Chapter 10

Chapter Ten

Jonas

My swing shift had been due to end at midnight, but as usual, the clock inched closer to one before I could head home. Probably for the best, I reminded myself as I finished up with my last patients. If the household was asleep when I made it home, so much the better. And, of course, by household, I really meant Declan, who'd been on my mind the whole shift.

"Thank you, Doctor." Mr. Egret, the nervous young father of Erin, a cranky preschooler with a sore ear, looked as ready to be home as I was, flyaway hair, flannel pajama bottoms, and all.

"I'm not a medical doctor," I said lightly, correcting the common misconception. "I have a doctorate of nursing practice along with a nurse practitioner's license. Here in the ER, I'm mainly a nursing supervisor, but I occasionally cover another NP's shift, like today."

I usually enjoyed these shifts immensely as I missed patient contact in my supervisor role and needed the relief from all the administrative tasks. Before I'd let myself be talked into the supervisory role, I'd been a full-time NP in the ER, and prior to that, an RN. I was quickly becoming one of the longest- tenured employees in the Mount Hope emergency department, but I wasn't surprised when Mr. Egret's face fell, his weary smile replaced by a deep frown.

"Oh. Can we see an MD before we leave?" he demanded sharply before changing his tone to smug superiority. "We just want to make sure it's only an ear inflammation and that we don't need antibiotics for an infection yet."

We'd been over this several times already. Erin's ear was mildly pink, showing minor signs of inflammation consistent with a common cold and no signs of bacterial infection at this point. Thus, in keeping with established current practice, no antibiotics were needed, but the Egrets had been reluctant to believe me.

"You understand, right?" Mrs. Egret was tall and thin but frail, with the air of a frazzled sparrow.

"Of course." I adopted my most patient tone as I clicked open the tablet I used for patient notes. "The current wait time for a consultation with an on-call doctor is going to be another two to three hours, more if any acute cases show up to triage." I managed to deliver this news in a bored yet sympathetic tone.

"Seriously?" Mr. Egret turned pink around the edges of his ears and narrow face.

"We're packed," I reminded him. "The winter weather means cold and flu cases are up, and the icy sidewalks and roads lead to more serious accidents that land people in the ER. Not to mention, it's New Year's Day, so we have plenty of dehydration cases and such from folks overdoing it on New Year's Eve."

I opened the cubicle door to show myself out. "I'll let the desk know you'd prefer to wait for an MD. And you might want to collect your things." I gestured at the bored, sleepy kiddo in the center of the exam bed, surrounded by discarded toys. "You'll likely be sent back to the main waiting area in the meantime."

"On second thought, maybe we can go home, see how she does the rest of the night, then try to get in with our regular pediatrician in the morning." Mrs. Egret spoke quickly, undoubtedly hoping to make her point before her spouse could object.

"Excellent plan." My smile was fake, but my relief that they would be taking poor Erin home to bed wasn't.

"Thank you, Nurse." Mrs. Egret called after me as I almost collided with my friend Judy, another NP, in the hall.

"Wow, that was an incredibly diplomatic handling of those parents, Nurse ." Despite the late hour, Judy was in a merry mood, with her long gray braid swishing across her broad shoulders as we walked toward the locker room.

"Hush, Judy," I scolded while chuckling. "How was your shift?"

"The usual cough-and-cold winter mix. Gotta love January. But I did get a set of triplets with Hand, Foot, and Mouth."

"Those poor parents." I shuddered as we entered the locker room, and I went straight to my locker, more than ready to head out. "Can't believe I'm saying this, but I might be getting too old for swing shifts."

"Me too." Judy grinned as she retrieved a thick wool coat. "I can't wait until the new urgent care place opens."

"You took the job?" My shoulders slumped. Another work friend down. Working in emergency medicine was hard on the body and soul, and turnover was a real issue for my role as supervisor and for work friendships.

