Chapter Nineteen

Danny

The next day was even better, if that was even possible. We barely made it to breakfast as Kane distracted me so thoroughly, we had to put two sets of sheets plus our towels in to wash before we sat down. I grinned at the envelopes next to my plate and tore into them eagerly. We always did this in private, and I assumed some of the family might be arriving tonight with it being a day early. Mom and Dad knew I didn't like a fuss these days, and I laughed at the silly and sweet card Mom had obviously picked out, and the desk calendar with family pics on it and the new tie she always got me. I opened the book from my dad—again a regular gift—and found a leather-bound volume of Fahrenheit 451, a classic I'd loved as a teenager.

"This is amazing, thank you," and I stood to hug them. I glanced happily at Kane and paused at his nearly blank expression. Then I noticed the hurt in his eyes and swore silently. When I sat back down my hand reached out to touch his knee under the table, but he didn't drop his own on top of mine like he had yesterday. I knew I was going to have to say something because my mom, so attuned to her kids, had noticed something was off. "Kane's mad at me now," I said, watching Kane's eyes widen in surprise that I was calling myself out. "I told him we were coming here to celebrate Dad's birthday and completely forgot to say we shared one." I winced. "I swear I didn't do it on purpose."

And I could have cried in relief when his hand dropped down over mine. "You share a birthday?"

I nodded. "Yep, twenty-eight years ago today, Dad got the best present of his life." Everyone chuckled at that. "We always had a thing that I got my cards at breakfast, and Dad got his at dinner."

"When's your birthday, Kane?" Mom asked, and Kane hesitated.

"December 25th. I'll be thirty-four."

I chuckled and mumbled "Daddy" under my breath, knowing everyone heard me. My mom rolled her eyes.

"I can't decide if that's good or bad," she continued. "I've heard people say they hate it because with all the fuss with Christmas, their birthday gets forgotten."

"A little ma'am," Kane said politely, but I immediately knew that Kane hadn't had a proper birthday in his life, or a Christmas for that matter. Well, he'd get spoiled for this one. Then I paused while my mind ran over that. I didn't even know if we had a future, let alone one over six months away, and I wasn't sure what to do with that thought.

I was pleased to see Kane tucking into his pancakes and bacon, and when we were done, Mom waved us off, insisting that she needed the kitchen. I ducked into the laundry and swapped the sheets to the dryer, knowing they wouldn't take long, and leaving the towels for the next run.

Then I took Kane by the hand because he didn't seem to mind and I loved it, and I went to show him all my childhood haunts. I showed him the horses and he was enthralled. Then the woods. We even climbed a tree that Dad had once built a tree house around, but it had crumbled quite a few winters ago and he took it down when Emily presented them with their first grandchild.

"I really didn't mean to embarrass you in there," I said, and he shrugged, but I knew he'd forgiven me.

"I'm pretty sure I got a toy car one year," Kane said abruptly. "You know, a bigger one, not one of those little metal ones. I don't remember getting it, but I remember him taking it from me."

I stayed quiet. I knew who Kane meant by him. If he wanted to talk, I would listen, but he didn't add anything else. "When we next get a break, if you want backup to go visit your grandad, let me know."

He met my gaze. "I was just thinking about him. What if he does know about me and wants nothing to do with an ex-con, or even this?" He touched his cheek.

"And what if he doesn't care about all that? I couldn't find any other family when I looked. You might be surprised."

Kane hesitated. "You'd really come with me?"

"You came here with me."

Kane scoffed. "You didn't need any help."

I glanced over from where we were perched. "Yeah, I did. Last night would have been all about when I was going to meet a nice boy." Kane's eyebrow shot up. "I've spent the last three years hiding," I admitted. "I came here originally after I was released from the hospital, but it was too much. Mom had to fight to stop herself from crying the first time they saw me, and even though I loved them to death, it added to my guilt.

Kane frowned. "Guilt?" he repeated softly. "Why guilt?"

"There're all sorts of official terms. I told you about Aubrey?, He was married to Pink, Gray's sister, and his daughter was born one month after Aubrey died."

"But isn't that the fault—" He cut himself off and smiled ruefully. "I get it." Yeah, I thought Kane did.

"The fact is, whatever label you put on it, Aubrey was a husband and a father, and I'm not."

Kane gaped at me. "And that makes you less? That's completely fucked up." Kane paused. "Wait, I thought Pink was Rawlings' wife?" But before I got the chance to explain another voice interrupted.

"You said a bad word."

I instantly recognized the haughty voice, and my stomach sank. We both looked down, and I groaned, but I'd known who I was going to see. Emily's oldest daughter Geneiva, or Ginny, Emily's mini-me, stood there looking up at us with judgmental seven-year-old eyes and hands on her hips in the exact copy of her mom's pose. I shifted my weight, and the branch creaked. Ginny moved nearer.

"Mommy's gonna be cross with you." She glared at Kane.

I tried to divert her. "Aren't you supposed to be at school?"

She huffed. "This is teacher learning day. Teachers always need to be constantly learning new things so they can teach us." It was obviously a direct quote. "And Grandma said I should tell you lunch is ready."

I blinked in surprise. It was that time already?

