Chapter 14

“If he was going to catch us, he’d have done it by now.”

Flynn leaned against a tree, breathing hard.

Kennedy stood a few feet away, also breathing hard. “No—he’s out there.”

Flynn stood up. “I think Axel did something—I don’t know what, but you don’t know him. He’s not going to let Dillon get us. Or he’ll die trying.”

Her words froze her. Oh no . . .

She looked back along their path. They’d broken branches, trampled leaves, plowed through thickets . . . Anyone hunting them would need to be blind not to find them.

And they weren’t moving fast—not with her knee thickening with each step.

“He’s back there, with Dillon. And—” She shook her head. Looked at Kennedy. “You’re right. I led him right to you. Because I just couldn’t let it go. Let you go. I should have let it be?—”

“Hey.” Kennedy took a breath. “Listen. I never meant to just . . . play dead. I was scared, and maybe I found something, too, in that community. But mostly, I just thought—hoped—that he might forget about me. Let me go . . .” She stepped closer. “This is not your fault.”

“Oh, yeah it is. I completely roped this poor man into helping me—or at least, didn’t say no when he offered. And this is why I don’t do partners. But at the very least, Axel is in big trouble, and I’m not going to let him die on my watch.” She picked up a stick. “You keep going. Find help—the Air One team is hopefully looking for us—no, probably looking for us. Get to the river. Follow it out to the road.”

“I know how to get out of here, Flynn. But if you think for one lousy minute I’m leaving you, then you don’t know me.” She smiled. “I’m you, remember?” She stepped up to Flynn and put her arm around her waist. “I’m tired of hiding.”

“I’m tired of letting this guy win.”

Flynn didn’t think they’d run far, but the trek back seemed an eternity—mostly because they ducked behind trees and treaded in new places, her eye out for Dillon.

In truth, he could probably spot them a half mile away through his scope, and why he hadn’t shot one or both of them had her more and more wound up as they fumbled their way through the forest.

They came to the clearing where they’d left Axel.

Nothing.

She looked at Kennedy. Then, “Axel?”

Nothing.

“Flynn—” Kennedy pointed to the pit.

The net had been torn away, and Flynn spotted muddy scuff marks of boots digging into the loam.

Oh no—no?—

She let go of Kennedy, made to the edge of the pit. Stared down.

An odor of death emanated from the mire, the water murky and dark. She couldn’t see to the bottom, but it had recently been stirred up, debris floating on the surface, moving as if the water might have a current.

Or as if bodies were fighting beneath the surface.

“Axel!”

“There!” Kennedy motioned to something surfacing at the far end of the pit. Hunchback—no, a backpack.

Floating free.

“Axel!”

Then another form surfaced. Bobbing up, rolling over, his face pale.

Axel.

He looked dead.

“Is he breathing?” Kennedy said.

“I don’t know—Axel!”

He didn’t move, and no, it didn’t look like he was breathing.

“We have to get him out of there!”

“I’m going in.” Flynn dropped the stick and, just like that, jumped in.

Not as cold as the river, but dank and thick, like swimming in oil. She swam over to Axel, put her hand to his neck.

A heartbeat. But . . . no breath. “Get help!”

Kennedy took off running.

Flynn tucked her hand under his neck, moved his face to hers, and breathed for him.

The air spat out of him, water spewing from his lungs.

That’s right, get it out. She blew again, and his body shuddered. More water.

She blew again, and another jerk.

“Stay with me!”

She kept breathing for him, checking his pulse. Still the heartbeat?—

She didn’t know how long she’d gone before a body landed in the water next to her.

Shep. “Let’s get him out of here!” He grabbed Axel by the armpits and swam him against the wall. Barking sounded above, and a ladder came down into the hole.

She looked up to see Jericho and Moose above, Wilson beside them. Moose scrambled down the ladder, grabbed Axel’s vest, and he and Shep pulled him up.

Flynn climbed up after them, stood watching as Boo started breaths.

Axel’s body shuddered again.

“He’s getting air, but there’s a blockage.” She rolled him over and pressed on his diaphragm, and water spewed out of his lungs.

Then she rolled him back and started again.

His chest rose and fell. Flynn wrapped her arms around herself.

C’mon.

Again.

She closed her eyes. “Trust me.”

Not her voice. Oh, she wanted to—and really, what else did she have?

Please, God, save him. Because you can, and you’re good, and I know this with everything inside me. Even when it doesn’t feel that way.

“He has too much water in his lungs,” Boo said between breaths.

