12. Sophie

CHAPTER 12

SOPHIE

" Y ou're what?" Noah's face was slack with shock.

"I'm pregnant," she repeated. It was the first time she had said it out loud.

Noah remained silent. Frozen.

"I'm sorry," she told him.

Noah looked up at her then. "Sorry? What could you possibly have to be sorry for?"

She could hardly speak, her throat was burning. "This isn't… this isn't how you wanted this to happen. I feel like I messed everything up."

It was supposed to be clinical. Professional. A business arrangement. And Sophie had gotten pregnant during their intimate night together.

"What? Sophie, no. What are you talking about?" Noah slid around the table and into her side of the booth.

"This baby—" she started. Tears pooled in her eyes before pouring down her cheeks. Noah wrapped her tightly in his arms as she sobbed onto his shoulder. "It wasn't meant to happen like this. We were going to wait."

He comforted her for another moment, running a soothing hand over her back.

"Sure, this isn't how we wanted it to happen, but we did want this to happen. You should— we should be happy, right?" he asked.

Sophie pulled away from his embrace, wiping away her tears. Her hand shook and she gripped her glass of soda tightly, creating space between them on the seat. "Right."

She was being too emotional. He was right. This was a good thing.

"Sophie, if you're not happy, we don't have to go through with this. I will support any decision you make."

"No," she countered. "No. I want to do this."

"Then why didn't you tell me?"

She took another breath, collecting herself. She felt silly now. "I don't know. I was scared."

"You've been distant ever since our first appointment at the clinic," he pointed out.

"I know, I just—"

"Did I do something to upset you?"

Sophie hesitated, unsure how much she should reveal. "You didn't call yourself the father. You called yourself the donor. And I know you stated that you wouldn't be there, that work was your number-one priority but… I realized how alone I was going to be in this. And it scared me."

Noah was quiet. He picked at his hands, looking unsure of what to say.

"You don't have to say anything," she told him. "I knew what I was signing up for. I just needed a minute to really absorb everything. Seriously, I'm okay."

He still didn't speak and Sophie stopped herself from continuing to ramble. Noah needed a moment to absorb everything too.

"You're not going to be alone," he said quietly. "Look, I might not be the perfect husband or father you always wanted but I can be here for you now. I'm not CEO yet; I can support you through this."

Sophie tried not to get her hopes up. He had already told her the kind of support he was willing to offer.

"I'm not talking about money, Sophie," he said, as if reading her thoughts. "I can't be your partner in this, and for that I'm sorry. But I can be your friend. Anything you need."

Hearing the sincerity in his voice, Sophie looked at him.

"If you want me to come to all the ultrasounds and appointments, I will. If you want to shop for the baby, I'll lend you my credit card and my time. If you have a craving in the middle of the night, I will have it delivered to your house. And if it's not open, I'll buy the restaurant and wake the staff up in the middle of the night to come make it for you. I can't love you, Sophie, but I can show you how much I respect and support you."

His words brought her close to tears again. Noah was offering her more than what they originally agreed to. He was trying to make her happy, trying to be her friend.

Having his support in this for a short time was better than nothing. Right?

Sophie didn't know what to say, so she said the only thing she could think of to express her gratitude. "That would mean a lot, thank you."

"You're welcome." Noah smiled and retook his seat across from her in the booth. He picked up the dessert menu. "Now, we should probably celebrate. How about some cake?"

The post-cry exhaustion was beginning to set in. Hoping that the food would help her nerves, Sophie agreed with a soft laugh. "That would be great."

They ate red velvet cake and discussed some of the critiques on their last car seat commercial. Work was always a safe topic for them but she didn't mind. It was a useful distraction.

After paying the check, Noah walked Sophie to her car, "Are you sure you don't want me to take you home? I can have Ryan pick your car up and take it back to your place."

"No, thank you." Sophie was perfectly capable of driving herself home.

"Okay. Then I will see you on Monday, yes?"

Sophie laughed, no longer having a reason to avoid him. "Yes. I'll see you on Monday, Noah."

She waited for him to leave but he hesitated, like there was something else he wanted to say.

"You're going to be a mom."

Tears immediately sprung to her eyes, "Yeah. I guess I am."

And you're going to be a dad.

"Congratulations," he said, smiling. It looked like he might hug her but decided against it.

Sophie offered her thanks, climbing into her car with a sad smile.

Later that night she looked in the mirror and cradled her still-flat stomach. She was only around four weeks pregnant and there was nothing to see yet, but she couldn't help the urge to feel the growing life inside her.

Despite Noah's attempts to comfort her earlier today, she still felt conflicted. This baby was created under different circumstances than they originally planned.

Not a stream of clinical procedures, but a night of passion between them. And for some reason, it changed the way Sophie viewed it.

Noah had told her that he could not be her partner. That he could not love her. He had warned her of this from the start. But what she never asked was, why?

No! Sophie could not allow herself to think that way. It was none of her business. She and Noah had made a deal. And the way this baby was conceived changed nothing — they had simply expedited the process. Sophie wouldn't waste her time wondering how Noah felt about her.

She had waited her entire adult life for this moment. She was going to be a mom! And she would do anything to ensure her future child's happiness.