Chapter Five

T hree weeks later as they rode from Silver Meadows to Brambling Cottage, Noah only half-listened to Juliet. He needed to pay more attention, but he kept thinking of the surprise he had planned. He had no doubt she'd be pleased.

He'd spent the last weeks truly wooing her. They talked about Orinda's life and her own adjustments. They'd taken walks through the forest enjoying the colors of the leaves as they blanketed the ground, and rejoiced when she made her first pie. They'd made love and woken in the morning together, taking turns making hot chocolate to ward off the coolness of the cottage until the fires in the fireplaces warmed it once again. They'd even helped each other dress.

His only concern was there were still a few pages in the diary that remained blank. He wasn't sure why Orinda di—

"Oh look. It's a hawk." Juliet slowed her horse and pointed to the sky.

He shaded his eyes from the autumn sun to see the large black bird that floated in the air high above them. "No, that's a raven. There are many that live at Ravenridge. I'm surprised you haven't see one before now."

She inclined her head as she examined the bird. Now that she was out of mourning, her pale pink bonnet reflected the color in her cheeks from the cold. "It looks smaller than I remember. It must be very high. I believe there is a young lady at the school who is fascinated by birds. I'll have to tell her to look for the ravens."

He couldn't imagine being fascinated by anything but her, so he kept silent.

As they rode to the stable, he jumped down and helped her to dismount, unable to resist kissing her right there.

Her arms circled his neck as their tongues battled for dominance. It was one of the many qualities he loved about her. She may be diminutive in stature but her assertiveness in bed, or out of it for that matter, knew no bounds.

Finally, she broke the kiss and looked about her. "It would not do for us to be caught in such a compromising position." She gave him a sly smile. "Not that many come down this road. Still, I'm thinking there's much more we can do inside."

He grinned, deciding he needed to introduce her to lovemaking out of doors as soon as it warmed. "I'll be in as soon as I finish here."

She spun and sashayed into the house, looking back to make sure he watched before she disappeared inside.

Quickly, he took care of the horses, anxious to reveal his heart. As soon as he'd finished, he strode inside and divested himself of his greatcoat, the additional wood Juliet had added to the fire warming the house nicely. Now that the moment was upon him, doubts assailed him, but he refused to listen. He knew what was in his heart.

Juliet entered from the kitchen, her pink dress making her appear younger, happier. "Cook left us mincemeat pie. It's nice and warm."

He couldn't wait another moment. He strode forward and took her hands, leading her to the settee. "I wish to talk with you a moment."

She smiled, settling onto her seat. "Of course. I do adore conversing with you."

He sat next to her, still holding one hand. "And I with you. In fact, I have found everything I do is much more enjoyable with you."

"I feel so as well."

His heart raced at her words and he cupped her cheek. "I'm very pleased to hear this because I have fallen in love with you. Would you honor me by becoming my wife?"

"Wife?" Her eyes rounded in shock, and she rose abruptly. "How can I be your wife?"

Confused, he stood as well. "It's not difficult. I can obtain the license and the parish church will read the banns for three weeks. We can be married well before All Saints Day."

She stepped away from him, her eyes appearing a bright green. "No, I mean I'm a lady."

"Yes. And I'm a man. That's not unusual."

She shook her head as she buried her hands in her skirts. "No, what I mean is I'm of the peerage."

A knot started in his stomach. "Yes, that's true. But there's no law to keep us from marrying. Orinda and Ambrose married. We would be following in their footsteps."

Her eyes narrowed. "But I'm not Orinda. I'm Juliet Hastings, Lady Abercorn. And you are Noah Kingman, not Ambrose. This is not 1727."

Still trying to fathom why any of it mattered if she loved him, he folded his arms. "But you have no family to keep you from marrying, like Orinda did. From what you told me, your brother-in-law would be greatly relieved if he didn't have to send you your pin money."

"Yes, but unlike Orinda, I didn't run away from my life because I was in love. I was tossed out like kitchen slops. I only came here because I had nowhere else to go."

"So you wish you'd never come here?" The knot in his stomach turned rock hard.

"No. I mean that I didn't come here seeking love." Her brows furrowed. "Are you sure you love me and not simply love Orinda's story?"

An icy thought entered his head that he couldn't ignore. "Do you not love me ?"

Her gaze left his as she folded her arms across her stomach, but she didn't answer.

He dropped his arms and turned on his heel, heading for the door. The pain in his chest was too much to suffer in front of her.

"Where are you going?"

He turned the knob and pulled, but the door remained shut. Trying again, he yanked hard, but it didn't move. Anger overshadowed the pain.

"Noah, please. I need to understand. Can't we talk about this? We're very good at talking."

He turned to face her. "No. Love is something you feel. You can't be talked into it. I do not want you if you can't feel it." He raised his gaze to the portrait over the fireplace. "Orinda, you cannot make someone love you. Open this door now or I will break it down."

Behind him, the door squeaked and he turned to find it unlatched. Without another word, he yanked it open and slammed it shut behind him.

