10. Sophie

CHAPTER 10

SOPHIE

T he party had been wonderful. Everyone had seemed genuinely happy for them. And she had even gotten to meet Noah's friend Bradley, who seemed nice enough. He also seemed to be the only one outside of her and Noah to know about their arrangement.

Though Noah's father was there, he had left before Sophie got the chance to speak with him. Despite seeing Richard around the office over the last few years, she couldn't recall if she ever had a one-to-one conversation with the man.

Noah had dropped her off at her apartment only an hour ago. He seemed to think everything went well but he also seemed tired. Or at least, she hoped that's what it was and that he wasn't having second thoughts.

She tilted her hand back and forth, letting the kitchen light catch on the glistening diamond on her finger. The ring was beautiful — a simple band of diamonds that curved slightly in the middle to make room for the stackable oval wedding ring. Sophie was surprised by how excited she was to wear the completed set. In fact, she was excited for it all. The wedding planning, picking out the perfect dress, cake tasting, and picking out the venue.

Only a few days ago she'd been worried that she'd missed her chance, and now here she was. Despite the fact that it was a wedding of convenience, she was overjoyed by the idea of her newfound future.

She tried to imagine what their children would look like. Both Sophie and Noah had brown hair, so at least that was almost guaranteed. Would they have his warm hazel eyes or her blue eyes? Would they have his dimpled smile? Either way, Sophie couldn't wait to get pregnant.

They had agreed to wait five months before they started trying, but they had an appointment with a specialist the following Friday to get things started. That way, when they were ready, the process would be faster and smoother.

She climbed into bed giddy with excitement, spending an hour looking at different wedding venues nearby. Now that everything was announced, she could begin planning. It felt like all her wishes were coming true, and she hadn't been this happy in years.

During their discussions about the wedding, Noah had given her a more than generous budget, which he informed her was just a guideline, saying that he had no idea how much weddings cost but to do whatever made her happy.

After a little convincing, she had agreed.

The family image wasn't just for his father, it was for the public. Noah's status as one of Olympus City's most eligible bachelors would cause their engagement and wedding to be the spotlight of this season.

Sophie had to be prepared for things like paparazzi and photoshoots. Everyone would be watching her and Noah. Not only did they need to convince them that they were in love and happy, but also that Noah was the perfect family man.

She fell asleep feeling hopeful, dreaming of holding her swollen belly.

The following Friday, Sophie and Noah entered the doctor's office together. Normally, Sophie would be stuck waiting for her appointments but today, they were called in almost immediately.

The doctor completed a thorough check-up and blood work panel to analyze Sophie's health.

After a lengthy discussion, she and Noah decided that intrauterine insemination would be the best option for them. The doctor also provided her with everything she would need to support and encourage her body to get pregnant, including some information packets on the IUI process, ovulation tracking, and fertility diet.

"We'll call you if anything comes up with your blood work. We're a little backed up right now, but just remember, no news is good news," the doctor told her.

Sophie felt good about the appointment. At least the doctor didn't think she would have any trouble getting pregnant. The only thing she felt nervous about was a comment that Noah had made to the doctor.

When asked about their relationship, he made a joke insinuating that he was strictly a donor. She knew he was partly joking, but something about it provoked an uncomfortable emotion. Yes, Noah had informed her that he would not be a large part of the child's life, but hearing him call himself a donor and not a father bothered her. More than she cared to let on.

Sophie stayed silent on the car ride home, feeling sick to her stomach.

"Is everything okay?" Noah asked.

"Yeah, I'm just tired," she replied.

He didn't question her further and dropped her off at her apartment. The moment Sophie stepped inside, tears began to fall. What if she couldn't do this? Did she really not care if her child had a father or not?

Her thoughts carried her to the couch, where she remained for hours. Worry consumed her. All the happiness and excitement that she was feeling last week was gone.

Was she that desperate to have a child? Wouldn't it be selfish of her to have a baby with someone she knew did not want to be a father?

It had been three weeks since she and Noah had made the agreement. They were officially engaged and were already in the process of looking into IUI. She couldn't back out now.

She could love the child enough for both of them, right?

The tight feeling in her stomach hadn't gone away by the time she crawled into bed that night. In fact, it followed her throughout the weekend and into her work week. She didn't answer any of Noah's texts after seeing him on Monday.

Hey Sophie. You seemed a little off today, is everything okay?

Should I be worried?

Hello?

Along with the physical symptoms that seemed to plague her, her anxiety about the situation continued to rise, causing her emotions to jump from perfectly okay, to despair in a matter of seconds. She didn't want to worry Noah until she really understood what she was feeling herself.

Yes, she wanted to be a mother, more than anything in her life. But bringing a child into the world, knowing that the baby's father didn't feel the same, didn't feel right to her.

And yet, she had made a promise to Noah, to marry him. To help him get the position he deserved.

A child in exchange for a job.

Wording the situation in that way made the reality of it all much darker. How would her child feel, knowing that their entire existence was so that their father could get a promotion?

Sophie knew she should have answered Noah's messages before going to work on Tuesday morning but she still didn't know what to say. So it didn't surprise her when Noah called her into his office immediately upon her arrival.

"Hey," he said, offering her seat.

Sophie sat down, clamping her hands together. "Hey, I'm sorry I didn't get a chance to answer your texts. I haven't been feeling well."

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I think I might have the flu or something," she told him. It wasn't necessarily a lie; she had been feeling sick. Maybe she was about to start her period. Sophie tried to remember her last cycle when Noah interrupted her thoughts.

"Are you sure that's all it is?"

"Yes," she replied.

Noah watched her skeptically for a moment. "Okay. But if there was something wrong you would tell me, right?"

"Of course."

"All right. I'm out of the office for the next few days but I'll see you for the appointment on Friday?"

Sophie stood. "Yeah. I'll meet you at the clinic."

Noah didn't stop her from leaving and thankfully didn't offer to pick her up either. She needed some space from everything. It wasn't like she wanted to end their arrangement, she just needed time to sort out her real feelings. To come to terms with the fact that she would be a married single mother.

At least she wouldn't have to see Noah for the next few days. That was a relief. Sophie avoided him the rest of the day, making a beeline for her car the moment she finished work.

She felt horrible. What was wrong with her? Maybe she was just PMSing, or maybe…

Sophie opened her phone, sliding over to her period tracking app. She was a few days late.

No. There's no way. She could not be pregnant… could she?

There was only one way to find out. Instead of letting her mind run wild, Sophie stopped at the drugstore on the way home.

She ended up avoiding going home right away, delaying the inevitable. Now that she had the tools to know, she was scared. She stopped through two different drive-throughs. One for coffee and one for food, but she wasn't hungry.

She would take a test and her period would come right away; it always did. It was just nerves.

Sophie hurried inside, taping her foot until the elevator reached her floor. When she got inside her apartment, she headed straight to the bathroom without taking off her shoes.

Setting the bag on the counter, she pulled the test out and tore open the box.

After following the instructions inside, she placed the test upside down on her counter and started the timer on her phone.

Sophie paced outside the bathroom anxiously.

There's no way.

The timer dinged and she turned it off. But before she could flip the test, her phone buzzed with an incoming phone call.

It was the clinic.

They were most likely just confirming her appointment on Friday, she told herself.

But the moment Sophie answered it, she knew.

A sickness flooded through her as she flipped the test on the counter in double confirmation.