Thirteen

Kelston Hall’s chilly, twilight terrace

Following a handful of stunned seconds

Zander nearly whooped in exhilaration, but dancing about the terrace might not be putting his best foot forward.

At once, he wrapped her hand in his palm, and his heart leaping for joy might not have been entirely due to excitement and relief.

Hoo’ooh. Hoo’ooh .

A stock dove’s coo echoed from the oak copse.

A moment later, another answered.

Hoo’ooh. Hoo’ooh .

“Thank you, Lilly. You shall not regret it. I promise.”

Reluctant to break the connection, he still held her hand.

A connection that went beyond her soft skin brushing against his calloused flesh.

A connection that both terrified and invigorated him.

The first star of the evening appeared in the sky. It winked at him from across the great expanse, almost as if to say, “You need not have fretted, foolish man.”

“I would not make promises you may not be able to keep, Zander.” A shadow passed over her features, and she withdrew her hand. “Remember, this arrangement is temporary.”

Did she already have regrets?

Strangely bereft without her palm in his, Zander twined his fingers together behind his back. Doing so also kept him from turning her into his arms and kissing her until she was breathless and soft-kneed with desire.

A wicked fancy that had taken root several days ago and grew with intensity daily.

“Now that I am on the mend, is there somewhere else I can sleep so that you can have your bedchamber back?” His conscience would not allow him to continue to use her bed while she thrashed about on a hard floor.

“There are no beds available, but if Charles approves and says you are well enough, I shall see if we can find a place for a pallet.”

A furrow appeared between her eyebrows, as it did when she was deep in thought.

“Perhaps, we can clear a section in the attic. The chimneys keep it warm, and you would have privacy.” She gave him an apologetic smile. “It is not luxurious by any means. There are also mice and spiders up there.”

In all honesty, Zander had thought he might have to sleep in the stables.

“That sounds perfect.” Except for the bit about spiders. He loathed spiders.

It must have something to do with the monstrous spiders he had seen in Australia.

I have been to Australia.

Excitement ticked a staccato in his veins.

That must be a useful memory.

“I shall introduce you to the children tomorrow, and you can begin your duties next week.” Lilly faced the meadow again. In the distance, the brook burbled sleepily. “I do not want you to overtax yourself too soon. We must decide on a surname for you too.”

“Brook.” The name jumped off his tongue as if it had been poised there, ready to be spoken. “I know you mentioned Field, but there is also a brook nearby.”

“Indeed, there is.” Her profile serene in the waning light, Lilly nodded. “It is called Hodgson Burn.”

She pressed her lips together for an instant.

Something troubled her.

“Is there something else, Lilly?”

“I am writing Cambridge University. I hope that records are kept of First Class Honors and Second Wrangler recipients.”

“Excellent idea.”

And it was, so why was he not more excited about the prospect of discovering who he was?

Because once he did, his time here would be over.

“Lilly?”

He edged nearer until his thigh brushed the skirt of her gown.

This was utter insanity.

“You really should not address me by my given name. It is not proper and could lead to unwanted speculation.” She angled her head to look at him, and her eyes widened at what she saw written on his face.

Undisguised desire.

For her.

“What…?”

She darted her tongue out to dampen her lower lip, and Zander nearly groaned out loud.

“Zander, why are you looking at me like that?”

“Because, my darling, I desperately want to kiss you.”

“Oh.” She blinked, pink tinting her rounded cheeks. “You do?”

She sounded so incredulous, it cleaved his heart.

“Very,” he lowered his voice to a gravelly baritone, “ very much.”

Motionless, except for the gentle rise and fall of her chest, she stared at his mouth.

Encouraged, Zander lowered his head, inch by inch, fearful she might bolt and rob him of the sweet taste of her mouth.

“Do you want me to kiss you, Lilly?”

She flicked her gaze upward to collide with his for an instant before she averted her regard.

“I…I do. More than is prudent.”

Thank God .

He edged lower still.

Just another couple of inches. Then, he would know bliss.

“But I cannot allow it, Zander,” she said firmly, if somewhat breathlessly.

Ah, hell .

If he were not so disappointed, he would have admired her willpower, for her self-control far exceeded his.

Lilly braced her palm on his chest. “Haven’t you considered that you might be married?”

Those softly murmured words cudgeled him.

Zander’s breathing stalled.

Married ?

No, I am not .

How could he be certain?

He did not feel married.

Would his heart yearn for Lilly if he loved another?

Not all marriages were love matches.

In fact, very few were.

Had he entered a marriage of convenience?

An arranged marriage?

Bollocks .

As usual, Lilly was correct.

As a man of honor, he could not kiss her unless he knew for certain that he was unentangled.

He lowered his forehead to rest against hers. “Are you always so sensible?”

“I fear so. To a fault sometimes. Regardless, it has served me well.” She took two paces backward and faced him with courage he could not help but esteem. “If you want the position, nothing like this can ever happen again. If it does, Zander, I shall terminate you on the spot and send you packing at once.”

“I understand.” He did, but his bloody libido did not, and at this moment, the only thing that would calm his desire was an hour— or four —in the frigid brook.

“I would have your word, please.” She folded her hands, once again, prim and proper.

By God, Lilly drove a hard bargain.

That she would take the word of a man she found nearly dead in her meadow and that she had once locked in her bedchamber for fear he was a criminal, struck Zander to his core.

He peered at her closely.

She trembled like a tender new leaf in a blustery wind.

For all her fortitude, Lilly appeared remarkably fragile at this moment. As if it took every last measure she possessed to keep her stalwart composure.

Did she need Zander to resist the temptation, this undefined attraction between them, because she was not positive she could?

That revelation buoyed his spirits, despite the disappointment thrumming through his veins.

Now was not the time.

Nevertheless, that did not mean another opportunity might not present itself, and by thunder, Zander would seize it. But only if he had verification that he was not married. This meant that until he knew his identity, the tempting woman before him was utterly off-limits.

“I give you my word as a gentleman that I shall not attempt to kiss you, Miss Lilibet Granger.”

He winked and waggled his eyebrows to lighten the mood. “I shall not, however, refuse any overtures you make toward me .”

She made an unladylike noise between a scoff and a snort.

Althelia does that too.

Who the blazes is Althelia ?

“That shall happen when you catch lightning in a bottle Mr. Brook .”

He burst out laughing.

“For you, Lilly, I would try. Even if it meant the death of me.”

By God, Zander meant it, and that knowledge shook him to the soles of his borrowed shoes.

“Now you mock me.” Hurt leeched into Lilly’s voice.

“Never, sweet, Lilly.”

Zander lifted her hand and brushed his lips across the knuckles. “Never.”

Her face crumpled, and before she yanked her hand from his and turned and ran into the house, tears slipped from her eyes.

Why?