Chapter 6

CHAPTER 6

PETE

Pete slid open the patio door, the cold hitting her with force as she stepped over the threshold in her swimsuit, a beanie pulled low over her ears. Everyone had gone to bed early after homemade pizza night, but she needed a moment of quiet relaxation before being able to fall asleep. After a long two days of snowboarding, the hot tub was the only cure for her aching body. She hated admitting that she wasn’t 22 anymore, that two days of snowboarding could make her feel so exhausted and sore. Her knees burned, her back was stiff, and even her arms felt heavy.

She flipped open the cover of the hot tub, sliding it to the side, and then turned on the jets, adjusting the temperature resembling molten lava. She kept the lights off, preferring the ambiance of the darkness. A? moan nearly escaped her lips as she slid into the water, letting the water rise to just over her shoulders. Pete took off her beanie, feeling warm already.

Her eyes closed and she let her head fall back against the cushioned headrest, letting the jets massage her shoulders.

Pete heard the patio door slide open and opened her eyes to see Danica standing in the doorway in a bikini.

“Sorry, I didn’t know you were using it,” Danica said quickly, reaching to shut the door.

“You’re fine, there’s enough room,” Pete said, trying to keep a casual note to her voice. She didn’t want to scare Danica away, but that woman acted like Pete was a bomb with a lit fuse. Pete had felt a bit guilty after picking a fight with Danica earlier, but it had been an easy way to get Danica’s mind off of the fact that the lift was stuck for a few minutes. She’d done the first thing she could think of, which was to take Danica’s focus and direct it elsewhere, if only for a moment.

It had absolutely nothing to do with Pete wanting the answers to those questions and not knowing how else to ask. Nothing.

“Are you sure?” Danica asked, holding her towel in front of her protectively. Neither one had mentioned the lift conversation during dinner, like Danica would rather pretend the conversation hadn’t happened. “You’re just sitting out here in the dark?”

“Yeah, quit being weird, Wendell,” Pete said, closing her eyes again, but the image of Danica in a bikini was burned into the back of her eyelids. It wasn’t the least amount of clothing she’d ever seen Danica wear, but she hadn’t expected the sight to affect her so much. Danica had always been soft, but her curves had only gotten sexier and fuller. She casually opened one eye to watch Danica climb over the side of the hot tub, pausing to tie her hair into a bun on top of her head. Pete’s own swimsuit was more of a sports bra and boy shorts style, but Danica’s bikini had minimal coverage. She could make out Danica’s ample cleavage and the pale skin of an ass cheek. She wouldn’t object to Danica’s exposed body, but maintaining eye contact with Danica’s face required effort.

“I can’t believe how sore I am,” Danica said, sliding her body into the water.

Pete’s mouth had gone dry and she struggled to pull her focus — both her eyes and brain, honestly — to anywhere but Danica’s breasts. “Yeah.”

Danica let out a long exhale, relaxing back against the wall of the tub. Pete squinted, focusing on how the white snow striped the mountain behind Danica, illuminating the runs. She could see the lights of a snowcat grooming the slopes. Even after 10 p.m., Mountain Village was still lit up like some kind of Rich People beacon to space, but she could still see a handful of constellations and a few planets despite the lights. Mars glowed brightly in the East, right between Gemini and Cancer. Sirius and Rigel were always easy to pick out, and she kept her eyes on them and not Danica’s... well, every inch of Danica that would cause her to lose the filter between her mouth and brain and say something she might regret.

They sat in silence, the only sound the jets of the tub and the occasional swish of water as one of them shifted or moved their arms.

The conversation they’d had on the chairlift hung heavy between them, and suddenly being three feet apart felt more like an ocean stretched between them. Pete glanced toward Danica, surprised to find the woman’s piercing eyes watching her, her face in shadow.

Pete’s heart ached to realize just how beautiful Danica was after all these years. She looked away before Danica could see those feelings written all over her face.

“Thanks for earlier,” Danica said in a casual, if not slightly forced, way.

A nervous laugh escaped Pete’s lips as she shrugged. She was worried about revealing her rekindled attraction, afraid of saying something she hadn’t thought through fully, afraid of ruining the moment with her vulnerability. “I don’t know what you mean.” She heard Danica sniffle in the cold air and reached for her discarded beanie. “Want this?”

Danica hesitated for a moment before reaching out to take the knit hat, pulling it down over her ears to ward off the chill. “Thank you.”

