25. Leah

CHAPTER 25

LEAH

" W hat do you think of this one?" Taylor holds up a color swatch. "It's called sunrise yellow."

"It's cute." I compare it with the other swatches we've already picked out. "It might be a bit too much for the nursery. Maybe for the living room, though."

She puts it back. "Hey, so I know you're going to say this is too fancy, but I want us to do a cake testing for your baby shower. There's this amazing spot downtown that does allergy-friendly cakes."

I laugh. "It is a bit much, but for all I know this will be the only time I've ever pregnant, so why not go all out? Let's do it."

Resting my hands on my belly, I walk down the hardware store aisle, inspecting light fixtures.

"Wow. Really?" She catches up with me. "That's not what I expected you to say. I thought you would be too busy with work."

I shrug. "I guess I've been thinking more about what matters. Work isn't everything."

She arches an eyebrow. "You're in a good mood."

I try to stop myself from smiling, but it's no good. Yes, I'm in a good mood. Jack and I are hanging out tomorrow.

And I know I shouldn't be giddy about it, but I am. I can't help it.

When he was over for dinner the other night, I did freak out a little bit. I loved having him there so much that the thought of his leaving terrified me, and I ended up pushing him away.

Or at least I thought that's what I was doing, because then he asked me to spend Saturday with him anyway.

I can't help but feel like there's something between us, something that's been simmering beneath the surface for a while now. Maybe it's just wishful thinking on my part, but I can't shake the feeling.

Taylor interrupts my thoughts. "Hey, what do you think of this one?" She holds up a light fixture. "It's cute, right?"

I nod, but my mind is elsewhere. What if Jack does feel the same way I do? What if we could be more than employee and boss? Even more than friends?

"Leah?" Taylor waves a hand in front of my face. "You with me?"

I shake my head, trying to focus on the present. "Sorry, what were you saying?"

She laughs. "Where is your mind?"

"Oh, uh. I was thinking about…" My face warms. "Jack and I are going shopping for nursery items tomorrow."

Her jaw drops. "What? What happened to him not wanting to be involved with the triplets?"

"Well, he didn't say he wants to be involved with them."

Her eyes narrow. "But he bought you a house, and he wants to go shopping together for nursery items."

"Yes," I slowly answer, unsure which point she's trying to prove. That Jack is having a change of heart, or that he's still an asshole?

Honestly, I don't know what to believe. I'm more confused than anyone else at this point.

"So what? He wants to play house now?"

"It's not like that. We're just friends."

But even as the words leave my mouth, I can't help but wonder if there's something more. The way he looks at me sometimes, the way he touches my arm when we're talking… it's like there's an unspoken chemistry between us.

Taylor looks doubtful.

"What?" I press. "You kept saying months ago that he has a thing for me."

"Yeah, I know." She nods. "And I still think he does… just not in the way you need him to."

She pushes our shopping cart ahead, and I have to hustle to keep up. "Jack and I are going shopping, and that's all it is."

"Is that all he thinks it is?"

That makes me hesitate. "I don't know."

"How do you know he doesn't just want to get some preggers ass and then peace out?"

An old woman walking by shoots Taylor a horrified look, but she ignores it.

"I… I don't know," I say.

It's an annoying question, but she has a point.

"And what about you?" She stops pushing the cart and turns to face me straight on. "I know you want a family, Leah. A real partner. If you and Jack start hanging out, how will that make you feel, being so close to something you want but can't have?"

My heart sinks. She's right, of course. Being in close proximity to Jack, especially as we start preparing for the arrival of the triplets, is only going to make things more complicated. But I can't help the way I feel. I can't help the way my heart races whenever he's near me, or the way my skin tingles when he touches me.

"I don't know," I finally admit, my voice barely above a whisper.

Taylor puts a comforting hand on my shoulder. "I get that this is hard. And I'm not saying you should cut Jack out of your life completely. But you need to be careful. You can't keep hoping for something that may never happen. It's not fair to you or the babies."

I nod slowly, knowing that she's right. I need to be realistic about my expectations, even if it means putting some distance between Jack and me. As much as I hate to admit it, Taylor is the voice of reason that I desperately need right now.

We finish up at the hardware store, and I feel like I might need to throw up despite the fact that I haven't had morning sickness for months.

