Chapter Seven

J ax tossed the bale of hay in the bed of the truck and turned toward the sun. It beat heavily down on his cheeks. A few years ago, he'd taken a hippy-dippy yoga class for a few sessions, when he was trying to hook up with the bendy instructor. But the only thing he'd taken away from that time in his life was how to breathe and be where he was in the moment.

And that yoga instructors weren't as bendy as Hollywood made them out to be.

He focused on his surroundings and inhaled deeply. The first thing he noticed was the sound of horse hooves in the distance. They came from the corral and were punctuated with whoops and neighs of the lead ranch hand, Manny, and Sassy. The calls went back and forth, a symphony of beast and man vying for control. It felt like hoofprints on his chest, the way he ached for that life.

He sighed out the longing and breathed in the air of a different life, the one he was born into.

This time he caught a hint of moisture in the gentle breeze. It represented the long-sought-after hope after a multiyear drought; it meant water in the streams, grass in the fields, and food on ranchers' tables.

It was a good thing, so why wasn't Jax happier?

Because Jill is making me feel all sorts of things I said were off-limits.

Wasn't that the truth. He'd been kissed like there wasn't a damn tomorrow, which was normally a good thing. Except he wanted more. All of it, all of her .

Which was pretty damn inconvenient for a guy who wanted a life on the road.

But I can follow her if I'm not tied to Marshall Brothers Enterprise.

And what, make out with her from time to time whenever he passed through town? She wanted kids and all that— no way you're going there, are you?

His subconscious was a dick. A truth-telling dick, but a dick all the same.

He kicked the dirt, confusion swirling at his feet along with dust. He'd come home after their creek-kissing extravaganza to an email saying there'd be a delay for the Steel Born product that was supposed to be delivered that weekend. But it took him four hours to work up the courage to call her—not because he was worried what she'd think of the delay, but he was positive what hearing her voice would do to his resolve.

Obliterate it on the spot, actually.

That was four days ago, and he never did call back. Just a one-line text. " Got the order stuff under control. Talk soon. "

Was it too late to try again? Especially since the reason he'd hung up on her in the first place hadn't come back since. Well, if the kid didn't want a job, Jax didn't want him on the ranch. It was too much work for someone to go at it half-assed.

Either way, he'd have to see Jill in a few minutes since they had a meeting he couldn't push to email.

He loaded up the truck and was about to take off when Gander ambled over and rubbed against his leg with his head.

"Hey there, pup. Whatcha up to?"

Gander glanced back to a swath of bushes along the cliffside. He barked once, and Jax rubbed his eyes as they parted and another dog appeared, this one far better groomed and proper than Gander's wildness.

"Well, who's this?"

Gander barked again, and the sleek, yellow dog trotted over. Jax took a glance at the dog's neck. Sure enough, there was a pink collar with a tag.

"You must be Lily, huh? It's nice to meet you, girl." He gave her a hand to sniff, but she bypassed that and gave him kisses instead. Gander sidled up beside her and nuzzled her with his nose. Jax laughed. If he didn't know better, he'd say these two were sweet on one another. "Well, aren't you two cute? Gander treating you well?"

She gave him another kiss on the hand before both puppies meandered toward the copse of juniper.

"Where y'all headed?" he asked.

Curiosity got the better of him, and even though it might make him a few minutes late to his meeting with Jill, he jogged after the dogs. Only three steps inside the small semicircle of juniper bushes was Gander's bed, tucked under a branch that protected it. A couple rawhides and a ball were there, too.

"So, you two are shacking up, huh?" As an answer, they laid next to one another on the flannel oversized pillow. Jax had never considered dogs to be dainty—at least none of 'em he knew could be described that way—but darned if that wasn't just how Lily laid down and purred like a cat against Gander's shoulder.

"You two are pretty damn adorable. But you know I'm gonna have to tell your dad about this little love nest, don't you?" He chuckled.

Bennett would get a kick out of these two parading around like newlyweds. What made it even sweeter was that Gander didn't seem to care that she was knocked up already.

He bent down, gave them both a scratch under the chin.

