10. Mia

“Hi, Mom.”

“Mia, honey! It’s so good to see you.”

Mia gritted her teeth. It was just like her mom to pretend that nothing was wrong, and that none of the disastrous interactions in the past had even happened. But getting angry wouldn’t help matters. That’s not what she was here for.

“Please, sit down.”

Mia pulled away slightly from her mom’s open arms. She had agreed to meet her, but expecting a hug was pushing it too far.

Naomi either didn’t notice or wasn’t bothered. She had never cared to notice or be bothered by things that didn’t fit into how she wanted the world to be.

“I’ve got us a nice little house, Mia, just on the other side of town. I’ve been trying to tell you about it, but… well, you’re here now. We’ll be together again, just like old times.”

“Old times?” Old times like when Harry was harassing and terrifying the both of them? Mia once more had to clamp her mouth shut to stop herself from going on a tirade. She had a clear purpose here, and a tirade was not on the agenda.

“Mom, I asked you here for a reason. I have something I’d like to say, and I’d appreciate it if you could hear me out.”

Mia knew the words of her speech by heart, having gone over it so many times that she could probably say it in her sleep.

“Of course. We’re due for a good catch up.”

Was she really that oblivious, or was she simply pretending nothing was wrong to lie to herself and assuage her own anxiety?

“Mom, Harry was abusive—toward both of us. He may not have hurt us physically, but it was still abuse.”

“Mia, don’t be silly. Harry would never have—”

“I asked you to hear me out. I promise I will listen to what you have to say as well, but I would like to say my piece first.”

“Okay, Mia. Whatever you want, honey.”

“Like I said, Harry was abusive, and while you never joined him in that abuse, you did nothing to stop it. I was a child and couldn’t do anything to protect myself. I was counting on you to protect me, and you didn’t. I still have nightmares about it, you know. And panic attacks. What I went through has a far-reaching negative impact on me, something I will probably never be able to leave behind entirely.” Mia took a deep breath and continued.

“You have hurt me too much for me to want you in my life again. What you did cannot be undone or explained away. I realize you may see it differently, but this is how I see it, and that’s not going to change. I am asking you nicely to leave me alone. If you make me ask again, it will involve lawyers and it will not be nice.”

“Mia, you’re overreacting. Sure, Harry may have had a bit of a temper, but who doesn’t have flaws? I’m your mother. You can’t just end an entire relationship because of a little disagreement.”

Mia really wanted to argue, but Patrick had told her not to do it. Arguing wouldn’t bring her any sort of fulfillment and would only draw out this encounter.

“Is that everything you have to say?”

“I’m not on trial here, Mia.”

“No, you’re not. I’ve already made my decision. If you’ve said your piece, then there’s nothing left to say.”

“You can’t just abandon your mother, Mia!”

“Like you abandoned your daughter? You may not have physically left, but you abandoned me all the same. I’m done. Stop contacting me or I will take legal action.”

Mia had to get out of there before the desire to punch something overwhelmed her. It wasn’t like her painting was going particularly well at the moment, but it would go even less well if she had a broken hand.

“Goodbye, Mom.”

Naomi was staring at her, apparently shocked into silence. Mia was thankful that her mom didn’t follow her as she left the restaurant.

By the time she got into the car, she was shaking hard, but she managed to hold it together until she got home. Her immediate instinct was to call Genevieve. She’d just done one of the hardest things she’d ever had to do, and she desperately needed reassurance. Genevieve would give her that, if Mia asked.

Despite everything that had passed between them, Mia knew that Genevieve would never turn her away when she was in distress.

However, she wasn’t going to do that. It wouldn’t be fair to Genevieve. Mia had already called Genevieve in crisis once, and it hadn’t ended well. This time, she was going to do things properly.

She had finally gotten to the point of telling her mother goodbye for good. For the last several months, Mia had been working hard in therapy. She’d lost count of the number of times she’d wanted to strangle Patrick, but she couldn’t deny that he’d been helpful.

