Chapter 21

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

Adam

With Laney beside me, the week at Stonebrook flies by.

We are busy. Between vocal rehearsals and meetings with the creative directors and wardrobe fittings and photo shoots, there is always something else to do. But the snatches of time I get with her in between make everything seem worth it.

And our nights—those have been my favorite. I could talk to Laney for hours—I have talked to Laney for hours, and it's not enough. Nothing ever seems like enough. When she isn't beside me, I want her there. If I'm not kissing her, I'm imagining the next time I will be. If we aren't talking, I'm actively thinking of what I might say to her next.

I am hopelessly, shamelessly addicted, and I do not want to be cured.

I watch from my seat by the firepit as Laney emerges from the house wearing my flannel, the same one I gave her the night she learned that I was Deke. She must have had it this whole time, because I haven't seen it, a realization that makes me weirdly happy. It's possibly a little caveman-ish of me, but I like the thought of her having it, of her wearing it when we aren't together. As far as I'm concerned, that shirt is permanently hers.

Laney's expression is strained, and I sit up a little taller as she approaches. We aren't alone. Freddie is a few seats over, and Leo and Jace just went in search of beer, and they'll be back any minute. I'll walk away in a second if Laney would rather be somewhere else.

Ivy is right behind Laney, and she shoots me a look I can't quite read before dropping onto a bench next to Freddie. He looks at her and smiles, but when she starts talking, his face shifts, and he immediately looks up at me.

By this point, Laney has reached me, and I hold out my hand. She slips her fingers into mine as she sits down beside me. "What's wrong?" I ask. "What's going on?"

She exhales a slow breath. "Do you have your phone on you?"

I check my pockets, and I'm surprised when I don't find it. "I must have left it inside. What is it?"

She holds out her phone. "Sarah just sent this over."

There's a TikTok video pulled up on her screen, and Laney hands me an AirPod. I slide it into my ear, then push play, dread pooling in my stomach with every passing second.

The video is from someone who calls herself a celebrity cybersleuth, and what she's managed to "sleuth" is proof that something is in the works for Midnight Rush.

The first thing she shares is a photo of me and Laney, one clearly taken this week. We're standing next to the gazebo that's out past the farmhouse, arms around each other. Goldie is visible in the background, which makes sense because that's usually where we go when Goldie needs to go out.

The ring on Laney's left hand is clearly visible, and while she's not looking at the camera, her head is turned, providing a clear shot of her face.

Just that is bad enough. Even though Ivy warned us Kevin might try to release something else, create a trail of breadcrumbs before the concert news drops, it's still incredibly disconcerting to see a picture like this after so many years of living out of the public eye.

This was a private moment—relevant to no one else—and someone stole it and shared it like it was nothing.

But it gets worse. The next thing the video shares is a screenshot of a reddit story from someone claiming she just saw Freddie Ridgefield in the drive thru line of the fast food restaurant where she works. And then, she shows the photo Freddie posted of himself at my house, holding up a beer from the local brewery.

With proof that Freddie was in Lawson Cove visiting "a dude with a beard," according to Reddit, the sleuth used some kind of reverse image search and found a photo of Laney on the Lawson Cove Veterinary website, comparing it side by side to the photo of the two of us, in order to confirm that the person Freddie was visiting in Lawson Cove was me.

"Freddie and Deke together again after eight years?" the creator says at the end of the video. "It has to mean something. I'm crossing my fingers and toes and everything else I can cross for a reunion concert. And I'm totally going to have a cupcake today to celebrate because hello, all my Midnighter girlies, after endless radio silence, our man Deke appears to be alive and well. I'll save the breakdown of his engagement for another video, once I've done my due diligence in learning all about his bride-to-be."

"Wow." I pull out the AirPod and look at Laney. "That's…"

"Some impressive detective work," she says. "If Kevin wanted buzz, he's got it."

"When was this posted?"

"Yesterday morning," Laney says. "But it picked up more steam today. Ivy just told me they're dropping the concert news tomorrow, so this is pretty perfectly timed."

"Who took the photo? It was, what, the first day you were here?"

"Second, I think. When we took Goldie outside after breakfast."

"But who? The farm isn't even open to the public right now."

"But there are a lot of industry people coming and going every day. And the farm has dozens of employees. It could have been anyone."

I hate the thought of it being someone who's working on the concert, but Ivy did warn me Kevin wouldn't be above putting someone up to it.

I study Laney's face and try to determine how she really feels about all of this. It has to feel weird to see her name and face blasted so publicly, and I don't love that it's happening because of me.

I know Midnight Rush fans. Someone will show up at Laney's office. They will wander around Lawson Cove, look for opportunities to talk to her. And she'll hate every second of it.

