21. Twenty-One

21

TWENTY-ONE

“ W hat’s up?”

Jax found me when I was waiting for Sam to make her way down to the lobby Friday afternoon. I had a small suitcase with everything I would need, but I wasn’t advertising the fact that I was leaving town for the weekend.

I shrugged. “Nothing. What’s up with you?” I did my best to appear nonchalant.

Jax’s smirk was impossible to ignore. “Going out of town?” He inclined his head toward my suitcase.

“I have an audition in New York City this weekend. I’ll be back Sunday, although it will probably be late.”

“An audition, huh?” Jax’s eyebrows moved toward one another. “How does that work if you already have a job?”

“This job is only six weeks of filming,” I reminded him. We were closing in on the halfway point, and I didn’t like thinking on it too hard. That meant I was halfway through my time with Sam. Having an expiration date, a clock ticking in the back of my head, didn’t do a lot for my mental health. I brutally pushed the thought aside. “I can do other jobs.”

“So … if this show gets picked up for a second season, when would you have to be back?”

The question made me uncomfortable on multiple levels. I would come back to properly write out my character—that’s what a professional would do—but it wouldn’t be the same. “Probably at least six months,” I replied, my stomach constricting. “Normally, it would be a longer turnaround, but they’re expecting this show to do well and the writers have already written half the second season. They know what they want to happen so they would just have to flesh it out.”

“And then you guys just get called back to Salem?”

I shook my head. “We would get a start time and have to be back then.”

“So, what happens if you get whatever it is you’re auditioning for?”

“It’s a movie, and it wouldn’t start filming until after we wrap the first season. I think the shoot would last three months. That’s what they said anyway. I don’t have the exact timetable.”

Jax’s forehead wrinkled as he did the math. “Could you film an entire movie in three months and be back in time for the show?”

“Yes.” That was the truth. It wasn’t as if I was the lead in the movie. I could easily film and be back. That wasn’t the plan—I wanted to book another movie right after this one if I got it—but it also wasn’t something I wanted to talk about.

“Well, that sounds fun.” Jax had a smile at the ready. “Is it a good movie?”

“It is. Like a spy thriller thing.”

“I like those. Daisy prefers romantic comedies and paranormal stuff, but I love a good spy thriller.” He looked me up and down. “You’re not going to be the new James Bond, are you?”

“Definitely not. It’s a different sort of spy thriller.”

“Well, as long as you like the script, that’s all that matters.” He clapped his hand against my shoulder. “I guess I’ll see you Sunday.”

“Yeah.”

He started to walk away and then paused. “I’m sure Daisy will keep an eye on Sam for you.” He watched me closely for my reaction.

I took a moment to glance around the lobby—it was early so there weren’t people milling about before heading out for dinner or gathering for a bar excursion—and I was grateful. “That won’t be necessary. She’s coming with me.”

Jax’s lips quirked. “I wondered. That makes sense.”

“What do you mean? How does it make sense?”

“I just couldn’t see you leaving her for an entire weekend. You guys seem to spend every free moment together.”

“That’s not true.” It was true, though, I realized. Ever since that second night together, Sam and I had made sure to spend as much time as possible together. It wasn’t a conscious thing—at least on my part, and I very much doubted on hers—but it was there. We didn’t want to be away from one another. That’s why I’d invited her to come with me for the weekend. The mere thought of sleeping away from her for two nights was too much to bear.

What are you going to do when you have to sleep away from her every night?

I brutally pushed the thought out of my head and took a step in Jax’s direction. “Listen, it’s important that you not tell anybody about this,” I started.

He made a face. “Are you embarrassed?”

“No.” The question irritated me. “Why would I be embarrassed?”

“I was just checking. I happen to like Sam a great deal. Daisy loves her. I don’t want to see her get hurt.”

I wanted to be angry, but I couldn’t muster it. “I don’t want her hurt either. This thing, though, it can hurt her more than it could hurt me.”

Now Jax looked genuinely puzzled. “I don’t understand what that means.”

“Women get judged differently in this business. She’s considered old at thirty and they would still cast me as a high-schooler for the right part. It’s not fair. Women get judged for relationships, too. I can date eight women at once and they’ll all be ‘what a cad’ and laugh it off. If she’s paired with me in the tabloids and then even photographed with another co-star…” I trailed off.

Realization dawned on Jax’s features. “I did not think about that.”

“We’re trying to keep it quiet because…well, it just needs to be that way for now. Sam deserves happiness, and if this blows up in the gossip rags, she’s going to get the brunt of all the vitriol. Nobody expects anything from me.”

Jax looked taken aback. “You don’t want people to expect anything from you,” he said finally. “Have you considered that if you were to start expecting things of yourself, that might change?”

“And what if I can’t deal with that?”

