Chapter Twenty-Nine

CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

Cyrus

“I’ve got to get him some medication,” I told Melody, trying to tamp down the panic rising inside me.

“You need to get him to a hospital.”

That was definitely something I should do, but I also knew Crow, knew he didn’t trust anyone and how bad his experiences with the outside world had been. I worried what would happen if they tried to take him to the hospital. My mind flashed back to the way he’d nearly broken that guy’s hand, how his wrists had been bruised from the handcuffs. He would hate me.

But he would be alive.

That was the most important thing.

“I have to…I have to try something else first.” He was sleeping again now, though I didn’t know how long that would last. Sometimes it was brief, others it was hours.

The past two days had felt like the longest of my life. I hadn’t gotten any sleep, my mind unable to shut down, my worry for Crow a heavy weight that just kept growing.

I could call Officer Paulson. He’d given me his number, but I worried what Crow would do if the police showed up on his property.

“Can you meet me?”

“It’s dangerous to drive the truck down the mountain now. Not from as high up as he is.”

“I know. I can take the snowmobile.” A plan was forming in my head, one that was dangerous and probably stupid, but I needed to do this. I needed to be there for Crow, to give him what he needed without taking him off the mountain he loved so much.

“You’ll get lost.”

Shit, that was true, but… “Wait. What if you turn your location on for me? I can use my phone to follow directions to get down the mountain to you. Only drive up as far as is safe for you, and then…then I’ll make sure Crow’s is turned on for me too, so I can make my way back up to him.”

“He has a phone?”

I ignored that because it wasn’t important, not right now. “I’m so sorry, Melody. I hate that I’m asking so much of you. I didn’t even spend time with you when you asked, and now I’m… I love him.”

“It’s okay. You can make it up to me. What do you need?”

I gave her a list of medications and asked her to also get a humidifier, pulse oximeter, and a few other things. We would be fucked if he needed antibiotics.

“Are you sure this is a good idea, Cyrus?”

No, I absolutely wasn’t, but I didn’t know what else to do. I had to try and help Crow while keeping him home before I did anything else. “No, but it’s what he would want. If…if something happens to me and I don’t make it down, you have to call 911 and find a way for them to get up here and help him. Promise me, Melody.” She didn’t answer for a moment, and I begged, “Please…”

“Yes. I promise, but nothing better happen to you. I’d like to actually be able to hang out with you sometime.”

My heart swelled. Her unwavering friendship, without even really knowing me, meant the world to me. “Thank you…I don’t know what to say. I’ve never known someone like you.” Never had a friend like her. Tranquility wasn’t perfect, but it had brought me Melody…it had given me Crow.

“Thank me by not dying and then buying me lunch when you come back down the mountain.”

“Deal.” I chuckled, feeling anything but light.

We made plans. Melody would go to the store and then find a safe place to meet me. When she was there, she would text, and I’d head down. Cell signal was spotty on the mountain. That was a big concern, but I told myself that wouldn’t happen, that it would be okay because we deserved this. Crow deserved to get better, and I couldn’t lose him. I would die if I lost him.

It felt like an eternity before Melody let me know she was on her way up. Crow was still sleeping. I made sure the location on his phone was on and scribbled a quick note to tell him where I was before kissing his cheek. His skin was still on fire, the fever raging on.

“Please be okay.” My tears landed on his cheek. “Please, please, please. I love you. Be okay. I’ll be right back, and I’m going to make you better, Crow. I promise.” And then I walked out, hoping like hell this wasn’t a terrible mistake.

*

I had thosehand-warmer things stuffed into my coat, the sleeves, and along my torso. I was lucky I’d paid attention to where Crow kept the keys for the snowmobile. I checked the gas in it, the way I’d seen him do, and topped it off. I still wasn’t the best at driving this thing, and that was absolutely a concern.

I could get lost out there.

The cell could lose signal.

I could crash and freeze to death before anyone got to me.

There were a hundred things that I refused to believe could go wrong because all that mattered was Crow. I’d failed a lot in my life, failed at almost everything I’d done. I made mistake after mistake. I didn’t care what happened to me, but I would save Crow, one way or another.

The air felt like ice against my face. It wasn’t snowing at the moment, but it could pick up again at any time. I climbed onto the machine and checked my phone. I watched it for a good five minutes before I got a text from Melody telling me she was as high up as she could get.

On my way, I replied, then hit the buttons to get directions to her. It wasn’t as if they could tell me which tree to go left or right at, but at least it would help with the general direction. I went to the end of the driveway first. The gate wouldn’t open without plowing the snow, so I would have to go out of the way to travel down to the end of the fence and then back.

It felt like it took an eternity just to get to the end of the fence and then head back again. I was going to do my best to follow where the road was. Melody would have to be on it as well, but I didn’t know if I would lose it because of the snow cover. The area being open and without trees would help.

My hands were shaking as I gripped the throttle and sped up. My heart was beating too hard, too fast, too everything, but I willed myself to push through.

I didn’t drive the machine as fast as Crow did. When I tried to go a little faster again, it felt like I was going out of control. I couldn’t hold the phone the whole time, so every little while I would have to stop and check to make sure I was on the right path. The trees were creating a path for me, so I felt like I was. Every time I saw the blinking circle that showed me where Melody was, I breathed a sigh of relief.

It felt like a lifetime before there was a flash of a red truck in the distance, equipped with chains on the tires, waiting for me. Melody jumped out, threw her arms around me, and I wanted to melt into them, wanted to fall to my knees and thank her for being my friend, for mattering to her.