The only thing that gave him pause was the errant thought of curling up on the couch with Lily's owner the same way the pups were cuddled in the bushes.

Hmm. Wherever that idea came from, it had no place in his head, not when he wasn't going to be around Deer Creek much longer. The kiss was enough to send him into cardiac arrest, but was it worth upending his future?

An ache pulsed in his chest, but he ignored it.

That was the one downfall to having a nomadic heart in a world built around structure and planting roots—he broke his own heart every damn day.

At least if he kept his distance from Jill, he didn't run the risk of breaking hers, too.

You're really back to running away from things again?

He grumbled a snarky comment to his subconscious.

Bad enough he had to break it to Jill that her dog was the puppy version of betrothed to a Deer Creek dog. Man—could this day get any more ridiculous? For a sleepy town, a lot sure happened around there.

When he finally made his way to the house to shower up, the kid who'd been wandering in and out of the property was there, pacing and mumbling to himself.

"Hey, I've been looking for you," Jax called out.

The shock on the boy's face was funny, since he'd been the one trespassing all week. "You—you have ?"

"Yeah. You keep disappearing when I come over to chat."

The boy's face fell. "Oh, got it. Are you Jackson Marshall?"

"One and the same. But call me Jax. You the same kid from the weekend?" The boy nodded, fear lining his wide eyes. "Well, it's customary to send an email with a résumé or at least call first, but I admire your balls, kid. Cold calling for a job works when the boss is desperate to hire."

A shadow passed over the boy's face but was gone as quickly. He straightened his shoulders, tucked his long blond curls under his Stetson. Even still, he looked young. Inexperienced. Up close, his jeans were new, still had the crease down the middle.

But his eyes. Even cast in shadow by the wide-brim hat the boy wore, they were bright, curious. Eerily familiar. Had they met in town before?

A shiver rolled down each vertebra of Jax's spine like a pebble down a barren hill. He shook it off.

"A job. Yeah. That's why I'm here. I wanna do what you do."

Jax laughed. "I wish you could, buddy. I wish you could. What's your name, son?"

The boy swallowed, his barely there Adam's apple bobbing like he had the hiccups. "Um, Ren."

"So, Wren. Like the bird?" Jax stuck out his hand and Ren grasped it. "Good grip."

"No W , but pronounced the same, yeah. It's short for Renato, my grandfather."

Jax let the name roll off his shoulders. He'd known a man named Renato once, an unforgiving bastard who wouldn't look beyond his own nose when it came to who was good enough for his daughter. He stared hard at the boy, trying to place the connection between his familiar eyes and a name that had inspired a decade and a half of self-loathing.

He raked a hand down the few days of stubble on his chin.

"So, what kind of ranching have you done, Ren? Where could my brother use you in the field?" This was Bennett's job, but he and Maggie had a doctor's appointment today. Jill would understand.

Ren held his gaze, his jaw set but bottom lip quivering. The kid was nervous.

"You have a brother?" he asked.

Jax nodded. "For better or worse. He's the boss around here. You got siblings?"

Ren shook his head. "No, sir."

"Sir was my old man. Call me Jax."

Ren just nodded; his wide, stoic eyes said he had no intention of calling Jax by his first name. Fine, whatever.

"Well, you're lucky there. Some days I wish it was just me. My girlfri—my friend —is an only child and she's pretty cool."

"I wish I had someone else. Someone I could talk to, but it was just me and my mom until—" His eyes misted over and the tremble in his lip grew more pronounced.

"Okay, listen, son," Jax said, putting his hand on the boy's shoulder. "I get it. Something horrible happened to your mom and you need a job. Am I close?"

Ren nodded again. "So, you figured you'd follow up on an ad for something where they wouldn't look too close into who you were or when you were born. Am I still close?"

"Not exactly." This time, Ren shrugged, and the familiar gesture raised the hairs on Jax's arms.

"Okay, well, you look young. Like maybe fifteen. I know I'm close on that one."

Ren jutted out his chin, defiance wafting off him. His dad must've missed the day he was supposed to teach his kid about manners, or the guy was a real sonuvabitch like his own had been. Either way, it wasn't Jax's job to teach him how to act in front of potential employers.

