6. Parker

CHAPTER 6

Parker

S pring semester meant lacrosse season was starting soon, so our practices were in full swing. I’d spent the last week on campus, getting back into the swing of things before the semester started, but classes were officially back in session as of today.

Samuel slapped my back as we headed back into the locker room after practice. “How’s your girl?”

I shook my head. “She’s not my girl.”

Even though that wasn’t true. She was mine. She just didn’t know it yet. I’d been in love with that girl for my entire life. My best friend. When I was nine, I’d declared to my mom that I was going to marry her someday. Now, though, I knew that was all just a dream.

We were just friends. That was all we’d ever been. And I knew that was all I’d ever be to Audrey, so I was making do. She’d made it clear that we were friends, and I was okay with that. With lacrosse and my degree, I didn’t have time for a relationship.

That was what I kept telling myself. That I’d take whatever I can get when it comes to her.

Sam made a noise in the back of his throat. “Sure. You definitely don’t like her. I saw the way you looked at her at the Halloween party, remember? And you spend all of your time with her.”

Groaning, I dropped my helmet onto the bench, my gloves quickly following behind so I could run my fingers through my hair. “She’s my best friend. I’ve known her since I was a kid. That’s all it is.”

Since she chased after me with her pink ribbons in her hair. Since she’d followed behind me on her pink bike.

He shrugged, stripping the rest of his gear off and heading towards the showers. “Keep telling yourself that, man.”

I was trying. Maybe, one day it would be true.

Last night, when she texted me she was back to campus, I’d stared up at the ceiling in my room, deliberating what to say—resisting from begging to ask to see her.

How had I gone nine years without seeing her when even one month apart felt like this? I liked my life full of her glitter and pink, how she’d always blush just for me, and how everything just felt so easy around her. Like I could be myself. I didn’t feel like I needed to be anyone else.

But she’d spent the night hanging out with her sister, and who was I to object to that? Audrey and Ella were close. Growing up, they were practically joined at the hip. Always matching in their little color coded outfits. But I didn’t need the pink to tell Audrey apart. There was a sparkle in her violet-hued eyes that couldn’t be mistaken for anyone else.

Dumping the rest of my gear into the locker, I grabbed my stuff to also head to the shower when our Coach, Stefan Holmes, popped his head into the locker room.

“Maxwell,” he called. “Can I see you in my office when you’re done?”

“Sure,” I said, dipping my head. Worry churned in my gut. I wasn’t in trouble already, right?

I thought I’d been playing well. Meshing with the guys. Sure, I hadn’t really attended many of the parties or group hangouts, but now that we were getting regular practices in, I felt good.

Better than I’d felt at the end of last season in Rhode Island.

After showering and collecting my bag, I headed to his office, hair still damp.

“How are you feeling after practice? Getting used to the new dynamics?”

I nodded, because what else could I say? “It’s been an adjustment, but I like it here.”

Surprisingly, that was true. I liked being a part of the Castleton Chipmunks Lacrosse team, too. The guys were cool. I’d been keeping my distance because of what happened last year, but that wasn’t fair to them. I’d make more of an effort this semester.

And maybe I’d bring Audrey along as a buffer. As a friend, I reminded myself. Nothing more.

“Still no distractions , right? Like we talked about?”

I swallowed roughly. “No, Coach. No distractions.” No girlfriends. I had enough on my plate with classes and lacrosse. My schedule for this semester was already full.

Never mind that a beautiful blonde in pink came immediately to mind.

“Good.” He hummed, tapping on his desk with his fingertips. “I want to see you out with the team more. Not just at practice or in the weight room.”

“Okay.”

Coach Holmes looked surprised at how easily I agreed. “Alright. You’re free to go then. See you next practice.”

“See ya, Coach.” I grabbed my bag, heading outside. I had another class before my day was over, and then I planned to hit the gym. But all I really wanted to do was see Audrey.

Parker

Dinner later?

Audrey

Don’t you have practice?

Not tonight.

Okay. Ella’s busy with Cam anyway. What time?

Seven? I’ll meet you at the house and we can walk over together.

Okay.

What would have happened if we’d stayed in contact all those years? I could have come to Castleton from the start. We could have gone to college together. And even just thinking that was like a punch to the gut, because it wasn’t like I’d intended to go nine years without talking to my best friend.

Maybe we would be together instead of being deep in the friend zone. I sighed, looking up at the sky.

It was worth it, though—being her best friend and a safe place for her. No matter what happened, that was what I wanted to be for her.

This place was becoming my home. Maybe it was Audrey; maybe it was just that I liked the way when the breeze rolled in just right, you could smell the ocean—a reminder that it wasn’t too far away—or maybe it was that it finally felt like that fresh start I’d so desperately needed.

So instead of pulling my phone out, I left it in my pocket as I walked back towards the lacrosse house, taking in this place like it was mine for the first time.

