18. Harper

18

HARPER

A huge grin split my face as I walked down the stairs to the basement to retrieve my phone. Once at the bottom, I recalled what had happened just a half hour ago in this very spot. I could still feel his thick cock thrusting into my mouth as I sucked him dry.

"Harper!"

Startled, I spun around, clutching the phone to my chest as I peeked up at Edu in mortification. I could feel my cheeks flush red as he eyed me as if he could read my mind. My eyes drifted south to his growing cock inside his shorts. I had to fan myself to keep from orgasming on the spot.

"Harper," he growled.

There was no point in denying what I was thinking. I hurried up the steps, pushing against him to pass once at the top. "Did you need something?"

"You were going to leave me to get your own Chinese food?"

"You can come with if you want," I said, hurrying around to find my purse, purposely not looking at him.

"Why are you ignoring me?"

"I'm not. I'm just getting ready to go. I think I'll use the bathroom first. "

I hurried off to the guest bathroom I'd seen when I walked in. It didn't allow for much privacy, but it would do while I pulled myself together. Once the door was shut, I raised my hands and did a happy dance, squealing internally that I had just landed one of the hottest men on this earth. No, it wasn't permanent, but it was more than I could have ever wanted. And who knew? Maybe in time he would come around. He already told me this would be more than one night. I just had to play this cool.

I pulled my face into a somewhat normal facade, which ended up making me look sad. Okay, I needed to try for casual. I went for a half smile, but ended up looking like a deranged monkey.

"You can do this," I whispered to myself. "Just be cool."

Taking a deep breath, I spun around and pulled the door open, running right into a brick wall of a man. Slowly raising my gaze, I stared into his admonishing eyes.

"You know I could hear you in there, right?"

Normal smile. Give him a normal smile. I pulled my lips back in what I knew was a crazed smile, but I couldn't stop it. It just kept going, getting wider and wider until he looked truly terrified of me.

"What's wrong with your face?" he asked. Then he put his hands on my cheeks and forced them to relax. He grimaced at the sight of my smooshed lips. "Well, it's better than it was. Are you done jumping around in there?"

My jaw dropped in disbelief. "I was not jumping around."

Rolling his eyes, he walked away from me toward the door. "Harper, I could hear your feet pounding on the floor. You're not exactly subtle."

He grabbed his keys and headed out the door. I followed, not sure what else to do. He was ever the gentleman, holding the door for me, then locking it and grabbing my hand as we walked to his truck.

While I was gasping in delight at the fact that he was holding my hand, he was acting like it was no big deal. Major mixed signals were being sent. He didn't want a relationship, but he was holding my hand. And the way he so casually grabbed it, that had to mean something, right?

He opened my door and hauled me into it again. I could have used the step, but I wasn't about to complain if he wanted to put his hands on me.

"So," he said as he started up the truck.

I waited eagerly for him to finish his thought. Anything this man said was absolutely thrilling to me. Maybe it shouldn't be. Maybe that showed a lack of…something, but I found I really didn't care. I was a little obsessed, and that wasn't about to change in the next five minutes.

He glanced at me, his face contorting in an odd expression. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Like what?"

"Like you're hanging on my every word."

Probably because I was. "You were saying something. I'm just waiting for you to finish your thought."

His brows crinkled, making the most adorable lines between his eyes. He really was the most handsome man I'd ever met.

"I said so ."

"Which implies you were going to say something else. So…isn't it a lovely night? So…where should we go for dinner?"

"Is everything I say always going to be under the microscope?"

"That depends on how long you keep me around," I teased.

"You already know my stance on that."

"Yes, you'll keep me around until you've had your fill of me. Very alpha male of you. But there will be no relationship and no marriage proposals. I've heard it enough to be sure I'm never mistaken," I teased.

He cleared his throat uncomfortably. I wasn't sure why. I was perfectly content sitting with him. "I just want to make sure we're on the same page."

"Of course we are."

"Are you sure about that?" he asked, glancing over at me. "You seem…"

"What?"

"Like you're not all there."

"Oh, I assure you, I'm very much present in the moment."

He glanced at me, shaking his head. "See, that's the shit I'm talking about. You're looking at me with these eyes that—and the way you're taking this when just a few days ago, you couldn't stop daydreaming about me."

"Do you want me to stop that? Would that make you feel better?"

