33. Harper

33

HARPER

I woke up with a stiff neck and the urge to kill someone. I'd slept like shit last night, and I really didn't want to admit it was because Edu had been out of town on a job. After the last fiasco where he got himself stabbed, I really didn't want to think about what kind of trouble he could get himself into in the future.

For the past two months, he'd managed to stay free of all cuts and bruises, aside from the one I gave him when he came to me with his tough guy attitude and told me this was his life and I had to fucking deal with it.

I responded by slamming my fist into his face, which he then had to ice because apparently, I don't know how to fight. Go figure.

I hated being back in my house, which was absolutely ridiculous because it was a beautiful house. My brother had even let me have the final say in which house we bought since, as he said, he was a man and his opinion didn't really matter. All he needed was a place to lay his head at night.

Of course, I obliged him. I would hate for him to stay someplace neither of us liked. So, I chose this cute little house on the edge of town. It was close to OPS, so he didn't have to drive far to work, and it was close to Edu, but I didn't tell him that was one of the reasons I chose it.

"What's your problem this morning?" Oliver asked, sitting at the counter eating a bowl of Cheerios. When Oreo jumped up and tried to stick his head in the bowl, Oliver shoved him off the counter.

I scowled at him, grabbing my own bowl, wincing when my neck pinched.

"What the fuck?" he shouted, shoving back his chair in his haste to get to me. "Are you hurt?"

"I'm fine. Just a little stiff."

"Stiff?" he scoffed. "No, stiff is when it's a little hard to move. You were in pain."

"I was not."

"I saw your face," he snapped. Then he backed up a step. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell at you. I just—Fuck, I can't handle seeing you hurt again."

"I'm not hurt. I just slept funny."

"Are you sure?"

I wasn't really. My whole neck was tense and every once in a while, it felt like tiny zaps shot down my back. My hesitation caused him to grab his keys and then my arm.

"Come on. We're going to the hospital."

"What? No, I have to work!"

He continued dragging me out the door, not even bothering to let me put on my shoes. "Listen, I understand that you don't want to call off, but this is important. It's better we get this checked out."

The slight drizzle outside left the stairs wet and slick. He was careful as he pulled me down them, only realizing once we got to the car that I was barefoot.

"Where are your shoes?"

"In the house. You didn't let me put them on," I said, cocking my head at him.

Then his eyes widened and he rubbed the back of his neck. "You're um…" He gestured to my chest, which was still covered in my pajama top, sans bra .

"Yes, my tits are hard. It's cold outside and you dragged me out here without letting me get dressed first."

"We should—" He swung his hand toward the house, clearing his throat.

"Oh, may I?" I asked sarcastically.

"Yeah, well, don't take too long."

"I'll try to be quick."

I shot him an irritated look, but hurried through getting dressed. I didn't particularly want to go to the hospital, but I also knew he wouldn't allow me to go to work until I was thoroughly checked over. The accident had really freaked him out, especially since a car accident was what took our parents' lives.

"Have you called Edu?" he asked as he pulled into the hospital twenty minutes later.

"No, why would I call him?"

He made some kind of irritated noise in his throat, then shot me a dirty look. "You don't think he has a right to know about this?"

"About what? I woke up with a stiff neck. That's not exactly evidence anything is wrong. What if he's doing something really important and I distract him with this? What if he got shot because I had to call him and tell him I had a sore neck?"

He rolled his eyes at me. "Fine, maybe wait until we leave the hospital."

"Or," I said in an exaggerated voice. "I could wait until I know if there's actually something wrong."

He pulled right up the ER doors, then hurried around to my side.

"What are you doing?" I hissed. "This is completely unnecessary!"

"It's only unnecessary if I say it's unnecessary."

"That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard," I snapped as he grabbed me by the arm, carefully leading me inside.

"We need help over here!" he shouted.

"Oliver!"

But the nurses were already rushing around the desk to check on me. Thankfully, there wasn't a line to the ER this morning. That would have been extremely embarrassing.

"What's wrong? "

"She was in an accident a few months ago and hurt her neck. This morning, she was really stiff."

The nurse was kind enough not to yell at him for saying that was an emergency. "Alright, sir. Why don't you take a seat and we'll get her back right away."

He nodded, shoving his fingers through his hair as he watched me go through the double doors.

"Your boyfriend is quite concerned about you."

