Chapter 19

CHAPTER 19

DANICA

Galloping Goose was a long green run that skirted the far edge of the resort, starting near the top of the top edge of the Black Iron Bowl and Bald Mountain. It had taken nearly an hour to get to, with the three chairlifts they’d had to take just to get so far near the boundaries. Mercifully, none of the lifts had broken down while they were on them, though they had shared a lift with teenage boys who had graciously offered them weed. They’d both declined with amusement.

Finally, finally they began Galloping Goose, and Danica was almost surprised by how flat it was, its beginning stretching wide and open with spots of trees in the middle that she and Pete wove around. She could relax on a run like this, not overthink every little bump, and enjoy herself. The view from the trail was stunning – all tall, skinny trees dusted with snow, and reaching mountains with white caps and dark rock.

She felt the exhilarating lightness of flight as she skied, her breath even and steady, a comfortable rhythm established between her and Pete as they continued to pass one another. The trail felt amazingly isolated from the resort, and this late in the afternoon, it wasn’t busy. The sun was still bright in the expansive blue sky, making even the narrower stretches of the trail feel open, where they navigated between two sets of trees or a small rocky outcropping. She could almost imagine that she and Pete were anywhere, just the two of them. And most of all, she liked that feeling.

She hadn’t been too sad when Kiera and Izzy had said they’d rather ski some intense black runs for the afternoon. After the moguls of Allais Alley, Danica wasn’t quite in the mood to try anything more difficult than the easy, long green run Pete had suggested. More so, she was grateful to have one last run alone with Pete — or rather, one more run.

Danica stole a glance at Pete, the robin’s egg blue of her jacket and bright orange pants making her easy to find, even with the glare of the sun on the snow. Danica's heart leaped when Pete glanced back at her with a warm and inviting grin, and she couldn't suppress the answering smile that stretched across her lips. Danica had promised herself that she wouldn’t let the past two days let her grow too attached to Pete, but she’d been a fool. The familiar feelings started subtly, like a gentle snowfall, each flake a memory, but the accumulating weight threatened to become an overwhelming avalanche, burying her under the weight of the past.

The run veered toward the left, winding past ski chalets and mansions. Pete pointed toward a stone behemoth with a five-car garage. “Let’s buy this one.”

“Sure,” Danica answered. “We’d never have to leave. An entire grocery store could be in there.”

“Which is perfect, because then I could spend all my time at home with you, completely naked, never having to bother with clothes again,” Pete whispered.

“Wow, you’d just never let me leave or get dressed?” Danica teased. “What makes you think I’ll put up with that?”

“I can be very convincing,” Pete called back over her shoulder.

Danica snorted in amusement, shaking her head. “I think we might need something slightly smaller.”

Pete shrugged playfully, letting Danica ski past her. “Nope, it definitely has to be that big.”

“And why is that?” Danica asked, slowing so that she and Pete were side by side.

“There are many, many places I’ve daydreamed of fucking you,” Pete said with a tone that made Danica’s toes curl in her boots. “And I intend to see those plans though.”

Danica’s face flushed behind her balaclava. Pete was just saying that, right? Her insides twisted as she tried to judge whether or not Pete’s suggestion had a hint of seriousness behind them. Was she really suggesting a future together? Or was it just their physical connection she meant? She could see Pete’s sly smile as the two of them slowed upon approaching the junction of multiple runs, working to avoid being barreled into by other skiers.

Danica quelled the thought, anxious to turn the conversation safely away from the reality of what tomorrow might bring. “Want to go back to the condo and make good on some of those plans?” Danica asked.

Pete nodded emphatically toward the Chondola lift, where both chairlift seats and gondola cars used the same line. “What do you say we get in one of the gondolas and start right away?” She bent to unstrap her bindings.

“You’re shameless,” Danica said, unclipping from her skis.

Pete stood and grabbed her around the waist, playfully knocking their helmets together with a gentle tap. “I just want to soak up every moment I have with you.”

The muscles in Danica’s cheeks were pleasantly sore — a testament to the hours spent smiling. “Me too.”

She tried not to note how Pete had used the present tense.

Danica’s skis and Pete’s snowboard were propped against the potted plants that Danica had desecrated just one week before. Pete’s breath was warm on the back of Danica’s neck, distracting her as she tried to type in the ridiculous key code for the door. Kiera was a woman of multitudes, using a code like ‘boobies’ for the door, but then judging her for having a casual fling with an old flame. Maybe tonight she and Kiera could have a glass of wine and clear the air. She loved Kiera, and she wanted them to get back to their normal familiarity. Though the fun with Pete was temporary — or so she kept telling herself — long-term friendships were sacred.

