CHAPTER 35 - BLAKE

Thank the Bloodmaiden for vampire reflexes. I'd been gawking at Pendragon like a fool, but every time her head seemed to be about to move in my direction, I'd glance away so she'd have no idea.

I'd noticed Regan looking at me strangely once or twice but I didn't think she'd seen anything. I still glared at her to put her in her place. I was her fucking archon and she knew it.

Things between us were rocky. I mean, they had been all last year, if not before that. But now, with Pendragon thrown into the mix, they were worse. Regan had always been insecure. I think she actually thought her feelings for me were real.

She knew I didn't reciprocate. Honestly, I found it hard to take her "feelings" for me seriously. I didn't think they were based on anything more than her hunger for power and status. Being paired with me gave her both. She seemed to think "love" should be part of the bargain. But that wasn't how it worked. I wasn't obligated to love her.

We'd been paired together to be mates out of political convenience. Because my uncle needed to shore up power and Lord Pansera had shoved his daughter in front of him at the perfect time. I had no idea if my father would have ultimately approved of our match, especially considering how Regan had turned out. Even though our families had grown up together and Regan had always been pushed my way, I'd always hoped he'd let me do my own choosing. After all, he'd wound up with my mother–and with only her. That had been their choice. They'd opted not to form a triad, even though they might have been stronger with a third mate.

Sometimes I wondered if my father would still be alive if he'd formed a triad. Who could say.

I wasn't the only one with my head in the clouds as we sat in the refectory.

Theo wasn't even pretending to listen as Regan and Quinn went on and on about what they were going to wear to the Dance of the Longest Night and what they were going to eat and who they were going to talk to–and not talk to, of course.

He was too busy staring across the refectory at Vaughn Sabino, not even caring who saw.

I looked over at the blightborn boy. Sabino's arm was no longer in a sling. He had it perched on the table and was holding a quill as he scribbled something on parchment. That was a good sign. I knew that Sabino had wanted to be a scout. Coregon had bragged that the blightborn wouldn't be able to become one now, thanks to the damage to his arm. Maybe Coregon hadn't done as much harm to the boy as he'd liked to think.

I winced, thinking about Coregon. Sometimes I still couldn't believe he was really gone. Deep down, he'd been even more of a cold-blooded asshole than I was. But he'd hidden it well.

There were times it would have been nice to have him back. Or at least, useful. He'd been good at helping me to shut Regan up, to put her in her place. He'd helped me keep everyone in line.

He really would have been a good choice for my second.

But now I knew what he'd really been thinking. That I hadn't been capable of managing my house on my own.

I gave Theo a playful punch on the arm. "Hey. Stop staring." I said it low enough that only he'd be able to hear.

He jerked his head up, then glared at me.

"What are you looking at me like that for?" I said, frowning. I lowered my voice again. "I'm not the one who did that to him."

He shook his head. "Right. And you expect me to believe that."

I felt my face flush. "I do expect you to believe that. Because it's the truth."

He looked at me. "Next thing you'll tell me Uncle Viktor didn't tell you that you had to keep me in line. Keep me from humiliating our family with my little ‘indiscretions.'"

I leaned towards him. "You know I don't give a fuck about your indiscretions."

But there was no way I was going to tell him the truth about just how little Viktor cared about him. Or Marcus.

I slung my arm around his shoulder. "You're my second now, Theo. We have to trust each other."

He shrugged my arm off and stood up. "Maybe you should pick someone else."

He slunk out of the refectory before I could think of the right thing to say.

"Shit," I muttered under my breath.

The girls were still gossipping about some bullshit.

It was only when Quinn brought up the Consort Games that I tuned back in.

"You must be looking forward to putting that little Pendragon bitch in her place, Regan," Quinn gushed. She was such a suck-up. She'd managed to crawl so far up Regan's ass I didn't think she'd ever come out again. But then, Regan loved that sort of thing. She only wanted girls around her who would worship her.

"Oh, I am, believe me," Regan started to say.

I slammed my palms down on the table. "What was that?"

Regan fell silent.

I slid down the bench and positioned myself across from the three girls. Regan, Quinn, and Visha.

Visha was the only one who met my eyes.

"Regan, you know my position on the Consort Games," I said firmly. "And you're going to toe the fucking line. Aren't you?"

Regan twirled a strand of hair around her finger and sighed.

"Regan, look at me, dammit."

She sulkily met my eyes. "Yes. Fine. I am. You know that. A girl can still dream, can't she?"

I rolled my eyes. Only Regan would dream of murdering her fellow consort. Well, maybe not only Regan. It happened once in a while. But it wasn't supposed to.

"You don't want to piss off old Uncle Viktor, now do you, Regan?" I reminded her.

I hated myself for doing it, but I reached a hand forward and lightly cupped her cheek. "Or me, baby. Right?"

Her gaze softened as she looked at me. "Of course not. You know I'm a good girl."

"The very best," I said, letting my voice take on the hint of a drawl. "Such a good girl for me."

She bit her lip. "Blake..."

I knew exactly what she was going to ask later. She'd want to come to my room that night. She wanted to come to my room every fucking night.

But I'd shut her out months ago. It had driven her crazy. I hadn't even let her go down on me. No matter how sex crazed I'd felt sometimes. And it had been pretty bad at some points.

I wasn't sure exactly what was wrong with me. But Regan had lost all appeal. Even in bed. And she had a good body, there was no denying that. She was exceptionally... bendy.

It was all Pendragon's fault. Ever since that day I'd found her. Even covered with that prick, Barnabas's blood, she'd been a breathtaking sight.

I thought of that day constantly.

Medra Pendragon might have been the most infuriating girl I'd ever known. She certainly ignited my worst emotions. And yet I'd never get that vision of her out of my head. Naked and yet still looking down her nose at me. Breasts splattered with blood and yet standing as tall and straight as a queen.

