Chapter 9

9

Tavi

I t was no surprise that Alluresh was watching my every move.

At first I was embarrassed to have him there as I swam in my underwear. I forced myself through it. He owned me. That meant my body. That meant he could look at me any time he wished, clothed or unclothed.

I'd thought about that often in the past week. He hadn't made any moves, and he had been polite. Plus, he had decked out an entire game room for me.

It was clear he didn't want me to be a bored brood slave.

Now he had just told me his dragon liked me. In my gut, I knew it was more complicated than that. For one thing, he admitted his dragon thought he was weak.

He'd spoken about his fearsome dragon off and on. But what was strange was that Alluresh himself wasn't scary at all. Not to me. It was all too weird. Something inside me gravitated toward him as if he could give me something I'd been missing.

Of course, that couldn't be true. It had to be my mind tricking me with a fantasy so I wouldn't outright die from the shock and horror of what was happening to me.

He owned me. What would he have to give me? I was here because he wanted to take, not give.

But the dragon was another story. Out of control. I hadn't seen that aspect yet, other than Alluresh talking to the beast, often without realizing he was speaking out loud.

For about fifteen minutes, we both sat in silence, me in the sun, Alluresh in the shadows. When Alluresh finally got up, I got up and followed him into the house.

At dinner, he said, "Are you working on a list of rules?"

For a moment, I didn't know what he was talking about. Then I remembered he had asked me for a list that first day. It had to do with my heat and breeding. I had forced my mind to forget.

"I don't know what to put on it."

He raised an eyebrow. "Certainly, you can think of a few things. Things you might prefer. And things you might not."

I shook my head. I couldn't think that far ahead. My mind refused the images.

"We have not discussed anything at all about this. Don't you think we should?" he asked.

I squirmed in my chair and picked up my ice water to distract me.

He added, "I don't even know when to expect your next heat."

I gulped. A piece of ice lodged in my throat and I swallowed. "Maybe if you asked me questions, it would be easier."

His eyes drooped a bit. His mouth turned down. He looked as uneasy as I felt.

"Easier for me," I added. With my fork, I pushed my food around on my plate.

His gaze grew dreamy. I knew that look meant he was listening to his beast. I wished I could hear what was being said. It struck me as rude, like instead of two at dinner, there were three, and the third was whispering secrets.

Alluresh glanced away. "Well, when can we expect your next heat?"

"I've had two so far. A year apart. Last year's was at the end of summer."

"Is that how wolves are? Only breeding once a year?"

"For their first couple of heats. But as omegas get older, their heats speed up. Sometimes to twice or three times a year. Is it that way for dragon omegas?"

"The literature on dragon omegas is all over the board. There are so few of them. Each is different. Some are dysfunctional. A few are infertile. But some have heats several times a year. About five percent of our population is omega. Which is why we import omegas."

"Like me."

He breathed in and out, his nostrils flaring. "Yes."

"Are there set-omegas in your world?" I asked.

"Yes."

"I guess they are considered trash like me." The words were out before I could hold them back. If he saw too much of my bitterness, his dragon and he would think I was even weaker than I was.

"No. We revere omegas."

I shook my head, my brow stiffening. "You buy and sell them. How can you revere them?"

His face darkened. "I meant our own."

"Not foreigners like me."

Alluresh leaned back in his chair. "You are very valuable."

"I know. You paid an embarrassingly high price for me." I was getting flustered. Self-pity tried to infuse my thoughts. I didn't want that. It was a useless emotion.

I put my fork down. "I'm full."

Alluresh got up and took our plates to the sink. He hadn't finished his meal, either.

I stood, watching him wash up, holding back. I didn't want to help with clearing the table. I didn't want to do anything to help him at this moment.

At the sink, Alluresh spoke without turning around. "Make me a list. Things you might like. Things you might not like."

"I wouldn't know where to start. So. No thank you."

His back went taut. "Start at the beginning with things like clothing. On or off. And do you prefer a bed, a breeding bench, or the floor? Go from there."

What in the hell was a breeding bench?

I turned and left without answering him. When I got upstairs, I went to my game room and played until late at night, trying to forget about things like heats and lists and breeding. Trying to forget what he'd said about dragons only revering other dragon omegas.

I got used to getting up by eight to meet Alluresh for breakfast. He didn't insist, but I did for my own well-being. Meals were the only times we were face to face together. I might be a brood slave with no other choices in my life, but I didn't want to go through my heat with a stranger. Getting to know him helped me.

I knew my heat was coming. September was two weeks away and last year's heat had been early in that month. With an alpha constantly in my presence, it could come sooner.

Several times I'd sat down with my new tablet to start a list of what I called consent.

It was laughable. The very definition of a slave was bondage, subjugation and servitude. No one gave consent to being a slave, let alone one for breeding purposes.

Alluresh had suggested I begin with the clothing issue. I knew from my previous heats that I was body sensitive. Clothing irritated me. If I wore anything, it would need to be soft, lightweight.

As for a breeding bench, I looked that one up online. It looked awful. At the same time, it was practical, allowing for easy copulation without fuss. Or emotion.

Which brought me to another concern. My feelings. The idea of Alluresh taking me through my heat out of necessity and for breeding purposes only made the cold loneliness of being in a new land within a culture I didn't understand stronger. When I thought about being taken in that manner, without any words or other sorts of touches, bile collected in the back of my throat, tears in my eyes.

At dinner, I brought my tablet to the table and placed it in front of Alluresh.

"What's this?"

"I started my list." I worked hard to keep my voice casual.

"On here?"

I nodded.

"Why didn't you email it to me?"

"I don't know your email."

He looked annoyed at himself, then picked up the tablet as he sat and flicked it on.

"It's only a little bit so far." I wanted to be honest but that was an effort since I was in denial about a lot of what might happen to me. I couldn't look at my situation with any sort of clarity or experience.

I had put four things on the list so far.

No clothes.

A bed.

Pretend to care.

Aftercare.

The third item I had typed and erased at least ten times before keeping it. It was huge for me. That need for caring. Once I was okay with using the word care, aftercare came naturally to the list.

Alluresh's mouth made a tight line as he read. It wasn't very many words, but it seemed he was reading it over and over again. He finally looked up.

"This was what I asked for. Thank you."

My cheeks felt hot. I thought it was strange that my owner would ask for this type of list. He was in charge, not me.

Alluresh turned off the tablet and slid it across the table to my side.

"It's okay?"

"It's a start," he replied, picking up his fork and staring at his food.

"Um, should you make a list, too?"

He glanced up, his forkful of mashed potatoes halfway to his mouth. "I hadn't thought."

"I should know what to expect."

It would have been easier if we could talk it all out. But he was not a talker, that was for sure. I knew he thought his dragon controlled him and was wild. But he wasn't the virgin sacrifice, so to speak. I was. I should have some knowledge of what to expect.

"I haven't known any omegas before," he said.

Was I that different? Was sex any different between alphas? I didn't think it would matter all that much. My upcoming heat was what was making this unique. And the fact that he would breed me.

I looked down at my plate and began shoveling food in my mouth. It was all so tasty. One thing was for sure, he provided the best food I'd ever eaten.

When I cleared half my plate, I reached for my drink. I saw Alluresh picking at his own food. I licked my lips.

"I'll work on my list more."

He nodded without looking up.

In my email the next day, I received this:

I also prefer a bed. My bed.

When you sleep, you are to remain in the bed.

Clothing: none as you wish.

Aftercare will be whatever you need, no limits.

He did not address the "pretend to care" part of my own list. But at least he didn't ignore aftercare.