23. REMI

23

REMI

Watching Asani work is mesmerizing, mostly because I'm not sure what else to do after that powerful meeting in the heart. Darius is curled up in Nepheline's nest and Maverick is checking up on some information from his previous team regarding any new sightings of superwolves.

Asani is bent over a desk, squirting small amounts of my blood onto several different slides. I nearly punched him when he stuck me with a needle but my Alpha quickly explained what it was for. To test for an antidote, we have to work with an Alpha'sblood. Why he didn't stick himself, I have no fucking clue.

"Find anything?"

Asani chuckles, looking up at me. "It's a color-changing test which takes a minute to set up. Come here." I hesitate before he raises an eyebrow, wondering if I'll actually deny him. I don't, snuggling into his chest when he throws out his arms. For several moments, I just stand there, enveloped in a little cocoon of protectiveness. Asani presses his lips to my head before pulling back to catch my gaze. "Now, tell me what's going on in that head of yours."

"Babies." Well, fuck.

My anxiety is getting the better of me, too many thoughts running around in my head. Unlike the rest of Nepheline's mates, I'm a much softer Alpha. I pride myself on being able to nurture and provide for my family. Pierson's jabs used to hurt a lot more—his constant comments that I wasn't Alpha enough ripping me apart. Now? I lean into those instincts because I love them. Building Nepheline's nest is both an honor and something I look forward to.

"You can't get pregnant, Biscuit."

It's been a while since Asanicalled me that. I thought the pet name was lost to the wind as our dynamics changed and I realize how much I miss these private moments with Asani. "That's not what I meant. I meant Nepheline. She'll be gorgeous." Images of our Omegastill as fierce as ever but with a rounded belly, carrying our babies makes me smile.

Asani hums his agreement as he releases me before going back to the test he's currently conducting. "She'll want Darius or Mateo's first. Does that bother you?"

My brows furrow as a frown replaces my smile. An Omega tends to have their first Alpha's baby first but in this case, I'm sure the child will be Darius'. "Does it bother me that Nepheline will be happy? No. All I want is to be by her side. I want to provide for her and you and the rest of them." The way they smile when I prepare breakfast or when I wrap my arms around them after entering a room is what I want. I want snuggles and kisses and a whole of bonding and fucking after this mess gets sorted.

The room falls silent and I stare at Asani, wondering what's gone wrong. He slips into a chair, pulling out another syringe with a pale yellow tint before squirting it onto the slides with my blood. "You enjoy providing for us, don't you?"

I hold my breath, waiting for Asani to tell me I'm not Alpha enough or that it's Nepheline's job. It doesn't feel like her job and it's one of the few things I enjoy. I love being Mateo's guard and I enjoy running through the pack lands to keep this place safe. However, if I was given the job to stay here and ensure that our house was always welcoming, I wouldn't say no.

Asani leans back in his chair, watching my expression for several moments. I try to steel my emotions, weathering a small smile in his direction before pointing to the color-changing slides. They're the same dark color that Asani tested a week ago.

"Now what?" I ask.

"Now I test it with something that is supposed to neutralize the serum." He unearths a few more syringes and a small beaker, mixing items that I couldn't name if I wanted to before placing a small drop on each slide. Then Asani stands and walks back around the table to stare at me. I swear he can see right through me. "Tell me if I'm overstepping or I'm way off but I think you think whatever you're keeping from us is going to make us treat you as if you're lesser. Whatever is going on in your head right now, stop. I guarantee that our love isn't going anywhere, Remi. Whenever you've read-"

"I don't always feel like an Alpha," I blurt out and then groan. I never meant to tell anyone. No one was ever supposed to know. The reason my father's words hurt so fucking bad was because they were true. While he meant them to show me what I wasn't, I just always knew that I wasn't the same Alpha as Mateo and Asani. I can't even explain what I mean. "I'm much more comfortable when I'm not taking charge, when I'm helping or providing. I don't know what that means, Asani but fuck… I'm all confused."

Asani wraps his arms around me again before tucking my head into his chest. "I've noticed things changing with you, with all of us. You seek out our attention more than you used to. You want our approval and our acceptance and I adore that about you. Watching you smile when one of us gives you what you need is everything. Biscuit, I think we've all seen you for who you are becoming and I guarantee that we'll love you regardless."

I cling to him, not expecting this revelation to have been taken so easily. "That's it?"

"That's it. I love the softness. I named you ‘biscuit', remember?" Asani pulls away but not before he envelopes me in a gentle kiss that I so desperately need to remember I'm loved exactly as I am. I have no idea who that is but I want to explore it. Knowing that my mates won't shame me for whoever I decide to be makes it easier.

I stay pressed against his side as he turns to the plates, Asani's entire body going rigid. From what I can see, the last solution turned the blood and serum clear. "What does that mean? Does it work?"

"Yeah, but it'll kill the wolf."

A chuckle falls from my lips as I finally relax, now that Asani knows how I feel. "I don't think anyone will mind if a feral wolf dies, Asani. Come on. Let's go tell Maverick the good news and check on Darius."