She was a blightborn. She shouldn't have been capable of doing what she did to me.

But it was like she didn't even understand what she was.

She wasn't like other girls who fawned over me and bent to my will. I'd sampled plenty of those in my first year at Bloodwing. Even Regan had fallen into that category eventually, though at first she'd pretended to have an actual backbone and mind of her own. It had all been an act. She'd been trying to hold my interest. And it worked–for a little while.

But no, Pendragon met me with brutal words and cold glares. She made it clear she had no intention of falling at my feet. Yet despite that–no, fuck, because of it–I couldn't stop thinking about her.

There was something about being challenged that made her irresistible. That glimmer of rebellion in her eyes, like a light that promised to never go out. The way she resisted what most girls would normally crave.

I couldn't shake her from my thoughts. If I'd at least been able to just taste her, then maybe I'd have been able to get her out of my head. But even that was impossible. To do so would undo exactly what my uncle claimed he wanted us to get out of this.

Hell, part of me suspected he never wanted me to taste Pendragon–because he planned to take her for himself.

And that thought made me see blood red. It would never happen, not while I lived.

I didn't want to stand up to Viktor. I fucking hated the man, but I wasn't an idiot. I knew he was stronger than me.

Still, I'd do it, even if I knew it was suicidal, if I thought there was a chance it would keep Pendragon out of his slimy old hands.

In a world where everyone else bowed to us, she stood tall. Defiant and unbroken. It made Regan hate her. But to me, it only made her more alluring.

I closed my eyes for a moment. Remembering her perfect breasts. That thatch of red curls between her pale thighs.

Every night I jerked off to the same thing. Just different variations.

My favorite fantasy this week involved going down on her. She'd push me away, tell me to get out of her room, then she'd change her mind and grab me by the hair and pull me back, shoving my head down between her legs.

I'd lick long and deep, tasting her sweet saltiness, while she moaned. She didn't want this. And yet she did. That was what made it so fucking good. Knowing we couldn't stand each other. Yet knowing we couldn't keep our hands off one another.

I'd reach a hand up to cup one perfect breast, rubbing my finger over her nipple until it was taut, while my tongue circled her clit and she arched her hips against me.

I'd bring her to her climax, swift and intense, and then I'd climb over her, letting her get a good look at me. I'd tell her this was what she'd done to me. She'd bite her lip and tell me she needed me inside her, couldn't wait another minute.

I'd bend down and kiss her sweet lips while I wrapped my hands in that gorgeous mane of red curls, all spread out around her head like a halo of flame, and then I'd slide inside of her. I'd try to be slow and gentle, but soon I'd be out of control. She'd be clawing at my back, begging me to take her harder, faster...

Visha cleared her throat and I jerked out of my reverie, suddenly remembering where I was.

I sighed and ran my hands over my face, shifting on the bench to get more comfortable. It was fucking humiliating. It was also ironic. Pendragon had been given to me as a prize and yet I couldn't even claim her. She was untouchable. I couldn't even feed from her without our bond getting stronger first. Of course, she didn't know that. If she did, she'd never let me get close to her ever again.

Regan and Quinn were standing up to go. They pecked each other on the cheek as if they actually cared about each other. It was sweet in a nauseating kind of way.

"You're not coming, Visha?" Regan said, looking down at the dark-haired girl.

Visha shook her head. "I'll just hang here until supper time. See you back in the tower."

Regan looked at me with a question in her eyes. "Blake..."

I shook my head. "I'll see you back at the tower later on, too." Then I looked away.

Regan stood there a moment longer then walked off. I heard her start chattering like a magpie again as she ran into Larissa and Gretchen. The third and fourth meanest girls at Bloodwing, after Regan and Quinn.

I watched as the girls approached Pendragon's table. Her friend, Sharma, started looking uncomfortable. They were putting him through the ringer, no doubt. Pendragon's face grew more and more angry. Then she snapped at them. I watched Larissa's face redden with embarrassment and had to stop myself from bursting out laughing.

Then their conversation seemed to wind up. To my surprise, Regan lingered. Pendragon stood up and followed her. She talked to the other girl for a minute. Whatever they were discussing didn't seem to make her happy.

I thought I knew what it was about.

I turned back to Visha. She pushed a hand through her short-cropped white hair. She liked to change up her style. Last week she'd shaved it down almost to the scalp. She looked pretty badass. Unlike Regan's other friends, Visha had a mind of her own.

It had taken me a while to realize that. I still didn't think Regan had.

"You still pissed at me for what happened with Pendragon?" She said, with typical Vaidya bluntness.

I met her violet gaze. "I was for a while. I told you to test her. Not fucking beat her to a pulp and try to knife her."

She shrugged. "It was too tempting to resist."

I nodded. "Fine. Let's move on. You got a taste. But I won't tolerate it if you take another. Do you understand?"

Slowly, she nodded. Unlike Coregon, Visha knew what I was really capable of. I knew she'd fall in line.

"The Consort Games are coming up," I said to her. "Have you decided?"

She blew out a breath. "Fuck, Blake. That's a big decision."

"I know," I said carefully. "The biggest one of your life. Don't wind up like me."

She rolled her eyes. "I'm more worried I'll wind up like Regan, if I'm being honest."

"I don't think you'll ever have to worry about that happening," I said quietly.

She studied me. "You really don't think she'll listen?"

I shook my head. "I doubt it. She's not usually a risk-taker, but I think I know her well enough to know this is one risk she'll think is worth taking."

Visha nodded. "I think so, too."

"Good thing I've got you on my side," I joked.

She smiled wryly. "Just don't let Regan get the wrong idea."

"We'll talk fast," I agreed. "I think you already know what needs to be done."