In the parking lot, we walk to Taylor's car with our hands full of things to redo my new house with. When she suggested the run, I thought it would be a fun project.

Now I just feel sorry for myself. I like home projects, but it would feel nice to have a man around to put a shelf up for me every once in a while.

"Hey." Taylor stops before she opens her car door. "I'm sorry if I was too harsh. I didn't mean to bring the mood down. I'm just concerned."

I force a smile. "I know you are, and it's all right. I'm gonna talk to him."

"When?"

I gulp. "How do you feel about taking a quick detour?"

Pulling out my phone, I send Jack a text asking if we can speak in person. He responds, saying that he's home wrapping up some things for the week, and I'm welcome to stop by.

My insides twist up. I haven't been to his house since that one and only fateful night. While I'm not eager to return, I'll feel better once I get this conversation over with.

Responding that I'll be there in twenty minutes, I give Taylor the address and we take off.

"Want me to come in with you?" she asks as Jack's security guard lets us through the front gate.

I shake my head. "I'll be okay, thanks. This will be quick."

She stops at the top of the driveway, and I climb out with shaking legs. As much as I know I need to do this, I'm not looking forward to it. But time with Jack is a guilty pleasure that needs to be cut from my life.

I make my way to the front door, taking a deep breath before ringing the doorbell. Jack opens the door, and I nearly fall over at the sight of him.

God, he looks so good. So strong. So fucking sexy. And he smells amazing, too. Fresh, like he just stepped out of a shower.

"Hey." His gaze drifts over my shoulder. "Is that Taylor?"

"Yeah, she's waiting in the car for me. I'll only be a few minutes." I cross my arms, and his lips turn down as he picks up on my mood.

"Would you like to come inside?" he asks.

I draw a deep breath. That doesn't seem like the best idea. There are too many memories of that blissful night in his house.

"Out here is fine, thank you," I say.

He nods once, his face still and expressionless. "What did you want to talk about?"

I swallow hard. I can do this. I have to do this.

"I can't keep doing this, Jack."

"Doing what?" he slowly asks, though he has to be playing dumb. He knows very well what I'm talking about.

"Spending time together. Acting like we're friends."

Or something more, I add to myself, but can't bring myself to voice that part.

His lips turn down. "We can't be friends?"

I pin him with a hard gaze. Enough of dancing around this issue. "You know we can't be friends."

He tears his eyes away from mine, and I'm expecting an answer, but he doesn't say anything.

I lick my lips. "I'm taking my maternity leave starting Monday. I really appreciate all the help that you've given me, but it's best if we don't see any more of each other before the babies arrive."

He blinks. "And after the babies arrive?"

He's baiting me. He has to be. We both know very well that he doesn't want a relationship with these kids.

"It's best that we don't see each other outside of work," I say. "Ever."

His throat rolls with a swallow, and then he stands up straighter. "I see."

"Again," I say, "I appreciate the house and everything else, but we should stick to what your lawyers outlined in the contract and not go beyond that."

I can feel his eyes on me, and I hold my ground, refusing to back down.

"Is that all you wanted to say?" he asks, his voice cold and detached.

I nod, swallowing the lump in my throat. "Yes, that's all."

Without another word, he steps back into his house and closes the door behind him, leaving me standing alone on his doorstep.

I take a deep breath, trying to steady myself as I make my way back to Taylor's car. She looks at me expectantly as I climb in, but I don't say anything.

As she starts the car and drives off, I turn my head to look back at Jack's house. This is it. The end of an era.

But as much as I try to convince myself that this is for the best, I can't help the ache in my chest as I realize that I'll never see him outside of work again.

Or maybe I won't even see him there.

Because as much as I've held onto GourmetGlobal, it's no longer at the top of my priorities. In addition to my children, I need to think about myself.

And it could be that the best thing I can do for my mental health is to leave Leadsom and GourmetGlobal behind. Leave it all behind and start my new era. That of a single mom who once had a taste of a passionate man before it all fell away.

I take a deep breath, pushing away the sadness that threatens to engulf me. I need to focus on my future, on the life I want to build for myself and my children.

"You okay?" Taylor asks softly.

"Yeah." I nod, my gaze straight ahead.

No, I'm not really okay. But I will be one day.