Flynn knelt next to him. “Listen here, Phoenix. You have at least one more life left. So use it!”

Another breath, then his body spasmed and he began to cough. Boo rolled him, and his entire body turned into a knot as he retched and spewed water from his lungs.

Then he lay back, spent, breathing hard, his eyes closed.

Flynn took his hand.

He squeezed it.

And then she bent her head to his and started to weep.

Everyone went quiet, just her sobs wracking through her.

Oh, it wasn’t worth it, for him, for her. And for a moment, his words hours ago on the river came to her again.

“I can’t.”

He was right. Because she couldn’t either.

Finally, softly, she felt a hand on her head. “It’s okay, Sparrow.”

No, not even a little.

But she couldn’t tell him that now. She leaned up, wiped her face. “Do not do that to me again.”

He looked wrung out, his eyes reddened, his face grimy, but he managed a stupid, beautiful, heartbreaking smile. “Drown with a serial killer? Okay, deal.”

She sank into the grass, not sure. Wait. “What do you mean ‘drown with a serial killer’? Where’s Dillon?”

Behind her, Wilson was speaking, or at least making sounds, gasps, and tiny hiccups of horror. “Is that . . . Oh my—no, what—” His knees buckled and he landed in the dirt. “No . . . Dillon. Not like this.”

She looked over, and Shep and Wilson stood on the side of the pit.

“He floated to the surface, didn’t he?” Axel said, his voice raspy.

She looked away, not sure how to reckon her feelings.

Kennedy came running up, breathing hard. “I went to the village, and then I saw the guys show up with the dog—they found you—I don’t know how.”

“That would be Orlando,” Jericho said. “I don’t know how he found your scent. We met Moose and London at the cache cabin, where they put down to give Parker to her dad—she’s on her way to the hospital. But Orlando took one whiff of Parker, and the minute we landed, took off this way.”

She looked at him, back to Axel. “Parker had his shirt.”

Jericho dropped a hand on Orlando’s head. “Good dog.”

Kennedy dropped next to her sister and put her arm around her. “You okay?”

“Nope.” Flynn looked at her sister, then leaned into her embrace. “But I will be.”

“Kennedy?”

The voice made them both look up.

Sully stood there, his mouth gaping, his eyes wide.

Flynn looked at Kennedy, who gasped and let her go. Stood up. “Sully?”

She took a step toward him but he held up his hand. “To be clear, you are Kennedy, right? Not another twin.”

She frowned, glanced at Flynn, then back to Sully. “It’s me, Sul.” She took another step toward him, and it seemed his entire body shuddered.

“Can I?—”

She launched herself at him, her arms around his neck, and he pulled her up, buried his face in her neck. Then he set her down, cradled her face, and kissed her.

Oh, did he kiss her.

Moose raised an eyebrow, and Boo nodded, grinning.

Then Shep returned from the chopper with a litter, and they moved Axel onto it.

“This is unnecessary,” he said.

“For the love—just stay there and pipe down,” Moose said, shaking his head and stalking out to the chopper.

Flynn looked at Axel. “You scared him.”

“Mm-Mmmhmm.”

“You scared me too.”

“I know. But you started it.”

She sighed. Glanced at Wilson, who sat by the pit, his hand over his face. No, she hadn’t. She’d just finished it.

Still, even as she looked at him, something wouldn’t settle inside. She’d really thought . . .

“No more monsters,” he said quietly.

She looked at him. “Let’s just take a moment to breathe, okay?”

The guys picked up the litter and carried it to the chopper. London got into the cockpit. Moose was on the radio to Deke.

Kennedy held hands with Sully as some of the colony members came out.

“We’re going to need to bring Donald in,” said Axel. “He’s hurt.”

“He’s fine,” Kennedy said. “We have our own medical facilities, and he’s already getting stitched up.” She sighed. “But you should know that Dori was his daughter. He hadn’t heard from her since she left, so . . .” She looked away, sighed. Then to Flynn, “Thank you for ending the questions, at least.”

Flynn pulled her into an embrace. “That’s what I do.”

“I know,” Kennedy whispered.

Flynn leaned away. “Oh, by the way . . . this is yours.” She reached up and unhitched the necklace with the double hearts. Then she slid one heart charm off, held it in her grip, and made to put the necklace on her sister.

Kennedy held up a hand. “Nope.”

“What?”

“That half heart doesn’t belong to me anymore.”

Flynn frowned.

“It belongs to him.” She pointed to Axel, now being covered in a blanket and strapped into the chopper.