"Yeah, so?"

There was an edge in his voice.

"So, we can't hire anyone younger than sixteen. Sorry, son."

He turned away, feeling a pull on his heart he couldn't figure out. So what if he recognized the kid from town? He didn't owe Ren anything just because they might've seen each other before.

But he couldn't help it. He glanced back and something stopped him in his tracks.

Maybe it was the strength in Ren's stance, like he was a prize fighter used to getting knocked around.

Maybe it was the sea-green eyes that Jax couldn't shake the feeling of having seen before.

Maybe it was the way he squared off, ready to keep going. This kid either hadn't been told no or that was all he was ever dished. It was probably the latter.

Jax's chest ached. "I might be able to get you a job as a high school intern," he said, pulling from Jill's brilliant idea with the other teen who'd shown up on the ranch last week. "Do you go to Deer Creek High School?"

"No. I'm… I'm not from here."

"Hmm. Lemme see what else I can do, okay?"

Ren didn't shake his head, nod, or even blink. Finally, after what seemed like a full minute of a staring contest Jax didn't want to lose, Ren spoke.

"Why… why'd you call me ‘son'?"

Jax quirked the corner of his lips up. "It's just a figure of speech, kid. Don't get all weird about it."

The boy standing in front of him—on the cusp of becoming a man—held his gaze, but his eyes became laser-focused. The hint of familiar became overwhelming as Ren came closer. It wasn't just the green eyes but the hint of gold along the edge that made Jax rub the back of his neck. It was sweaty and uncomfortable.

"I've got to get going, Ren." But the boy didn't move. Jax threw up his hands. "Okay, fine. Tell me what you want me to do."

"You can tell me what you liked about my mom," Ren said.

Jax's stomach flipped twice before settling deep in his abdomen. The blood in his head drained to the same place. Nausea rose in his throat, acidic and hot.

"How would I know who your mom is?"

"Because you obviously liked her enough to get her pregnant."

"Pregnant?" Jax choked out. His knees lost the ability to hold him up, and he buckled. At least the wall was there to hold him up.

"With me."

Jax's skin went cold before the hammer came down to smash him into a million frozen pieces.

"I'm your son."

*

Jax wasn't sure how much time passed while the kid—no, teenager —stared at him, waiting for a response.

Maybe hours? Had the sun set? Jax couldn't tell. He was numb but somehow also cold and hot at the same time. Was he hungry? When had he eaten last? What had he eaten? Man, he should stop eating so many simple carbs. He liked salad.

Oh, yeah. He'd make a salad that night with dinner.

Dinner. He couldn't make a salad. He had—

He stared at Ren and Ren stared back. Neither moved.

Jax had dinner with his mom and Bennett again tonight.

And then here was this kid, standing there, looking like he wanted an answer. To what, again? It was something important, but he couldn't think straight.

He shook out his fingers, which tingled.

"Yeah, I get it. This is weird. But can you please say something? You're freaking me out."

Ren's voice reached in deep and pulled out a memory. Nora Kellerman's dad standing over him. Jax was fifteen years younger and only a buck fifty of scrawny muscle he thought would make him a helluva rodeo star.

Renato Kellerman didn't agree. His booming voice declared Jax wouldn't amount to anything at all.

"You're trash, son. And it might not be today or next week, but you'll be taken out to the curb with the rest of the garbage."

"Daddy, don't," Nora had cried, but Jax had seen the look in her eyes when her damp gaze locked on his. She didn't disagree. But love overlooked a multitude of sins, his upbringing included. That she cared for him in spite of his family didn't sit well with him, though.

What happened when he couldn't rodeo anymore? How would he provide for a woman, a family ?

"I don't disagree, sir. But I'm going to make it in the rodeo world. You'll see."

"Whatever happens with your career is up to you. But your ability to see my daughter anymore is up to me."

Jax had crossed his arms the same way Ren was crossing his now. He'd said something clever—or what his seventeen-year-old self thought was clever at the time—and walked away. That man's voice had stayed in the back of his mind since, acting as Jax's conscience when he wasn't sure which move he should make.

