Chapter Twenty-Three

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

Cyrus

Crow made waffles and eggs for breakfast. While he cooked, I drank my coffee and sent a quick text to Melody to wish her a Merry Christmas. I’d been keeping in contact with her, as promised. It was nice to have a friend, or at least someone who could become a friend.

Crow and I sat together at the table with less heaviness than what had weighed me down the night before. I still felt a little useless, like he was the only one giving and I was just taking. That Crow would be better off without me. But I was fighting like hell not to lose myself to those thoughts. Crow said he wanted me. He said I was all he needed, and I did everything in my power to believe him.

Because mixed up with all that guilt, I felt so happy, I could fly. Crow wanted me, and had painted a Christmas tree on his wall for me, and had built me a box to keep my mom’s things in. He didn’t tell me he loved me, and maybe he never would, but he’d kissed away my tears and pressed his lips to mine one time. His actions showed he cared. That was enough—it was more than I thought I’d ever have.

“Have you ever had a snowball fight?”

Crow grunted, which I took as a no.

“Have you ever just played? Had a good time?”

He gave me that smoldering look, peering at me through the strands of his hair, the verbal no unneeded. Crow hadn’t had a childhood, not really. He hadn’t been raised with any other kids, and had never gone to school, and his father probably taught him those things were beneath him.

“We’re going outside to play in the snow. I don’t care if we’re too old for that kind of thing.”

He frowned.

“It’ll be fun.”

“Too cold.”

“We won’t stay out long, and we’ll stay close to the house. That way, if we need to, we can come right back inside.” I walked over and straddled his lap, facing him. “Please, Crow. I want to give you this.”

He sighed, and I knew I had him even before he let out a soft, “Don’t know how to say no to you.”

“Yes!” I jumped off him, gathered our dishes, and brought them to the sink. I washed them quickly, knowing Crow wouldn’t go anywhere without them taken care of, then grabbed his wrist and dragged him to our bedroom.

He made me wear long johns beneath my pants because Crow was a bit of a daddy, even if he didn’t know it. When we were back in the living room, he was tossing boots, beanies, gloves, scarves, and jackets at me.

It wasn’t snowing at the moment, but the ground was covered in white as far as the eye could see. I was lucky I didn’t fall and bust my head open when I practically bounded down the porch stairs. After finding a good spot, I dropped onto my back, opening and closing my legs and moving my arms to make a snow angel.

I’d landed in a deep spot, snow just falling on top of me as I wiggled to get out of it, before the rough sound of Crow’s laughter made me stop and look up at him from where I was half-covered in snow. His laughter was one of my favorite sounds. I loved it when I was able to make him let loose that way. Crow kept such a tight rein, struggling to let happiness in, that when it bubbled out of him, it filled me with the sun, made it shine out of me uncontrollably.

“Oh, that’s funny, is it?” I asked, struggling to get up.

“Come on, little lamb.” He walked over, took my hand, and tugged me to my feet.

Crow came out every day to clear a path to the shop and the greenhouse, making sure he could get where he needed to go. He led me to the barn, where he kept his truck during the winter. It also housed the truck he was rebuilding, and the snowplow, but he led me toward the back, and my eyes widened. “A snowmobile! Can we ride it?”

This grunt was different from his no earlier, so I grinned. I was learning to understand Crow even when he didn’t use words.

“You’re going to have to teach me. I wish it sat two people.”

“Older ones do. I’ll ride with you at first. I’ll stand in front, you sit on the seat.”

“Okay.”

Crow pulled it out and started the machine. He put the only helmet on me, and while I wanted to argue, I knew that if I did, we wouldn’t ride. “I’m not going to go too far or too fast. Make sure you hold on.”

I rolled my eyes because no shit. I didn’t plan on letting myself tumble off the back of his snowmobile.

“You’re cute when you’re annoyed.”

My gaze snapped to his. Crow had never said something like that to me before. I hadn’t thought it was something he would ever be able to say. “Pout more often. Got it.”

He shook his head and smirked, in a way he wouldn’t have done a month before, then signaled for me to sit on the machine and climbed in front of me, standing up.

“Ready?”

“Yep.”

Crow pressed a button, then turned the throttle, and we started to move. He wasn’t lying when he said he wouldn’t go fast, but still my heart cranked up a notch. Snow flew out behind us, the cold air whipping around us as Crow drove.

He made a bit of a sharp turn, my body moving with it, and a laugh fell out. He increased the speed, trees and the world flashing by us. I wanted one of these. Badly. Before next winter, I would have to find a way to—no. I nipped that thought in the bud. I couldn’t think that way. Couldn’t let myself believe Crow would keep me.

We rode around for a while, and I could tell Crow liked it, could feel the excitement radiating from him. He wanted more, wanted to go faster, and I couldn’t help wondering if this was what he did to give himself a little adrenaline rush during the winter; if he hadn’t done it at all yet because of me.

Crow knew the mountain like the back of his hand and drove us straight to a slightly open area where the trees were thinner. I tapped his leg and shouted, “I want to see you ride!” Because I knew he wanted to let loose. He stopped the machine, climbed off, and cocked his head at me. I tugged off the helmet. “I said I want to see you ride.” His eyes sparked with enthusiasm. “Clearly, you like that idea.”

I climbed off and handed him the helmet. The second he had it on, Crow was off. He stayed close, only going where I could see him, but flying in a way he hadn’t been when I rode with him. He would kick up snow when he made sharp turns, letting loose in a way he rarely allowed himself. He liked this, felt free out here, I could tell. When he went off a little hill and jumped through the air, I gasped. “Holy fuck,” I said when he skidded to a stop in front of me. “That was hot. Why was that so hot?”

