Chapter Thirty

Chapter Thirty

Elijah

I was a fucking goner.

I knew I was a poor helpless fool when it came to Hadley. But now I was a total never-going-back-to-the-way-I-was type of goner. Touching Hadley… Tasting her… I couldn’t believe she’d given me that kind of permission.

Hadley and her family consumed my thoughts. All I wanted to do was be around them.

I stayed up until two talking and laughing with Hadley before she finally dozed off with Eli between us. Her blonde hair was loose and spilled all over the pillow and bedcovers as she smiled at Eli and spoke to him and me. I was mesmerized further after I knew how she felt and tasted. How right her body was draped across or beneath mine.

I was wild about her, fully dedicated to her and Lucy and the chubby butterball between us.

I hadn’t missed the way Hadley’s eyes darted nervously over to the door every so often before she finally slept. She worried about Lucy waking and seeing me. I wouldn’t let her nervous energy scare me away though. I knew what I was getting into, and I wanted it even more because of it. Once Hadley saw that I wasn’t going anywhere, ever, I hoped that she wouldn’t hide me from Lucy.

I didn’t just want Hadley. I wanted all three of them.

I awakened stiff and cramped a few hours later. Terrified of rolling over onto Eli, I didn’t budge an inch. Something strange happened when I looked at him. My world came full circle and showed me what I was missing.

Hadley sighed drowsily and swatted at her clock on her nightstand, catching my attention. It was cute how her eyes blinked as she looked toward Eli with a tender expression. Then they widened when she realized I was still there.

Yeah… I wanted more moments like that.

After dropping Lucy and Eli off at her parents and driving Hadley to work, I came home and the same thought replayed in my head until it was time to head to the parlor.

I wanted it.

At work, I tattooed and joked around. But every thought I had was of Hadley and me and everything in between.

I wanted it.

I left work an hour early to pick up Hadley from work. When I saw her walking out the entrance in a pair of dark gray The Flintstones scrubs, my world tilted on its axis. I swallowed my tongue as her gaze landed on mine. Shyly, she lifted her hand and waved, something she had never done before. Which meant she was still carrying around that nervous energy.

Fucking shit. I was too.

That cute, messy bun wrapped atop her head was doing shit to my brain. I thought about removing the band and watching her silky strands tumble across her shoulders as I bent her over and—

I leaned across the console and opened the passenger door before she did.

“Hey.” She sounded a little breathy as she jumped in.

“How are you even more beautiful than when I dropped you off this morning?” I asked her seriously.

She blushed as she buckled up. “Stop. I didn’t even feel like doing anything to my face this morning I was so tired.”

“I’m a little upset that it wasn’t because of me.” Eli took all the credit for that. She laughed. I reached out and grabbed her hand, intertwining our fingers as I pulled out of the parking lot.

“Elijah.” I didn’t like the tone of her voice. It gave me something akin to heartburn. I never thought about what would happen if she regretted last night. What if she pulled away completely? No Hadley. No Lucy. No Eli.

I forgot how to breathe while my heart momentarily stopped at the idea of her…

This had to be what dying felt like. The idea of losing what wasn’t mine in the first place.

“Don’t,” I said, holding her hand more firmly in mine. “Don’t look or sound regretful. I know you’re a mom, and you’ve got plenty of shit to worry about. I’m going to be here. With your kids. Even if it means I never get to take you out on a first date alone, I want to be here with you.”

My chest grew tight as she pulled her hand out of mine. “Lucy really likes you. I just don’t want to ruin that friendship she has with you and what you have with us. I’m scared.” I glanced over at her and saw the glassy look in her eyes. “I’m scared of losing our friend Elijah when things go south.”

I grabbed her hand again, unable to bear her fears screaming at me. “Why can’t I be both? I can be everything you need. As far as things going south? That will never happen.”

She didn’t remove her hand, but from the corner of my eye I saw her turning toward the window. “You don’t know that.”

“Yes, I do because the only way I’d ever leave you guys alone is if you’d ask that of me.”

I felt her gaze on me now. “What is it you want from me?”

Lifting her hand to my lips, I kissed her knuckles. I glanced at Hadley and said, “Everything.”

She finally whispered, “You sound real.”

“Baby, I am real.” I placed our hands on my lap. “I want whatever you can give me. If what you need for me to do is take a step back, I will but I’m still going to come running every time Lucy calls, and I’m most certainly going to flirt with you every chance I get. Even if you don’t let me into that tight pussy again for a while, I’m not going anywhere.”