And it was the same voice in the boy in front of him.

"You're Nora's son," he whispered. His chest heaved with the herculean effort it took to say the words.

The bravery in Ren's stance as he stood stock-still, waiting to see what Jax would do, almost broke Jax's heart.

"And yours."

Before he knew it, he had Ren wrapped in a tight hug, the boy's head cradled against his shoulder.

A soft sob escaped, but Jax couldn't tell who made it.

I have a son.

It should've been a weight to carry, pressing him down, but when he pulled back, he only knew he felt lighter. Less encumbered.

"You're, uh, you're crying," Ren pointed out.

Was he? Made sense, but he couldn't feel anything except wonder at the human standing in front of him, a human he'd helped make.

Jax wiped his damp cheeks but couldn't keep the smile from pulling at his lips.

His brain, thankfully, had shut down, since it wasn't doing a damn bit of good processing this anyway.

He took Ren's cheeks in his palms and turned his face side to side.

"You have her eyes."

Ren cleared his throat. "Um, yeah. And your nose, she said."

"Did she? Well, I guess she's right. Sorry about that."

Ren chuckled, and it split Jax's chest in two.

"But you're lucky."

"W-Why's that?" Ren asked. His cheeks and eyes were damp, too, but Jax didn't want to embarrass him by calling the kid out like that the first day they met. He'd done a brave thing coming here. The rest was small beans.

"You've got my brother's smile. It quirks up in the corner like that." He pointed as Ren smiled, and yeah—it was like he was looking at Bennett. And Nora. And in a mirror. He shook his head. "This is wild. I mean—"

"I know. I was an orphan yesterday and today I have a dad and an uncle."

Heat and pressure built behind Jax's eyes again.

At the risk of bothering the kid by inspecting every cell in his face, Jax shoved his hands into his pockets.

"How—why—Jesus. Sorry, I don't even know where to start."

Breaths came short and uneven. His fingers still tingled, but so did his tongue. It was like his whole body was having an allergic reaction, but his heart thumped wildly and not without joy.

And yet… he'd sorta known since he first got an up-close look at Ren. Maybe not that he was the boy's father— holy shit, I'm a dad —but something. He'd known something .

It didn't matter. He was this kid's father despite all efforts to ensure he never had to say those words.

But Jax had loved Nora regardless. He could love this boy, too. If that was what Ren was even looking for.

He might just be looking for money or help. Jax would give that, too. He'd give anything to keep that half smile on his kid's face.

"Your mom?" he managed. "How-how is she?"

Ren's face lost its color; he dropped his gaze. Shit. Ren had said it was only him and his mom until—

"She died six months ago."

The confirmation punched Jax in his gut. And six months ago? This kid had lost the only parent he'd ever known and hadn't found Jax for half a year?

"How?"

"Car accident. She was hit by a drunk driver who's in prison now. I went to his hearing, you know, when they dragged him off?" Ren's eyes were moist, but he kept his composure. "He had a kid, too. Kinda sad two people's families were ruined because he was an idiot."

Jax's throat constricted. This was a lot. Almost too much.

But he owed it to Ren to listen to his history. His story.

"And your grandparents?"

"My granddad that I'm named after is up in Austin, but his wife died before I was born."

Jax remembered. It was how Nora and he had gotten so close—caring for and loving her through the hardest time in her life was his privilege—one her father hadn't appreciated.

"And I guess you'll tell me about the other grandparents." Ren said it so matter-of-factly, but then, how could he possibly see how Jax's world had flipped on itself and tumbled over like it'd been heaved off a cliff.

Nothing shattered, but nothing was the same anymore, either.

Stones tossed around in Jax's chest before landing one by one in the pit of his stomach. One for his brother, who was an uncle. One for Maggie, who was an aunt before she became a mother. A few fell for his mother, who'd been a grandmother already but missed the joy of wearing that role with pride. Just that morning he'd caught his mom humming as she folded a baby blanket and added it to the ever-growing pile of clothes and gifts for Maggie and Bennett's baby. She cherished the role she was about to undertake, and he wanted that for her so badly. The woman who gave everything was about to be given it all back in return.