“Thank God. I’ve been worried sick!” She patted me down, held my face the way a mom would.

“I’m fine. I’m okay. I didn’t have any issues. I just need to get the stuff and get back to Crow.”

“Yeah, of course.” She held a bag out to me with her gloved hands. I stuffed it into the empty backpack I’d brought. “I called my cousin. He’s a doctor. We’re close enough that I felt safe telling him I had a friend who is in trouble. I explained the symptoms, and he wrote me a prescription for antibiotics. I nearly had to flash my boobs at the pharmacist to get him to put a rush on them.”

Oh God. She was amazing. She’d gotten me antibiotics. “You’re incredible! I don’t know what to say.”

“Just get home safe to your man and make sure he gets better. That’s the most important thing.”

I hugged her, just needing to be close to her. “Thank you. I’ll make it up to you. I promise.”

“No worries, but I don’t feel comfortable with you riding back up there…I should try to drive you or something.”

“The snowmobile is made for this. It’s much safer than the truck. I can’t put you in danger like that, Melody. You’ve already done too much for me, and nothing is stopping me from going back up that mountain and getting to Crow.”

“You really love him?” she asked, her voice louder so I could hear her over the wind.

“More than anything,” I admitted before hugging her again.

“What if he won’t take the medicine?”

“He’s going to take it.” Or I would die trying.

And hopefully, he wasn’t allergic to anything I gave him.

Snow started falling again, which sucked. It would make my drive up even harder. It was much more difficult to see with snow falling down around you.

“I have to go.”

“Okay,” she said. “Be safe and let me know when you’re back home.”

I nodded, pulled up directions to Crow, and drove away.

It was as if someone had hit a button and opened up the sky. The snow fell harder and harder, my visibility getting worse, the goggles collecting moisture. Everything in front of me was just fog and white, my stomach twisting, chest aching as I hoped and prayed that if there really was anyone out there, they would make sure I got to Crow. I just needed to get to Crow.

It felt like I’d been traveling up the mountain for a whole day, which clearly wasn’t possible. I stopped to check my phone again, the blinking circle that was home still there but looking too far for comfort.

I got going again, my breathing becoming more difficult, but I was pretty sure that was just because of the fear. I breathed out a sigh of relief when I reached the fence, then followed it until it ended, and I turned toward home again.

My head hurt from my eyes squinting while I tried to see. By the time I noticed the thick, brown barrier in front of me, it was too late. I must have veered off path somehow and hadn’t realized. I didn’t have time to react before the snowmobile rammed into the tree and I went flying.

I’m so sorry, Crow.

My shoulder slammed into a tree, pain shooting through it. All I could think at first was to be thankful it wasn’t my head, or that I hadn’t hurt one of my legs because there was a good chance I was going to have to walk.

I shoved to my feet, stumbling slightly. My head did ring some, but I didn’t have time to think about that right now. The backpack had flown off me, so I looked around, finding it about ten feet away, and grabbed that first. I hooked it onto my right shoulder, but my left was already screaming at me. Any time I tried to move, it felt like someone was trying to rip my arm off.

Ignore it. You have to ignore it and get to Crow.

I patted my pocket, unzipped it, thankful I’d closed the phone inside. Home still blinked for me, calling my name. The house, yes—I felt more at ease in Crow’s cabin than I ever had anywhere else—but even more than that, it was because of the man inside. He was my home, and I needed to get to him.

I rushed over to the snowmobile. It had turned off when I’d been thrown off, the emergency key Crow had shown me having done its job. I climbed on, ignoring the pain in my shoulder, the cold, and tried to restart it.

Nothing.

I tried a second time and a third. Nothing happened. “Fuck!” I shouted. Why couldn’t I stop fucking up?

Shoving off the machine again, I pulled the phone out and started to walk—trying not to focus on the fact that I’d just wrecked Crow’s snowmobile, or anything that would take up space in my head while I needed to focus on getting to him.

My teeth chattered, legs started to feel heavier and heavier. It felt like my insides were frozen, like my limbs were blocks of ice. Every time I fell, I fought to get to my feet again. Crow, Crow, Crow. I said his name over and over in my head, the only thing that kept me going.

My pulse felt like it was slowing, my heart too, my legs like concrete, unable to move. I fell, face landing in the snow.

Get up, get up, get up.

Crow’s mouth on mine, his hands on my skin, the way he looked at me, eyes filled with words he didn’t know how to say.

Get up, get up, get up.

Being on my knees for him, his cock in my mouth, anchoring me. His dick inside me, the greatest salvation I’ve ever known.

Get up, get up, get up.

Crow bathing me, cooking for me.

His rough voice saying one simple word:need.

He needed me.

I needed him.

Which meant I needed to get the fuck up.

I pushed onto my knees.

I’m coming, Crow.

I looked ahead, and in the distance I saw a light, saw home.

I checked the phone, but it had gone black. I tried to open the screen, but nothing popped up. Maybe snow had gotten inside. Maybe I was delusional. Maybe I was dead. I didn’t know, but I was going toward that light, hoping like hell it was really there.

I pushed harder than I ever had in my life, stumbling but still going as I rushed toward what I hoped was home.

Crow.

Home.

So close. You’re almost there. Keep going.

I didn’t know how it happened—if somehow I blocked it out, if it was a fucking miracle or what—but one moment I was forcing myself to walk, and the next the porch stairs were in front of me.

Tears froze against my face as I fell onto the wood.

The pain in my shoulder was gone, but I knew that was only temporary, that it would be back. For now, as I crawled toward the door, I felt nothing.