I saw her squeeze her legs together as she placed her hand on her forehead. “I just need to think of Lucy and Eli and what this would do to them.”

______

For two days and two long evenings, Hadley made me keep my hands to myself. I could see the wheels turning in her head, How do we go back to before Elijah had me for a meal on my kitchen table?

It was amusing to watch the vigorous way she cleaned it the next day. When she caught me observing her from my spot on the sofa beside Lucy, her cheeks turned bright red and she kicked me out. With blonde strands falling from her bun and still wearing scrubs, Hadley looked almost feral as she shoved me through the door.

“Stop that,” she scolded me.

“Stop what?” I pinned her with a smoldering stare, but she shut it, anyway.

I knew she was afraid. I saw it in her eyes, but I also saw how much she wanted to have me. For an independent woman who’d been hurt, the idea of being with me possibly terrified Hadley. I was safe as her friend Elijah… Next-door neighbor who her daughter liked Elijah… Well, I wanted more. I wanted to come home to them one day. I wanted to be always there Elijah… Never leaving Elijah… Husband Elijah… Stepdad Elijah… ForeverElijah…

The next evening was no different. Okay, it was a little crankier than usual. I picked her up, told her how gorgeous she was, and took her to pick up the kids at her parents’. She lit into me for buckling Lucy in wrong and then pushed me aside so she could fix it. She was even more annoyed when I hovered to see what I was doing wrong. Eli was fussy, Lucy was hangry, and their mother was fussing at all of us.

Lucy wanted candy. I got in trouble for stopping at a gas station to get her some. Hadley took the candy and held it for ransom until Lucy ate when we got to the apartment. At that point, I hadn’t said much. The deep scowl on Hadley’s pretty face let me know she was itching to fight with me.

I knew what she was doing. She was sabotaging. She didn’t know what to do with me. She couldn’t understand what I was doing there with them. She watched me with terror in her eyes.

All I wanted to do was wrap her in my arms and assure her I wasn’t leaving. I wish I could take away all her insecurities that her asshole of an ex gave her, but I knew it didn’t work that way. The only thing I could do was show her, but that could only happen if she let me in.

“What are you still doing here?” Hadley snapped as she stood at the stove, flipping burgers.

Lucy looked up from the coloring book, dropping her crayon dramatically. “Why are you being mean to Elijah?”

Hadley blinked at her daughter and blubbered, “I’m not.”

“Yeah-huh. Elijah’s been buckling me in since the last time you showed him, and you yelled at him, saying he did it wrong. Then you yelled at him for getting me candy.”

“You need to eat first,” Hadley sighed.

“You’re grumpy,” Lucy said, picking up a purple crayon.

Hadley gawked at her like she wanted to say something, but she seemed to think about it, sighed, and then turned toward the stove. Eli cried. Feeling brave, I stood from my chair. “I’ll get him.”

Hadley twisted around and narrowed her eyes. “I’ll get him,” she said, like I knew she would. I followed her the few feet it took to grab him out of his bassinet in the living room.

“Elijahhh,” she dragged out my name as she cradled Eli.

“You need to chill,” I whispered, pushing the loose hairs off the side of her face and forehead.

“You need to chill,” she deflected.

I sighed. “You’re so obvious.”

“What?” she hissed.

“You’re trying to make me change how I feel.” I gripped her shoulders. “Baby, I’m here to tell you it doesn’t work that way. I want you no matter what.” I tilted my head and smirked. “Especially like this. I can help loosen you up…”

“Shh,” she hissed. “What if Lucy hears you?”

“Nothing’s changed. This has been happening for a while now, you and I.”

“You need to go.”

“Okay,” I mumbled, removing my hands. Before I left, I said, “I’m scared, too, Hadley, but not the way you think. My fear comes from your not giving me a chance before we even begin.”

Hadley would never understand how she twisted me into knots. Could she honestly say that she didn’t want to try with me? Normally, I never doubted myself, but she had me all kinds of fucked-up.

At least Lucy was disappointed that I was leaving.

For the rest of the evening, I sat around and thought about what I should do and decided maybe the best course of action was to take a step back and let Hadley have her way. Of course I wanted my hands on her. I wasn’t even going to pretend that I didn’t want to flirt with Hadley. The one mind-blowing time with her the other night was making my chest hurt thinking I’d never get to be that way with her again.