"Can you actually control it?" he asked skeptically.

"Well, I'm not sure, but I can try."

"This is so fucked up," he muttered. "I can't believe I'm sitting in this truck with you, about to go eat Chinese food."

I frowned at that. "Well, I did say you should get it on your own. I was perfectly willing to go by myself."

"And how would you have gotten there?"

"Well…I could call a cab."

"And spend more of your minuscule paycheck on a fucking cab?" he snapped.

"Why does it bother you what my paycheck is?"

"Why does it not bother you?"

"Oh, it does. But I'm curious why it bothers you."

If I had hoped this night would be enjoyable, I was clearly mistaken. Everything I said angered him. I tried to keep an upbeat, positive attitude, but nothing made him happy. I got the feeling he wasn't used to talking to females like this.

"Because you're…late twenties?" I nodded. "And you still don't have your life together. You go to school and drop out. You have no ambition. What the hell do you want out of life?" he practically shouted. "You spend all your fucking time daydreaming instead of actually doing something!"

Well, I had never heard my life summed up in such a harsh way, and frankly, I didn't like it. "Edu, this may come as a bit of a shock to you considering who the words are coming from, but it's none of your fucking business what I do with my life. As you put it, this is nothing more than sex. And when you're through with me, that's it. So, you don't get to have an opinion on how I live my life or if I have any ambitions. Maybe my life isn't what you deem fulfilling, but I could say the same for you. You willingly put your life on the line for others, yet you refuse to do the same for yourself. You're going to walk through life without a care in the world. You won't care about anyone and no one other than your friends will care about you. And when you're old and shitting yourself, no one will be there to wipe your ass except the nurse who's paid to do it."

I could have said more, but I seemed to run out of steam. I realized that for the first time in my life, I had said what I wanted when I wanted without worrying about the reaction I would get. I wasn't sure why I felt so free and open with Edu, but if having him in my life helped me to gain the confidence I needed to stand up for myself, I would take it.

We were quiet the rest of the drive, and when we arrived at the restaurant, things were strained. Neither of us spoke other than to order our food. I sat in silence, devouring my food and putting away more than any man. I tended to overeat when I was stressed or angry. And right now, I was pissed as hell.

I paid my half of the check without any complaint, and when we left the restaurant, he didn't try to help me up into the truck. The night was officially over. So, when we walked into the house, I didn't ask about sleeping arrangements. I took the couch and pulled the blanket off the back, turning away from him immediately. I felt him watching me for a moment before stomping back to his room and slamming the door.

I flipped onto my back and stared up at the ceiling. Tears pricked my eyes, but I refused to let them fall. I may be half in love with the stupid man, but I would never allow myself to cry over him.

Silence filled the house as the early morning light filtered into the room. I tiptoed from the couch to the bathroom and quickly did my business. As quietly as possible, I folded the blanket and grabbed my shoes. I was out the door before the sun was fully up in the sky.

Brushing my hair from my face, I walked through the grass, bypassing the other houses as my shoes dangled from my fingers. I could have put them on, but I always enjoyed the feel of the cool grass on my feet. Several men were already up, sitting on their porches and drinking what I assumed was coffee. They waved, giving me strange looks as I passed. I wondered how far I would be able to make it before Edu received a phone call. I had no doubt he would since these men all seemed to be in each other's business.

As it turned out, I made it as far as the burnt building before I heard the dust kick up behind me and tires skid to a stop. Sighing, I glanced over at Edu, who was sitting in the truck, glaring at me like I was the problem.

"Harper, get in the damn truck."

I spun on him, thrusting my hand to my hip. "Are all your friends this nosy?"

"Worse," he snapped. "Now, get in the truck."

I wasn't about to start an argument with him in the middle of the property, so I stomped over to his truck and climbed inside, slamming the door behind me.

"What the fuck were you thinking?"

I slowly turned my gaze on him. "Is this your way of apologizing for your attitude yesterday?"

"Apologize for what?" he argued. "I did nothing wrong."

I snorted in amusement and stayed silent as he pulled out of the drive and headed into town.

"I don't know what the fuck you think I should apologize for. I was just making my position clear."

Again, I snorted and didn't say a word. His frustration mounted on the other side of the truck. It was clear he didn't know what to do in this situation, having never been in a relationship before. Not that we were in one. But the way he talked to me was beyond anything a respectable human being would say to another. My fantasies about him went down at least ten percent with every word he said.