*

Juliet stared at the closed door, feeling as if a part of herself left with Noah. Did she love him? She didn't know. She'd never been in love. She hadn't even considered marrying again. She faced the portrait and walked to it. "I'm not you. I wasn't in love before arriving."

She pressed her hand to her chest as she remembered the look on Noah's face when she said he was in love with Orinda's story. The hurt in his eyes made her stomach turn over. That he hurt upset her, but that she caused it was heartbreaking. She felt like the monster in Beowulf . How could she have hurt the one person she cared about most?

Tears filled her eyes. Never had she felt so cruel. "Surely I must love him if it hurts this much." She slumped into the small chair near the fireplace. "But does he truly love me? Am I to marry him simply because you married once arriving here?"

A noise near the settee caught her attention and she rose to see what it was. The diary, that had been closed, was open to the last page, which had been blank the other day. She looked down at it on the small table and anxiously read it aloud. "No sacrifice is too great for love."

Her heart raced at the words, knowing they were Orinda's advice. She turned from the diary and looked at the portrait. "But am I in love? And is he?"

The dairy flew across the room and into the fire.

"No!" Her heart constricted as she raced to the fireplace. Knocking the book from the flames onto the floor, she beat them out with the nearby broom, tears now streaming down her face.

The feeling of loss doubled. "Don't do that. Please don't. Just because I'm confused doesn't make your love story less beautiful. I'm not you, but I wish I'd known you so I could be like you. I wish…."

She sunk to the floor, gently cradling the diary that had become her greatest treasure. She didn't know what she wished.

*

She'd drudged through each day for the next fortnight. What had been her haunted haven was now just a cottage. No new words appeared in the diary and nothing creaked open when she needed it. The only vestige of Orinda that remained were the dreams, and they had turned frustrating, never allowing her any satisfaction even in sleep.

And Noah had not returned. He'd sent friends to escort her to Silver Meadows, which made the cold ride even colder. She constantly fought tears and she missed him terribly, the cottage now a reminder of the joy she'd shared with him.

Today, she had planned to tell Lady Northwick she would move to the school since there was nothing left for her at Brambling Cottage.

But last night changed everything. She was going to find Noah.

After buttoning her blue spencer, she tied on her hat then pulled on her gloves. She looked out the window, waiting for the strange man who was saddling her horse to finish. Her heart raced, and a feeling of dread filled her.

Her dreams changed last night. Noah lay in her bed, not moving, barely breathing. She'd held his cold hand, desperately trying to encourage him to live, but the physician shook his head. She held out hope as Noah squeezed her hand, but then Orinda, floating nearby, held her hand out to him and he took it.

His hand went limp in hers and her heart broke apart, waking her up to find herself crying. In that moment, she knew. She loved Noah and she had to see him, to tell him, and convince him to live. She didn't doubt her dream. She just hoped it was a warning of what might be and was not what had already occurred.

Finally, the man came out from the stables, and she left the cottage.

"Good morning, my lady. I've come to escort you to Silver Meadows." The gray-haired man had to be as old as her grandmother before she died.

"I'm not going to Silver Meadows today. Would you be so good as to escort me to Noah Kingman's house?"

The man lifted his cap and scratched his head. "Well, I don't know about that, my lady. I had very particular instructions. I don't think Mr. Kingman would be happy with me."

She wanted to rail at the man that Mr. Kingman was not in any condition to be unhappy with him, but she bit her tongue. Every moment that was wasted could be better spent caring for Noah. "Then if you would be so kind as to help me mount."

"Yes, my lady."

The man gave her a lift, and she settled in her sidesaddle. "Now, if I'm not mistaken, Mr. Kingman's house is down that path, correct?" She pointed to the narrow, wooded path opposite her gate. Only Noah took that path while all her escorts had come by the road.

The old man frowned. "I don't rightly know, my lady."

Frustrated and not a little peeved at the man constantly referring to her as "my lady," she simply nodded. "I do believe that's the way. Let us find out." Without another word, she set her horse in that direction. Once on the path, she could see it was well worn and urged her horse on faster, not knowing or caring where her escort was.

The ride through the dark wood was not long, but she had a bit of a chill by the time she emerged onto a great lawn on the side of a house the size of her late husband's. Could this be where Noah labored? No doubt her errand would be looked upon as odd by whichever lord owned the place, but she no longer cared.

Though it was very early, she rode up to the front steps and managed to dismount onto the middle one. Quickly, she tied her horse's reins around a concrete knob at the bottom, picked up her skirts, and ascended the five steps. She knocked on the door. If Noah used the path to this estate, then someone was bound to know where he was. She heard a male voice before the door opened.

A young man who looked very much like Noah stood there gaping at her, his skin growing disturbingly pale. But he wasn't Noah, as he was a bit shorter, thinner, his hair lighter, and his eyes were hazel.

"I'm looking for Mr. Noah Kingman. Could you tell me where he is? I believe he lives nearby?"

"Orinda?" The man's voice came out in a choked whisper.

Wanting to stamp her foot in frustration, she settled for tapping it. "No, I'm not Orinda. I'm Lady Juliet Finch." She used her aunt's name, wanting the man to know she was a neighbor. "Now can you help me?"

