Chapter 9 Sydney

S ix months pregnant

"Oh, wow," I whispered, feeling my throat tighten with emotion. "That's my baby." It never got old. Not once. Every time I had an ultrasound, I felt in awe of the tiny lives in my womb. An overwhelming need to protect them surfaced as I glanced at my stomach. I'd give my life for my boys and do anything to keep them safe.

"Yes." Dr. Kim smiled as she moved a small, handheld device over the gel on my belly. "And here's the other one."

Twins. The shock of it still hadn't settled. It felt surreal.

Two babies. Two sons. Fraternal, not identical.

"They look a little crowded," I mused with humor. "How am I going to have room in a couple of months?"

Dr. Kim laughed. "You will. Your body will know what to do. Just eat and rest and keep the stress to a minimum."

"I will," I promised. "I can't believe I'm already six months along."

"You've had a great pregnancy."

"Not in the beginning."

She nodded. "Yes, that's hard, but you're doing well now. Your babies are perfect."

I had to agree as I watched the two boys moving on the screen, waving their arms and legs.

"I don't see any reason why you can't carry until thirty-seven weeks. The babies have separate placentas, and their growth is progressing well."

"That's a relief."

"I'm going to take some measurements and print a few pictures for you."

I waited while she cleaned off my stomach before readjusting my clothing. Once the appointment ended, I left the room and scheduled the next one. With the ultrasound photos in hand, I left the clinic feeling hopeful and happy. My hand rested on my stomach as I walked to my truck, giggling when I felt the boys kicking.

"Calm down in there. I'm on my way to get food."

They got rowdy in the afternoon. I needed to pop through a drive-thru and pick up a snack. It would work for a few hours until they decided to get active again, usually in the late evening.

After ordering food, I drove toward home, surprised to see the lawyer's name I had hired flashing on the screen of my cell. I'd bought a car mount for my phone. It used the air vents to anchor the device, which worked perfectly because I didn't have to worry about safety. Hands-free use meant no distractions.

I swiped across and answered the call, tapping the speaker button. "Hello?"

"Hi, Sydney. This is Gabriel Burns. Do you have a few minutes to talk?"

"Sure. Is everything okay?"

"I'm sure you'll think so. We won the lawsuit."

"Yes!" I shouted, forgetting how loudly it would echo. "I'm so relieved it's over."

Gabriel laughed. "Agreed. I never considered that we'd lose, though. Would you like to know the total amount of the settlement?"

"Isn't it twenty-five grand?"

"No. He stole more than money from you. Minus my fees and court costs, you'll receive about forty."

Forty. Thousand. Dollars.

I wouldn't have to work for a long time. I'd be able to stay with my babies after their birth and figure things out without stress or worry. I could buy everything they needed and provide for my children.

"Sydney?"

"I'm sorry. I think I'm in shock," I joked.

"Yes, I wouldn't blame you. We need to review some paperwork, and it doesn't mean you'll see this all upfront. It takes time, but you'll receive the funds. You won the case. Congratulations."

"To you, too. I couldn't have done it without your help."

"I appreciate that," Gabriel replied, "but you had a strong case. I never doubted you'd win."

We made plans to meet the following afternoon, and Gabriel ended the call.

I never realized that I made it home. The entire drive was a blur. I won. Daryl had to pay back every dime plus damages and legal fees. Wow.

This news was too incredible to keep to myself. I exited my truck, focusing on the door and the pathway that led up to the house from the driveway.

I should have noticed the silver sedan parked along the curb.

"Sydney?"

My head turned, finding my parents as they approached. One look at their faces confirmed they now knew my secret. My mother's disgusted expression left me feeling angry instead of ashamed. My father's cold indifference? That wounded me the most.

"You're having a baby outside of marriage?" The shocked sentence left my mother's mouth like she couldn't believe people had sex without wedding vows.

"Yes," I answered through clenched teeth.

What right did she have to judge me? Like she wasn't a sinner who made mistakes in her life? Nobody was perfect.

"Are you going to give the baby a good home?" she asked.

It took a few seconds for her words to sink in. When I understood her meaning, I flinched like she slapped me. "Yes, my boys will live in a wonderful, loving, nurturing home because that's what I'll provide."

My mother scoffed.

"We can help you," My father offered. "The church will place them in a faith-based home."

Faith? Is that what my parents called this appalling behavior? The condemnation? The ridicule? The willful pain they inflicted?

I knew not every person who believed in Christianity or religion acted this way. I'd met some wonderful people who lived by example and never tried to guilt people into making decisions. But I didn't grow up in that lifestyle or home. As a result, I was pushed farther from the church and the people who showed up every Sunday to pay their tithe and boast about their good deeds.

I'd rather find my own way.

"No," I replied with conviction. "End of discussion."

My father hung his head, shook it, and headed toward the car. He dismissed me. So quick. So easily. It stung.

"You should pray for forgiveness and guidance. Living like a heathen and whore is the devil's work. Your sins will tarnish your children."

A sad smile tugged at my lips. "The way I'm tarnished, right?"