Crow took off the helmet and handed it to me. I thought maybe we were going to go back home, a small stab of disappointment landing in my gut, but he said, “Get on.”

“Really?” I beamed, and Crow just nodded. I did as he said, and he attached a key thing to my jacket. “What’s that?”

“If you fall off, it will kill the engine so it doesn’t drive off.”

“You didn’t do that with yourself.”

“You didn’t notice.”

Oh. Oops.

“Brake on the left. Only push it gently. Accelerator on the right, only pull that gently too. Learning throttle control is important.” I nodded, nerves and excitement wrestling in my gut, and I wondered which would win. “This red button is the electricity. It has to be pressed before it starts, which it is now. And turned off afterward.”

I listened closely as Crow explained everything.

“Stay right in this area.”

Suddenly I wasn’t so sure I could do this. What if I wrecked it? What if I got hurt up here or messed up Crow’s machine? “Maybe I shouldn’t…”

Even with his beanie in the way I could tell his brow furrowed. “You can do it, little lamb.”

Hearing that helped rally up the courage inside me. I wanted to make Crow proud, wanted him to see that he was right about me and I could do it. “Okay.”

He stepped back, and I did as he’d said. The machine lurched forward, and I immediately let go of the throttle. Shit. That was silly of me. I tried it again, moving forward at an incredibly slow pace. Eventually, I got the hang of it, and as I went in circles around the space, the pride swelling inside me was the best thing I’d ever felt until I saw Crow looking at me with it too, and then that was the best thing I’d ever felt.

We stayed out there for some time, Crow watching me and cheering me on. After a while, I pulled up beside him and turned it off the way he’d taught me.

“Should go home and get warmed up,” he said, and I reluctantly agreed.

Crow drove again, and I had no idea how in the hell he knew where to go. I would get turned around out here, but it wasn’t long before I could see his home in the distance.

While he put the snowmobile away, I packed the perfect snowball and hid beside the shop.

Crow didn’t see me when he came out. “Cyrus?”

“Over here.” He turned toward my voice, and the second he did, I let the snowball fly. It smacked him right in the face.

He shook the white flecks off himself, and then his gaze caught mine, wild and feral the way it got sometimes. Fear skittered up my spine at first, and I thought I’d fucked up, but then, this was Crow and I trusted him. I would always trust him.

I collected more snow and started to pack it, but he ran after me. Laughing, I took off, tossing it over my shoulder at him. Crow kept coming after me, surprising me with a snowball of his own that hit my back.

Unexpectedly, he tripped and almost fell. I slunk into the trees, trying to hide from him, though I knew my footprints would give me away.

“Little lamb…” he said, his voice throaty.

A tingling sensation shot through me, landing in my groin. I backed away from him, hiding behind trees, a whooshing in my ears.

“Where are you, little lamb?”

Shivers ran the length of me now, but it had nothing to do with being cold. This was…unexpected and hot. My dick throbbed as he called for me, stalking me. Jesus, I wanted to feel hunted by him. I wanted to be Crow’s prey.

I moved through the brush to another tree and ducked behind it. My chest heaved even though I hadn’t exerted very much energy. It was all stimulation, eagerness for this little game I’d accidentally created.

I peeked around the tree, and Crow’s gaze immediately snagged on mine, wild and untamed, like he wanted this too, liked this too.

I turned to run, and Crow came after me. He didn’t catch me, and I had a feeling he could, that he was holding back, like he knew he had an animalistic side that teetered on not feeling human, and if he gave in to that, he would catch me too soon.

Sliding to a stop, I hid behind a thick tree, my breathing coming out even more heavily now. I heard Crow’s footsteps crunching in the snow.

“I’ll find you,” he said. “You can’t hide from me, little lamb. I can smell you…smell how much you want me…the muskiness of your desire, the scent of sugar that always clings to your skin. I’m going to find you, and I’m going to fuck you.”

My knees nearly gave out. That was maybe the hottest thing I’d ever heard. I bolted out from my hiding spot, but Crow was there. I tried to escape him but tripped and fell, his body landing on top of mine.

He growled, burying his face in my throat and sucking in a deep, long breath through his nose. He took in my scent, rubbed his beard against me like he was some kind of wolf. “I want to fuck you out here, just like this, like I’m an animal and you’re my prey.”

“Oh God.” I seriously almost busted a nut just hearing him say that. I arched toward him, rubbing our bodies together. The winter gear kept me from feeling him the way I needed. “Fuck me, Crow.”

He nipped at me, but the stupid clothes were getting in the way.

“Touch me,” I ordered, but Crow didn’t move from the way he held me down, thrusting against me while breathing me in.

Continuing our game, I pushed him off, and Crow let me. I shoved to my feet and ran but couldn’t get far, not that I wanted to. He blocked me in against a tree, his hair hanging in his face—he’d lost his beanie at some point—and slowly stalked closer.

“Crow…” I begged when he reached me, and pushed my fingers through his hair. Still no words. Somehow I knew I wouldn’t get any for a while. Crow had checked out, or at least part of him had, and he was giving in to the baser needs inside him.

I loved this Crow just as much as I did the other one.

“Please…take me. Remind me I’m yours. Show me how much you want me.”

Crow gave a deep snarl in response, picked me up and threw me over his shoulder, stalking toward the house.