Chapter 20

Twenty

Elizabeth was caught off guard when Mr. Bingley arrived at Longbourn with Mr. Darcy by his side. She had not expected the latter to accompany his friend, and the sudden sight of him sent a rush of emotions through her—surprise, uncertainty, and a palpable awareness of the conversation they had yet to finish.

The gentlemen had come just days after Lady Catherine's visit, and Elizabeth's heart raced at the thought of her mother mentioning the encounter. Supposing he had no knowledge of it, the mere prospect of Mr. Darcy learning about it from her mother made her uneasy. But before Mrs. Bennet could speak, Bingley—clearly eager to steal a moment alone with Jane—cheerfully suggested they all take a walk outside. Elizabeth welcomed the idea, grateful for the distraction, though she could not shake the nervous anticipation lingering in her chest.

As Mrs. Bennet was not in the habit of walking and Mary and Kitty could not spare the time, the remaining four set off together. As was their wont to do on such occasions, Jane and Bingley outstripped Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy.

Judging by the timing of his return so soon after Lady Catherine's visit, Elizabeth well imagined fate was indeed on her side. As cruel as her ladyship's intention had been, the proud woman could not have supposed that her scathing words and telling speculations would have the opposite of her intended effect.

Now was the moment for Elizabeth's resolution to show the gentleman her genuine sentiments to be executed, and, while her courage was high, she immediately said, "Mr. Darcy, you must allow me to?—"

As though equally resolved to unburden his thoughts, Mr. Darcy interrupted her. "My aunt, I am aware she paid you a most disturbing visit. Knowing the frankness of her character as I do, I can well imagine how it unfolded and what a trial you must have endured. How can I make amends?"

"Sir, you owe me nothing. I dare not hold you liable for Lady Catherine's offences."

"Pray accept my sincerest apologies, nonetheless."

"Trust me when I say no apology is called for. After all you have done for my family—we owe you a debt of gratitude we can never repay for recovering Lydia and preventing a scandal from taking hold and ruining us all. I am certain Jane would not be enjoying the happiness she now feels to say nothing of Lydia."

"If you will thank me, let it be for yourself alone. That the wish of giving happiness to you might add force to the other inducements which led me on, I shall not attempt to deny. But you—your family owe me nothing. Much as I respect them, I believe I thought only of you."

Hearing this, Elizabeth was too embarrassed to say a word.

After a momentary pause, her companion added, "I am sure with Wickham's death, it would be deemed inappropriate for me to be doing what I am about to do but at the risk of causing a scandal, I am compelled to do so. If your feelings are the same as there were during the spring, pray tell me at once. My feelings and wishes have not only changed. They grow stronger with each passing day, but one word from you will silence me on the subject forever."

Elizabeth, experiencing all the more than common awkwardness and anxiety of his situation, now forced herself to say, "Oh, Mr. Darcy! My feelings have indeed changed. How could they not after all that you have done for me—for my family? I say that not to imply that my feelings for you are born of gratitude. Far from it, for my feelings for you are so much deeper than that. I cannot recount with certainty the hour, or the spot, or the look, or the words, which laid the foundation. It is too long ago. I was in the middle before I knew I had begun."

The happiness this reply produced was unlike anything he had ever felt before. Cupping her chin, lifting it just so, and leaning in, intending to capture what had been nearly theirs months ago in Kent, he expressed himself with a warmth and caring that only a heart fully claimed by love could convey. This time, with no hesitation holding him back, their lips met, sealing the moment with the tenderness and passion they had long denied.

As they kissed, an unexpected wave of relief washed over Elizabeth. The months of uncertainty, the tumultuous emotions, and the misunderstandings melted away in that single moment. His arms around her were both a comfort and a promise, and as she rested her head on his chest, she wondered how she had ever doubted this moment would come.

Having expressed their mutual affection, some mention of the societal expectations that dictated their actions for the present must be discussed.

"Sir, about our new understanding?—"

He hushed her with the touch of his finger on her lips. "We need not tell a soul. Save the two of us, no one has to know. You and I shall be totally discreet. When the half mourning period is finally over, which thankfully is but a few weeks away, we shall begin a courtship that culminates at the end of that period with a formal proposal, complete with a request to your father for his blessings and marriage by special license."

"How unfortunate that even from his grave, Wickham has the power of interfering in our lives," Elizabeth opined.

"How unfortunate indeed, but it is not as though we cannot enjoy many of the benefits of our new understanding, as long as we behave judiciously and do not give rise to suspicion or cause for gossip."

"I like the sound of that, sir. What sort of benefits do you have in mind?" Elizabeth asked, her spirits rising to playfulness.

He whispered something in her ear, sending a frisson of pleasure through her body, the likes of which she recalled from the first time she found herself in his arms—the time when they almost kissed. She drew in a deep breath to gather her composure in the wake of his tempting speech.

"Oh, my!" she cried. "Pray do anything but keep me in suspense, for I am a selfish creature indeed who relishes such prospects as you have promised."

Looking about, ensuring they were all alone, he stole Elizabeth by the hand and led her away from the path.

Beginning by taking her in his arms, holding her close, and brushing his lips across her forehead, her chin, and along the length of her slender neck, he ended her suspense, as sensibly and as warmly as a man violently in love can be supposed to do.