21. Audrey

CHAPTER 21

Audrey

P arker went and cleaned himself up, changing into a pair of pajama bottoms. I stayed perched on his bed, my body practically floating on air after that orgasm. Dry humping each other felt more incredible than I could have ever imagined, and after feeling his impressive erection through his pants, I was sure sex with him would be even better. Incredible.

God, I shouldn’t be thinking like this.

But it was mutual—and we’d agreed it didn’t mean anything. That it didn’t change our agreement.

We were still fake dating, best friends who also now helped get each other off. That was fine, right?

I bit my lip as he settled back onto the bed, sitting next to me and bumping my hip.

“I should go,” I whispered, feeling suddenly self conscious.

He reached out and grabbed my hand, interlacing our fingers together. “Stay.” His eyes were pleading. “Please?”

“Okay,” I agreed, letting my head rest on his shoulder.

He said nothing, and we just relaxed in the silence, Parker wrapping an arm around me and playing with my hair as I leaned on him.

I needed this. Needed him right now. “He’s not going to stop, is he?” I finally whispered, speaking the words I hadn’t dared utter ever since we started this.

Parker let out a sigh, leaning his head against mine. “I don’t think so, sunshine.”

My eyes filled with tears. “It’s not fair, Parker. All I want is to live my life. But he’s everywhere.” A sob escaped from me, and I hated it. Hated being this vulnerable and exposed , like my entire heart was out for the world to see.

Except, it wasn’t. It was just Parker. Parker, who was rubbing soothing circles on my back. Parker, who knew the exact words to say, whispering in my ear that it was okay. That he was by my side. That I didn’t do anything to cause this.

I ran my fingers over my cheek. “I still can’t believe that he hit me.” The words were a whispered admission. Some part of me, however small—the part that stayed with him for so long—never expected him to lay a hand on me. “I mean, I know I bit him first, but still.”

Parker burst out laughing. “You did what?”

“He had his hand over my mouth and wouldn’t let me go. I would have screamed, but?—”

“What the hell is wrong with him?”

I bit my lip. “Maybe he just needs help. Are you sure he’ll be okay? He went down pretty hard.”

“Is it bad if I say I don’t care?”

I laughed. “Honestly, no. But what about you , Parker?”

He sighed, like he knew exactly where I was going with that. “Coach won’t be happy with me. But I knew that risk when I did it. Especially since all of my teammates were here. It would be better coming from me.”

“But…” I frowned. “Will you get in trouble?”

“Don’t worry about me, sunshine. It was worth it. But… will you please talk to someone about this?” He asked, those amber eyes looking at me with so much care that my chest heaved. “I can’t stand knowing he hurt you.” His voice cracked.

I nodded. “Yeah. I’ll talk to Professor Woods.” I’d kept her in the loop since the beginning of the semester—minus the whole fake dating arrangement with Parker. But she knew he wouldn’t let me be. I’d done my best not to be alone with him, but even that wasn’t enough if he was going to corner me like this.

“Good. I’ll go with you to talk to campus safety, too, if you want me to.”

“Please,” I whispered. Something that told me that doing it with him, having the courage to talk about what happened with Parker by my side, holding my hand, would be significantly better than trying to do it alone.

“Okay.” He wiped his thumb over my tender cheekbone. “I’m with you, Audrey. I’m always going to be by your side.”

I believed him. “What did I do to deserve you?” My eyes filled with tears once again, but this time it was happy ones.

“Do you remember when we first met?”

“No.”

He hummed. “I do.”

“You do?” I blinked. My family had moved into that house when Ella and I were still small, but I remembered little past that. Only that in all of my memories of the neighborhood, he was there.

“Yeah.” Parker grinned. “There were a lot of other kids around, but none close to my age. I was too young for the big kids and too big to hang out with the babies.” He scoffed. “Then my mom told me there were two twins moving in next door to me, and they were only a year younger. I was so excited. And then I found out you were girls.” He scratched the back of head. “I just wanted someone to play with, you know? Someone who would ride around on bikes with me. Who would play with action figures and nerf guns and swords. And then you moved in.”

