Chapter 3

Sharp pebbles dug into my bare knees as I looked down at my new packmate. My thumb still bled from the wolf's bite, and my head ached from the fragile, tattered, new bond we shared, a bond laced with fear, fatigue, pain, confusion, hope, loss. With an effort, I narrowed that link down until the wolf's emotions didn't overwhelm me. The strange wolf licked the blood off my thumb and closed his eyes like he expected punishment.

"Well done," I told him and felt his jolt of surprise. "Just this once. You'll not bite your Alpha again."

He dipped his head toward his chest, dirt matting into the blood in his ruff.

"Now let's get you shifted and healing." I set a hand on his head and closed my eyes, feeling for that link between us again, on purpose now, with control. Rob's grip on my shoulder lent his strength to mine. In the darkness behind my closed lids, lit by gold and faintly by blue, I took hold of the near end of that fragile bond and moved deeper along it, searching.

Inside my head, an impenetrable forest rose, tree trunks and briars, buckthorn dense with needle-armed branches, vines that twined underfoot, blocking my way. "Stop it," I told my new wolf firmly. "I'm your Alpha. I'm allowed back here."

The briars thinned, the trees became pillars, then a fence, iron and tall with spearpoints at the tops. I wasn't sure if the images were mine or the new wolf's. I put my mental hands on two of the black posts. "I'm allowed. There's a gate here. Open it."

Slowly, the metal rails bowed and separated, opening a way through. Beyond, a small room appeared, open to the fence. Rough wooden walls chinked with moss loomed above a dirty floor. A man sat on the planks, watching me approach. The room should've been perhaps ten feet wide, but I took over a dozen strides before I was near enough to see the color of his eyes. One dark and one pale, just like the wolf's, stared up at me.

I stopped at the point where I could've bent and touched the man's rough hair. "Come out."

The man shook his head and shivered. His gaze shifted to peer past me, his eyes wide and nervous, flicking back and forth. I glanced over my shoulder. The bars of the fence had reformed, and beyond them, a dozen identical huge wolves paced, glaring our way, lips lifted over white fangs, sometimes pawing at the black iron. When I fixed my attention on one, it would fade, but then reform as I looked away.

"They're not real. They can't touch you. I'm the only real wolf to you now," I told him.

He shook his head, tracking their movements with shuddery motions of his eyes.

"Wolf!" I snapped. "Eyes on me!"

He startled and gave me his attention, his head coming up.

"Better. Now stand."

After three breaths, he levered himself off the floor stiffly, as if he hadn't moved in a long time. His hands dangled at his sides, fingers twitching, his back hunched. Blinking hard, he licked his lips over and over.

"Good," I told him and saw his shoulders straighten. "Well done, my wolf. Now follow me." I turned and strode off toward the gate. Obediently following his Alpha should be automatic for a lower wolf, but I heard nothing. Perhaps because the ground underfoot had no substance? I turned and nope, the man hadn't moved. In fact, as I watched, he slid back to the ground, hugging his knees to his chest, staring past me.

I turned and went back, reaching for him as I got close, but the scene wavered and faded. My hand passed right through the man's shoulder, and then he was gone. All I saw was the darkness behind my eyelids, warmed with Rob's gold glow and a hint of dusky blue.

I opened my eyes and looked down at the dark wolf. He dropped his gaze to my feet and a blast of shame tinged with fear echoed over our wide-open bond.

"I don't think it's your fault," I told him. The man I'd seen had been terrified, not defiant, unable to obey, not unwilling. "I could try to force your shift without your help, but I don't want to do it here." I'd done that for a badly injured pack member once. He'd trusted me completely and he'd still felt his transition as a deep shock it took him hours to recover from. A steep slippery hillside with dusk coming on struck me as a bad choice. "Can you stand up?" I sent what energy I could down that fragile bond, lending him strength.

The wolf pushed up slowly, wavered and limped a step, then nodded. Blood still dripped from his neck, but the flow had slowed.

"Well done," I repeated aloud this time and felt a little echo of pleasure from him. "Now we're all going to shift back to fur, and I'll lead the way. You follow me, and our Second will bring up the rear. No lagging unless you have to rest. Got it?"

