31. Candice

CHAPTER 31

CANDICE

I grunt as I get laced into the dress. I swear, every time I've had this damn thing put on me, it's been tied tighter, like they're trying to shame me for having a human waistline. Nothing in the world could have stopped me from comfort-eating this week.

My phone lights up on the table, buzzing faintly. "Please can I have that?" I ask one of the attendants. She hesitates, looking around like she's waiting for permission. "Please," I say again. Fortunately, she doesn't need any other persuading.

I unlock it to see a message from my mother wishing me luck and calling me beautiful, and another from Kelly. See u soon??? good luck?! is all it says.

Guess it must be pretty obvious to her that I'm thinking about running.

I'm torn by the idea of it. On the one hand, running is a very attractive option. I could get out of this hideous chiffon-and-satin nightmare. I could go somewhere very far away and start all over again, safe in the knowledge that I'd never have to look at Aiden or his stupid company again. I wouldn't have to face being splashed across the national papers looking like an idiot.

On the other hand, it would kill Mettie's completely. My career has always been everything to me, and running would kill that deader than something that had died three seconds ago.

And I think I love Aiden.

That isn't stopping me being mad at him, though — for this nonsense, for not standing up for us, for not listening. For making me love him and not letting me tell him.

Ugh! I'm making a pros-and-cons list about my wedding on the day of it! This isn't normal behavior. Nothing about this is normal in any way. I shoot Kelly a text back to say yes, but I'm not sure if that's true.

An attendant wanders over with my veil, and I shake my head. "Do we have to do that already?"

"It's nearly time for you to go. You'll want to be ready for the chauffeur."

"Can I have another minute, please? I'm too hot."

"I'll get you some water," she says with a kind smile before dashing off in search of a cup. It's only me, the woman doing up the buttons on the back of the dress, the makeup artist, and one young girl whose role isn't entirely clear to me. Katie isn't here. I could easily overpower every one of these women.

Do I really want to fight them off? Will the nerves pass when I get into the car?

"Can I sit down?" I ask, my legs suddenly weak.

The young woman comes to fuss over me. "Are you okay, miss?"

I wobble precariously. "I need a minute. Please," I mumble, pressing my hand to my forehead. I hear the makeup artist gasp, but I don't care. I'm lightheaded, like all the air is draining from the room.

I'm guided to a chair and handed a polystyrene cup filled with ice-cold water. The cold makes me wince, but it does bring some feeling back to my brain. I close my eyes and breathe. This will be over soon. Everything will be okay.

"If I can say so, you look gorgeous in that dress," says the makeup artist. "Are you nervous, hon?"

I nod. There aren't really words to describe the churning inside me right now, the shaking hands and nausea, the dread, but "nervous" is close enough.

The women all coo around me like doves, making noises that are clearly intended to soothe me but are actually suffocating. "It's okay to be nervous; this is the biggest day of your life!"

"Does it have to be?" I mumble.

The cooing turns concerned, like I might actually be about to pack up and leave, but before anyone can start dissuading me, another woman slips into the room, shutting the door quietly behind her. She has a shock of ginger hair that looks like no amount of taming would make a difference, and a constellation of freckles all over her nose. She flushes when she sees me, like she's nervous too.

"Hello," she says softly. "My name is Martine."

"Okay…?" We stare at each other for a while until she clears her throat and fumbles with some papers from her briefcase. Despite the impression of professionalism given off by her business suit, her manner suggests that she is a young person starting out in her career.

Part of me envies her. I miss that na?veté.

"Um, I'm here on behalf of Mr. Fletcher and his senior lawyer, Mr. Richardson, to give you an update on proceedings."

"Wait, I'm being arrested?" I bite my lip, wincing at hearing such stupid words come out of my mouth.

Martine flushes harder, shaking her head. "No. Oh, I'm sorry, I… Miss Metcalf, I'm sorry to say that Mr. Fletcher is about to rescind his proposal due to some last-minute discoveries by the legal team."

"We're not going to merge?" I shout, jumping to my feet. All nervousness flies away, replaced with a searing rage. If he thinks I'm going to marry him and not merge, he's got another think coming!

I kick off my heels, my feet immediately thanking me, and start clawing at the buttons on the back of the dress. The woman who did them all up gasps in horror, and I feel a tiny bit bad for undoing all her hard work.

"No, no. This is all coming out wrong." Martine shakes her head again and clears her throat. "You'll still merge. You just won't marry."

"What?" I let my hands drop to my sides, dumbfounded. All I can do is repeat myself. "What?"

And then the door flies open again.

It's Aiden, his face tomato-red, panting and sweating like he's run a marathon, half the buttons of his shirt undone and his tie hanging sloppily around his neck. "Candice, thank God you're still here!"

My mouth drops open and all I can manage to stammer is a nonsensical, "I… am?"

"What have you been told? What do you know?"

"Nothing!" I exclaim, startled by the intensity he's showing.