“And?”

“And there you were, dressed in a little pink overall set. Your hair was in pigtails, and then you smiled . And I knew.”

I was pretty sure I wasn’t breathing. “You knew you wanted to be my friend when I smiled?” Turning my head to the side so I could look up at him, I raised an eyebrow.

He shook his head, wrinkling up his nose. “No. I knew that none of that mattered, because my life was going to be changed forever.”

“Ella was there too, you know.” She’d always been around when we were younger.

He hummed in response. “But she wasn’t the one who rode her pink bike to the park with me every day after school. She wasn’t the one who came over to my house and watched cartoons and movies. You two couldn’t be more different if you tried. And even if you wore the same outfit, I’d always know it was you. So yeah, Rosie Girl, you do deserve me. Because you’re the first friend I ever had. And the only one I’ve ever wanted to keep.”

He pressed his lips to my forehead.

“You were my first friend too, you know. Besides my sister. And the first that really felt like mine. Because I didn’t have to share you.”

Parker winked. “Never will, Rosie Girl.”

I hummed in response.

Finally, he said, “So he… never got you off? Never made it good for you?” His eyes looked murderous, and I knew he hadn’t forgotten what I’d said before.

I shook my head. “It’s never been easy for me… with someone else.”

He laughed. “Audrey. No way. You’re telling me that after you came just from grinding against my lap?”

Blushing, I dipped my head. Normally, I was too in my head. And maybe the partners I’d been with just hadn’t put in that effort to get me off, either. But with Parker, it had been different. Like we’d been working towards a mutual goal. Together.

Maybe it was because that was how we’d always done things. Ever since we were little, we’d worked together—building forts, assembling his legos, even scratching our names into the gigantic tree behind his house.

But no one else understood me like he did.

“Maybe I’m just too much,” I murmured.

He worked his jaw, eyes narrowing. “ What ?”

“I’m too much. That’s what Duke told me. That all the pink and the glitter and… everything about me.” My eyes stung, and I tried to shake the tears away before they could fall. God, I was a mess tonight.

“Fuck, Rosie.” He shook his head. “You believed him?”

Did I? Not really. I hadn’t changed who I was. But the words had stuck with me. “Maybe he’s right. Maybe I am.” I shrugged.

“Fuck that.” Blinking, I looked at him. Parker looked furious. For me.

He was pissed for me. Not at me. Because that was the kind of guy Parker was. I knew he’d defend me no matter what, but this was different.

“You’re not too much, Audrey. You’re fucking perfect.” I was speechless. Fucking perfect. No one had ever said that to me before. Parker grabbed my hand, pulling me into his arms.

“I—” I shook my head. “I’m not perfect, Parker.”

“Yes, you are.” He nipped at my bottom lip. “Those noises you made, the way you came undone for me. You’re so responsive, baby. It makes me want…” He shut his eyes, groaning.

“What?” I whispered, running my hands up his abdomen. “What do you want?”

“Fuck,” Parker groaned. “Rosie—” He squeezed his eyes shut, his hands stilling mine. “We should stop.”

I blinked, lowering my top back down. “What?”

“It’s been a long night. And I don’t want us to make a decision we’ll regret.”

He didn’t want this?

After earlier, I was practically ready to throw myself at him. God, I was an idiot. Just because I was feeling it didn’t mean he was.

“Right. Um. I’m gonna go,” I whispered, feeling mortified. Standing up from the bed, I collected my things,

“Audrey—”

I couldn’t do this right now. “Good night, Parker. See you at rehearsals.”

“He what ?” I was sitting on the couch of Laura, Meri and Florence’s apartment, stuffing my face with a slice of funfetti cake. Laura’s face was red as I told them all what had happened with Duke the night before. “God, that asshole. I can’t believe he came to the lacrosse house even knowing you’re with Parker.” She was knitting a green scarf without even looking at the stitches, which was almost mesmerizing to me.

