CHAPTER 18 - MEDRA

As I stumbled across the sand in the dark, heading back towards where I'd left my boots, a shadow drifted out of the night.

I reached for my knife, heart pounding, waiting for the moonlight to illuminate the stranger.

"Medra? Is that you?"

I stopped, my heartbeat slowing. "Vaughn?"

It was Vaughn Sabino. The mortal boy who had nearly been my match in Basic Combat class the first day.

"What are you doing here?" I asked with surprise.

"Oh, you know." I caught him shrugging. "Out for a moonlight stroll. It's a beautiful night." Then he grinned mischievously.

My heart sank. "You're going to the party."

He nodded. "Theo invited me."

"Theo?" I shook my head. Just how many blightborns had Theo invited? "He invited me, too. Florence already left. Did you see her on your way down?"

He shook his head. "Why don't you come back with me?" he suggested. "I wouldn't mind some company."

I shook my head emphatically. "No. I'm not going back there." I hesitated. "To be honest, I wouldn't suggest you go either, Vaughn. It's all highbloods. The only mortals are..." I paused, trying to remember the word Florence had used. "Sellbloods?"

For a moment, his grin faltered slightly. Then he shrugged. "Sounds about right. I'm still going. Theo..." His voice trailed off. The moonlight wasn't bright enough for me to actually see him blushing but somehow I knew he was.

"Oh," I said at last. "So it's like that."

He shrugged sheepishly. "I mean, he's Theo Drakharrow. He's charming."

"He is," I agreed. I thought of how Theo had at least made Kiernan stop the thrallweave he was using on Florence. "Well, I suppose if you were going to fall for a highblood, you could do worse."

"Thanks," Vaughn replied, with a laugh. "I'm not sure I've fallen for him yet. But we'll see how things go. Are you all right to walk back alone?"

I thought of the knife between my breasts. I tilted my head. "After I beat you in class, you still actually have the nerve to ask that?"

Vaughn laughed. "See you there tomorrow, Medra."

I watched him disappear into the night. Should I have told him about what Blake had done to Kiernan? Would he still have gone?

Maybe Theo would tell him. I hoped Theo knew what he was doing...and that he'd keep Vaughn safe.

I strolled along the beach, walking closer to where the waves were crashing onto the shore.

I wanted to get back to Florence. But even after all that had transpired, I was still restless. I could practically feel the blood pounding in my veins. Longing for... what? Release?

For something. Something I couldn't pinpoint.

I trailed my feet in the water. The chill feel of it against my skin was cold and bracing. I kicked at a crashing wave and the spray splashed back onto my bare arms and calves.

A sound from up ahead made me freeze. I looked along the beach.

There was another figure coming towards me.

At first I thought it was just another student on their way to the party.

Then I realized this was a much smaller form.

A child.

My brow furrowed. Even shrouded in darkness I could tell this was a young girl. Small and slender. She couldn't have been more than nine or ten. Clearly she didn't belong to the chaotic party I'd just left behind.

"Are you all right?" I called out, my voice carrying over the waves. I quickened my pace a little.

A child shouldn't have been out here in the dead of night.

The girl didn't answer.

The moon came out from behind the cloud that had been partially hiding it and answered for her.

The girl was a vampire. Her telltale hair was braided into a white crown around her head.

As we neared one another, her pale face came into view. A thin trail of blood trickled down her chin, dark in the moonlight.

"Are you...hurt?" I asked, my voice laced with unease. But I already knew the answer.

She didn't reply. Instead, she raised a small hand to her face, wiping at the blood. Then she brought it to her mouth, licking her fingers with a practiced motion. Just like Kiernan had nearly done with my blood.

The girl's eyes locked onto mine with an eerie, unsettling calm. She smiled. What should have been the innocent smile of a child seemed far more sinister.

I knew this girl, I realized. I'd seen her that first day, sitting on the edge of the dais in the Black Keep, kicking her feet in boredom. Her presence on the dais meant she belonged to one of the four great houses.

My skin prickled, but I forced myself to remain composed. She was still just a child, I reminded myself. "You should get back home. Do you need me to go with you?"

The girl said nothing, just kept smiling that haunting smile as she drifted past.

I stood there, frozen in indecision for a moment, watching the small figure vanish into the darkness. If it had been a blightborn child, I wouldn't have let them go. But the girl...

She seemed like she could take care of herself. I turned away.

I'd just taken a few more steps forward when a soft whimper broke through the quiet. It came from the shadows, just beyond the waterline.

Another child.

My heart leaped into my throat, my body moving before my mind could even catch up. I sprinted towards the sound.

I scanned the darkness, looking for a child's shape. But there was nothing.

Then, in the dark, I found it. No more than the size of both my hands.