He nodded again.

Wilde asked, "What's your plan?"

"Bring him down to human territory, the motel, perhaps. Human scents, sounds, human beds and foods." I saw the wolf shiver and said, "That's why you've been looking in windows, isn't it? Hoping something would shake the human part of you loose?"

Another nod.

"Sounds plausible," Wilde said. "Let's do it at my house. No risk of being overheard."

"All right." I was just as glad not to bring everyone into a space where it was clear Rob and I had shared one bed. Some people would read too much— or perhaps just enough— into that. "You can direct us when we get down."

We shifted in turns, Rob and I each guarding the stranger when the other was vulnerable. When we were all in fur, I set out back along our track. The sinking sun made the footing more treacherous, casting deep shadows and occasional eye-level rays. Luckily, wolves didn't depend on our eyesight as much as humans.

I set a slow pace, listening for the dark wolf's footfalls behind me, judging when he stepped out well and when he faltered. Heading into the darkest part of the tunnel with his fangs at my tail wasn't as comfortable as it should've been, given that he was now my pack. Of course, if pack could never attack the Alpha, we'd all die of old age. This wolf's mental health made him unpredictable. It helped to hear Rob growl a warning behind us, letting the stranger know retribution would be on his ass in seconds.

We emerged from the other side onto the easier trail and headed down the mountain. At the parking spot, I brought us to a halt and gave Rob the signal I was shifting. Once human, I kept an eye on our stranger while the others put on skin. Blake was slowest. I wasn't sure if that was his level of power or a reluctance to be vulnerable around the strange wolf.

I turned to Blake once he'd shaken the wolf out of his mind and dressed. "You go first with Wilde's car. We'll follow. Call your cousin Phillip, tell him to bring food to the house. Lots of the best human stuff. Salami. Cheese. French fries. Things a wolf on the hunt doesn't get." I hesitated. "Phillip is around, right?"

"Yeah."

"Good. Tell him…" I hesitated an instant with Wilde and the stranger listening, but Wilde clearly knew Blake well, and if the stranger was a homophobe, I'd cheerfully sacrifice him for our safety. "I have no problems with your relationship. We're ten years into the goddamned twenty-first century. It's time the packs caught up with the rest of the world."

Blake looked wide-eyed. "Thanks. …wait." That startled look melted into laughter. "Me and Phillip? Is that what the pack thought? Oh my God, he'll die. He's like a brother to me. Yuck. No. And he's straight."

"Then why did you run? And not come back?"

Blake hesitated, biting his full lower lip. Then he said, "They weren't wrong about me, but my boyfriend's a human. Phillip came along to keep us safe. He's a lot more dominant and a better fighter." After a pause, he added, "No offense, Alpha, but I'm not introducing my guy to you."

Obviously, if I wanted to know and took enough time and effort, I could find out who the human was, so my speech of acceptance must've rung true to him at some level. "As long as he doesn't know you're a wolf, that's irrelevant. Our task right now is to convince this wolf's human side to come out. Tell Phillip to bring brownies."

"Mm." Blake grinned, the most open expression I'd seen from him. "Having a human form that can eat chocolate is awesome."

"Right. Go."

We loaded the wolf into the back seat of my truck with Rob next to him. The logging road was still clear enough in the falling dusk to make the drive down straightforward. We hit the paved road, and Wilde directed us farther from town, back onto gravel, and then a rutted dirt road barely wide enough for one car.

"Hope we don't meet anyone," Rob murmured. "Alpha versus good ol' boy. Which one agrees to back up half a mile?"

"There's only three houses along here," Wilde said. "Odds are against it."

His place turned out to be a large, old log cabin at the end of the road, with a very modern solar panel array on the roof.

My attention must have been clear because Wilde said, "I like my comforts, but the cost to request a powerline out this far was ridiculous. I have a wind genny up on the hill. Three cheers for technology." He got out and Rob eased free of the truck before letting the wolf emerge behind him.

I locked the truck and pocketed the keys this time, thank you. Wilde's car was missing from the grassy parking area, and my wolf growled at Blake's not following orders, but he wasn't pack, after all.