Oh.Flynn closed the chain inside her grip, then slipped it into her pocket.

“By the way, I see you bought one of my pieces.” Kennedy touched Flynn’s necklace. “Did I hear Axel call you Sparrow?”

“It’s a long story.”

“Mmm. Not even a sparrow will fall outside the Father’s care.”

Flynn frowned.

“It’s a Bible verse. Probably a good one for you to remember.”

“You too.”

Kennedy smiled. “Tell Mom and Dad I love them.”

“You should tell them yourself.”

Kennedy looked at Sully, who held her hand. His eyes shone, his gaze on her. “Maybe I will.”

“Let’s go, Flynn,” Shep said. “We need to get Axel some antibiotics for all the goo he ingested. Deke is flying out here to take care of business.”

Flynn nodded, then turned back to Kennedy. “Sorry for the trouble.”

“No, you’re not. But I love you for it.” Kennedy squeezed her hand, then stepped back as Flynn got in, closed the door.

The rotor wash lifted Kennedy’s red hair, stirred it, and she leaned back into Sully’s arms, Jericho’s dog barking wildly.

Flynn settled back, pulling on her headphones but hearing Barry’s voice, deep and resounding through her. “When God is in control, even death and decay can turn into good.”

Maybe, yes.

Boo had set Axel up with oxygen, and he lay strapped into the litter, eyes closed. Flynn watched him for a moment.

Yes, breathing.

Her Jack. Rescued.

She turned, her eyes wet, and looked out the window as the sun crested behind the high mountains, refusing to fall, refusing the darkness.

Then she leaned her head back, closed her eyes, and slept with her face to the light.

* * *

Axel woke up out of a pretty decent dream. He’d been diving, deep in the blue, the water cool but not frigid, so not in Alaska, thank you. Someplace warm, the sun on the water, its rays hitting deep into the reef, illuminating the rainbow fish and blue gills, and he could breathe. Deep, full breaths that satisfied his lungs, settled into his bones.

He’d drifted, letting the current take him.

And then pressure on his arm woke him, and Axel opened his eyes to a nurse—the same one as a week ago—but still, it felt like a small millennium—who’d taken care of Flynn.

He couldn’t remember her name, but she seemed familiar, her eyes kind when she stripped the cuff off him. “Good morning, sunshine.”

He opened his mouth, but it was caught under an oxygen mask. He reached up to move it, and something pricked his hand. An IV.

“You just keep that on until we can check your stats.” She readjusted his mask. “The doctor will be in soon. In the meantime, breakfast is on the way. Oatmeal okay?”

“Never. How about a cinnamon roll from the Last Frontier?”

She smiled, patted his arm. He read her badge. Alicia. “I’ll see what I can do.” Then she winked, parked the stethoscope around her neck, and headed for the door. “I’ll let your visitors in if you’re ready.”

If those visitors included Flynn, that was a big thumbs-up. He nodded.

She’d been there, deep in the darkness, when he fought to come back to himself, buried under water. Calling his name. Phoenix.

Maybe he did have nine lives, although clearly he’d been using them at an alarming rate.

Now, the door opened and, oh, not Flynn.

Moose. He carried a cup of coffee and came over to the bed. Said nothing, just nodded.

Axel nodded back.

“Want to talk about it?”

Axel looked away. About the panic of being trapped under two hundred pounds of angry killer, determined to drown him? About fighting to break free until the man finally went limp and he could detach his pack strap? About how he’d gotten caught at the bottom, had run out of air while trying to escape?

Dying, right there, below the surface, just as he broke free?

“Nope.”

Moose nodded.

Axel looked at him. “Seen Flynn?”

His brother shook his head, and he tried not to let that bother him. Still, “We had a fight. I thought we were okay, but . . . I don’t know. Maybe not.”

Moose arched an eyebrow. “When in all this fun did you two have time to have a fight?”

“She—is . . . why didn’t you stop her?”

“From what?”

“Running after Parker alone!”

Moose gave him a look. “You have met her, right? She jumped into the pit trying to save your life. I don’t think I could stop her from doing anything.” He took a sip of coffee. “That’s what the fight was about? Her running after Parker?”

“She is . . . yes.”

“She is a cop.”

“Who hunts serial killers.”

Moose nodded. “You were thinking you could, what . . . trap her in Alaska, get her to quit her job?”

Actually, that might be exactly what he’d been thinking, although he’d couch it differently. “I thought maybe she’d want to stay.”