“I don’t think you’re going to get a choice in the matter.” Jax’s expression was neutral. “You’ve coasted on your charm for a long time. You don’t engage, though. Or, you didn’t engage. You’ve been engaging more here.”

“Is this the part where you tell me I’m finally growing into a man?”

“I don’t need to tell you that. You already know it.”

“I know what I want for my future,” I insisted. “I’m glad you found your happily ever after here. You and Daisy … you guys are pretty cute together. It’s nice for you. I don’t think I’m getting a happily ever after, though. I just have to work for a happily for now and hope that I can keep it going.”

“You’re stubborn.”

I burst out laughing. “You’re just figuring that out?”

“No. I’ve seen it from the start. What’s interesting is that you remind me a little bit of myself when I came here.”

“Is that so?”

He nodded.

“I don’t remember being left a hotel by a grandfather I barely knew.”

“You get caught up on surface stuff.” Jax shook his head. “I’m not talking about the hotel. I’m talking about me. When I came here, I was positive I knew what I wanted, how things would go. I was wrong, though. I didn’t even really want the things I thought I wanted.”

“What did you want?” I was honestly curious.

“You think I’m going to say Daisy—and she is the easy answer—but she was just a piece of the overall puzzle,” he replied. “I wanted to fit somewhere. I wanted to belong. I found that here.”

“Because of Daisy, though, right?”

He nodded. “She was the first and most important piece. There were other pieces, though.”

“Can you really see me settling down here and having some happily ever after with Sam? I know that’s what you and Daisy sit around talking about when you’re bored. Be truthful, though.”

“Okay.” Jax planted his hands on his hips. “Do you want to know the truth?”

“I’m all ears.” I expected him to say something funny, or maybe even corny. What he dropped on me stole my breath.

“I don’t think you even like being an actor,” Jax replied. “I think it was an escape for you because you had some rough stuff in your past, and I get that. I can see wanting to escape.

“You light up when you’re around Sam, though,” he continued. “Melanie said you guys held hands the entire trolley ride the other day and that it looked as if you were having a serious discussion. When you were finished, you seemed happier.”

“Who is Melanie?” I demanded.

“She was your tour guide on the trolley a few days ago.”

“And she spied on us?”

“This town isn’t very big and we all gossip about each other. You need to get over that.”

“It’s rude,” I grumbled under my breath.

“Was she wrong, though?”

“I…” What was I supposed to say here? That conversation—one of the most difficult of my entire life—had also been one of the best things that had ever happened to me. Sam’s response had been exactly what I needed. She hadn’t tried to fix me or tell me what to do. She’d just listened and validated my feelings. “I can’t give her what she wants for her future,” I said finally. It was the only thing I had to fall back on here.

“I’m not going to tell you what you can and can’t do,” Jax said. “It ultimately doesn’t matter. You’re going to figure it out on your own.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

He shrugged. “I just want you to remember this moment when you do figure it out.”

“Geez. You’re kind of annoying. You know that, don’t you?”

“I am totally annoying,” he agreed. “I’m also here if you need to talk.” His eyes moved to the elevator as Sam stepped off with her own small suitcase. “You guys have fun, huh?”

I swallowed hard and nodded before my gaze moved over to Sam, who was dressed in comfortable capris and a simple T-shirt. She hadn’t bothered with makeup. She’d showered and pulled her hair back in a loose bun. She was utterly breathtaking when she smiled at me.

“See you Sunday night, Sam,” Jax called out to her as he headed for the hallway that led to the administration area of the hotel.

“Bye,” she replied. She looked confused when her eyes moved to me. “How does he know that I’ll be gone until Sunday?”

“I told him.” I inclined my head toward the front door. I was itching to touch her, but it would have to wait until we were in the car and away from prying eyes. “The rental was delivered to the parking garage. Are you ready?”

“Absolutely.” Sam smiled, and there wasn’t a cloud in the sky. “I’m going to research restaurants during the drive. If you’re paying, I want something good.”

I chuckled as I took her suitcase and headed for the door that led to the garage. “The sky is the limit, baby. Go big.”

“That’s exactly what I’m going to do.”

ORIGINALLY, WHEN I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE JUST me, I didn’t care about where I was going to stay for two nights. Once Sam agreed to accompany me, my attitude changed and I actually spent time deciding which hotel would be best. I landed on the St. Regis, what was considered a luxury hotel in Manhattan.

“Wow.” Sam’s eyes were as wide as saucers when we walked into the lobby hand in hand. Once we were away from Salem and the people who could make her life hell, I’d started touching her … and I hadn’t stopped. Whether my hand was on her thigh for the drive, or my fingers twined with hers, I wanted to touch her. This weekend was going to be special one way or another, and I had every intention of indulging my urges the entire time.

“Is this your first time here?” I asked her.

She nodded.

