EPILOGUE

Samuel holds my hand tightly. I confess I return the grip with equal fervor. I knew that this was coming, but like all people, I found it easy to pretend that because the moment wasn't here, it would never come.

The car pulls to a stop in front of the house, and Derek Ashford steps out. He looks so much like Johnathan that I have to blink a few times before I notice the subtle differences that set apart the younger of the Ashford brothers.

Samuel squeezes my hand, then pulls away and runs to his uncle. "Hi, Uncle Derek!"

Derek grins and picks him up. "Hey, buddy! Oh, damn. You're getting heavy!"

"Language!" a pretty blonde woman around Cecilia's age says.

"Oh, sorry," Derek says. "Son of a bitch, you're getting heavy!"

Samuel giggles, and Derek puts him down to greet the other children. Isabella hugs him tightly, and the two of them squeeze tears from their eyes for the duration of their long embrace. When he releases her, he pulls Elijah close, then holds him at arm's length and speaks quietly to him.

"You must be Mary," the blonde woman says. "I'm Shawna. Derek's wife. Obviously."

She chuckles, then bites her lip anxiously. "How are you doing?"

I manage a smile I don't quite feel. "I'm all right. The scratches won't leave scars, I'm told. That's good news. I was only barely pretty before them, so I'd hate to lose what little I have."

She laughs and looks back at the children, who are still talking to their uncle. "How are they doing?"

My smile fades a little. "They've lost both their parents now. So, not very well."

Shawna nods. "Have they talked to her?"

"Samuel has. She seemed all right with him. I wasn't in the room, but he didn't come out any sadder than he was when he entered. The other two refused to see her."

She scoffs. "I don't blame them. It's just so horrible. How does a woman kill the father of her own children? I mean, I know it happens, but… how?"

I think of the smiling, carefree girl I see in the picture of her and Richard and compare that to the frazzled, neurotic woman who nearly kills me in her garage. Then I think of her children, all of who struggle with their own depression but all of whom have turned out well-balanced regardless.

"She wasn't always evil," I say, "and she loved her children dearly."

"How can you love your children and do something like this?" she asks.

I think for another moment, then say, "She felt trapped. She entered life as we all do with a dream of her perfect future. And every day, she saw that future whittled away until there was nothing left but emptiness. I think she held on for a long time for the sake of the children, but I think eventually, it became too much for her. Maybe she looked at herself in the mirror and realized the lines in her face were growing deeper. Maybe she saw Elijah growing into a man and realized that the only good parts of her life would leave her in a few short years. Maybe he did something to anger her, and all of the resentment and hate she felt caused her to snap."

"Not to be rude," Shawna says, "but those are all shitty reasons."

"Of course they are," I agree. "I have no love for Cecilia. She chose to act extremely selfishly, and it will hurt her children for the rest of their lives.

"But I sympathize with her. It's very easy to reach constantly for the past and wish one could change it. It's very difficult to accept that the past is what it is and the best we can do is reach for the future."

Shawna nods. "I guess so." She shakes her head. "Well. We'll do our best for these kids. They're what matters."

"Yes. They are."

The children load their belongings in the car. One by one, they say goodbye.

Samuel is the first. He throws his arms around me and hugs me tightly. "I'll never forget you, Miss Mary."

"And I'll never forget you."

He squeezes me again, then kisses me on the cheek. Then he jogs to his waiting aunt and uncle.

Elijah is next. He hugs me just as tightly as Samuel and gives me a sad smile that is far too adult, even for one as close to that horrid time of life as he is. I grip his shoulders and say, "Do not let your grief consume you. Go be happy. Not for your mother, or your father, or even for your brother and sister. Do it for you."

He nods and says, "All right. I will."

I smile at him. "Good boy."

Isabella is last. She doesn't hug me at first. She stands awkwardly and smiles up at me. "So I guess this is it."

"It is," I confirm. "For now."

She nods and looks past me at the grounds. "Where will you go?"

"I've been offered a position with a family in England," I reply. "I… I feel a change of scenery will be beneficial to me."

She chuckles. "Yeah. I know what you mean."

We fall silent a second. Then she meets my eyes. "Thank you. For not giving up on me."

"Of course, dear. But what's important is that you didn't give up on yourself."

She smiles at me, a real smile this time. Then she too embraces me.

"Good luck, Mary."

"Good luck, Isabella."

Then she leaves. I stand on the porch and watch as the car heads down the driveway. The gate is left open—nothing to hide in Ashford Manor anymore—and the new Ashford family turns right and leaves the darkness of this place behind them forever.

I take a deep breath and release it slowly. Then I grab my bags and load it into the back of the car where Javier waits for me.

A moment later, I too bury the past behind me and head toward what I hope will be a better future.

But no sooner do I think that than I feel cold fingers slide over my shoulder. My smile fades, and a shiver runs through me. The children have the chance to turn over a new leaf. But mine remains where it always was, where it's been ever since I come home to find my apartment ransacked and my sister gone.

I look out the window at the sun setting behind the clouds. It could be a trick of the light, but it seems to me that I stare into an empty black abyss.