Moose sighed, nodded. “I get that.” He looked out the window.

Oh, something—“Bro?”

Another sigh. “Tillie’s missing.”

Tillie—oh, the waitress at the Skyport. “What? Wait—how do you know that?”

“I went to the diner . . . and she’d quit. Or left or . . . anyway, I don’t know. She told her manager that she needed to take some time, but she gave no reason, and no one has seen her since.”

“So, not necessarily missing, then. Simply gone from your life.”

Moose’s mouth tightened around the edges.

Ah. So they were going with missing. “You don’t know where she lives?”

“How would I know that?”

Testy. Axel raised his hands in surrender.

“Sorry.” Moose shook his head. “No clue. And I asked the manager. She won’t give it out. I even called Dawson.”

“Wow. That’s desperate.”

“Dawson and I are cool. And he’s family, so . . .”

“Right. He dig up anything?”

Moose shook his head, and Axel hated the misery on his brother’s face. He might look the same way if Flynn suddenly disappeared out of his life.

But Moose was right—he couldn’t hold her hostage in Alaska.

Maybe he wouldn’t have to, because a knock sounded at the door and Flynn stuck her head in. Smiled at him.

And there went the full breath, filling up inside him again. See, they’d both survived, and they’d figure this out. Because they were meant for each other; he knew it in his bones.

“Hey, Flynn,” Moose said. “Did you finish up your report at the sheriff’s office?”

“Yeah.” She stepped inside. She wore a pair of jeans, a new Copper Mountain sweatshirt, her hair pulled back and up. And she carried car keys and a cup of coffee.

She smiled tightly at Moose, and suddenly everything felt a little . . .

“Moose, can I talk to Axel alone?”

Calm down. He wouldn’t mind some alone time with her. But the way she caught Moose’s arm as he walked by her, looked up and said, “Thank you for everything,” set a boulder inside him.

He was panicking. “Moose, score me one of Mom’s cinnamon rolls, will you?”

“Yep.” Moose lifted his coffee. “See you ‘round, Flynn.”

Then he left, and she simply stood at the end of Axel’s bed. Looking beautiful and perfect and . . . sad.

He moved his oxygen mask aside. “Hey,” he said.

She swallowed, and even from here it looked . . .

“Have you been crying?”

She took a breath. “Uh, I . . .” Her gaze went to the window, followed by a sigh. “How are you?”

“They’re pumping me with antibiotics, and I’m not at full O2 levels yet, but I’m alive. I guess you had something to do with that? I didn’t know you went into the pit after me.”

She raised a shoulder. And he got it. She’d gotten him into this mess.

“Flynn—”

“Did Dillon tell you anything before . . . I mean, did he say anything about the murders?”

Oh. “Just about Aven. Told me how he’d found her out of the river. How he’d sexually assaulted her—I shut that down. But—yeah, he was a real piece of work. How’s Wilson taking it?”

“I haven’t seen him. Sad to have that happen to your family, your son. I don’t know what all went down in that family, but Dillon fits the profile—broken family, angry at his stepmother. Hopefully Laramie doesn’t turn out like his father.”

“He’s got his grandfather, so . . .” He forced a smile.

Silence fell between them as she took a sip of coffee. Then she looked at him, and the boulder rolled right over his lungs. “Axel, I can’t stay.” She swallowed, and her eyes filled. She blinked hard, met his eyes. “And you’re not leaving.”

And he couldn’t stop the rush of panic rolling over him, washing out in his voice. “Flynn—c’mon. Is this because of what I said? Because . . . I mean, I know that . . . I know you have a job?—”

“I do have a job. And it might sound dark and creepy, but it is my job and I’m good at it. And if I don’t do it, then someone else is going to have to stick their hand into the darkness and find the monster and—” he sighed. “And I have to do it alone.”

She wiped her cheek, shook her head. “Watching them trying to bring you back to life might have been the worst two minutes of my life?—”

“Sparrow—”

“No. Not anymore. It’s Flynn. And Flynn can’t wait on the helpless side of the radio, hoping you survive your next callout.” She lifted her chin. “And Axel can’t panic every time I go monster hunting. Can’t be there to rescue me. It’s not the life he wants to live.”

“You should let me decide that.”

“I think you already did. In the forest.”

“I was . . . Flynn, that’s not fair.”

“I know. But let’s not kid ourselves that it isn’t what is in your heart. You can’t help but be a hero, Axel. But that’s why this can’t work. Because I’ll always be fighting monsters, and you’ll always be trying to save me.”