"Okay, go tell—"

"Move away," Kane suddenly said. "Danny, tell her to move away, right now." I glanced at Kane, but his face was a mask of fear and he held himself completely still. I had no idea why, but I obeyed instantly.

"Ginny, go tell Grandma we're on our way. If you go now, I have a present for you." I added desperately.

She narrowed her eyes. "That's bribery."

"Danny," Kane gritted out. "Jump now and run. Take her—" But the next second passed in a blur of movement. I felt the branch I was sitting on crack and had a moment of disorientation, then I was back in that hole.

The guard was screaming at me, but it was like I couldn't hear anything but noise. We'd heard the rattle of the Aks, and I knew without a doubt that Aubrey wasn't coming back. It should have been me. I knew that. For so many reasons. But for the last few days, Gray's concentration had been on me and like the selfish bastard I was, I'd lapped it up. Taken comfort. Taken from Aubrey because Gray didn't have the strength to keep us both together, and I was the weak link. It was my fault. If I hadn't been such a coward, Gray would have had enough for both of us.

And right then, if I could have swapped my life for Aubrey's, I would have done it in a heartbeat.

Screams, crying, pressure on my chest. I couldn't move.

"Danny. Danny, baby." I knew that voice, and it didn't belong in that hole. Then I was thrust into a different reality where there was so much noise. My dad was there, and I recognized Gavin, Emily's husband. Emily was crying as she dragged Ginny from Kane's arms. It was like I was a tree. I had branches, which made no sense, but then I was lifted upright and stared into the deep gray-green eyes that I loved.

"You're okay," Kane decreed, and I nodded because he'd said so. But as I looked at him, I saw blood. He had a vicious cut along the top of his eye that was swelling, but I still saw a tree.

"Why are you a tree?"

"For God's sake, Danny, snap out of it," Emily yelled. "Boo-hoo. You're a grown man. Where were you when Ginny could have been killed? This family's pandered to you for long enough. A hundred soldiers go through what you did every year. Didn't have a cushy time? Then you should have used the education Mom and Dad slaved to pay for and gotten a real damn job."

On a purely detached level, I heard Gavin hush his wife and lead them both away. I heard my dad talking to Kane and urging him to walk me back. I heard Kane. But my legs suddenly failed me, and I sat down in what seemed to be a field of wood and leaves. I hung onto the hand that clasped mine and took refuge in the arm that surrounded me. Maybe I shouldn't? Maybe I didn't deserve it? But nothing would have made me pull away.

"Danny?"

I looked up at the voice I recognized. He seemed so still in all the chaos. "Yeah?" I got a blinding smile because I'd replied and resolved to do that more often.

"The tree's fucked."

I turned and looked. I saw the field and knew where I was. I saw the listing trunk, and the broken branches, and suddenly it was funny. So I laughed and kept laughing while I let Kane lead me back to bed.

And of course, when I was in my normal space, I knew exactly what had happened. Emily's voice ringing in my ears. Pandering. Cushy. Real job.

"The branch broke."

The arms tightened around me. "Yeah," Kane agreed. "I saw the crack widen."

"I was thinking about that," I said. "Jay said your reflexes were extraordinary. Almost like you knew what was going to happen before it did. But I don't think that's right. I just think you see things first. That no one else has processed."

Kane seemed to consider that. "Maybe. Yeah, it's always a visual clue. Like I see things that others don't."

Excited, I carried on. "You just said you saw a crack in the branch."

"A 0.33mm crack, to be specific, but it appeared instantly. I knew it wasn't good."

I tried not to sound incredulous. "Kane, no one else could have seen that. It's not possible. Your warning probably saved Ginny's life. She was directly under the branch." He nodded, but then flushed.

"No," I said determinedly. "It's about time you started taking credit."

"Only if you do," Kane challenged.

"Me?" I scoffed. "What—" But Kane's finger on my lips silenced me.

"You saw me when I've been hidden all my life. I'm betting none of your family knows what really happened to you because you avoid them rather than confront them."

My gaze fell to the floor. To the mess of leaves. "Because I never told them what school was like. They never understood." And I didn't want to tell them what it was like in that hole. I didn't want to remember. "I couldn't tell my mom."

"Which I get," Kane said. "And I'm sorry. I know she was scared for her kid, but Emily's entitled. She wouldn't make it a day through what you went through."

"What either of us went through," I reminded him.

He was silent for a moment. "You know, I never considered myself a victim. Poor me, definitely, but in some screwed-up way I thought I deserved this." He touched his cheek. "Maybe somehow I had to come up with a reason Mom left. Then, when I found out she might not have left voluntarily, it was like my world altered, and I don't know how to deal."

"You seem to be dealing okay with me," I said bitterly. Why the hell couldn't I stand on my own two feet?

"No," Kane said and grabbed my arms. I was startled enough to listen. "Yes, the last few years after Archie died were shit, but do you have any idea how thankful I was to be in prison?"

I gaped. Thankful to be in prison? No, I hadn't heard correctly.

"I was fed three meals a day for the first time in my fucking life. I got a doctor. I had books. I had—" Kane swallowed "—I had a dad." His voice was so quiet I barely heard it. And I realized how truly ignorant I was. And that I had to step up.

"I'll face my family if you will."

And Kane smiled. "So long as you let me take the gloves off with Emily."

"Be my guest." It was time. It really was.