And telling her about Ren would steal that away from her. Sure, she'd get to be a doting grandmother to Maggie and Bennett's baby, but it would be stained by the past—Jax's past—that would always be a liability, wouldn't it?

Heat pricked his eyes.

Loss permeated the tender moment.

"Did you always know—" Jax started. But he couldn't finish the sentence. It stuck like hot lead in his throat, choking him.

"About you?" Ren offered.

Jax nodded. Already his son had more courage than he did, and the kid was only fifteen.

"Not until after she died. My grandpa gave me a letter she must've written when I was a baby. It told me about you."

Jax stared up at the sun and its gentle descent behind the vermillion cliffs at the edge of the property. Ache and fear and love swirled in his heart, peppered by questions whizzing by too fast for him to latch on to.

What did the letter say?

Did she tell you how much we loved each other?

Did it mention how badly I let her down in the end when I let her father decide my worth?

"I'm so glad you found me," he whispered through the fear instead.

"Me, too." Ren laughed and it caught Jax by surprise.

His voice was so much of his grandfather, but his laugh was all Nora.

"I don't think my grandpa is, but I don't care. You're pretty cool."

"Thanks, Ren."

"Um, what should I call you? Dad seems kinda weird, but Mr. Marshall makes you sound like my football coach."

The kid played ball? The similarities between them—all unknown until they weren't—piled up. What else would they discover? Would Ren want to stick around? Hell, where did he live now that his mom was gone?

Jax ran a hand through his hair and sighed. "Yeah. Uh, let's talk about that in a sec. I'll tell you anything you want to know, and we'll figure out the rest."

Even though I have a thousand questions for you.

"Can-can I meet everyone? I want to know where I come from. You know, on your side."

Jax froze. Of course, that was okay. But how was he supposed to do that? " Hey, Mom! Set another plate—I'm bringing my son to dinner. "

"I'd like to talk to them first, let 'em know the story and then maybe we could—"

"Hey, Jax!" Bennett shouted.

Ren's eyes crinkled around the edges before they went wide and filled with moisture. Damn it. He was ruining things. It wasn't like there was a handbook for how to handle finding out you were a father to a kid you never knew about.

"Over here!" He turned around and jogged over to the house, where he assumed Bennett was coming from. Maybe if he could tell his brother real quick about Ren, spare him the details until a better time, but introduce the two…

He could save disappointing his son like he did everyone else.

"What're you doing over here? I heard you talking. Is it someone replying to the ad? I'd like to meet them before you offer them a position."

"Yeah," Jax said, his voice pitchy. He cleared his throat. "About that—"

They rounded the corner, and Jax's chest tightened.

He swallowed hard, but it did nothing to dispel the ripping terror that seized control of his limbs one by one.

"Well, shoot," Bennett chastised. There wasn't anyone there. Ren was gone. "What the hell'd you say to drive him off?"

"Who says it was something I did?" But the truth landed heavy on his chest. He'd done exactly that—run Ren off by being afraid. And Bennett would flip when he found out there was never a ranch hand to begin with. Just Jax's son.

To make matters worse, his son was missing.

Was he actually missing if he hadn't been there long to begin with?

A headache sprouted behind his eyes. The kid was fifteen and looked like he'd been taking care of himself for a while. But it wasn't supposed to be that way. It was up to Jax to help him along, even if he hadn't been there in the beginning.

And oh God. He still had to tell Jill about her dog. And that, despite his earlier admission, he was a dad, like it or not.

He swallowed hard, shut his eyes, and faced the heat of the sun above him.

"I'm not paying you to sunbathe," Bennett's voice cut through the guilt.

Jax opened his eyes, lethargy lingering in his limbs. It was too nice a day to be working on equipment and shoveling hay from bale to bed. What he wouldn't give to be Manny, roping and wranglin' like a cowboy ought to be doing. Instead, he was juggling grenades in a minefield while dodging bullets being shot at him from close range.