"Alright, I may have overstepped yesterday, but seriously, what are you doing with your life?"

Eyes wide and jaw hanging open, I stared at him in astonishment. If this was his version of an apology, he was failing miserably. "I'm sorry, what?"

"Let's say that we're friends. You would want another friend to step in if there was a problem, right?"

"Friends," I said, testing the word. "You…think we're friends? "

"We did sleep together," he pointed out.

"Yes, but you also made it clear that it was nothing more than sex."

"I—"

"And now you're trying to use that sex as some kind of way to have the freedom to say whatever you want about me by claiming the friendship card."

"No, you're misunderstanding my meaning."

Crossing my arms over my chest, I cocked my head at him. "Then, please, clear things up for me. I would love to know how I'm misunderstanding the way you insulted me last night and are continuing to do so today."

His jaw clenched hard as he stared out the window. As many times as he opened his mouth, he closed it again, proving he had no way to justify the things he had said to me. By the time we pulled up to my house, it was well beyond the point of return for his argument.

"Thanks for the ride," I said, hopping down from the truck. I slammed the door and trudged into the house. I still had to get ready for my workday. What should have been a magnificent night, filled with all my dreams and desires unfolding in this beautiful, magical way, was instead tarnished by his harsh words. "Rough night?" Oliver asked, sipping his coffee in the kitchen.

I didn't want to talk about it, so I ignored his comment. "Where are Grams and Grandpa?"

"Still sleeping. They took Mom and Dad's old room."

I nodded. "Did you get the job with Duke?"

He grinned at me. "I start in two weeks."

"That's great," I smiled, feeling really happy for him, but it brought about feelings of sadness after the words Edu spoke to me.

"Hey, what's going on?"

I looked up into my concerned brother's eyes and sighed. "I got in a fight with Edu last night."

"About what?"

"My life choices. Let's just say he called me out for not finishing anything and basically wasting my life."

My brother instantly tensed, his fist tightening around his mug. "He did what? "

"Don't even bother getting upset."

"Too fucking late. What right does he have to say shit like that to you?"

The weight of the ring on my finger almost had me stating he had every right, but then I remembered it was all fake. I wasn't actually engaged to him, and I never would be.

"He doesn't," I admitted. "But maybe he has a point."

"Harper, you'll get there. When you know what you want to do, you'll do it. Not everyone has to have their lives figured out at the age of twenty-one."

"But I'm not twenty-one. I'm almost thirty. I've gone to school twice and didn't finish both times."

"Because you knew it wasn't what you wanted. There's nothing wrong with that."

"And in the meantime, I wasted the money Mom and Dad left both of us. There's nothing left and?—"

"Stop," he boomed, his anger rising by the second. "That was my decision as much as yours. I could have chosen to not give you the money, but it's what Mom and Dad would have wanted."

"For me to waste their money?" I asked sarcastically.

"For you to find out what you wanted to do. I didn't need the money. I'm already doing what I want. And what else would I do with it?"

"Build a house. Save the money. Plan for the future," I listed.

He rolled his eyes at me. My brother was the thrifty one of the two of us, meaning that if I bought name-brand diced tomatoes, he held out for the off-brand. Neither of us spent a lot of money, other than when I went to school. And now it was all for nothing. The money was gone and I was stuck in a dead-end job, wishing I could figure out what to do with my life.

"Listen. Don't ever let some prick make you feel like you're not good enough. You may not have a dream job, but you're an amazing person. You're caring and so damn smart, and one of these days, you'll find a man that will see that and love you for who you are. And when you do figure out the next thing you want to go to school for, I'll make sure you have the money. "

"Even if I drop out?" I smiled.

"You will be the most educated woman that never got a degree. And I will still love you for it."

I let him wrap me in a hug and closed my eyes. Despite our differences, I really couldn't ask for a better brother. But I'd make sure the next time I went to school, I wouldn't be using any of his money. This was on me, and it was time I separated myself from him and stopped relying on his support. Even if it did make him happy to know he was taking care of his little sister.

"I have to get to work."

He kissed me on the top of the head and shoved me toward my room. I stuck my tongue out at him and vowed to have the best damn day. Even if I was thoroughly depressed about Edu.