"Who is it, Jacob?"

At the sound of Noah's voice, her heart leapt. She brushed by the stunned man and crossed into what was a large parlor. At the other end, striding toward her through an archway was Noah.

Tears of relief filled her eyes as she ran to him. She grasped him about the waist, manners be damned. This was the man she loved, and he was alive!

*

Noah wrapped his arms around Juliet. No matter how hurt he was, he couldn't resist. His younger brother closed the door and arched a brow at him. He lifted his shoulders. He had no idea why Juliet was at Royalwood or why she was crying. As much as he didn't want to care, his heart squeezed at her need for him.

Moving his hands up to her shoulders, he gently pushed her back to look at her. "Why have you come here?"

She sniffed. "I was so worried, I couldn't arrive fast enough."

"Would you like to sit and explain?"

She nodded, a tremulous smile on her lips.

He led her over to a chair, but when he started to move away, she wouldn't release his hand. Hooking the closest chair leg with his foot, he pulled it over and sat. With his free hand, he retrieved a handkerchief from his pocket and offered it to her.

"Thank you." She released his hand to blow her nose.

The noise sounded so much like a mouse squeak that he had to bite his lip to keep from smiling. "Perhaps you should start at the beginning."

Immediately, her hand shot out and grabbed his, her blue-green gaze trained on his own. "Tell me you are healthy. Have you been ill?"

"I haven't been ill. I am healthy."

She released him again and dabbed at her eyes. "I had a dream. No, it was a nightmare. You were in bed, dying. I tried to keep you with me, but Orinda was there. She was a ghost and she held out her hand to you and you…you took it." She dabbed at her eyes, new tears springing forth.

Orinda? Why would she send… understanding dawned and his admiration for the lady spirit, which was already high, rose even more. She had made Juliet understand what she felt for him. Though he didn't entirely approve, he appreciated the nudge. "So you wished to see if I was well?"

"Yes, no, yes. I couldn't bear to lose you. I'm sorry that I said what I said. I've never been in love before. I didn't understand."

His heart tripped at her words and his entire body grew tense. "What is it you understand?"

The frantic look in her eyes vanished as they softened, appearing far more green. She smiled. "I love you, Noah. I didn't know this is how love felt, but I know now. I would be honored to be your wife if you'll still have me."

Elation filled him. Embracing her, he captured her lips in a gentle kiss of acceptance. He brushed back the tendrils of hair from her face and let his love show in his gaze. "I will. You have made me the happiest of men."

"And now, I'm the happiest of women."

"Then may I be the first to congratulate you both."

At Jacob's voice, he released Juliet and frowned at his younger brother. "You do know eavesdropping is quite rude."

Jacob, who leaned against the doorway with his legs crossed, uncrossed them and bowed. "True, but I wasn't asked to leave either."

Before he could reprimand his brother further, Juliet tensed, pulling out of his arms. "Oh, I must apologize. Will your employer be upset I came here? I had to see you and didn't care what anyone thought. I took your path through the woods to find you."

That she'd searched him out no matter the social consequences confirmed for him she truly did put him above all else. But he was puzzled. "What do you mean by my employer?"

She glanced over at Jacob and then at him. "I mean this house. You and your brother have positions here?"

He grinned, but his brother laughed. "Noah, you had best tell this songbird the whole truth before any banns are read." With that, he disappeared around the corner.

"What does he mean by the truth?" Her back came up straighter and her brows knit.

He took her hand in his, though she let him grudgingly. "I haven't lied to you. I have only withheld information based on what Orinda allowed you to see in the diary."

Though her hand softened within his, she still frowned. "There were only a few blank pages left."

"Yes, and I'm sure even as we speak, they will be complete. Do you remember reading how Orinda's husband built a large house?"

She nodded.

"His good friend, Mr. Kingman, his partner in trade, also built a large house. This is his house, or rather the part we're sitting in was his house. Then his son added on, and then my father added to it. I thought it was plenty large enough."

Her eyes widened and her mouth opened.

Quickly, before she could grow angry, he finished. "The man Orinda married was the business partner of my great-grandfather. My family continued the trade portion of the business and now have many ships. I believe our ancestors' close relationship is why Orinda can send us dreams."

Her mouth snapped shut, and she pulled her hand from his and crossed her arms. "Orinda sent the dreams?"

He nodded, then stopped, questioning his own assumption. "I believe she did. It could be her husband since he and my great-grandfather were such good friends. I cannot be completely sure."

She appeared to think seriously about his explanation. "I did dream of you before having ever met you." Her brows suddenly lowered. "Did you and Orinda conspire to make me fall in love with you?"

His face heated. "It's not that way. I believe Orinda wants you to be happy, and she knew I had half fallen in love with her portrait as a youth. You were right. I was in love with her story. But I'm not so addled as to confuse that with my deep love for you."

Juliet's eyes misted once again. "Then I'm very happy I had the guidance of my great-aunt. I'm looking forward to a life filled with love and happiness thanks to you both."

He rose and pulled her up with him. "Would you like to see your future home?"

She shook her head. "No. Wherever you are, I know I'll be happy."