Man, I was depressed.

She kicked me out. Well, not technically but she still didn’t want me there, and that messed with my head. Would she even come around to the idea of us or was that my new reality? Did sleeping with her really terrify her that much? Or did she regret it and that was why she was so uncomfortable?

Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

Honest to God I couldn’t breathe. The air didn’t return to my lungs until the mom who tore my life to hell sent me a text around eleven that same night.

Hadley: You asleep?

Two words but my stomach churned in fear. Would that be the end for me?

Elijah: No. Is everything okay?

Hadley: Lucy and Eli are asleep…

Holy shit! Was she suggesting…?  Heat crawled up my neck, and my cock twitched.

What was I thinking? Hadley made me leave earlier. Why the late night fuck text? I should be fucking pissed and demand she let me take her out on a date. I wasn’t a booty call. She needed to know this shit between us was the real deal. She wasn’t getting away from me.

Hadley: Come up, if you want.

Who was I fucking kidding? I barreled through my hallway, stumbled over some random shit on the floor, slipped on my boots, and headed out the door. She didn’t regret what we did. She wanted to do it again.

I couldn’t wait to smack that ass for scaring the fuck out of me.

Before I could knock, she opened the door like she was waiting on me. Her small hand fisted my shirt and yanked me through the doorway. Hadley closed the door behind me as she stood on her tiptoes and urged my lips to meet hers.Hadley’s small petite frame pressed me up against the door, her tongue in search of mine as she gripped a chunk of my hair like a crazy woman.

She had liquid fire pumping through my veins. No, she was in my veins. The woman was all through me, embedded so deeply I knew there wasn’t a thing I wouldn’t do for her. Just to have her in my life… For me to be hers… To wake up with her in my arms every day.

I didn’t doubt that the pink grandma gown she wore was so that I had easier access to her. The giant thing was hot as fuck on her. I pulled away from her mouth for a second just to see her in it. I took in her ocean-blue eyes, fueled by lust, in the darkened kitchen. Then I let her resume pawing at my chest as I slipped my hand up her gown and gripped an ass cheek. She gasped and my tongue dove into her open mouth.

“Hold up a second,” I groaned as I patted her ass a few times in hopes she’d stop stealing my soul with her kisses. She didn’t listen. She didn’t even respond. I had to grab her shoulders and pull her away from me. “We need to talk.”

Her eyes were glassy and cheeks were flushed as she gazed up at me. “Why?”

“Are you done being a sour puss?” I asked her.

She rolled her eyes and sighed. “Elijah…”

“You’ve been a little shit all day.”

“I have not,” she tried to say, but I shut her up quickly.

“You have. You’ve been itching for a fight all day. You made me leave earlier. Why? Is it so you can go right back to pretending you didn’t fuck me in the morning?”

She tried to pull away from me, but I held her tighter and brought her closer. “I don’t want to be a dirty secret, Hadley.”

“Why did you even come over if we’re not going to…” She let her words die out. I had yet to hear a cuss word from her mouth.

“Who said we aren’t?” I murmured softly. Once I was sure she wouldn’t try to get away from me, I trailed my fingers down her side. “Spread your legs,” I said and realized she’d already done it. Smiling down at her, I lifted her gown and rubbed my fingers over her wet panties. “Will you come sit down and listen to me for a second?”

Hadley nodded, and I scooped her into my arms and carried her to the couch. I sat down with her, curling her up like a child in my hold as I stared at her. “You’re so beautiful, Hadley.” And she was. Everything about her—from the roundness of her eyes and the cute curve in her lips as she blushed and smiled to the angry expressions crossing her face—was perfect. I could never grow tired of seeing her.

Hadley averted her eyes and whispered, “You’ll make me do something awkward. Just stop…”

“You’re always awkward.”

That made her glance up with a slight laugh. “Hey.”

“You’re the definition of jumpy.” I laughed. “You’re my little bundle of nerves.”

She sighed. “I can’t help it.”

“It’s amazing, you know, watching you handle single parenting despite being a nervous person. At times you’re a superhuman, then I see how flustered you get over the shit I say and wonder how you even function. But you do it so easily.” I held her closer, rubbing my thumb across her arm. “I don’t want you to have to do anything alone, anymore.”

She sucked in a breath and met my eyes. “Elijah…”

“I would never say a word to Lucy, Hadley. Not until you’re ready to tell her, but I want to head in that direction. With you. One day I want my life to be with you guys. I’ve felt that way ever since meeting you and your family.”