“I’ve been here three times now. It’s nice.” I moved to the front desk and pulled out my wallet. That required me to let go of her hand, and I was instantly colder. “Checking in,” I said as I handed over my ID.

She started typing. “I see you have one of our Astor suites,” she said. “That includes butler service.”

I nodded. I couldn’t see using the butler service, but it was included. Perhaps Sam would want to live large while I was at my audition. I could see her giggling about having a butler.

“You’re here for two nights at two-thousand-four-hundred and seventy-two dollars a night,” the clerk droned.

Next to me, Sam’s mouth dropped open.

I sent her a warning look. “Don’t say anything weird,” I whispered.

“I’ve never been in a hotel this expensive.” She was positively awestruck.

“Then you’re going to have fun.” I stroked my hand over her hair and kissed her forehead before retrieving my identification.

“You have a credit card on file,” the clerk said. “Is two room keys good?”

“That’s fine,” I assured her. I risked a glance at Sam as she looked around the lobby with fresh eyes. She seemed dumbstruck. Beautiful and dumbstruck. In that moment, all I wanted was to make her happy … and that was enough to fill me. There were no empty or dark places in my heart when the realization hit. I was content.

For how long, though? Was that even something I could consider keeping up? Whenever my head got involved, I became a pessimist. I just didn’t know what to do here.

Once we had our keys, we headed up to the room. Sam squealed as she ran to the window to check out the view, leaving me to wheel our suitcases into the bedroom. We had a king-sized bed, which was nice, and everything was clean and bright.

“So, I need food,” I said as I turned. I was torn between wanting to tackle her onto the bed and spending the rest of the night rolling around and enjoying the view, or getting food. When I looked at the window Sam had been staring out only seconds before, though, I found the space empty. “Sam?”

A moan erupted from the bathroom, and I hurried in that direction. Was she hurt? Was she sick? I hadn’t even asked if she got carsick. Thankfully, I didn’t find her on the floor next to the toilet. No, she was staring at the tub as if it were about to stand up and do tricks.

“Don’t make that noise unless I can see your face and know everything is okay,” I barked, catching both of us by surprise. I immediately softened my tone. “You scared me. I thought you were sick or something.”

Sam was rueful. “Sorry. I just have never seen a tub this size before.” She gestured toward the huge garden tub. “We could swim in this thing.”

“It’s much bigger than our tubs at the Hunter, huh?” I teased.

Reverence rolled over Sam’s features. “It’s amazing. Can we use it?”

I had never been much of a bath person. The look of hope on her face had me reacting without thinking. “Yes. I think that sounds like a fabulous idea. In fact, what if instead of going out to dinner—I promise to give you the big New York dining experience tomorrow—we get room service and then take a swim in the tub before bed.”

It was almost eight o’clock. We wouldn’t have trouble finding a restaurant to serve us. Now that I had her here, though, all I wanted to do was keep her to myself.

“Ooh. I love that idea.” She clapped her hands.

“I was hoping you would say that.” I swooped in and cupped her chin so I could kiss her senseless. There was nothing more I wanted to do but scoop her into bed and never leave. I forced myself to take a step back before I could lose myself in her, though. “Let’s order.”

I stumbled as I walked back into the small living room and had to catch myself. The room service menu was in a binder on the table. “Do you want seafood?” I asked without looking up.

“No, I want a steak.”

I lifted my eyes. “You keep telling me that red meat is bad.”

“Yes, but I need the protein injection.” Her smile was enigmatic. “I plan to wear myself out with you tonight, so I’m going to need the boost.”

My heart skipped ten beats. “That was a really good answer.”

Her giggle lit up my entire world. “Somehow I knew you were going to say that.”

I picked up the phone and called room service as I watched her start to strip in the adjacent room. I had a clear view of her through the door. I didn’t stand on preamble when they picked up.

“We need two porterhouse steaks, medium, with mashed potatoes and gravy.”

“And mushrooms,” Sam called out as she tugged her shirt over her head.

My mouth went dry at the sight of her. “And mushrooms,” I said. “We need iced tea with the meal and something to drink, too. A bottle of wine.”

“Red or white?” the bored voice on the other end of the call asked.

“Red,” I replied without hesitation. “Send up some sort of dessert too.”

“Cake,” Sam chirped. She was down to her bra and panties.

“Cake,” I said. “Chocolate if you have it.”

“We do.” The voice was prim and proper. “It’s going to be about an hour. We’re busy right now.”

That was music to my ears. “Take your time. We’ll be here.”

“We’re on it.”

“Okay.” I dropped the phone in the cradle and fixed Sam with a serious stare. “I’m about to do some very intense things to you. I hope you’re ready.”

Sam flopped on the bed and giggled again. “Bring it on.”

I stripped as I headed toward the bedroom. “Remember, you asked for it.”

“Oh, I totally did.”