"I was ready." Judy shrugged, but her face stayed kind with sympathetic eyes. "Better pay, better hours, better patient experience. I can't wait. And you really need to listen to the offer from the family practice group again."

A local family practice had tried to recruit me to a full-time NP job a couple of times, and while I was tempted to get back to regular patient care and establish long-term patient relationships, I always ended up deciding to stay.

"I'm needed here." I gave my stock answer.

"And you do love to be needed." Judy sighed and patted me on the shoulder on her way out. After she was gone, I made quick work of exchanging my scrubs for street clothes of jeans and a long-sleeve thermal shirt.

I thought about Judy's words my whole drive home. Was it so bad to want to be needed? It gave my life meaning and purpose. Sure, sometimes I put my own desires last, but I managed.

As I entered the house, I resolved to put my need for sleep above my urge to check on Declan, but then I noticed his door was open with a low light on. Oz lay sprawled on the foot of the bed while Declan reclined against the pillows, damp towel over his face, covers half off.

Uh-oh. So much for sleep.

"You okay?" I asked from the doorway as if it wasn't already clear he wasn't.

"Not really." Declan released a groan. He had a bare chest again, but mercifully, he appeared to have on gray sweatpants. "Sick headache that won't quit. Oz seems to think he's my nurse."

"He's good at that." I strode over to the bed. "Tell me about the headache."

"You're coming off a long shift." Declan pulled the towel off his face and struggled to sit up. "You don't need my complaints."

I helped him sit up, arranging the pillows behind him.

"I'm still in nurse practitioner mode." I tried to sound a little less worn out than I felt. "And you're a heck of a lot less trouble than the parade of second-guessing parents I dealt with tonight. God save me from patients who love amateur medical research."

"Helicopter parents are the worst." Declan made a sour face. "I thought about calling my dad after I puked the second time, but I didn't want the lecture."

"You threw up?" I bent to examine him more closely. His skin was pastier than usual, a more sickly shade of pale.

"From the headache pain, yeah." He gave a weak wave of a hand. "And it's the usual headache stuff, just a bad one. Light sensitivity, upset stomach, throbbing pain. I'm exhausted, yet I can't seem to sleep. The meds aren't helping, and yes, I took them for once."

"Hmm." I made a thoughtful noise. If Declan had taken medication, he had to be really hurting. I pulled out my pen light and slowly moved it in front of his face.

"Ow." He tried to bat my hand away. "What are you doing?"

"Checking your pupils," I said patiently. "Trying to evaluate if this is concerning enough to take you in to rule out another hemorrhage."

"It's not." Declan sounded like an authority, but I wasn't so sure. "It's a migraine. I know them by now."

"I trust you to know your own body?—"

"Thank you." He cut me off with a tight smile.

"But I think you should call your neurologist in the morning."

"Maybe." He sounded like he was only humoring me, which was hardly reassuring. Crossing the room, I dragged the chair closer to the bed.

"What are you doing?" Declan's frown deepened. "You look dead on your feet. I'm not going to ask you to read after a twelve-hour shift."

I stifled a yawn. "I'm not going to deny being tired, but I don't like the idea of leaving you alone in case this worsens. I can stay, or I can set alarms to come back and check?—"

"I'm not a cake." He threw up his hands before patting the bed next to him. "If you're intent on keeping an eye on me, at least sit where it's comfortable with your feet up."

The offer to sit next to him was too tempting on multiple levels. The bed was cushy with a padded headboard and putting up my tired feet sounded heavenly. Before I could overthink the choice, I slipped off my shoes and sat beside him, trying to keep a reasonable distance between our bodies.

"Do you want me to read?" I asked, pulling out my phone. I needed the distraction from his nearness. He might be hurting, but that only made me want to touch him more. "I don't want to accidentally fall asleep here."

"I wouldn't mind." A slow blush spread up his pale cheeks. "Anyway, yeah, read a little if you've got energy."

"For the vicar?" I smiled over at him, hoping like heck I could stay awake longer than him. "Always."