I never felt more terrified of anything than I did at that moment. I was giving Hadley everything I had to offer—all of me. My time, my love, my thoughts. Anything I had was hers to take if she’d let me have her to love and hold like I so desperately wanted.

She was quiet for a long time as she searched my eyes. It only made my fear worse. What if I was too hateful or bossy for her liking? What if I didn’t have enough skin because most of me was covered in tattoos? What if she still loved Lucy and Eli’s dad?

“Please,” she whispered as she closed her eyes. A tear slid down her cheek, and I caught it with my thumb. “Don’t hurt me. Most of all, don’t hurt Lucy because my little girl likes you, and I don’t want her to wonder why you’re not there one day like her dad.”

“One day, baby, when we’re old and gray, I’m going to look over at you while we’re sitting on the porch and tell you how these tears were wasted.”

She cried harder as she opened her eyes. “God bless… You’re serious!”

“One hundred percent.” I cupped her cheeks in my hands. “That one percent of you… I want it.”

With a ragged breath, Hadley’s lips were on mine. Wet nose and all, she pressed her weight into that single kiss, and I took it all. Opening her mouth, I flicked and traced my tongue over hers. She grabbed the bottom of my shirt. I had to lean forward so that she could yank it over my head. And then, together, we took off her grandma nightie. Hadley’s nipples hardened the moment the cool air touched her skin. I gripped one roughly, tugging on the nipple until she rubbed herself against my lap. I kept pinching and pulling, completely mesmerized by her perfect breasts. When no milk came out like I wanted, I bent down and sucked one between my lips. She cried out as it trickled into my mouth.

Maybe I should feel bad for getting so fucking turned on by her body, which supplied food for a tiny life, but that just made me want her more. The fact that she let me fondle her like a depraved man only made me worse.

She deserved the attention, and I wanted to be the one that gave it to her. The only one that knew the wild way she bucked and moaned when I reminded her that she was still a woman, my woman, and not only a mother. She was a fucking perfect blend of both roles.

Unlike the other night, I planned on fucking her for more than thirty seconds before I lost my shit. It didn’t matter though. That moment with her had topped any and everything I’d ever felt before.

“I want to…” Her voice trailed off as she pulled away from me. Climbing out of my lap, she got on her knees in front of me.

“Hadley,” I groaned.

She would be the death of me.

I watched as her bashful eyes moved over my jeans before she unzipped them. I helped her wrestle with my jeans until they were pulled down enough freeing my cock. Just like my desperate heart, it bobbed straight up seeking Hadley. She wrapped her hand around it softly, and I groaned. “Don’t be afraid of hurting me. You won’t hurt him, baby. Go on and choke him out and see.”

Her giggles were music to my ears as she shook her head at me, admiring my cock. Hadley’s eyes were so big and round and glassy as her mouth parted… Killing me slowly.

Then she gasped, and I saw exactly what she did at that moment. Her hand moved up to my pubic bone piercing before her eyes found mine. “Is that a piercing?” she whispered in both awe and shock.

“Yeah. I guess you didn’t get the chance to see it the other night,” I murmured hoarsely as I slipped my fingers through the bun atop her head.

“Does it have a purpose?” Her cheeks were getting extremely red, so I knew she had an idea.

“Want to find out?” I asked. She bit her bottom lip, slowly nodding. “Let’s go to your room.” Another nod.

I stood, pulling up my jeans as I pinched at Hadley’s nipples and ass as I followed her into the room. “Shh,” she mumbled as we stepped in and closed the door.

“You guys will have to stay at my house. This apartment is too small, and your mouth is too big—” She covered mine, slightly laughing as I pushed her down on the bed. “I feel bad that I’m over here fondling Eli’s milk supply with him right there in the crib.”

More laughter. “Stop talking before you kill the mood.”

I climbed on top of her, pinching her nipple until she hissed, and pushed her legs apart with my knees. “Let me see if the moods gone,” I whispered, slipping my hand between her legs and feeling the dampness of her panties. “It’s an ocean down there.”

“Can you lose the playful attitude before I smack you upside the head? What happened to the guy in the living room?”

I studied her stubborn pout with a smile. “Oh, so you do like that I’m an asshole?”

She rolled her eyes. “Drying up like the desert.”