He looked away, his entire body burning.

“But . . . if it weren’t for you, I’d still be stuck behind the falls, trapped. And very well might be dead. So . . .” She walked over to him and stood in his view.

He met her eyes, his mouth tight.

“I am sorry that I’m not Kennedy. That I can’t leave my life behind. Because for a while there, I really thought . . .” She drew in a breath. “Well, let’s just say that there is a part of me that belongs here with you, Axel. Just not the part that is real life.”

He closed his eyes.

Then he felt her breath against his forehead. “This is for Phoenix.” She kissed him. “Use that one life well.”

He opened his eyes, his jaw tight, unable to speak.

Then she put the oxygen mask back on him, turned, picked up her coffee, and walked out of his life.

As abruptly as she’d appeared.

He stared at the ceiling, the air cold in his lungs. Closed his eyes.

And just tried to keep breathing.

But their conversation came back to him, the one on the ham radio a week ago.

A week ago.

So maybe he was overreacting.

Or maybe a week was just long enough to learn to trust, to be eviscerated.

“Maybe he was just the holiday-romance guy and not the real guy. You know, the guy who is lots of fun but deep down can’t make a commitment.”

Except, he could make a commitment, right?

“You’re not leaving.”

Aw, he hadn’t even thought about leaving Air One.

Maybe she was just the holiday-romance girl.

Maybe.

The door opened, and he looked up, the crazy thought that maybe?—

“Your brother dropped this by—said he needed to head back to Anchorage.” Nurse Alicia, carrying a paper bag. “I’ll break regulations just this once. But only because you’re a hero.”

She set the bag on the bedside table and moved it up to him, then took out the cinnamon roll and put it on a paper plate. “No coffee for you, but would you like juice? I remember how you like orange juice.”

He stared at her. “What?”

She gave him a motherly smile. “Axel. I was the nurse on staff when you came in fifteen years ago, after you lost your cousin, nearly drowned, broken, just like today, so much water in your lungs we had to revive you twice from dry drowning.”

“I don’t remember that.”

She touched his arm. “Do you remember that it was my six-year-old son that you saved in the Copper River when you were ten?”

His mouth opened. “I . . . no.”

“He’s in med school now, down in Anchorage, but he wouldn’t be if it weren’t for you and your courage.”

“I just . . . Listen, I didn’t think, I just?—”

“Did what you were made to do, clearly.” She squeezed his arm. “Don’t apologize for doing what God created you to do.”

He sighed.

“But . . . at the same time, that’s all you can do. You’re not in control. As a river rat, you should know that better than anyone. All you can do is your best. The rest—all if it, actually—is in God’s hands. Any other thinking is just pride.”

“Wow. This is a twist on bedside manner.”

“Only because I see a pattern with you. I saw the show. And I know your history. And I have my own regrets. Like nearly letting my son drown.”

“An accident.”

“Long ago I realized that replaying the what-ifs is just me rewriting the story so I don’t have to feel embarrassed or defeated or ashamed. But with God there are no what-ifs. There is only truth. And the truth is that you’re not in charge, God is, and no matter what happens, he is good.”

“You sound like Moose.”

“I like Moose.” She winked. “You want real peace, real happiness, then it’s time to have some faith. That’s where you find peace. Even when your girlfriend walks away.”

“You saw that?”

“I saw her crying.”

“Her choice, not mine.”

“Mm-Mmmhmm.” She patted his arm. “I’ll get that juice.”

She headed out of the room.

Her choice, not mine. Aw, that wasn’t fair. Because she was right.

Rose and Jack would never have made it in the real world.

Another knock. Seriously, he’d never been so popular. And again, his heart rebelliously fell when not Flynn walked in the door.

Shasta. “Hey, Axel. I saw Moose—he said I could talk to you.”

“I didn’t realize Moose was in charge of my calendar.”

She stilled.

“Sorry, Shas. It’s fine. Come in.”

She nodded. He hadn’t meant to hurt her. “‘Sup?”

He moved the oxygen mask away and reached for the cinnamon roll. Yay, Mom.

“I was hoping . . . I mean, I know that you don’t see yourself as a hero, but . . . I was hoping that—” She swallowed. “Maybe you’d be willing to give me that exclusive?”

Shoot.But Alicia’s words still hung in his head. “Don’t apologize for doing what God created you to do.”

Fine.He smiled at her. “Okay, yes. Sit down, Shasta, and fire away. I’ve got all day.”