"Well, you can always stop payin' me." He stole a glance at Bennett and winced. "Sorry. I'll get back at it. Just appreciating the turn in the weather."

And trying not to fall apart.

"That all?"

"Yep." No use bringing up his change of world changing news until he knew what to say.

I found out I'm a dad, but my kid is gone didn't cut it.

He took a long draw from his canteen.

"Well, if the guy comes back, send him to me. Oh, um—I was thinking about unincorporating Marshall Brothers."

Jax choked and spit out the water.

"'Scuse me?"

"I know you want out, and I can't say I blame you. I've had you on management when you should be outside, working hands-on."

Okay, so they were doing this now. Here. Jax scoured the side of the building in case Ren was lingering, but he didn't see so much as an errant shadow.

"I'm working hands-on." To emphasize his point, he hurled another haybale into the truck bed. It landed with a thud.

"You know what I mean. You're doing this to fill in till I can get another guy on the ground. And that's coming. But I know you'd rather be a full-time ranch hand."

"No, I wouldn't."

"What the hell? Will you make up your mind? Because, Jesus, Jax—"

"What I mean is," Jax interrupted, "I'm not sure I wanna be on a ranch at all." He'd taken one look at Ren's clothes and come to a glaring conclusion. The kid had never so much as seen a ranch up close let alone lived on one. But it was too soon to share that particular change of heart. Better for Bennett to think he wanted his freedom still. "Maybe if it was the only choice I had, what Manny's doing for you would be the dream. But it's not."

In the pause while Bennett's chest rose and fell like each breath was the way he'd like to strangle Jax, the horse in the corral stomped and neighed. Even from here, Jax could see through the cloud of dust that rose that Sassy had given in. Was that what had happened to him? Had he given into a life that he didn't want because Matt left him no choice? And now look at those consequences.

He hadn't wanted to be a ranch guy, and yet he was.

He hadn't wanted to be a father, and yet he was.

He hadn't wanted to fall for anyone he couldn't leave behind, and yet he had.

"So, what do you want, then?"

Jax shrugged. "I actually took a job," he said. There it was, in the open.

"Doing?" Bennett asked. His jaw was set in stone like it was carved from the canyon itself.

"A rodeo team."

Not that it was a life for a teen boy, but then, he'd been a teenager when he'd loved that life. And it was good, quick money he could use to set up a place of his own for Ren. If the kid ever came back.

"Not a chance. You'll die on the back of a bull the second you sit on one."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence."

Bennett grabbed the twine on the second-to-last hay bale and lugged it over his head, tossing it on top of the others.

"It's not that I don't think you're capable. It's that you're not twenty anymore. Rodeo's a young man's game."

"I know. But you asked what I want, and that kind of life—on the road, wind in my hair—it's more who I am than any corporate job."

The heavy truth hissed out of his lungs like a necrotic leak. But it didn't matter what was him . Not when caring for a kid was on the docket.

Bennett's face twisted into a scowl. "You haven't changed a damn bit, have you? You might've grown taller but not up."

"Listen, you brought this up. I'm fine sticking around to help you and Maggie out for now, but if you don't wanna know what I want, don't ask."

The sun was directly overhead, and heat attacked from all angles—off the dirt, reflected off the rocky outcropping to their left, and even off the black metal lining the truck bed. It was gonna be the kind of summer that made all of central Texas wish they had summer homes on the Gulf Coast.

Bennett slammed the tailgate shut and stalked off.

Only three steps down the path, he turned around and poked at Jax's chest. "What about me? Mom?"

Ren? Would he really give up a stable job now that he had a kid?

"I told you I'm not going anywhere right now." Or maybe ever. "I'll stay and help."

Besides, where would he go that he could hope Ren would find him? The walls of his poor choices from a decade and a half ago closed in on him. He shouldn't ever have thought he'd be able to escape MBE or his past.

At least he had Ren to show for it. Hopefully.

"Don't do me any favors."