A small puppy, its fur matted with blood, lying in the sand. It was barely breathing. Its body trembled weakly as a soft whine escaped its throat.

I dropped to my knees beside it, my hands shaking as I carefully lifted up the limp form. The warmth of its blood stained my hands.

Horror flooded me as I realized who must have done this.

The girl.

"Hang on," I whispered to the little creature.

I held it close to my chest and it let out another faint whimper, its eyes dull with pain.

My pulse raced as I turned back towards the castle and started to run.

In the light of the First Year common room, I could see that what I had rescued wasn't a dog like I'd first thought.

This creature looked as if a fox had mated with an owl.

It had a coat of reddish-orange fur, like the last of the autumn leaves, except for its chest which was a soft creamy white. The animal's eyes were wide and round. They seemed impossibly large for its small face, gleaming like gold in the firelight.

Now that I could see it more closely, the pup wasn't much bigger than a kitten. It lay where we had placed it on a soft blanket on top of a large footstool near the fire. The pup's huge bushy, red tail curled around it. As Florence crouched down on the floor next to it, the creature let out a small cry.

"It's a fluffin," Florence said softly, as she inspected the wounds. "A male, if I'm not mistaken."

"What is it exactly?" I leaned down. "Some kind of a dog?"

We were lucky. The common room was empty. Otherwise I wasn't sure what our fellow students might have thought of my bringing back a bleeding animal.

Florence had already been in her room by the time I'd returned. Part of me felt bad for banging on her door to wake her. But part of me thought letting her go to sleep without talking through what had happened that night would be worse.

"They're related to dogs, yes," she said, absent-mindedly, as she gently ran her fingers over the animal's tiny body. "This one is just a baby. Did you see the mother anywhere nearby?"

I shook my head. "It's that young then?"

"Yes. Just a few weeks old. Naveen had one when we were young, but he got it when the pup was older. They aren't supposed to be taken away from their litter when they're this young."

Naveen and Florence had grown up together. I'd forgotten. "So, he lived in Veilmar and had one of these?"

"No, that was before my mother and I came to Veilmar. When we lived closer to Naveen and his family in the country. Their dwarven settlement was underground, of course. Fluffins actually live underground. It's rare for one to be up on the surface."

Right. I remembered them talking about some sort of stairwell access to the underground city Naveen came from.

The idea of an entire race of people who dwelled below the surface was fascinating to me. I made a mental note to read up on dwarven culture. Right after I'd read up on fluffins. And dragons. And how to get my mother's soul out of my head.

And here I thought you'd forgotten about me, Orcades chided gently. Not that I'm not content where I am. A pause. That betrothed of yours is certainly a forceful man. Handsome, too.

No. Nope, I muttered internally. We are not discussing that. Not right now. Possibly never.

Oh, all right. She sighed. But he would make a wonderful fae. Your grandfather would have loved him.

I clenched my jaw. That is not the glowing endorsement you seem to think it is, Mother.

I know you killed him, but Gorlois le Fay had his good points once, she began.

I cut her off. I had recently discovered a way to silence her. It was one of the accidental benefits of what Professor Rodriguez had been teaching me. Compartmentalization.

My mind quiet again, I watched as a soft glow spread from Florence's hand, enveloping the creature, centering on its wound.

Fascinated, I watched as the wound closed slightly, but not entirely.

"A highblood did this." She looked up at me.

I nodded in confirmation. "I think so. Can you tell for certain by looking at the wounds?"

"Someone fed from him. He's lost a lot of blood. I can tell that much." She stroked the fluffin's fur. The creature's eyes were half-closed. "But then they also did this." She pointed to the long gash along the little pup's side. "Why?"

"I don't know, Florence." I shifted uncomfortably in my spot on the floor. "I sort of hoped you might have a guess."

She shook her head mutely. "So cruel. So pointless. And why feed on a pup? Highbloods don't normally use animals. It's considered beneath them."

I stayed silent as she reached for the kit she'd brought down from her room and pulled out clean bandages and a bottle of salve. Carefully, she applied the salve to the wound. The pup whimpered, its eyes flickering open again.

"I'm sorry, little one," Florence whispered. "I'll be as gentle as I can." She glanced up at me. "I can't heal it completely. I'm not that skilled. All I can do is stitch it and hope for the best."

I watched as she worked, stitching along the gash, the horrible wound oozing blood onto the salve.

The little pup stirred slightly, letting out another weak whimper, his wide, owl-like eyes flitting open then closing again.

"He's so little, so fragile," Florence said sadly, as she wrapped bandages snugly around the fluffin's torso. "I've done what I can but he's still feverish. Whoever attacked him did more damage than I can heal. The fever might come down on its own. But...it might not."

