31. Bennett

Bennett

The news hit me like a freight train. Had Xander really been traded to Newark? A tightness gripped my chest, while a knot formed in the pit of my stomach. My heart hammered against my ribs. The icy fingers of dread gripped me at the implications this held for us. Yet, I had to swallow my raging emotions; we were still broadcasting live, our listeners hanging on our every word.

His phone, which he still held in his hand, stopped vibrating. Xander glanced at it as if he didn't know how it got there.

And then a thought suddenly hit me. Only this morning, I was having the time of my life with him. Now there was the possibility that our lives were about to change drastically. Was it for the better or for the worse? I didn't know. But the thought was a scary one.

I couldn"t help but recall the first time I laid eyes on him, an encounter on the ice that would forever alter the course of our lives. The memory played out like a scene from a movie, the crisp air ringing with the sound of skates slicing through the ice as our eyes met across the rink, not with love but with heated intensity because we were both hungry for the win. First we were rivals, then teammates, and friends, and now he was the love of my life.

I tried to maintain a facade of calm. But beneath the surface, I was drowning in a sea of uncertainty. What would his trade mean for us? For our future? The thought of being separated from Xander, of watching him chase his dreams from afar and not by his side, filled me with a bone-deep ache I couldn"t shake.

"Next up." They were two syllables, but each one was hauled from deep within me as we continued with the podcast.

Below the table, Xander's hand sought mine – a silent squeeze that spoke volumes. One minute, his touch was a lifeline, grounding me in the midst of the storm, offering solace and strength when I needed it most. But in the next minute, it did little to quell the ache blooming in my heart at his looming departure. The hum of equipment seemed amplified, reverberating through the room.

Another memory surfaced, this one tinged with laughter and warmth as the team huddled together in the locker room after a hard-fought victory, our bodies still buzzing with the adrenaline of the game. Xander"s infectious grin lit up the room as he recounted a particularly epic play, his enthusiasm contagious as we basked in the glow of our shared victory.

But amidst the moments of euphoria were others tinged with a bittersweet nostalgia, like the time we sat together on the balcony of one of the hotels we stayed at when we were on the road, lost in quiet conversation as the city twinkled below us. It was a moment of intimacy that was now all the more precious in the face of our uncertain future. When I stole a glance at Xander, these memories settled over me like a heavy blanket, a reminder of all that we stood to lose when he left.

Why was I being negative? Why was I being my glass-half-empty self again? As Xander and I wrapped up the podcast and bid farewell to our audience, questions whirled in my head. What would my boyfriend"s trade mean for us? How could we manage being miles apart? Could we weather this together or would it rip us apart?

"Ry," Xander began, his voice tentative, "about what that caller said..."

I nodded, knowing exactly what he was referring to. "I know. It caught me off guard too."

My boyfriend's gaze searched mine, his eyes reflecting the same uncertainty that churned within me. "Do you think there"s any truth to it?"

I hesitated, grappling with the enormity of the question. "Honestly? I"m not sure. But even if it is just a rumor, it"s got me thinking..."

"About us," he finished, his voice barely a whisper.

I nodded again, a lump forming in my throat. "Yeah. About us."

Silence settled between us, heavy with our shared apprehension.

"We"ll figure it out, Ry," he said, repeating my earlier words to him, his voice steady. "Together."

Xander's words were like a lifeline, anchoring me in the midst of the uncertainty swirling around us. "I know," I replied, squeezing his hand in reassurance. "But it"s scary, you know? The thought of being apart..."

Xander"s grip tightened, his thumb tracing soothing circles against the back of my hand. "I know," he whispered. "But no matter what happens, I"m not going anywhere. You hear me? We"ll find a way to make it work."

Tears pricked at the corners of my eyes, overwhelmed by the depth of his commitment.

I rose to my feet, my arms opened wide. "Come here, Sunshine. Let me congratulate you the way you deserve."

Despite the storm clouds circling around my heart, I locked eyes with him when he also stood. I wanted him to see the sincerity of my words.

His brow furrowed slightly before he stepped into my arms. "We don"t know yet… you know how fans can get things wrong. It could just be a rumor." He rested his forehead on my shoulder, and I wrapped him in a hug that felt like a lifeline.

Reality pressed down on me like a leaden blanket.

Using my thumb and pointer finger, I tilted his chin up. "The Eagles would be fools not to snatch you up. And if my memory serves, they're no fools."

He looked at me uncertainly. "You really think so?"

Pressing my forehead against his, I whispered, "I know so."

"But what about us?" His voice was barely audible.

I gave him butterfly kisses on his cheeks. His lips. His forehead. With each press of my lips against him, I felt his body relax against me, little by little. "We"ll work things out." I slipped my hands on the back of his head and fingered the soft curls. "You can"t get rid of me that easily." I leaned in, tenderly pressing my lips against his in a kiss. Eventually, I pulled back, feeling a bit reluctant to part from the sweetness of his lips. "You got a message from Coach, didn't you?"

My boyfriend's eyes widened as if he'd forgotten he'd received a message from the man. "Yeah, he said I needed to see him at his office, stat."

"Time to go, babe."

A wave of panic threatened to swallow me whole but as we left the podcast room and navigated through the maze-like corridors of the arena, I forced myself to put on a brave face.

But inside… inside I fought a battle of emotions. On one hand was my wish to support Xander in achieving his dreams – he deserved this opportunity more than anyone else I knew. On the other hand was a gnawing fear; fear of losing him to a world beyond my grasp.

We needed to have that difficult conversation about our future, but for now, I would focus on being there for him. His happiness brought me comfort. And ultimately, my love for him outweighed everything else, and I only wanted what was best for him.