"I'm not, Bennett. I'm being a brother. But don't forget you're the one who brought this up. Maybe you don't want me around anymore, you ever think of that? You've got a family of your own now, a business that doesn't need one of your siblings slowing things down. Maybe this is your way of kicking me out."

Both the men's chests expanded and contracted and neither broke the other's gaze.

"You wanna take off from your responsibilities, sure, fine. Whatever. But don't pretend this is about me. You're gonna leave your family behind, too. We already have one deadbeat brother, Jax. Find a new way to disappoint Mom."

Before Jax's clenched fists could find a solid spot to land on Bennett's face, his brother was gone, only another cloud of dust marking where he'd been. Is that what he was doing? Shucking his responsibilities?

If only Ren would come back, maybe Jax could square things away with him, find the courage to introduce the boy to his family. Then maybe they could make a plan together for what came next.

"Can I get through one damn day without disappointing someone?" he muttered. His phone alarm went off, the electronic trill louder than the ruckus down at the corral. He glanced at the title he'd given the alarm and cursed under his breath.

"Shit. Speaking of people I've disappointed."

It was time to meet up with Jill to get a delivery schedule hammered out. If it were for any other reason, he'd be looking forward to seeing her again. Sure, he had a couple tough things to knock out with her, but he'd take her scrutiny over his brother's any day. Especially when it came with her laugh; it was something of a cross between a giggle and snort, and it always made him smile.

Even though it killed him, Ren would have to wait. He'd set some calls in motion, but he had to find a way to sort this mess before his family and their business fell apart, too.

It was ten after when he strolled through the doors of the town hall where he was supposed to meet Jill. It took him another two minutes to find the dang room she'd mentioned, and when he finally did, her scowl said everything her pursed lips weren't sharing.

"Before you get pissed at me for being late, I have news."

"I'm not pissed. But you have a phone, don't you?"

"I do, but—"

"But nothing, Jax. I'm just saying, my time is valuable." She gestured to the chair next to hers, but damned if he could sit still enough to take a seat. His skin felt like it might vibrate off his muscles. "We're supposed to be managing Maggie's whole company while she's out for the baby, and you may balk at that level of responsibility, but it's my dream to run this thing someday. So, whether or not you want to play ball, you will when you're dealing with Steel Born on my watch, am I clear?"

"You done treating me like a schoolkid who got detention?" He towered over her, his arms crossed over his chest, but he couldn't shake the feeling she had the higher ground here. Jesus. He'd really pissed some deity off today, hadn't he? "I'm sorry I'm late, and I'm sorry for not talking to you earlier about what happened earlier this week, but—"

"I don't want to talk about that. We don't have time."

Even though her words were laced with a nauseating blend of frustration and ire, her eyes were rimmed with moisture and her frown quivered. He'd hurt her.

He'd just have to fix that later.

"Fine. Again, I'm sorry, but I've got a lot going on right now. Stuff that changes everything."

"So do I. I lost my dog. I've taken over my friend's company—"

"That's what I've been trying to tell you. I actually found Lily."

Jill's whole face changed. Her eyes brightened and her scowl kicked up in the corners to what might be considered a smile in some parts. It warmed him, but the nervous energy buzzing through his veins didn't dissipate. He needed to finish this up so he could head out and track down Ren. He had a few ideas of where the kid might have gone.

"She's okay?"

No apology for taking him to task, but that was fine.

He took advantage of the change in her demeanor to sit across from her. Even from here, he caught a hint of the floral perfume she wore, and heat built in his chest. Best to keep whatever distance he could.

"She's more than okay."

"Oh, thank goodness. I wouldn't care if she weren't about to have a litter of puppies. Normally, she takes off for an hour or two, but it's been two weeks and I've barely seen her. Her food is always gone, so I know she comes by the house at least. Where is she?"

"That's the best part. Turns out she's been shacking up with our ranch pup, Gander, in the bushes between the two properties. Damn mutt even dragged the bed we keep for him on the porch to make 'em more comfortable. You should see them cuddling like high schoolers before curfew."

And just like that, the frown was back.

"Excuse me? That's not adorable. That's ridiculous. She's an indoor dog who's having someone else's puppies."