"This way." Wilde unlocked the front door. He'd kept the interior simple but comfortable, with softly stuffed couch and chairs in the main room and a big fluffy rug underfoot.

Two vehicles peeled toward us down the road, raising a cloud of dust. Rob whirled and stepped in front of me, but the second car was clearly Wilde's, and they both pulled to a stop well back from the cabin. A man I recognized as Phillip got out of the newish pickup and reached in for an armful of bags. Blake collected another set, and they came toward us. The scent of hot fries crossed the still air, and the dark wolf whined. My own wolf empathized, ravenous after shifting twice.

"Brought a variety of food," Phillip told me. "As directed, Alpha." He bowed his head to me, then Rob. I remembered him as a big man, from teen-me's perspective, but he was only a bit above average, and if he was more dominant than Blake, that was a matter of contrasts. He gave off middle-of-the-pack vibes.

Not a threat. My wolf was pleased.

In the cabin, I had Blake and Phillip set out the food on the kitchen table, which stood open to the main room. At my order, the strange wolf sat on the rug ten feet away with Rob at his side. He stared at the treats as they were unwrapped and laid out. My mouth watered until I had to swallow, but no one in the room took so much as a bite.

When the appetizing spread was ready, everyone turned to me. I picked up a bag of fries and walked over to look down at the wolf. Slowly, I tipped my head back, dropped a fry into my mouth, and chewed, humming my delight. The others swayed toward me, but discipline held and they didn't touch the food. Which, given they weren't all mine, I appreciated.

I knelt by the wolf. "Look," I murmured. "Hands. Fingers. French fries. Brownies. A voice and words. Come out for me now." I set the bag on the floor by my knee and grasped the wolf's chin, drawing his gaze up from the food to my face. "Look at me. I am your Alpha, and I tell you to shift. Now!"

Staring deep into his eyes, I let go of his chin and pushed shift energy down the bond between us. The wolf shuddered. In the second-sight of the space in my head, I saw the blue of our connection brighten and thicken. The bond's edges were still ragged, and instead of following it into the dark, I pushed my energy into those gaps, smoothing and strengthening our tie. Then I wrapped myself around it and pulled .

I could feel my werewolf's presence at the end of that bond, fur and skin, paralyzing fear and deep, painful want. "Shift." I fed energy into the bond and hauled the end back, fishing in those dark waters, looping the bond around the man at its end. "Come to me and shift."

Slowly at first, then faster, my packmate staggered toward me in the inner darkness, man and wolf shading into each other, foot becoming paw becoming foot again. I envisioned holding out a hand, my human form solid and unwavering. "Take my hand."

For another several seconds, the stranger hovered on the brink, his muzzle shortening and lengthening, his chest heaving with the force of panicked breaths. Then he reached out in that darkness and his fingers touched mine.

The spark of connection leaped between us. His human eyes widened— one hazel, the other almost white . My inner vision faded. On the floor in front of me, the dark wolf trembled, his body shape subtly deforming. His shift wavered back and forth.

"Eat up, everyone. Enjoy it," I told them. "Make him jealous."

"Don't think I've had a command I welcomed more," Wilde said, scooping up half a dozen slices of salami and tossing them into his mouth.

I pushed energy down my bond to the wolf, pushed certainty and welcome, human voice and hands bringing him into my pack. Rob leaned down to stuff a slice of sharp cheddar into my mouth and I chewed, focusing on the bright flavor that burst on my tongue. Come. Join us. Be human.

Rob fed me bites of the best foods, and I sent each pulse of delight down that blue bond. Human pleasures, human joys. Inch by inch, the strange wolf reached the pinnacle and wavered there— skin and fur blending in a moment of deep confusion and fear. Then he tipped over the brink, his shift rushing over him. Tan skin chased dark fur off his limbs, paws became hands, his ears shrank to hide under curly dark hair. The stranger's eyes opened, that same odd pair I'd envisioned. He blinked twice, raised trembling hands to wave in front of his face, and burst into tears.