“Bikini and a beanie. Quite a look.”

Danica smiled, swirling her arms in the water. “So, where do you live now?”

“Seattle,” Pete said.

“What do you do in Seattle?” Danica asked.

Pete pursed her lips, trying to find the right answer. “Not much. I haven’t been there very long, and I don’t know if I’ll stay.”

“Still a rolling stone?”

Pete held up her arms. “No moss yet.”

“What have you been doing for the last decade and a half, then?” Danica said, her gaze inquisitive.

Pete had a strange reluctance to tell her about the app sale. It felt kind of tech bro-y in a way that she didn’t want to associate with. Way too akin to owning a Cybertruck or growing interested in day trading. Not the vibe she was going for. It felt even weirder to tell Danica that she was running a nonprofit, like she was only doing it for the bragging rights. She preferred to keep most of her life private, even from most of her friends, but especially from Danica. “Um, this and that. You know.”

Danica blinked. “I really don’t know. Hence why I’m asking.”

“Just traveling. You know me, can’t stay in one place long,” Pete lied, uncomfortable with either looking like she had a savior complex or looking like she’d never faced a responsibility in her life. Better to just let Danica assume the worst, she supposed.

“Why were you in Croatia?” Danica asked.

“Just for fun,” Pete lied again. She had spent time in Croatia, visiting two institutions for orphans and vulnerable children run by the kindest Croatian couple she’d ever met. Her goal was to find a way to bridge the funding gaps for the older teens, ensuring they had the resources they needed to live independently.

Danica shook her head. “I don’t know how you do it, never staying anywhere for long.” Her tone wasn’t judgmental per se, but more like she was self-consciously curious.

“Some of us would crumble under the weight of med school, I’m afraid,” Pete deflected. An accidental touch of legs in the water sent a jolt through her, reminding her of the mortifying intensity of what felt like a high school crush on Danica. Something had shifted between them. She could feel it in the way their eyes met before they both quickly averted their gazes.

“I nearly did,” Danica said, shifting in her seat.

“You? I don’t believe it. I bet you graduated top of your class.” Pete smiled, watching Danica roll her eyes.

“I was third. Nobody likes a show-off,” Danica said with a small stifled smile.

“Of course. And you’ve been a doctor ever since? Is that how med school works?” Pete asked.

“I wish. After med school, I did a three-year pediatric residency in Philadelphia, then a three-year neonatology fellowship back in Colorado.”

“So, of the last fifteen years, you’ve spent ten of them still in school or training?” Pete asked, horrified at the thought.

Danica nodded. “Something like that, yeah.”

Pete cursed under her breath, grimacing. “I can’t imagine anything worse.”

Danica’s laughter erupted, a burst of pure amusement. “Thank you. It’s only my life’s work.”

“Are you happy?” Pete asked, her stomach flipped in anticipation of Danica’s answer. She had begun to realize that yes, she wanted Danica to say yes, that she was happy, but she also didn’t want that happiness to be so consuming that it left no room for… other options. She couldn’t bring herself to hope that there’d be room for her.

Danica stared at her for a long moment. “With... my career?”

Pete angled her head, the warm water rising around her shoulders as she stretched her legs out across the bench seat. “With your life.”

“Who asks someone a question like that?” Danica released an exasperated sigh.

“It’s an easy question if you’re really happy,” Pete said, trying to keep her voice calm.

“Of course I’m happy. I love my job, I love Denver, and I love… my life,” Danica said, stumbling over the last phrase.

Pete watched Danica’s shoulders tense with each word. She’d spent enough time decoding Danica back in college to know when Danica was lying, because her shoulders always rose closer to her ears as her entire body tensed, like the lie made her physically unable to relax. “Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Okay, I believe you,” Pete said, biting her lower lip and looking away before Danica could make out her disappointment.

“I don’t need you to believe me,” Danica said. “I don’t care what you think at all.” Pete knew that Danica’s knee-jerk defensiveness was a sign that she’d been getting closer to letting Danica lower those walls she kept so heavily guarded. The water sloshed as Danica climbed out of the hot tub, grabbing a towel without pausing as she walked back inside, dripping water all over the patio.

Pete stared at the puddles, lights reflecting in the spilled water like the night sky. Her frustrated sigh became fog in the night air in front of her. Pushing Danica too far hadn’t been her intention, but she craved to know what Danica was like now. If they had a present, or maybe even a future, instead of just a past.