Pete’s lips were on her neck, making goosebumps rise along her spine. How did Pete remember that would make her knees buckle? She took a moment to close her eyes, letting Pete’s mouth glide over her skin, Pete’s arms pulling her closer. The sweet coconut and apricot scent of Pete enveloped her.

“You’d better open that door faster or I’m going to have to fuck you up against the front porch wall for all the neighbors to watch,” Pete murmured into her ear.

Danica turned her head slightly, raising a brow at Pete. “Like I said, shameless.”

“Only when it comes to you,” Pete said, her fingers light on Danica’s chin to angle her face up for a kiss.

Danica began to turn in Pete’s arms, strongly considering whether or not she might enjoy a touch of exhibitionism, as the front door opened. She turned, expecting to find one of her friends at the door, but she stilled, her brain taking a moment to catch up with what she was seeing.

It was Eddie. Eddie was here, in Telluride, in Aunt Jade’s condo.

Danica’s skis clattered to the ground and Pete tensed behind her.

His Banana Republic quarter-zip was undone at the neck, and the stubble on his chin was a change from his usual clean-cut appearance. Judging by his chinos and loafers, he hadn’t come here to ski.

“What are you doing here?” Danica asked, her voice hard.

The door opened wider, and then Kiera was standing beside Eddie, her expression completely unreadable. Her discomfort showed only in the droop of her shoulders. “I invited him.”

“Why?” Danica asked.

Pete moved to stand beside Danica as she folded her arms over her chest. “What the fuck, Kiera?”

“I was hoping that we could talk,” Eddie said, taking a step back to allow them in.

“Are you… okay? Do you need anything? Do you want me to come with you?” Pete asked Danica in a low voice.

Danica glanced from Eddie to Pete, where the two were sizing each other up. She rolled her eyes. “No, I’ll be fine.” She turned to look at Kiera, narrowing her eyes as she stepped in from out of the cold and removed ski jacket. The urge to scream, to run, to explode with rage, or to bury herself in her room until it was all over, overwhelmed her.

She led Eddie to her room so they could speak privately, shutting the door before leaning back against it, her arms crossed over her chest. “Alright, say what you need to say. I know it was a long drive, so I’ll let you get it out before you have to go back on the road.”

“Actually, I flew,” Eddie said, rubbing at the back of his neck awkwardly.

Danica sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. Just the thought of the car ride back to Denver made her stomach churn, especially since she would be alone in a car with Kiera for six hours.

Eddie took a step toward her, but she put out her hands to keep him from touching her. His blinding smile flashed as he raised his own hands in surrender. “I know you didn’t expect to see me this week, but Kiera reached out, and so I came.”

Utter betrayal made Danica’s insides clench as she considered her best friend and her ex-fiancé plotting to surprise her in this way. Kiera’s claim that she was ‘Team Danica’ was absolute bullshit. “Why?” she asked flatly.

“I love you, Danica. I want to make things right and be with you. We can act like this never happened. It could just be a bump in the road,” Eddie said. Had his eyes always been so bloodshot?

“No, why did Kiera reach out? What did she say?” Danica clarified.

Eddie sputtered. “She said that she wasn’t sure exactly what happened between us, but that it might be worth coming here to try to salvage it. She said that she was worried that you were falling into old patterns, and that?—”

“How did she have your number?” Danica asked.

Eddie angled his head in confusion. “What?”

“How did Kiera even have your number to contact you?”

“She reached out on Instagram,” Eddie clarified.

Danica let out a forceful breath. “Show me the message she sent.” Her words were steady and clipped and she was nearly boiling with anger.

Eddie’s eyes darted toward his phone. “Why?”

“Show me,” Danica said, holding out her hand. She’d normally not be so demanding about seeing his phone — she’d never asked before, but she was so done. So done with this entire charade. Something felt very wrong here, and she’d spent her entire life silencing that gut feeling, but not anymore.

Eddie stared at her for a long, uncomfortable moment. Then he sighed and pulled his phone from the pocket of his khakis, typed in his passcode, and handed the phone to Danica. She opened his Instagram app and then the DMs. She noted messages from other women, but he was single after all. Seeing the women in his DMs didn’t make her jealous, but her focus zeroed in on the thread with Kiera. Danica leaned back in the chair and looked through the messages. A year ago, they’d started talking to plan a surprise visit from Kiera, but then the messages had stopped until yesterday, right before the spa trip.

“I’m worried about Danica. She’s making bad, reckless choices and not being herself.”

Kiera made it sound like Danica had started taking hard drugs and charging strangers for sex work.