I muttered, "Damn." Wolves rarely allowed themselves tears after a childhood in the old-school packs, but a tidal wave of emotions swamped the man's bond. I touched his shoulder, and the connection rang through his body, tamping down that onslaught. "Someone get me a blanket," I said. "Something soft. Rob, bring more food."

Together, Rob and I wrapped our new packmate in tartan fleece and eased his shoulders up into my lap. He didn't reach for the food, so Rob put the bites in the man's mouth and mine in turn. He snapped at the first fry in Rob's fingers, but I tapped his nose sharply and he took the next carefully. Behind me, I could hear the other three eating, but my focus was on the man I held. On the stranger, and on Rob, steady at my side like always, backing me up and doing whatever I needed him to do. God, I love him.

I froze, shocked at that emotion escaping my rigid control. Hopefully, the new guy didn't notice. Rob, though, faltered for a moment, a bite of sausage inches from my lips. I turned my head and his steady blue eyes met mine, his pupils wide. Our bond pulsed, bright and full. His emotions or mine? Both? I murmured, "Soon," and meant it. Enough bullshit. Rob and I would get square with each other as soon as this crisis was over.

Rob gave me a single nod and dropped his gaze, holding the next sausage bite for the stranger.

My new wolf looked older than me, thin but well-muscled, with a lined face and a long, narrow nose, ordinary and seeming willing to submit, at least for now. In his seventies, maybe, a human fifty-ish. Not familiar to me, and a glance at the others suggested not to them either.

Each bite of food softened the man's distress. Each touch of my hand on his head and shoulder eased the tension that screamed through his muscles. The shaking of his body against my knees slowed and stopped.

Our feasting wound down eventually. The other wolves left the table and sat on the couch and chairs, eyeing us. Finally, the stranger turned his head away from a bite of fried chicken. Rob sat back on his heels and popped the bite into his own mouth. "I think he's done, Alpha."

"Thank you. Did you get enough for yourself?"

"I could eat more."

"Grab a plate and sit down, Second." I used Rob's title for the newcomer's benefit. "Feed yourself."

The stranger watched as Rob did a fast cruise down the picked-over table, piling a plate high. Rob came back and sat on the floor with the plate beside him, in reach if I needed a hand. I kept silent while he layered two sweet rolls with salami and stuffed them into his mouth. He hummed a pleased sound and took another big bite.

My wolf stirred. Yes, our mate should eat.

I locked any hint of that feeling away. Not now.

Once Rob was down to picking at his food, I eased the blanket-wrapped stranger out of my lap. He sat up and when the fleece fell away from his shoulders, he didn't pull it back up.

I put some Alpha command into my voice. "Tell me your name."

"Asher." He jolted and whipped a hand up to cover his mouth. Then he repeated, "Asher. Asher. Oh."

"Welcome to my pack, Asher."

His reddened eyes swam with tears. "I haven't spoken out loud in…"

"How long?"

"Don't…" He cleared his throat. "I don't know. Years? Winter in the far north with the wild wolves. One winter back around human houses. I think?"

"Is someone out there looking for you?" At Asher's flare of panic, both Rob and I reached for him. I grabbed a flailing wrist while Rob pinned Asher's knee with one hand. "Hush, I meant missing you. Someone who's sad to have lost you?"

"I… maybe. Probably not. Alpha told the pack I died. My old Alpha." He relaxed enough that Rob and I let go. Rob pulled the blanket around Asher's shoulders, and he glanced up, surprised, then bowed his head. "Thank you."

"Now I'll ask the other part of that question, for all our safety," I told him. "Will enemies be coming after you? Do we need to be on guard?"

Asher swallowed and shook his head.

"Can you tell me what happened? How did you lose control?"

"I… It was…" He licked his lips.

"You don't have to say."

"I want to. I've thought about it. Years." He finally used his hands to pull the fleece closer around himself. "My Alpha. He was angry."

"About what?"

"His wife."

That surprised me. "What did you do?" If it took a bold wolf to steal an Alpha's truck, it would take a suicidal one to mess with his Alpha's wife, even if she was not a full bondmate.

"One time, when he beat her worse, I helped her escape."