"He's my brother," I sighed. "I told him I was fine. It's just a sore neck. But he didn't exactly take it very well after my accident. Plus, our parents died in a car accident."

"Say no more, sweetie. We'll get you checked out and find out what the issue is."

"I'm sure it's nothing. Everyone has a bad night's sleep from time to time."

She barked out a laugh, agreeing with me. "Sweetie, I can't tell you the number of times I've woken up in the morning with a stiff neck. But it's sweet that he cares about you that much."

"And a little annoying."

"Well, better that he cared enough to rush you here than if he had ignored you all together."

With the ER pretty much empty this morning, checking my vitals and getting a doctor in to see me was a breeze. No one seemed too concerned, but they ordered X-rays for me anyway, just to appease my brother.

"Alright," the technician said as she led me to the room. "Is there any chance you're pregnant?"

I huffed in amusement. While I would love to have a baby someday, I wasn't interested in that right now. "No, no possible way."

"It's just something we have to ask. It could harm the fetus if…"

While she continued talking, my mind drifted to the last month and then the last two months. When was the last time I had my period? Oh God, I hadn't even realized I'd skipped a month. How was that possible?

"Ma'am? "

I jerked my gaze to meet hers and swallowed hard. "I think I might need a test."

Her eyes widened and she nodded succinctly. "I'll let the doctor know. Why don't you take a seat?"

As if my legs were made of rubber, I collapsed in the seat and stared at the floor. I couldn't be pregnant. It wasn't possible. I was on birth control. I took it regularly. I mean, when I was in the accident, of course, I hadn't been taking it, but that was months ago. It couldn't be the reason…Maybe it was just my body throwing things off or some side effect from all the other medicine.

I barely noticed a thing as I was led back to my room. I went through the process of having my blood drawn and then sat back, staring at the blank wall. This wasn't happening. I didn't even have a good job. I had just started classes for counseling. I couldn't be pregnant.

Yet, the second the doctor walked through the door with the results, I knew I was screwed. I dragged in a shaky breath and waited as she gave me the news. I was pregnant. I was going to have a baby. She tried to make me feel like everything was going to be okay, but deep down inside, I knew that was a lie. Nothing would be okay ever again.

And the moment I walked out of the ER and saw my brother, I broke down in his arms, scaring the shit out of him.

His fists clenched around the steering wheel as he drove me toward work. Even after all these months, I still hadn't gotten behind the wheel to drive. I didn't even like being in the car if I didn't have to, but I'd sucked it up enough to do what was necessary.

"Are you going to tell me what happened?" he finally asked. He glanced over at me, his eyes wide with worry.

"I'm pregnant," I blurted out.

He jerked the wheel, taking us to the side of the road. Then he stared at me. I felt his heated gaze bearing down on me, but I was still in too much shock to look at him .

"You're what?"

I nodded. "Yeah, that's how I feel."

"But…but you can't be."

"I believe when you have sex, you always run the risk," I said, my voice hollow and disbelieving.

"Harper…"

Yeah, that shocked sound leaving his lips was pretty much how I felt. I couldn't even say or do anything else. I just stared out the window.

"You have to tell Edu right away."

Edu. Yeah, that was another problem. I chuckled, then started really laughing as I realized how screwed I was. "Edu doesn't want kids. In fact, he very plainly told me in the beginning that I should wipe any ideas of kids or marriage from my mind."

"But that was when you first started dating. You can't really think he still feels that way."

But I did. In fact, I was pretty damn sure that when I told him, it wouldn't be pretty.

"Harper…you have to tell him."

"I will," I said, shaking myself out of the trance I seemed to be in. "I'll tell him when he gets back."

"When's that?"

"I don't know, but telling him when he's on a job isn't going to be helpful. Besides, I need time to think."

"About what? What's there to think about?"

I looked at him, shrugging slightly. "What I'm going to do when he tells me he doesn't want it."

The look of shock on my brother's face was what I was feeling right now.

"We should go. I have to get to work. I'm already super late. They'll fire me if I don't show up soon."

"Fuck them, Harper. You just found out?—"

"That I'm like every other woman who finds out she's pregnant when she's not married," I finished. "Yeah, I'm screwed."

"You're not screwed," he said, gripping my hand. "It'll be alright. Edu's a good guy. Maybe I didn't feel that way in the beginning, but then there was the accident and— He took care of you. He was there for you during it all. He wouldn't walk away from you now. He loves you."

