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22. Anna

CHAPTER 22

ANNA

T he first thing I notice when I wake up is the way my hips ache.

The second, and more important, thing I notice is Joel sleeping next to me, his arm looped over my waist, his mouth slightly open as he breathes through it.

Holy shit. Did I really sleep with a billionaire last night?

Honestly, the most surprising thing is how damn good he was. I was kind of expecting him to make me do all the work, but I had more orgasms last night than I've had in the last five years. His stamina is pretty incredible and his dedication is even better.

Shit. This is bad. I cannot be getting my feelings requited by a billionaire . By Joel Lockhart! He's a household name! He's my brother's best friend. He's a notorious womanizer!

We did not think this through at all. There's no way a washed-out loser with nothing to give can be good enough for him. Even in the family-disappointment club, Joel comes out on top with his business and his money. At least I've never taken my pants off in public. That's the one thing I've got going for me.

What the hell is Ben going to think? I had sex with his best friend in his bed. What the hell were we thinking?

The logical part of me knows this was a mistake that should never be repeated.

The selfish part of me wants to wake Joel up right now and do it all over again. He makes me feel the way everyone says love is meant to feel. Listened to. Respected. So what if it's only been a week? With some people, you just know that they're right for you. Sometimes, when it's right, a few days are enough to feel like a lifetime of good.

His arms are so warm and comforting, but I'm still covered in sweat from last night. Five more minutes. Then I'll get up and break out of this daydream that can't last.

I settle in and let myself be held, his breath tickling the back of my neck with each fall of his chest.

I think I must have fallen asleep again because when I open my eyes back up, Joel has rolled onto his back, freeing me from the cuddle. Not that I really wanted to be freed, but this means I can get up and pull myself back to reality. Which is going to start with a shower and a glass of water because my mouth is drier than a desert.

As quietly as I can, I peel myself out of bed and dash back to my room completely naked. There hadn't been time for any foresight like ‘get clothes for the morning' last night. There was no room for anything sensible between our bodies.

How can I be horny for him again? It's not like he didn't make me come enough last night.

I rummage through my suitcase which is still dumped on the floor in the corner, my clothes spilling out onto the carpet in a sea of blue and white. Any order that there had been to my packing is long gone so I don't even bother to keep anything neat. I'm sure I had another pair of yoga pants in here, or at least something comfortable enough to lounge in.

Finally, I find them, stretchy and star-printed, and drag them on along with a plain T-shirt. I don't bother with underwear. For one thing, I'm about to shower, and for another, I need to let some air in down there.

My head is pounding right now, though. Dehydration, most likely. I sneak out into the kitchen, painfully aware of every noise my feet make on the wood floor. I hope Joel isn't a light sleeper.

I grab a glass from a cupboard. Ben has one of those fancy fridge water filters, so I shove the cup into it and let it fill. I'd put ice in, but the noise of that clunking into the glass isn't worth it.

As I let the cool water sweep through me, I lean against the counter and close my eyes. This is so not how I expected this week to go. And fantastic as it's been, I need it to end here. I cannot keep fucking a guy in my brother's house in secret. It makes me feel like a teenager, the two of us fooling around and getting into all sorts of trouble behind our parents' backs.

The issue is, as grown adults, we can make our own choices, and I really, really want to keep choosing this.

A shower will fix me. I'm going to finish this water then I'm going to wash all these feelings down the drain and chalk the whole affair up to the fact that I haven't been laid in years and I forgot how good it feels to have someone kiss you like you're their everything.

"Morning," says Joel, making me jump.

"Don't do that," I scold, though I'm not really angry. How can I be when he's wandering around out here without a shirt on, showing off his perfectly tanned skin and gently toned abs.

He throws up his hands in surrender. "Sorry. Next time I'll stomp real loud so you hear me coming."

I make a face at him and stick out my tongue which is kind of childish but I haven't got a better comeback. He winks at me and goes into the refrigerator. I notice his hand instinctively reach for a beer, but then he hesitates and grabs a carton of orange juice instead to take a swig. I hold in my smile; I don't want him to feel like I'm patronizing him for being proud of his growth.

Is it na?ve to believe that a handful of days is enough to change him for good?

"So…" I start, not sure how to say what I have to say. "Last night."

"Last night," he echoes.

"Mistake?" I ask, uncertain and hesitant, sipping my water.

He takes another shot of juice. "You think?"

"I don't know."

Lying now seems to be pointless and if I'm lucky, he's feeling as conflicted as I am. He nods slowly, weighing things up inside his head. The morning sun stretches in through the window, bright on his body, drawing my eyes to him like a spotlight. His hair is ruffled from sex and sleep, but despite being the least polished self he could be, he's still alluring to me. I still want to stare at him.

I'm hoping the weird look he's giving me means something similar is going through his head.

"I guess you're right," he frowns, putting the juice down on the countertop and turning to face me squarely. "We should probably not do that again."

"Yeah," I agree, my heart and hopes falling. I shouldn't be disappointed. As if a handsome billionaire was going to like me. "Probably not."

I'm so busy trying not to let my face show the heartbreak I'm feeling that I barely notice him get closer to me until he's just inches away. I blink up at him and see he's wearing that grin and I realize he's just toying with me. Despite being midday, it's too early for this kind of emotional rollercoaster.

I raise an eyebrow at him. With all the sincerity of a kid lying about pushing his little brother over, he says, "A huge mistake, right? You and me?"

Slowly, I nod, putting my glass down, examining his expression to make sure I've got this game right. "Oh, huge. Definitely shouldn't be repeated."

I shuffle a little closer to him, looking up to stare into his twinkling eyes. "Definitely."

When I reach up to kiss him, he doesn't resist, and I decide not to doubt it anymore. He likes me. If he didn't, he wouldn't kiss me again like this.

In the hard light of day, he still wants me. So, the least I can do is respect him and believe that it's true. We sink into the kiss and I let the last of my denial wash away into want and adoration.

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