I crouched beside the fluffin pup, watching as he breathed shallowly. He seemed to be falling asleep.

"So what do we do?" I'd hoped Florence would have the wisdom I lacked. The magic solution. Something that would set everything to rights.

But when I looked into her dark eyes, I saw she felt as lost as I did.

She sat back on her heels. "We'll let it rest for tonight. But we might need help–real help–tomorrow." She hesitated. "One of the house healers would be best. Someone with more skill or stronger magic. If the fever doesn't break, if the wound gets infected, it could get worse."

The fluffin pup lay quietly, his small chest rising and falling gently. I pulled the blanket overtop, tucking it in around him. I thought again of the girl on the beach. I wasn't going to tell Florence about her. Not yet. She'd been through enough tonight already.

"We'll figure it out in the morning," I said quietly. I examined my friend. She looked exhausted and sad.

Florence slowly lifted her head and met my eyes. "I'm sorry."

"For what? You have nothing to be sorry for, Florence. I understand why you left."

"Yes, but I should have waited for you..."

"Stop." I raised my hand. "Please. I'm the one who should be apologizing. I should never have made you come. It was so stupid of me. This is exactly what I was afraid of–of you getting hurt because of me." I thought of Florence's mother, Jia, and the way the Drakharrow students were treating her. It all came back to me.

"Maybe you were right after all," Florence said, staring down at the floor.

I took a deep breath. "What do you mean?"

She looked at me. "I mean... maybe they are monsters."

I was shocked. "The highbloods?"

She nodded. "All my life..." She lifted her chin and gave a brittle laugh. "Can I tell you something, Medra? All my life I've wanted to be one."

"A highblood?"

She nodded. "They're strong. Beautiful. They all belong . We blightborn... We don't have that. Do you know what I mean?"

I wasn't sure I did, so I said nothing.

"We only belong in terms of how we relate to them . And that used to make me feel safe. Coming here made me feel safe. They wanted me. Our protectors wanted me. They saw value in me. Some day they might even need me." She gave a hollow laugh. "But tonight..."

Florence's worldview was changing. And that might be a good thing. But I didn't want her to go too far. Because her mother had been right. Florence's ideals, no matter how naive I might think them, did protect her. They were a comfort. And I didn't want her stripped of all that. Not in a single night. Not because of me.

"That boy. Kiernan. The one who did that to you. He's dead," I said quietly. "I thought you should know."

Her eyes widened."What? Medra, what did you do?"

"Not me. Blake Drakharrow."

Her eyes widened. "Because of me?"

"Not just because of that," I hedged. I doubted Blake even knew what had happened to Florence. Or if it would have affected him one bit if he had known. No, he'd done what he'd done to Kiernan because someone had threatened me . His property. Not because he cared about either Florence or myself. "Kiernan threatened me after you left. Blake... He threw him into the fire."

Florence covered her mouth.

"Is that typical?" I still had no idea. "Do highbloods usually kill each other like that?"

"The rules are different for highbloods," Florence said slowly. "I'm starting to wonder if there even are rules for them at all. But if Kiernan did something to threaten you then I suppose Blake could easily argue that it was a challenge to House Drakharrow's honor and he'd been within his rights."

"Kage Tanaka was there, too. I think it had something to do with him."

Florence nodded. "There's a strong rivalry between those two. But they seem to keep it in check. At least, they did before this."

I decided not to point out we were only a few weeks into the start of term. There was plenty of time for things to go to hell.

"What happened to you was wrong, Florence. So wrong. I'm so sorry it happened tonight. I thought the party would be fun. I made a massive mistake." To my shock, I realized I was near tears. "You could have died."

Florence slid around the ottoman, careful not to disturb the sleeping pup. "Hey. Medra. It's all right." She put her arms around me and I leaned into the embrace, smelling the scent of the lavender salve she'd been using. She smelled calm and comforting. Peaceful. I squeezed her back gratefully.

When she pulled away, her face was solemn. "Besides, you already had it happen to you. You know what thrallweave is like. Having someone in your head like that... It's so violating. When I got back to the dormitory, the first thing I did was throw up."

"I don't blame you," I said, eying her sympathetically. "And you're right. It's a horrible violation."

"I'm glad Kiernan is dead," she said slowly. "Isn't that terrible? There must be something wrong with me."

"There is nothing wrong with you, Florence," I said firmly. "I'm glad he is, too. That wasn't the first encounter I had with him. He seemed like a nasty piece of work."

"But it's so final. He's just gone. Forever. Even he didn't deserve that. Did he?" She hiccuped and I realized she was trying to hold back sobs.

I slipped my arm around her shoulders. "You didn't do it. You didn't hurt him. Neither did I. It was out of our hands."

