acting like a…like a…hussy.”

The nerve of him. “What I was doing and, with whom, is none of your business,” I told him, walking away.

He grabbed my arms and turned me around. “If you continue to see him, I’ll tell your parents. I bet they don’t know, do they?”

“You have no right interfering in my life. Who I have a relationship with is my business, not yours or my parents. So please stay out of it.”

He turned away from me and headed toward the exit. Tossing a sneer over his shoulder, he said, “We’ll see, Rose. We’ll see.”

For the first time since I’d met Jacob, I felt really scared and was afraid all of our happiness was about to come tumbling down. I really wished Jacob was with me, to hold me and tell me everything would be all right.

After lunch, I got my wish. I heard the front door open and glanced up, meeting Jacob’s eyes. He took one look at me and obviously knew there was something wrong. I stood and followed him to the back of the library, near the storage closet. I walked past him, took his hand, and pulled him after me into the closet.

“What’s wrong? Are you sick?” he asked me with concern all over his face.

I shook my head and burrowed my face into his chest. “Richard came in this morning. He said if I didn’t stop seeing you, he would tell my parents.” I looked up into his face. “He saw us kissing the other night.”

“Nobody threatens you, Rose. Do you hear me? I’m going to go see him.”

Oh, no!

“Jacob, please don’t. Knowing Richard, he’ll report you to the police, and then you’ll get arrested, and we won’t be able to leave tomorrow.”

While I held him tight, I stayed silent. I wanted him to cool his anger and calm down.

As he pulled away from me, he stroked my stomach then knelt down. He wrapped his arms around my hips and kissed my stomach, which brought tears to my eyes. I didn’t know what I’d done to deserve him, but I was so grateful.

He stood and kissed my lips. “I better go before I get you into trouble.”

I grinned.

“Um…any more trouble.” He chuckled, amusement clear in his gaze. “Everything is set for tomorrow night so don’t worry.”

“I won’t. I’m really excited too finally be with you.”

We snuck out from the cupboard, and I picked a couple of books up from one of the shelves to make it look as though I was returning them. I watched Jacob leave, and then rounded the corner to the next aisle where I bumped into Mary.

“That’s the same man as before. Are you sure you don’t know him?”

Mind your own business. “No, I don’t know him.”

Work was over for the day, for which I was grateful. After Jacob’s visit, Mary kept watching me. She knew I was lying to her, and her constant gaze was very unnerving.

I took my time walking home because I knew that if I rushed, I would be in time to see Mother and Father before they went out. Luckily, I’d managed to miss them. I really hoped Richard hadn’t been to see them. I was leaving tomorrow evening, but I wouldn’t put it past him to cause a great deal of trouble for Jacob and me.

I entered the house through the kitchen and froze. JT was in the kitchen, stuffing his face with cookies and ice cream. “Have you eaten dinner?”

“Yes.” He carried on eating.

“You’re going to be sick.”

He gave me a chocolate-covered grin. “I have an iron stomach.”

“Ha, you wish.” I made myself a sandwich and sat down with him.

Once finished, I helped him eat the cookies, dipping them into a glass of milk.

I really wished JT were a bit older so I could confide in him.