My mom lifted her chin, spun on her heel, and left.

Sobs rose from my chest once the car pulled away. I couldn't fight the overwhelming, negative, hateful feelings their words had conjured. It barely registered in my head that I had lowered to my knees, shoulders shaking, until a male voice called my name.

"Sydney!"

War's voice proved someone else would learn my secret and probably react in a similar way. What would he think when he realized I'd been pregnant since the night we all hooked up at the clubhouse? I'd been so good at hiding it, but in the last couple of weeks, my belly had expanded, and there was no way to keep the truth from the three bikers any longer.

My chin lifted, and I met his gaze through my tears, blinking as more continued to track down my cheeks. "War," I whispered as another broken cry shook my chest.

His knowing gaze slid over my stomach, and he backed up a step before turning those accusing green eyes on me. A volatile combination of emotions crossed his features in quick succession. Fury. Confusion. Hurt.

"I'm sorry, War. I should have told you all sooner." Sniffling, I couldn't hold back a new tide of salty tears as my head lowered. He wouldn't want anything to do with me now. None of them would forgive me for this deception.

Why did I hide it for so long? Fear? Doubt? Self-preservation?

"Is the baby ours?" His voice held an edge like he waited for me to deny it.

"Yes, but I don't know which of you," I began.

"Only a paternity test would know the answer to that."

His tone wounded me.

"You're right," I blubbered, feeling far too sorry and upset to think clearly.

War lowered to a crouch in front of me. "Fuck. Don't cry. It's fucking killing me."

"I've screwed everything up."

I HAD EVERY INTENTION of making Sydney tell me the truth. I'd been fighting the need to be near her for two months, but I couldn't get beyond the fact that she was hiding something. I felt it that day in her backyard, her reluctance to reveal the real reason she pushed us away.

But those kisses we shared? They fucking haunted me. I tried to get close to her numerous times, but she refused.

It pissed me off and built inside me until I decided to end this shit and convince her to come to the clubhouse. I rode to her place, stopping in front of the house to kill the engine on my bike. I didn't notice she was on the ground, kneeling as she wept like someone had reached inside her and crushed her heart.

I'll kill the motherfucker who hurt her.

When she leaned back, one hand resting on her stomach, I nearly stumbled at the sight of her swollen belly.

She's pregnant.

Fuck.

Is it mine? Impossible.

She kept it from me. Sydney didn't tell any of us that we fathered a baby. What. The. Fuck.

Anger swept through my body as my fingers curled into fists. How could she keep this from us? Why?

How the hell did she hide this for so fucking long? We watched her. Followed her. Hell, we hardly let her out of our sight.

I didn't understand.

Oh, wow. We were gonna be fathers.

My emotions had fucking ADD. I couldn't stay focused on any one of them, wondering what the fuck to say to Sydney that wouldn't start an argument. I fucked it up and said shit that hurt her. I saw her expression. She faltered as fresh tears slipped down her soft cheeks and dribbled from her chin.

Well, fuck. I had to fix it.

Worse, I couldn't stand to see her cry. It felt like someone stabbed me with every shattered breath she took. Pain lanced my temples as I crouched in front of her. "Fuck. Don't cry. It's fucking killing me."

"I've screwed everything up," she wailed.

I shook my head. "No, I think we all did."

Not giving her a chance to refuse me, I gently slid my arms around her, scooping under her knees and lifting her until she rested against my chest.

Sydney's head lowered to my shoulder. Her warm breath tickled the skin on my neck, and I held her tighter, unwilling to let her go even if it was only long enough to ride to the clubhouse and have her follow me.

Fuck that. I'd drive her truck and send a prospect to pick up my bike. Sydney needed me.

"I'm going to put you in the truck and drive to the clubhouse. Raptor and Trojan need to know the truth. No more secrets."

She didn't argue. "Okay."

When I placed her on the passenger seat, she blinked at me as I slid the belt around her middle, careful of her stomach.

"War? What about your bike?"

"Prospect will pick it up later."

She nodded, resting her head back against the seat.

I had too many fucking questions bouncing around in my head and didn't want to bombard Sydney. Her eyes fluttered, and I knew she was exhausted. Whatever happened to upset her, it had taken an emotional toll.

I let her rest, watching her sleep with stolen glances over the fifty-minute drive. She never woke up until I stopped the truck. It occurred to me that she trusted me, or she never would have slept like that, so vulnerable, with me in the cage.

When I parked and shut off the engine, she startled awake.

Blinking, she seemed disoriented for a few seconds. "War."

"We're here. You ready?"

She bit her lip. "Not really."

"It's just us, Beautiful. No reason to doubt or worry."

Her hand reached for mine and squeezed. "You'll stay with me?"

Her softly voiced question tugged on the heartstrings I didn't think I had before I met her. "Yeah, baby."

Did she know how her sweet trust awakened the beast inside me? How I longed to fuck her, shelter her, and kill to protect her? I doubted she would ever understand the depths of my darkness or depravity. I didn't deserve to have her in my life, but I sure as fuck wasn't giving her up.

"Then let's deliver the news."