"Laney, I'm really sorry about this. "

She lifts her shoulders, but her shrug isn't remotely convincing. "I'm fine."

"Don't pretend to be fine," I say. "This isn't fine. "

"Okay. I'm not fine," she says. "I feel…" She looks up, like she's trying to figure out the right words. "Like I've got spiders crawling all over my skin. Like everyone is looking at me. Judging me."

I tug her toward me and pull her onto my lap, wrapping my arms around her. "I'm so sorry," I whisper into her hair. "I know that feeling. It's not fun."

I want to tell her it gets better. That you get used to ignoring it. But she shouldn't have to get used to it. She isn't here by choice. She's here because I was an idiot who told a lie.

She's quiet for a long moment before she sits up enough to turn and look me in the eyes. "Adam, I think I need to go to Hendersonville tomorrow."

My gut tightens at the thought of her leaving. But it's not like I can stop her. "I, uh…yeah. If you feel like you need to go."

"Not to get away from you," she says. "I just…I need to talk to my family and figure out how to handle this. What to tell people."

"You tell people the truth, Laney. You don't have to lie for me."

"It's not that easy. I can't go telling people we aren't engaged days before the concert news drops. It'll just create drama, and that's not what Midnight Rush needs."

"What about what you need?"

"I'm doing what I need by going to see my mom. I don't have any regrets here, Adam. Not about you. Not about the engagement. I just need a little bit of solitude to regroup. I know you know what that feels like."

She settles back against my chest, and I resist the urge to hold her tighter, like it might make her stay. If I'd had any forethought, I would have seen this as a possibility. I never would have invited her to come.

I close my eyes, and an image of Laney waking up this morning fills my mind. The early morning sun was streaming in through the window, casting shadows across her face and her bare shoulder. When she opened her eyes and saw me watching her, she yawned and smiled, and something clicked in my heart. She's locked in now. Whatever happens between us, whether it ends or it doesn't, there's no going back as far as my feelings are concerned.

And now I've complicated everything.

And for what?

"Hey," Laney says. She wraps her hands around my forearm, then runs her fingers over what's left of the deepest cut from when I fell in the ravine. "I can literally feel the tension growing in your body right now. Are you okay?"

I force a deep breath and will myself to relax. "Sorry. Just…sitting here worrying about you."

She holds my gaze. Light from the fire reflects in her hazel eyes, bringing out the ring of honey gold that circles her irises. "It's going to be okay," she says. "You just think about the music. We'll figure out the rest together."

I want Laney to be right, but I can't forget what I've already lost to this business. I can't lose sight of that, because I can't lose her, too.

She leans down, her lips falling on mine, and for one blissful moment, I fall into her and let myself forget to be scared .

Maybe she's right and we really will be okay.

"Hey. Knock it off or take it upstairs," Freddie yells from across the firepit.

Laney pulls back and smiles a slight smile. The sight does worlds of good for my heart, and I will myself to relax as the conversation starts up around us.

"Hey," Leo says from beside Freddie. "Does anyone remember where we started our US tour? Like, what city?"

"Our first concert?" Freddie asks. "Wasn't it in Nashville?"

"Nah, we did three or four shows before we played Nashville," Leo says. "I feel like it was something random. Like Cleveland or Des Moines."

"It was Indianapolis," Laney says.

Leo sits up a little taller and snaps his fingers. "That's it! Man, I completely forgot. That was a great venue."

It was a great venue. Smaller, great acoustics. "We only played it the one time, right?" I ask.

"We got too big after that," Freddie says. "Moved into arenas."

I give Laney's waist a small squeeze. "How did you even remember that?"

She huffs out a laugh. "Oh, you'd die if you knew everything I remember. Probably more than you guys do."

I chuckle. "Like what?"

"I'm not going to answer just so you can accuse me of being a Midnighter," I ask.

"You already showed us your dance moves," Leo says. "We know you're a Midnighter just from that."

"Okay, that's fair," Laney says.

"I promise we won't make fun of you," Freddie says. "What else do you remember? "

She purses her lips to the side. "Okay, I remember that Leo's full name is Leonardo Emile LeClair."

"Emile!" Freddie says. "I forgot about that."

"And that Jace's first kiss was behind the bleachers at a middle school soccer game."

Jace lifts his beer in acknowledgement, but he doesn't say anything. He hasn't said much tonight at all. His eyes look distant, and he's frowned at his phone at least a dozen times.

"Then there's all the things I remember about you, " Laney says. Her hand moves to the crook of my arm, where it's still wrapped around her waist, and she slides her fingers over the curve of my bicep, her touch feather soft.

If she's trying to distract me, she's doing an incredible job.

"Like what?" I ask, forcing myself to focus on her words and not just the shape of her full bottom lip as she says them.