Eddie’s replies grew increasingly worried as Kiera brought up specific references about Danica falling into old habits with her college girlfriend. A lump lodged in Danica’s throat as she read a message from that morning, “I don’t want Danica to lose you. If you want to work things out, you should come.”

Rage, a violent red, filled Danica's vision; her jaw clenched tight, and her hands shook, the tremor spreading through her arms. What was Kiera thinking? The betrayal felt like a physical blow, a sharp stab of pain that left her reeling, never expecting such behavior from her best friend.

Eddie paced the room, his face contorted with worry as his lips moved, but Danica didn’t hear a word as she read the messages. Her anger wasn’t directed at him — not this time, at least. Eddie hadn’t been a bad boyfriend; he just wasn’t right for her. Her time with Pete had made her realize that no matter what the future held, she wanted a partner who challenged her, who saw her when she was guarded and worked with her to bring down those walls. Someone who she wanted to come home to, not out of obligation but out of excitement. Someone like… Pete.

As Eddie paced, she felt nothing but pity for him, as he ran his hand through his short, receding hair.

She sighed, standing. “Eddie, I’m sorry, but you need to leave.”

He stopped, gaping at her like a fish out of water. “What? But what about us, Danica?”

“There’s no us,” Danica said, shaking her head. His shoulders slumped, like he was defeated. She patted his shoulder. “I’m sorry Kiera told you to come.”

“What was happening that Kiera thought was so reckless she messaged me?” Eddie asked, his tone exasperated.

She chewed her lower lip, considering exactly how much to say. “It’s a long story,” Danica answered.

“You can tell me,” Eddie said, his eyes pleading.

Danica sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. She was going to kill Kiera for this. “The only thing you need to know is that nothing has changed between us. It’s over. You broke up with me, remember?”

Eddie looked so defeated that her pity turned to outright worry. When had he perfected that sad puppy look, complete with big, pleading eyes and a slight tremble to his lower lip? Had he ever used that before on her? “But what if that was a mistake? I can’t stop thinking about you.”

Danica let out a heavy sigh. “Our breakup wasn’t a mistake. You being here is, though. So, I need you to leave.” Eddie began to protest, but Danica gave him a sharp look.

“There’s only one flight out per day, and it’s already gone,” he said finally, so defeated his shoulders slumped.

“Okay, well, I’ll book you a hotel and then you can fly back tomorrow,” Danica offered.

She’d once thought Eddie was tall and self-assured, but he looked like a sad, lost boy right now.

She walked out of her room and found Pete and Izzy in the living room, standing in front of Kiera, who was sitting on the couch. Kiera looked flustered and upset. Izzy was red-faced. Danica searched Pete’s face, and her heart ached at the confusion and hurt she saw there. Kiera stood and hurried from the room in a huff.

“Everything okay?” Pete asked, eyeing Danica.

“Yeah, um, Eddie’s leaving.” Danica said, pulling out her phone to book him an Uber and a hotel. She didn’t care how much it cost, just that it was available. Was he fully capable of doing all of this himself? Of course he was, but she wanted it done immediately and correctly. She’d learned long ago that those two things only happened when she did them herself. She booked him a car and then turned toward Pete and Izzy. “I’m going to go talk to Kiera. Please, be nice.”

Pete shifted from one foot to the other, clearly uncomfortable, but Izzy inclined her head politely. “I’ll keep an eye out for his ride,” Izzy said, and her support surprised Danica.

She turned, walking back down the hall to Kiera’s room. She’d been far less nervous talking to Eddie than she was now, knowing she had to address this situation with Kiera. So many emotions were swirling inside of her. The betrayal, the rage, the frustration, and the deep hurt that crushed her most of all — they all fought for space inside her brain, and she didn’t know how to quiet them in order to think properly.

Her hand closed around the doorknob to Kiera’s room, and without even pausing to knock, she shoved the door open. Kiera had her suitcase on the bed and was hurrying around the room, throwing her things inside.

“What the fuck, Kiera?” Danica said, and she wasn’t proud of her tone or her words.

Kiera didn’t say a word, just shuffled around the room with her shoulders slumped, walking into the bathroom and throwing her makeup into a toiletry bag.

Danica followed her, leaning on the doorframe. “So, you’re leaving?”

“Why would I stay?” Kiera mumbled. “Izzy and Pete hate me. You hate me. Eddie hates me.”

“No one hates you.” Danica’s words were automatic. She was still in shock. “I just want to talk about...” She gestured back toward the door. “Why Eddie is here?”

Kiera paused, her face blotchy as she met Danica’s eyes. “Well, you obviously hate me.”