"Ah." That was a different story. "He caught you?"

"Yes. But not her. She was my late wife's sister. I got her out of the country, far, far from him. I did that part right. I did." His eyes clouded. "Didn't I? Sometimes I think I'm remembering wrong and he caught her. Then I think no, I was leaving the airport after her flight took off when he ran me off the road."

"Fuck," Rob muttered.

"He… He said I was an animal and should live like an animal."

Wilde asked, "Did he lock you in fur somehow? I didn't know that was in an Alpha's powers."

"Nor did I," I agreed.

"He forced me to shift and put me in irons, around my wolf's legs above the hock and elbow, around my waist, in a small, dark space. Shifting to human in those bonds would kill me. I tried anyway, after a while, but my wolf didn't want to die. Alpha kept me there a long time. How long? Do you know? Can you tell me?"

I wasn't sure if that was rhetorical or if Asher really thought I had information. I shook my head. "It doesn't matter now." I tried to enforce that belief. The past was past. One day, maybe I'd get to rip that Alpha's head from his shoulders— No, Asher didn't need my anger right now. He needed my steady calm. "What matters is you have a new Alpha, a new pack, and another chance. You need time and healing, but you'll get there."

"How did you escape?" Wilde asked him.

"I don't remember. I think someone let me out." Asher shook his head. "I was a wolf. It was safer. I ran. I'm sorry."

"You're fine."

"I did bad wrong things." Asher wrung his hands together over and over. "Bad. Killing chickens and cows. My wolf was hungry and angry and he didn't care. I tried to live with the wild wolves, up north. Canada? I think it was Canada. Alaska? They didn't want me either. Too different. They smelled my evil."

"You're not evil," Wilde said before I could. "Animals simply don't like werewolves. Even wild wolves know we could kill them if we chose."

"I came back. All I had was paws." He sucked in a long breath. "Alpha, I'm tired."

I looked over at Wilde, who was about this man's size. "Can we borrow some clothes for the car ride? I'll make sure to get them back to you."

Wilde's focus had been intent on Asher since he'd shifted. He looked over at me now. "Sure, I can do that. Better yet, I have a quiet house, a long couch, and plenty of food. Why not let him spend the night here?"

I wanted to get back to the hotel. Rob and I were due a long conversation… except it wasn't one to have with Asher there. Leaving him with Wilde would solve several problems. I wanted to say yes, but was that me being greedy and selfish? "I'm his Alpha. If he can't sleep or shifts again, he'll need me close."

"He's half asleep now." Wilde nodded to where Asher's eyes were drifting shut. "With all due respect, Alpha, I can keep him here and keep him from hurting himself, at least if Phillip and Blake stick around to help me."

"Sure," Phillip said. "Most interesting thing to happen in this town in years."

I looked at Rob, who held his hands open at his sides. Your call.

Wilde gave me a narrow look. "One question, though, Alpha. If he wakes up and asks about you, who you are, where you live— because that's going to be where he lives now— what do you want me to tell him?"

I wondered if that was his own curiosity in disguise, but the answer would be the same. "Tell him you don't know. We were traveling through town, until things got complicated. Tell him he belongs with me and Rob. We're his pack now, but what piece of land we anchor our feet on is a problem for tomorrow. Wherever that turns out to be, he's welcome."

"All right." His expression softened as he looked at Asher, who was listing sideways, eyelids drifting down. "I'm gonna throw a sheet on the couch. Someone else can do the heavy lifting and get him up there. All those years I've lived gotta have some perks." He hurried off and came back with a dark-blue sheet which he tucked around the couch cushions.

I knelt and scooped Asher up awkwardly, grateful for Rob's hand under my armpit to help get me off the floor. Supernatural strength would've been nice, but our wolves didn't give us power, just endurance. Together, Rob and I settled Asher onto the couch. Wilde tossed the fleece blanket over him. We wolves didn't feel the cold much, but human comfort might be welcome when he woke.

Squatting by Asher's head, I shook him lightly.

"Yeah? Wha'?" He blinked, then his eyes flew open. "You! I mean, Alpha. Right? I didn't dream that?"