He figured as much. Indoor woman owns indoor dog didn't make for breaking news.

"So? She found an outdoor dog she wants to be with and who seems to like her no matter what she brings to the relationship, someone else's puppy included. It's not like she changed her mind to hurt your feelings."

"Seriously? Great. Just great. Of course, you'd feel that way."

He really didn't have time for her hurt feelings. So they'd kissed and he hadn't called. It wasn't like he'd done any of it on purpose. And now? He couldn't pursue her if he wanted to.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Jill's cheeks flushed, and damn if it didn't hit Jax right in the solar plexus. She was stunning when she was angry. Kind of a bad thing if he wasn't supposed to keep pissing her off.

"It already ruined her, traipsing around after a dog that wasn't at all interested in sticking around in one place. What happens when she falls for another one like that? She'll still be saddled with the puppies and won't have any help when we move back."

"You mean puppy support? Because it isn't a guy, Jill. It's a dog. And I think it's neat she found a dog who'll take her like this."

But the conversation landed a little close to home for his comfort. He shifted back in the chair.

"Like this? You know, it's never the guy"—Jax's eyebrows shot up—"fine, or his owners—who end up alone or with a brood of kids to take care of. Not that you'd understand."

If she knew how much he, in that moment, did understand, she'd be shocked. Maybe it would help her to know why, but he couldn't tell her before Bennett and his mother. There were extenuating circumstances he had to fix before they aired their dirty laundry.

"Why not? Because I'm an outdoor guy who appreciates that the finer things in life aren't things, I can't appreciate there might be more than just my way of living? If you're asking if I understand what it means to be responsible to someone other than myself, I do."

Jill shifted on the plastic fold-out chair. "Oh yeah? You saying that you wouldn't take off and rejoin the rodeo if they'd have you back?"

Now it was Jax's turn to squirm. He'd finally said as much to Bennett about his future job, even though, in hindsight, easy money or not, it wasn't the right move with a kid to take care of.

"I'm just sayin', they're dogs. Let them be what they are instead of trying to make 'em what they aren't to fit whatever mold you're using for your own life."

Damn if her jaw didn't unhinge right there in front of him. Her wide, wet eyes held shock. He'd struck a nerve, but then, so had she. Christ, was there one person or living creature he wouldn't do wrong by today? Living here, trying to fit his lifestyle into a box made by someone with more rigidity than him, wasn't doing anyone any favors, that was for sure.

"Sorry. And it's not all about you, you know. Either way, I'll be bringing her home." Jill's voice was soft enough to slip through the defense he'd put up. He swallowed the feelings it drummed up.

"Saw that coming a mile away. I'll warn Bennett he might not see his pup for a while. Because make no mistake, we Marshalls might be rough around the edges, but we're loyal. Gander will follow where Lily goes, I'm sure."

His chair screeched when he pushed it back against the cheap linoleum. The CAF was in a week, and they'd barely spoken in as long. Would they be able to keep both businesses afloat the way things were going?

One thing was for sure—he needed to get out of here now, the consequences be damned.

"Our meeting anything that can't be handled in an email?"

She frowned but shook her head.

"Good. I'll send you times I can be available for the local machinery drop off and what we need to coordinate to make sure this goes off without a hitch. Because no, this isn't my dream—it's my brother's, Maggie's, and yours. But I'll be damned if I mess it up for you."

He spun on his boot heels but turned back just before the door.

"You know, I'm not some hick off the street. I might have chosen a different life for myself, but I stood by my family when they needed me. And I'm doing the same thing now. So don't go thinking you're better than me because you work hard. I'm good at what I do, and I'll be as professional as I need to be until my brother can replace me. Until then, let's just find a way to work together that doesn't leave one or both of us wishing we could hop a shuttle to Mars, okay?"

Again, she nodded but didn't say anything.

"I'll send Lily on home. Have a good day, Jill Henley."

He strode out, regret close on his heels. Ranching may not be the life he'd dreamed for himself, but sure as hell he would do whatever it took to take care of the son who'd just walked into his life.

Maybe then he could stop disappointing everyone, including himself.