Maybe he did, but he hadn't said a word to me about it, and I had the feeling that was because he still couldn't admit to himself that I meant something to him. That didn't bode well for the bean sprout growing inside me.

"Take me to work."

Oliver didn't want to, but he knew there was nothing else for me to do right now. When he dropped me off, I turned back to him. "Not a word to anyone. I need time to figure this out."

"Of course," he nodded, but I knew he was fuming inside.

I shut the door mechanically and walked inside at a leisurely pace. It didn't matter if I hurried when I was already late. Besides, my old boss had moved on to bigger and better things. His ire for me no longer threatened my job.

I stopped in the office and told my manager about my neck pain this morning, then told her I was okay. She was very understanding and even asked if I wanted to go home, but what would be the point? The last thing I wanted was to stare at the wall all day.

"Girl, where have you been?" Luna hissed as I walked into the break room.

"Are you on lunch?"

"Yes. I only have ten minutes left. Where were you?"

"At the hospital. My neck was sore, so Oliver made me go in. And then they were going to run X-rays, but surprise! I'm pregnant," I laughed.

Her jaw dropped open in shock. "You're—I'm sorry, what?"

I continued laughing, unable to hold it in. "I know. It's hilarious, isn't it?"

"That's not exactly what I would say," she mumbled.

I looked at her and grinned. "My boyfriend is extremely against marriage and kids. He doesn't ever want either. I mean, it's surprising I can even call him my boyfriend," I gasped with laughter. "And now I'm pregnant with his child! "

She gripped me by the arms, shaking me lightly. "Harper, you have to pull it together!"

"I know," I continued to laugh, then I gasped, covering my mouth with my hand. "Oh God. I'm like one of those tragic books I read."

"What?"

"In my romance novels, there's always some miserable woman who gets pregnant in the third act."

"Aren't acts in plays?"

I started laughing again. "I'm the woman who gets pregnant, don't you see? I'm so fucking predictable, just like in those books! She gets pregnant, fears telling her boyfriend because he's some tragic man who can't get his shit together. Hello, that has me written all over it. Only, women who read these novels think the scarred man who can't fall in love is sexy and needs an understanding woman to heal him." I snorted in amusement. "There's no healing them!" I laughed. "Edu is perfectly tragic in every way! He's just like the men in my books. Only those men come around and confess they need the heroine. They can't possibly live without the woman they've unknowingly fallen for."

I huffed out another laugh, unable to contain the growing unease inside me.

"Except, Edu—while fitting the mold perfectly—will never come around and decide he wants the baby and marriage with me. He's the antithesis of a bad boy who falls for the dimwitted heroine." I looked at her sardonically. "That would be me."

"You're not dimwitted."

"Oh, please. You should have seen me in the hospital. Could you be pregnant? No, I said. There's no way I could be pregnant. And then I stood there wondering when my last period was. Luna, I am the stupid woman in the books who doesn't even realize she didn't have her period for two months!"

She winced, trying to hold back the unbelievable look on her face.

"See! Even you can't believe how stupid I've been!"

She grabbed my flailing arms and held them at my side. "Okay, apart from the…indescribably stupid way that you happened to forget you were a woman and had a period, it doesn't change the fact that yo u're pregnant. Whether or not you forgot is pointless because you still would have been with child."

"With child," I laughed.

"Hey, it's a thing!"

"It is. I am with child. Pregnant. The moron who?—"

"Stop it," she scolded, her face serious as she held me tight. "What's done is done. And whether or not Edu will face the fact that he had as much part in this as you, you still have to tell him. And the sooner, the better. The last thing I need is to work with you for months on end as you try to figure out how to tell him you're pregnant while your body grows to the size of a whale."

"Do you really think I'll get that big?" I asked, tears filling my eyes.

It hit me then how ridiculous it was that I was in tears over the prospect of becoming so large I would be compared to the mammal when I should really be concerned with the fact that I was pregnant. But somehow, actually being pregnant didn't freak me out nearly as much as telling Edu.

I could handle having a baby. I knew it would be hard on my own. But the thought of telling him and facing his wrath was something I couldn't quite wrap my brain around. He was going to be furious and then I would never see him again.

He never wanted this life, and as soon as I told him I was pregnant, he would be gone from mine.