"Settle." I kept a hand on his shoulder, pinning him in place. "Here's the deal. You're spending the night here on Wilde's couch. If you wake up, there's food on the table and the perishables will be in the fridge. Eat, rest, eat some more."

"Okaaay." He dragged the word out like there must be a catch.

"Phillip and Blake will be hanging around. If you feel like you need to run, you tell them. Run in skin, not in fur. Got it? No shifting."

"Yes, Alpha." For some reason, I could feel that command calm him.

"Our Second and I are going back to our place. We need to do some strategizing." I ignored Rob's low chuckle. "We'll be back in the morning."

"Yes, sir." Already, sleep was dragging at Asher's voice again.

I pushed him down farther into the bedding. "Rest. See you in the morning."

"S'you," he mumbled, eyes closing, but he groped blindly toward my wrist.

Wilde slipped a hand between us and took Asher's fingers in his. "I've got him, Alpha. You go ahead."

"Why are you so willing to look out for him?"

The old man slid down to sit on the floor, his hand in Asher's grip. "Paying it forward. Someone did a thing for me once." He looked over at Blake. "Get the Alpha's cell number and bring me a cushion to sit on."

After a moment of battling with my sense of responsibility, I couldn't resist the chance to be alone with Rob. Blake followed us outside, while Phillip stayed behind watching Asher and Wilde. Night had fallen, and the sky glittered with a thousand stars. Golden light spilled from the front window, plenty for wolf eyes to find our way across the grass to our truck.

"Did you never think about becoming a pack here, you local lone wolves?" I asked.

Blake shook his head. "It wouldn't work. Wilde's the most dominant, but he doesn't want to be an Alpha. He says he's earned his retirement. Phillip's next, but I don't want him controlling me. I don't even know how Julian feels—" He pulled himself up short.

"The fourth wolf Wilde mentioned?"

"Yeah, um, forget I said anything. He's more like your usual lone wolf. You won't see him unless he wants you to."

If I form a local pack, we'll see about that. My thoughts caught up with me and I stumbled. A local pack? What the hell am I thinking? But there was a wolf I was responsible for back in that cabin, and my drive to the coast had always been about escaping the past, not running toward a future. I hadn't thought about my old pack in hours, caught up in this tiny new one.

First things first. Rob.

At the truck, Blake pulled out his phone and flipped it open. "Can I have your number, Alpha? Just in case?"

"Yes, and give it to the others. Tell them to send me a text with their name if their phone does that. Call me if it doesn't. You do yours now." I rattled off my digits.

My phone chimed in my pocket. I didn't take it out. "Good, thank you."

Blake eyed me. "You really grew up toppy, didn't you? When I left, you were what, just turned thirteen? Only months in the pack, when Kane killed the Alpha."

"Yeah." I didn't want to look back at that, not now.

"Years later, when Phillip and I heard you beat Kane and were Alpha, we cheered, you know."

"Heard from who?"

Blake looked down, and I decided not to push.

"Why didn't you come back if you knew Kane was gone?"

"We like it here. Anyway, you being better than Kane was a low bar. No guarantee we'd have been safe under you."

That was true enough. I'd worked on my pack's attitudes over the nineteen years I was Alpha but hadn't dared come out myself. There were still plenty who might make trouble for a queer wolf. And back in 1991? There'd been even more. "Fair enough."

Blake stared at my feet in the dim light, then at Rob's. "You think you might maybe stay here? It's a quiet town, not much to do, but the hunting's great, there's all the room in the world to run, and folks know how to mind their own business."

"Do you want me to stay? You stole my truck so I'd take Asher out of your hair and leave."

"Sorry. And that was then. Now?" He raised his eyes to mine, starlight in his dark pupils. "I miss having a pack, running like we did tonight. I don't know if I trust you yet, but I feel like maybe I could. Someday. You're, like, in control, and you could let Wilde be an elder and take Phillip so he'd settle mid-pack, no sweat."

My head was a jumble and if Blake saw me in control, that just showed I was a better actor than I realized. "We'll be back tomorrow morning," I told him. "And go from there."