Danica stifled an exasperated sigh. “I don’t, actually. I’m pissed, but I’m trying to understand what you were thinking.”

Kiera stared down into her hands, silent.

The silence was heavy and unsettling, a stark contrast to the turmoil Danica felt inside. In the four years they were roommates, and the fifteen years since, they’d been in dozens of fights. They’d had every kind of argument, from inane disagreements about air diffuser scents to all-out screaming fights. Danica paused, realizing that their worst fights had always been about Pete. Specifically, about how Kiera always claimed Danica was wasting her time with Pete.

Danica internally fumbled for some way to understand Kiera as she watched her friend shuffle through her makeup, the plastic cases clicking together in the quiet room.

“Did you do this to stop whatever is going on between Pete and I?” Danica asked as calmly as she could.

Kiera tucked a lock of hair behind her ear, catching Danica’s eye in the mirror. “You lied to me,” she said, her voice cracking. “You let me think that you were still with Eddie, and I saw you throwing that away for some fling with Pete.”

“But you didn’t stop when you learned Eddie and I were broken up. So, what do you have against Pete?”

“She’s always been your greatest weakness.”

Danica blinked, shocked. “That’s so dramatic and unnecessary.”

“You know I’m right. You see Pete and the entire world fades away, all of reality just ceasing to exist. I could see you do it again, and I thought you were doing it to Eddie, too.” Kiera zipped her makeup bag shut. “Tell me you wouldn’t have talked to Alex if you thought I was cheating on him.”

“Fuck Alex. I don’t care about Alex. I would have talked to you.” Danica asked, her tone defiant.

Kiera pushed past Danica in the doorway to throw her makeup bag and toiletries into her suitcase.

“Is that what this is? Is this about Alex’s affair?” Danica asked, her words coming out crueler than she’d intended.

“You lied to me!” Kiera snapped, her voice getting louder.

“I did,” Danica said, sighing. “I did. And that was fucked up. I’m sorry.” She paused, watching Kiera move two pairs of boots around in her suitcase to try to make them fit. “I wasn’t ready to tell you. I wasn’t ready to tell anyone.”

“Why?” Kiera asked, grimacing.

Danica sat down next to Kiera’s bags and said, “I felt like I failed.”

“So then why don’t you give Eddie another chance?” Kiera honestly looked earnest.

Danica scoffed. “Because I don’t want to, and you need to respect that.”

“Is this another one of your pride things?” Kiera asked, her tone almost smug.

A surge of fury tightened Danica's muscles, her body rigid and tense. “Excuse me?”

“I thought things were good with Eddie. You two seemed happy,” Kiera said. “Why would you throw that away because of Pete?”

“First of all, Eddie broke up with me a month ago. He said something was off, and that we weren’t right together, and you know what? He was right. And second, I’ve been happier this week than I have in… years, and you should be happy for me,” Danica explained, anger giving way to exhaustion.

Kiera rolled her eyes. “Being with Pete is like going to Neverland. No one has any responsibilities and you get to play pretend with her for a while. But she always drops you back into reality and then leaves again. Pete might be fun, but you could actually have a future with Eddie. He exists in the real world, and you’re letting him just slip?—”

“Stop.” Danica held up her hand to keep Kiera from continuing. “Just stop. I don’t want to be with Eddie. I don’t even want to be friends with Eddie. And I’m not some stupid woman who has let herself be whisked off to play pretend with Pete. I’m not dumb. I know that Pete and I don’t have a future.”

Kiera looked at her, her jaw clenched tight. “But you and Eddie could have a future. Alex and I aren’t happy right now, but we’re working through it. Relationships aren’t all sunshine and roses. They’re hard work.”

Danica stiffened, clenching and unclenching her fists. “I don't need a lecture on what relationships are supposed to feel like. You’re just miserable in your marriage and you want me to be miserable, too.”

A beat of silence made Danica instantly regret the cruelty of her sharp words.

Kiera looked at her with shock, like Danica had just slapped her across the face. “Well, when Pete breaks your heart again, like she always does, I’m not going to be there to pick up the phone at 3 a.m. to listen to you cry. So, I guess we really will both be miserable, won’t we?” With that, Kiera zipped her luggage shut and swung open the door, finding Maggie, Pete, and Eddie just outside of it and looking guilty. Pete was focusing very intently on some vintage ski art on the wall, oddly.

Kiera huffed and stormed past them, stomping down the hall and leaving Danica sitting on the edge of the bed. For all her worry, Pete wouldn’t be the one breaking her heart at the end of this week, because Kiera already had.