"Everyone, get out," he says, so calmly that the words barely register until he raises his voice to say it again. "Get out!"

Everyone shares a panicked look before they all collectively decide not to argue with the guy who gives them their paychecks. They all file out of the room, and as the last woman goes, she clicks the door quietly shut behind her, leaving me and Aiden alone.

"You look good," he says, his breath still coming hard.

I scoff. "I look like a fucking idiot."

"But a very attractive one," he says, grinning and taking a step towards me.

I'm having a rollercoaster day, again, so I hold out my hand to halt him. "You can't flirt with me when you're jilting me."

"I'm jilt— what?" He screeches to a halt, giving me that confused-cat look again like he's thrown a toy under the sofa.

"Isn't that what you've come here to say? That this ridiculous marriage is off the cards after all? That we wasted all this time and effort for nothing?" I put my hands on my hips, but the lacy ribbon has such a frustrating texture that I want to rip it all off, so I go back to trying to claw the dress off me.

Aiden shakes his head and surges towards me again. "Candice, please listen to me," he says, his fingers brushing over my back, our knuckles colliding as he sets to work on the buttons. I thrash under the touch like I'm being electrocuted. "Please, let me help, and listen."

Much as it pains me to admit it, I do need his help, so I relent, letting him free me. "What's going on, Aiden? Tell me."

"Clearly Martine told you something, but the truth is this: they found a loophole, so we can still merge, but if we don't want to, we don't have to marry. The companies will be okay regardless."

He unhooks the final button and pulls on the string that laces me in, releasing the corset from my waist. I sigh as he helps me step out of it, and I kick it aside for good measure. I should be embarrassed to be stood here in my underwear with a full face of makeup and a hairdo caked in hairspray, but all I feel is the relief of being in my own skin again.

"So, you don't want this stupid wedding after all?" I ask, angry at my own sinking disappointment. Isn't this what I wanted all along? To be free from him?

Why is this like a slap in the face?

I clench my fists and walk over to the vanity mirror, pulling the clips out of my hair until my bob cascades around my face again. I run my hand through it, trying to get it to look anything like normal again, at the same time looking around to try and find my normal clothes. This is humiliating enough without having to get a taxi while being half naked.

"Guess I'll go, then," I say, marching bitterly towards the wardrobe. Wrenching open the doors, I'm relieved to see my dress hanging there.

Aiden rushes up to me again, grabbing my wrist as I go to take the hanger. "Please, Candice, wait. I know this is never what you wanted." He slides his hand down into mine, freeing the engagement ring from my finger.

I bark a bitter laugh as he takes it back. "Looks like you didn't either. Has this all been a game to you?"

"No!" he says, his eyes suddenly glistening as he runs a hand through his disheveled hair. "Not at all. How can you think that?"

"You have thirty seconds to explain what's going on before I walk out of here," I say, wrestling my dress on and dragging the zipper up. At least I have a little of my dignity restored now.

He drops to his knees like he's begging, but then I realize exactly what he's doing as he shuffles his weight from knee to knee and holds out the ring, and my hands fly to my mouth. "This isn't what you wanted, and honestly, me neither. When I imagined marrying you, it was on a warm beach, barefoot at sunset, flowers in your hair and free cocktails all night long.

"I'm so sorry I let everyone talk us into this pantomime. And now we don't have to do it like this. Let's do it properly, the way we want to. I love you, and I want you to marry me, Candice — not now, not even soon. All I need is for you to promise you will. Let's focus on the merger and then have the wedding we want to have."

There's no point in trying to hold back the tears, so I let them flow freely down my face, exorcising the last of the negativity I've been fostering towards him for so long. I'm tired of the rage. I'm tired of pretending his arms don't bring me more comfort than I can explain. I'm tired of pretending that seeing his face doesn't make me happy.

"Okay," I whisper, sinking down to the floor in front of him. "Yes. I promise. A merger and a marriage. Our way."

He lets out a watery laugh, and I lean in to kiss him, tasting the salt of his sweat on his lips, relaxing into him as he slips the ring onto my finger then holds me, pulling me in closer. "I love you, Aiden," I murmur into his ear. "I'm sorry I pretended otherwise."

Holding me tight, he kisses me again. "I'm truly sorry for not listening. Let's get out of here."

"What, and leave everyone waiting?"

He shrugs. "It'll give them a story, and a better one than woman wears enormous expensive dress ."

"So you do agree! It's horrible!" I can't help but grin, and Aiden grins back, and then we're both laughing for no reason, tears still clinging to my face, holding on to each other like it's a promise to never let go.

"Come on," he says, getting up and helping me to my feet. "Back to my place?"

I nod. In one swift movement, he lifts me up into his arms like the bride I'm not, and kisses me again. "Let's go and merge," he says with a suggestive eyebrow raise.

I giggle and hit his chest gently, but don't resist. At last, I'm where I'm supposed to be.