Was it true? I'd wanted to kill Kiernan, yes. But I hadn't done it. Blake had beaten me to it. I doubted he was sitting by the bonfire crying and wracked with guilt right now. No, he was probably drinking with Regan. Or doing other things.

"None of this was your fault," I repeated. "None of it. Kiernan knows the system better than either of us. He was a highblood. He knew what might happen. He acted like a bastard... and he paid the price."

"Maybe he paid the price Kage Tanaka should have paid," Florence suggested, saying exactly what I'd been thinking. "Didn't he say Kage sent him over?"

"You think he was what? Expendable? That Kage knew what was going to happen? That it was some kind of a test?"

Florence shrugged. "Maybe. I don't know how highbloods think. I'm realizing that more and more every day."

"But you grew up with them. In a highblood house, I mean..."

"I grew up worshiping them. Idolizing them. Adoring them. But it was always from afar. I didn't really see them up close that often. They had children my age, but we weren't friends. The family my mother served lived in, well, basically a palace. We lived in a little cottage on the grounds with the other servants. I would see the highblood family from time to time and they were so beautiful. They looked so noble. Then there were feast days and rites at the temples. We all worship them, Medra. I don't think you quite understand." She shook her head. "One day we'll go into Veilmar. Then maybe you'll get it."

"I'd like that," I said. "I want to understand. I really do. Sellbloods, for instance. You said there were some at the party? The ones being fed from?"

She nodded.

"What are they exactly?"

She colored. "They work at brothels. But not the kind you're thinking of," she said quickly. "Blood brothels. They sell their blood."

I stared at her. "Like thralls?" I didn't see the difference.

She shook her head. "No, they're not thralls. They're not under any kind of enthrallment for one. And they don't belong to a certain highblood or certain house. They might get some pleasure from the act. I'm not certain. Having your blood taken... Well, no one really claims it's painful. Not that I've heard."

I didn't want to think about how pleasurable it might or might not have been to have Blake Drakharrow suck my blood.

"So some people make their living this way?" I said. "Selling their blood?"

"Yes. It's the way some blightborn choose to live. But they're often looked down upon for it."

"What a surprise," I said with irony. "Seems to be the way with brothel workers. No matter what kind or where you are."

"Some sellbloods do both," she said hesitantly. "Sell their blood and their bodies, I mean. There are certain brothels that cater to that."

I tilted my head thoughtfully. "If they're selling to highbloods then I'm not sure why they'd be looked down upon. I thought serving a vampire was the highest honor. No matter how you served."

"You're right, but... that's just how it is," Florence said lamely. "They're often despised. The lowest of the low. Blightborns treat them poorly and highbloods don't really treat them any better. Their work can be dangerous. They're more vulnerable."

She looked at me and shook her head abruptly. "How can you be so strong, Medra?"

"What do you mean?" I asked in surprise.

"Tonight. With everything that happened. You saw Kiernan get killed. You saw what he did to me and you didn't just stand there–you acted. Which is more than I did for you when Regan was thrallweaving you in the Dragon Court. You've already been through so much and look at you, you're barely rattled."

"Believe me, I am. But on the inside." But I knew what she meant. I tried to think of how to explain. "You don't want to be like me, Florence. Trust me."

She frowned. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, I'm like this for a reason. I'd rather be like you."

She gave me a disbelieving smile.

"It's true," I insisted. "You're so..." I searched for the right word. There were many I might have used. Honorable. Kind. Naive. Idealistic. "Good," I settled on. "You have a good heart."

"You do, too," she said immediately. "I've seen it. You've been kind to me. Kind to Naveen."

"But I'm not kind. Not nice. Not really. I never have been. Even as a child. I've never viewed the world as a good place. I've never really believed that good would triumph over evil or that people are naturally good at heart." And it was certainly even harder to believe in those things here in Sangratha. "I'm a pessimist, I guess," I finished awkwardly. "I'm always inclined to think the worst of people, not the best."

Florence was staring at me. I wanted to look away from those soft, gentle eyes but I didn't.

"Medra," she said. "Sometimes the problem is that we don't see ourselves the way others do. Look at what you did tonight."

I frowned. "What do you mean?"

"I mean look at the fluffin. You found him on the beach. You could have left him there to die. So why didn't you? Because you hoped against hope that he would live. And why did you want that? Because you have a kind heart. Because you're a good person."

I didn't want to argue with her. I knew there was nothing good about me.

I tried to smile. "Maybe. Maybe there's hope for me yet."

"I know there is," she said firmly. "You're my friend, after all. And I have the best friends. You and Naveen."

But when I went to sleep that night, my dreams weren't filled with Florence or Naveen or the fluffin pup.

I saw only a man with piercing gray eyes standing in front of a blazing bonfire.