These three girls had been like older sisters and mentors to me since I started in the theater department, always offering me advice or a hug when I needed it. They lived right off campus, and it had been easy to crash their evening study session.

Maybe I just didn’t want to face Parker after how he’d turned me down after what felt like the best orgasm of my life. I wanted more, but obviously, he didn’t.

“I’ve heard he’s been getting in with the wrong crowd this year. Drugs, partying all the time...” Meri refilled her glass of wine.

I frowned, looking down at my socks. They had little pink kittens on them, wearing bows. “He was never like that before. I mean, he drank, but it wasn’t like this…”

“Have you talked to anyone?” Florence asked from the kitchen where she was popping in a tray of cookies. She was always baking something when I was over here.

“Yeah. I went to campus safety today and told them what happened. And I have a meeting with the dean of the fine arts department and Professor Woods tomorrow.”

“Wow. Do you think they’ll suspend him?”

Meri scowled. “They should. If not, I’ll give him a piece of my mind.”

Part of me wanted that. Part of me was also scared that he would retaliate against me for speaking out. I’d told Professor Woods that earlier, after class. Luckily, Duke hadn’t shown up for rehearsals tonight—maybe because he was sporting a black eye.

“ He’s going to be mad, ” I whispered. “ What if he ? —”

“Why don’t you let me take care of him, Audrey? He’s not here for the right reasons, and we both know it.” He’d only tried out for the musical because he knew it was my dream. Because he wanted to stalk and haunt me even here, in my safe space. Theater—the drama department—wasn’t his thing.

“Still, I just… ” I thought about how he’d been the last few times I’d seen him. I shut my eyes, wishing I was stronger. A single tear dropped from my eye, and I cursed softly. I hated crying in front of people. I definitely didn’t want to cry in front of my professor.

She rubbed my shoulder, looking at my wrist. “ He scared you, honey. Put his hands on you.”

I nodded, wincing. “Yeah. He did. ”

“Let me take care of it. I know this has been an ongoing issue, and I think it’s something that needs to be addressed now.”

Professor Woods had given me a hug before I left, reassuring me that everything would be okay. Even though nothing felt okay.

“Maybe. I think so.” I hugged my knees to my chest.

“And Parker?” Florence asked.

I raised my head up. “What about him?”

“How’s he been taking all of this?” She raised an eyebrow. “His girlfriend got hurt, after all.”

“Oh.” Right. That was what she meant. “He was the perfect gentleman. Carrying me up to his room, giving me an ice pack, taking care of me…” My cheeks were warm.

Kissing me, letting me rub against him until I fell apart in his arms… Super casual things that friends do, you know . Except I couldn’t say those things, because they thought our relationship was real.

And it felt a lot less like just friendship anymore.

Parker had his hands shoved in his pockets when he came towards the bench I was sitting on outside of the athletic center. It had been two days since the party, and the lacrosse team had another game tomorrow. The bruise on my wrist from how he’d grabbed me had mostly faded, and luckily, the slap against my cheek hadn’t left a mark. Still, I felt raw. Exposed.

He let out a sigh, plopping down next to me, running his fingers through his damp hair.

“I got benched.”

“I’m so sorry, Parker.”

“No, it was worth it.” His gaze was set on mine. “What happened today?”

“They’ve scheduled a hearing with the disciplinary committee, but he’s on a one week suspension from all campus activities. Apparently, the only thing he’s allowed to do is go to class.”

“And the musical?”

A sigh of relief slipped through my lips. “Since he’s not enrolled in the theater program, he’s been removed from the cast and banned from the theater building.”

My fake boyfriend—because I needed the reminder—wrapped an arm around me, tugging me tight against his chest. “Thank fuck.”

Neither one of us mentioned the fact that if he got permanently kicked out of CU, we wouldn’t need to do this anymore. Pretend to be a couple.

Because I didn’t want to stop.

I didn’t want to go back to before.

Before I knew what it was like to be in Parker’s arms. What it was like to kiss him—really kiss him.

I didn’t want this to end.