20. Caroline

Jake, Cade, and Mikey–Cade's father–have spent most of the night working on the pipes at the BB. I had no idea Jake would help, but when we returned from Jesse's cabin together and found Cade and his dad working, Jake jumped right in.

The optimistic part of me wants to say he's just being helpful. I want to see it as a sweet gesture by the father of my child–something to help speed up the process of getting the water turned back on and not leaking from my ceilings. But the pessimistic part of me wonders if he's just avoiding the inevitable point where we'll be alone again.

I have to admit I was stressed about it. Tomorrow, we're all meeting at the town center for the beginning of the wedding games. The last time we talked on the phone, we argued about it again. The conversation ended with Jake clearly thinking we should just call the whole thing off and me thinking he was being unreasonable.

And then there was that kiss at Jesse's cabin. What the hell was that?

Since returning from Manhattan, it's like we've both been trying to cage the obvious sparks between us. But that kiss… none of the sparks were held back. I felt freaking fireworks again. Even now, hours later, I've still got pools of desire practically burning through my insides.

But I busy myself around the BB, mostly trying to stay out of the guys' way. In part, I'm trying not to slow them down. But it's also painful to watch them tear the ceiling apart so they can get to the pipes. According to Mikey, he will have to rip out a big section of the ceiling in the lobby and kitchen. Then, he'll have to remove a large chunk of wall in the kitchen.

Since Jake knows nothing about plumbing, he's helping pry the wooden boards from the ceiling and then replacing them after Cade and Mikey fix the pipes.

Occasionally, I steal glances Jake's way when he's up on the step stool. He's so damn tall he doesn't even need a real ladder to reach the ceiling. He's just using a dinky little step stool and raising his long arms. Sometimes, his sweater rides up high enough that I can see a tantalizing strip of bare skin above the waist of his jeans.

Tantalizing, tanned, muscular, deliciously sexy skin.

I catch myself staring again and focus back on my notebook. Working, Caroline. You were working.

Eventually, though, sleepiness gets the better of me. I thank the guys again and head up to sleep.

I try to wait a little while and read a book in bed, but I'm having trouble getting into it and only make it about six pages before the soft sounds of Walker's breathing lull me to sleep.

I wakeup feeling the kind of refreshed that only happens when Jake stays with me at the BB. He never asks. He just wakes up and takes care of Walker whenever he makes the tiniest sound, letting me sleep as long as I've got bottles of breast milk ready in the fridge.

I stretch luxuriously, yawning and smiling. Walker is wide awake, kicking and fidgeting around in his crib. I pat his diaper, and I can tell it's fresh and clean.

I really made a baby with the right guy. Even if we're tangled in a confusing mess right now, there's no denying that much.

I hear the sink running, so I pad barefoot out of bed and reach my hand to knock on the door. It swings open before my knuckles meet wood.

Jake is wearing athletic clothes, powerful pecs pressing against the white fabric of his t-shirt.

"Morning," he says. "Bathroom's all yours. I'm going out for a jog."

"Oh," I say. "Are we good about today? About the wedding games and everything? I didn't really get a chance to ask you last night."

"Yeah, sure. It's fine."

He brushes past me and leaves without giving me time to get another word in.

I stare after him, leaning in the doorway to the bathroom and letting out a long breath. Then the scent of Walker's poopy diaper drifts to my nose. "Really, Walker?" I ask. "You had to wait until your Daddy left to do that?"

He kicks and wiggles, too cute to even be frustrated with. I smile and go to him. "Why can't your Daddy be so easy to understand? Is he mad about the wedding games? Or is he stressed that we're having to keep a secret from so many people? Or maybe he's just worried about all his friends retiring from hockey? Which one is it, Walker?"

Walker's face turns a shade of red, and I hear a series of little deadly pops coming from his diaper region.

I grin. "I know you don't have many ways to communicate right now, but we'll have to work on that. We don't talk with our butts, okay?"

My baby talk draws out a toothless smile from him that melts my heart.

I lean in close, showering his chubby face with kisses. "Oh, you're just so cute, who's so cute?"

He actually giggles as I'm kissing him. I jump up, hands pumping toward the air. "Your first giggle!" My celebration makes Walker giggle even more. Just as I feel regretful that Jake is missing this, the door to my room swings open.

"Everything okay?" he asks. "I heard–" Jake's eyebrows furrow and he looks at Walker. The expression on Jake's face makes Walker giggle again.

"He's laughing!" he says, rushing forward and hugging me.

We both snap a few pictures, then try to get a video. By the time we think to record it, Walker has reached his post-poop sleepy stage.

Jake refuses to let me handle the diaper, changing him and wiping him clean before he goes to the door again almost half an hour later.

"Hey…" he says, one hand on the doorframe. "I know I've given you a hard time about the wedding games thing. But I talked to Jesse. He helped me see your side of it. Like how your mom would've done exactly the same thing. And, yeah. I get it now. I'm sorry I made it difficult."

I'm surprised when the simple mention of my mom and my brother's thoughtfulness makes tears well up in my eyes. I try to blink them back, looking down. "Sorry," I say, voice thick. "Mom hormones."

"Hey, shit," Jesse whispers, coming quickly to wrap me in a tight hug. "I didn't mean to upset you."

"You didn't. I just… I don't get why it got so hard between us. Again. Why is it so hard for us to make this work?"

Jesse runs his hand down over my hair in soothing strokes, his big body firm and warm against me. He's so tall that my face doesn't even quite reach his chest. "We just need to get through this wedding thing. That's all," he says. "I don't like lying to the guys. It's hard."

I nod. "I know. I don't like it either. Are you sure you still want to do this?"

"We don't have a choice," he says. "I'm not going to let that asshole take your BB."

I want to argue–to tell him I'm okay if he backs out. But I can't make the words come. Walker needs his mom to have a job. My mom's heart would break if she knew I lost the BB. I just… can't. No matter the cost. I press my face tighter into his stomach and he gives me a squeeze.

"Sometimes I think I dreamed that whole thing with Peter up. Like a bad nightmare. I haven't even heard from him since that day."

"He's probably hoping you write it off as a dream. Then he can come back once we miss the deadline and collect his winnings."

"Yeah," I sigh. "That does make sense."

"We'll figure it out. You good for me to go for a run? I need to get it in now if I'll be able to shower in time for the games."

"Yeah, sure," I say, wiping my eyes and pulling back. "I'm good."

He kisses the top of my head and then leaves.

And with that, I let out a long, hard breath.