It would probably take years to fully work through the trauma, but she felt like she was finally healed enough to offer Genevieve what she deserved—a stable partner who wasn’t going to run out on her when things got hard.

Of course, Genevieve may not want that with Mia anymore, but Mia wasn’t giving in without a fight. Genevieve had never had someone fight for her before. Mia was determined to be the first—and hopefully the last.

Mia went home and spent the afternoon using various self-soothing and distraction strategies Patrick had recommended. She took a long, hot bath and listened to some music before going for a walk in the park. By the time dinner came around, Mia felt a lot more settled than she had before.

She wanted to call Genevieve now but erred on the side of caution. Genevieve would still be there tomorrow, and Mia didn’t want to rush things and end up messing them up. She’d messed up enough already.

So, she waited until the next morning before making her move. Mia slept without nightmares, as she usually did nowadays. She woke up early, but waited until lunch, not wanting to disturb Genevieve’s routine.

Finally, at twelve-thirty, Mia acted. She wondered if Genevieve would even answer her call. The phone rang for so long that she was starting to suspect that she would be ignored, but Genevieve eventually answered.

“Hello, Mia.” She sounded extremely wary, and Mia didn’t blame her for that.

“Hi, Genevieve. I was wondering if we could talk.”

“I’m quite busy, Mia, but if it’s important, I can spare a few minutes.”

Well, this wasn’t off to a hopeful start, but Mia pushed on. “I was hoping we could talk in person.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea. What was it you needed, Mia?”

Well, she guessed they were just going to do this over the phone, then. “I’ve been in therapy for a while now—ever since we split up. It’s been tough, but I’ve persevered, and I really think I’m getting a handle on my issues. I’m not completely cured, but I finally feel like I’m in a stable place. I met with my mom and explained to her exactly why I’m not going to re-establish a relationship with her. I don’t think she’ll contact me again—if she does, any further contact will be between her and my lawyer.”

Genevieve’s voice lost some of its frostiness. “That’s great, Mia. I’m proud of you.”

“I want you back.”

Silence. Mia quickly continued before Genevieve could decide to hang up.

“I wasn’t ready before, but I am, now. I love you, Genevieve, and I want to be with you. I know I’ve made mistakes, but I’m ready to earn back your trust, no matter how long it takes.”

Genevieve sighed. “Thank you for your honesty, Mia, but I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

This was exactly why Mia had wanted to meet in person. Over the phone, she couldn’t read Genevieve’s body language or facial expressions, and she needed every advantage she could get in this situation.

“Are you saying you don’t love me too?”

There was a long pause. “That wasn’t what I said. That’s not the point, though. We can’t be together, Mia.”

“May I ask why not?”

“You may be committed now, but what happens when your past gets in the way again? I don’t want to do things halfway, Mia.”

“Neither do I. I may not have been invested enough before, but I am now, and I’m willing to prove it. Come on a date with me? Let’s take things slow. If you don’t like what you see—if I give you even the smallest indication that I’m not one hundred percent committed to making this work long term—you can always still leave.”

There was another long pause. Mia waited on tenterhooks, hoping with all of her being that Genevieve would take her.

“No.”

Mia felt like her insides shriveled at the sound of that tiny, awful word.

“I’m sorry, Mia, but I have to go. I don’t think it’s a good idea for us to be in contact anymore.”

The line clicked dead.

Mia let her hand holding the phone drop to her side. She wasn’t going to cry, because this wasn’t defeat—not yet.

She had hurt Genevieve in the past. She completely understood why Genevieve may be hesitant to trust her. Mia wasn’t going to let the love of her life go without a fight, though. If, once Genevieve knew how serious Mia was, she still didn’t want a relationship, Mia would respect that.

First, though, she had to make Genevieve see how truly loved and wanted she was.

Mia had a plan.