“I see that being horny also makes you cranky.” I grabbed her panties and yanked them off, forcing her legs in the air. She made a sound in her throat as I gripped her thighs and jerked her into position until her pussy lined up with my cock. I ran my fingers over her clit before slipping into her. “Desert, my ass. I could bottle you up and go live in one with how wet you are.”

“Shh,” she murmured. She wanted me quiet now? I smirked and grabbed her tit. Something I couldn’t help but keep doing. She hissed.

“Shh,” I told her, bending down and grazing my teeth over the side of her neck.

She slid her hand over my chest and squirmed beneath me. “Condom,” she whimpered. It was then that I realized how demanding Hadley could get. She was normally so docile and sweet. It didn’t matter. I loved her either way.

Raising up, I kicked my jeans off and grabbed the condom from my back pocket before tossing them into the floor. Hadley eagerly watched as I tore open the packet and wrapped myself. Hiking her legs up, I gripped her thighs and scooted her ass toward the edge of the bed. She shivered as I teased her pussy lips with my cock. I didn’t waste another second talking or making her wait. Lifting her hips slightly, I thrust into her tight pussy.

Hadley’s back arched, and she whimpered. I reached down and grabbed one of her large tits and squeezed—being inside her made me feel like a man possessed. She felt so damn good. I had to have my hands on every part of her. She grabbed her other one as I withdrew and slammed into her hard enough her breasts bounced. She held one firm as I kneaded the one I gripped before caressing the nipple gently. I stroked her a few times before thrusting all the way inside her slowly until my piercing rubbed against her clit. I rolled my hips around completely rooted inside her.

“Elijah,” she gasped. She spread her legs further apart, and I knew she wanted more friction from the piercing. She began grinding against it. When I pulled out, she whimpered and wrapped her legs around me. “Stay close,” she whispered. “Oh, fudge.” Her tits jiggled slightly as she arched again, then she was reaching up and urging me down over her. “Need you closer.”

Fuck. Like I could deny her anything when she trembled below me, her voice laced with desire heightening my need for her.

I hovered over Hadley and rotated my hips, brushing against her clit again. She squeezed me tighter. “Closer.”

Unless we could swap souls, I couldn’t get any closer, not when I was already hugging her heavy breasts. I understood what she wanted though. I was inside her, but I wanted her to know how deep and intense this was for me. Maybe she felt what I felt.

Pushing one of her legs back so I could nestle deeper inside her, I rested my forehead on hers gently and whispered, “You like that?”

Her forehead bounced against mine. I pumped into her slowly, giving her clit constant stimulation from the piercing.  “Elijah,” she whimpered. I felt her stomach tense right before she came. Her entire body fluttered beneath mine as her pussy pulsed around my cock.

I guided her along with slow, steady thrusts. I covered my mouth with hers. The frantic way her tongue fell over mine had both of us shaking. My body strained, fighting the urge building within me.

Since Hadley’s so satisfied with slow tonight, I fought to keep my release right at the edge. As long as I didn’t move much, I could draw it out until she was sated. The greatest pleasure was seeing her shatter over and over for me. Heat crawled down my back and into my stomach just watching her.

If only her body didn’t fit with mine so perfectly, not busting my load would be easier. She fit like a glove, and her pussy was still pulsating a good minute after she came. Her legs tightened around my back. “Elijahhh,” she cried out again, and now I knew she was about to guide my own climax from me.

Fucking—

Hadley was already slipping into another one.

“Fuck, Hadley,” I hissed. Fire ran through me. The head of my cock throbbed. There was no stopping me. It didn’t matter that I wasn’t moving, as soon as Hadley’s walls clenched, it was all over for me. Before Hadley could start or finish, I whispered, “Here, baby.” I pulled out and thrust deeply. “Jesus Christ, Hadley.” Then we came together.

We sealed it with a kiss before I murmured, “Can I stay?”

“No.”

“You’re killing me.” I lifted off of her, and she pinched my nipple. I swatted her hand away. “Don’t pinch me, woman.”

She giggled. “Who’s the sour puss now?”

I pulled off the condom and placed it at the edge of the bed so I could discard it when I got up. I toppled back over her. “Can’t move,” I lied.

“Baby steps,” she whispered.

“Have you seen my feet?” I asked her even though I knew what she was talking about. “I can’t do baby steps.”

“Not even for me?”

Exhaling, I sat up and kissed her forehead. “For you, anything.”