"Like how much you love pineapple on your pizza even though it's totally gross. And that your favorite book—at least when you were sixteen—was The Way of Kings. "

"Still is," I say. "It's a great book."

"Laney, what's your favorite Midnight Rush song?" Freddie asks from across the fire. He has his acoustic guitar in his hands and he's tuning the instrument with practiced ease.

"‘The Start of Forever,'" she says without hesitation.

"Makes sense," Jace says. "That's the only one your man wrote himself."

Laney turns and looks at me. "You wrote that song? How did I not know that?"

"Because we never sang it," I say. "It wasn't very good. "

"Only because it was overproduced," Leo says. "The song itself was great."

Freddie stands and moves around the fire and holds out his guitar. "Come on," he says. "Take us through it."

"Nah. You go ahead. You know it too."

He gives the guitar a little shake. "But it's your song."

Laney hops up, moving to the empty chair next to me, and I take Freddie's guitar. I strum a few chords and let the familiar notes wash over me, calm me, like they always do right before I start to sing.

"Leo's right. It was overproduced," I say. "And we sang it too fast. It's better slower. Stripped down."

The fire crackles and pops as I start to play, and an owl hoots overhead. Across the firepit, Ivy stands behind Freddie, phone in hand like she's already filming. Keeping my eyes down, I glance over at Laney, letting the warmth in her eyes ground me as I start to sing.

The lyrics are simple enough. First love, first touches, that first moment when you look at someone and wonder if they're the start of your forever. I didn't have any clue what I was talking about when I wrote it. Just vague ideas of what I thought love might feel like. But I've had a few moments like those this week, and I can't keep myself from looking at Laney when I sing about a "first kiss that leaves your heart in her hands."

The rest of the guys join in on the chorus, their voices blending as well as they always did. It's my song, so I'm biased, but we sound good. Really good. Good enough that at least while I'm singing, I forget this isn't what I want to do with my life.

At the end of the song, Ivy and Laney start to clap, but there are others clapping too. We turn to see two couples standing just beyond the fire. Flint Hawthorne has a woman I assume is his wife tucked under his arm. His brother, Perry, the one who runs the farm, is also there with his wife and their son, Jack, who designated himself as our assistant this week and has been constantly bringing water bottles and snacks into rehearsal.

"That was amazing," one of the women says.

"Sorry to interrupt," Flint says. "We were here visiting our parents, but I'm heading out of town tomorrow and wanted to say goodbye before I go."

Freddie gets up and moves toward Flint, but he pauses on his way there and looks at me across the fire.

"That was brilliant, man. We're recording it tomorrow," he says. Then he turns to give Flint a hug.

"Recording it where?" Jace asks.

"There's a studio in Silver Creek," Leo says. "I already looked into it just in case we needed one. It's nice. Mostly does folk and bluegrass. But I'm sure it'll have what we need."

"Then I'm down," Jace says. "Might be nice to release something new."

I like the idea of recording. I've thought about it a few times, especially with regard to "The Start of Forever" because the version we released ten years ago is so different from how I ever heard it in my mind. It's a little harder for me to wrap my brain around releasing it. Releasing music feels like going back. And I promised myself that would never happen. How can I even consider it in the face of what happened with Laney tonight?

I nudge Laney's knee with mine. "Want to talk to Flint again? He might have some questions about your status as an animal doctor. "

"You shut up," she says, a teasing glint in her eye.

The Hawthornes wind up joining us around the fire, and Jack wanders over to ask about Freddie's guitar. I spend a few minutes teaching him how to hold it and how to strum while Laney moves over and sits next to Jace.

I watch her out of the corner of my eye, wondering if she also noticed how distracted he's been tonight. When she makes Jace laugh, some of the tension eases out of my shoulders.

I hope he's okay. Eight years was a long time to not be in touch with these guys, and I don't want that to happen again.

With a little bit of help, Jack manages to put his fingers in the right places to form a G chord, quite a feat considering his kid-sized hands on a full-size guitar.

He smiles wide. "I did it!"

"Yeah, you did. You're a natural."

He shifts out from under the guitar, sliding it back to me, and jumps off the bench where we've been sitting side by side, Freddie's guitar perched between us. "I'm going to go tell my mom!" he says.

I reposition the guitar, then play through the chord progressions in the bridge of "The Start of Forever." Laney looks up and smiles as the words of the song float through my mind.

But she sees you different and you realize

The forever you want—it starts in her eyes .

I don't know what's going to happen after the concert. I don't know if I'll keep singing or if I'll just do the one show then go back to Lawson Cove and run Hope Acres.

But I do know that whatever I'm doing, I want her beside me while I'm doing it.