Like the sun had parted for the first time, and I could finally see.

Staring up at the pink sorority house, I waited for her to come outside. We’d agreed to walk to the dining hall together to grab dinner, and I’d come over after a quick shower post-lifting weights. I’d pulled on a pair of dark wash jeans, a black long-sleeved t-shirt, and my favorite red hoodie.

When Audrey came out, she was wearing a pink sweater dress with tights and riding boots, all bundled up in a fluffy coat.

“Rosie.” My heart thumped in my chest, and I rubbed at it. “Hey.”

“Hi.” She smiled, and it was like my entire world lit up. That was what her smile did to me. “How was your break?”

“You know, the usual.” Boring. “How was yours?” I asked. Like we hadn’t talked every single day. Like I didn’t wait by the phone for her to text me back.

“It was… pretty great, actually.” Looking down at her feet, she fiddled with the hem of her sweater. “I’m happy to be back, though. There’s just something about being back on campus that I love.” She inhaled deeply, like she was taking all of it in.

I did the same, enjoying this place. It was my second semester here, and I’d quickly grown to love it. There was a charm to Castleton and the way everyone seemed to know everyone. We hadn’t had that at my old school. Plus, the campus wasn’t in the middle of a giant city, making it feel quaint. We were bordered on one side by a neighborhood that mainly featured students, faculty and staff, and a densely wooded area sat on another. Plus, not too far away was the ocean. It was like the best of all worlds.

“I’m happy to be back, too.”

She hummed but didn’t say anything for a few minutes as we walked. I enjoyed the silence. It wasn’t uncomfortable or strained. It was just… peaceful, like we could enjoy each other’s presence without needing anything else.

I shoved my hands in my pockets to keep myself from reaching out for her hand. Friends didn’t do that. Even though I desperately wanted to feel her palm against mine.

“How’s practice been?” Audrey finally asked, breaking the silence.

I nodded. “It’s good. You know, I was worried about fitting in with my new team, but they’ve all been great.”

Audrey’s face curved into a warm smile. “Of course they are. Because you’re great.”

Laughing, I shook my head. “You haven’t even seen me play yet.”

She shrugged as I pulled the door open to the dining hall. “Sometimes you don’t have to see something to believe it.”

Running my fingers through the hair as we headed to the counter to grab food, I contemplated that thought. If it was possible to know something was true without the prior evidence.

But even without having played a game yet, I knew the guys on my team were good. That it was more than just a sport for them. I could feel it in the air at practice, in the way my teammates treated each other.

There was a sense of camaraderie here that felt like belonging.

“Maybe you’re right.” I grabbed a plate with a pork chop, rice, and veggies and loaded it onto our tray as Audrey scooped up a bowl of chicken Alfredo.

“Always am,” she said with a beaming grin. It was like sunshine, bringing warmth and a glow to my face.

We settled into a table in the back corner, not saying much as we took our first few bites.

“You know, you never told me why you left your last school. How you ended up here.” Audrey twirled her pasta around her fork as she watched me, like she was studying my reaction.

I cleared my throat. “Just needed a fresh start.”

She frowned. “But… what happened?”

I wasn’t ready to talk about it yet. She’d probably look at me differently. With pity in her eyes. Or worse, and she’d blame me too. Just like my teammates had.

“It doesn’t matter.” I waved her off. “Tell me about your musical. You have rehearsals starting soon, right?”

Audrey blushed. “It’s not my musical. I might have been cast in the lead role, but there’s so many other people who it couldn’t run without. The other cast members, the crew, the orchestra, the lighting and sound?—”

“Right. Of course.” I smoothed my hair with my hand, feeling like an idiot who’d just put his foot in his mouth. Of course, it wasn’t hers. Except it would be, wouldn’t it? I’d told her I’d go watch her perform, and I knew that there was no way I’d be able to tear my eyes away from her on the stage. Not when she shined so brilliantly. God, just hearing her sing was incredible. “Are you excited?” It was the only question I could think of asking.

Her violet-hued eyes lit up. They were such a beautiful color, that deep blue that read purple, that it was hard to look away from them. “So excited. Did I tell you Ella is designing all the costumes for the play? She’s shown me the sketches, and holy wow, they’re beautiful.” Audrey babbled on about the things she was excited about. The score. The sets. How magical the storyline was.

It was based on her favorite fairytale, and she’d told me that it felt like kismet when she was cast as the lead.

Long after we’d finished our food, I sat there, trying to remind myself that she was my best friend. That I had no business noticing how her laugh made my insides warm or her smile felt like the sun coming out from behind the clouds. But her happiness was contagious, and I was just grateful to be in her presence.

It was enough.

It had to be.

Because I couldn’t live in a world without Audrey Rose and her sunshine. Not ever again.