21. Candice

CHAPTER 21

CANDICE

I get up early. I'm a morning person anyway, but I like to stay in bed till at least seven a.m. on a Saturday. But it's five thirty and I can't stand the sound of Aiden's breathing anymore and I'm terrified that he's going to reach out in his sleep and grab me like some demon in a horror film.

Would that be so bad?

Right now, yes, it would be. I've barely slept, and I'm so tense from keeping my guard up that my shoulders are creaking like ancient trees. I shouldn't be so unfair on Aiden — from the horror on his face yesterday, he wasn't expecting pseudo-psychoanalysis either.

When I said retreat , he was probably expecting something more like an extended lavish spa day. So was I.

The idea of spending another day with June does not fill me with joy.

We played more card games last night in an attempt to further assess our compatibility, but really it was all guessing games and party tricks. It's the kind of thing that's fun with people you like, at an actual party, but in a dark room with a woman who keeps insisting that fate is drawing me and Aiden together, it's utterly unbearable. Eventually I had to pretend to be tired to get out of anything else — which today isn't going to be that much of a lie at all.

Is it so bad that I want to lie by the pool for a while instead?

I stare out of the window for a while, looking at the trees waving over the oasis. It is a beautiful place. I can barely see the water from here, but birds circle overhead, black shadows against the lightening sky as the sun begins to rise. I wish I'd stopped last night to look at the stars.

Aiden's breathing changes suddenly, like he's about to wake up too, so I shove some shoes on my feet and leave the room as quietly as I can, making sure the door doesn't slam behind me. Of course, I will have to see him again today, but I want to be ready for it.

I wander down towards the restaurant, hoping that breakfast starts at six a.m. It's still early, but if I can at least get a table, it'll give me something to do. I should have brought my book. Ugh.

I'm completely alone in the restaurant, but fortunately I am allowed to look at a menu and order. I'm about to tuck into a giant stack of pancakes when, to my despair, a figure with long, strawberry-blond hair and a loose floral dress waltzes in and takes a seat across from me. "Good morning! Did you see the sunrise? Oh, isn't it gorgeous?"

I nod in agreement with all of June's questions. I'm so not in the mood for a conversation at this time of day.

She orders some granola for herself and starts telling me about the dream she had last night about running naked along a beach, the sand under her feet and a storm rolling in from the sea. I wish I'd slept well enough to dream. Or is it when you don't sleep well that you dream?

Thinking about that means I miss her question, which I only realize when she stares expectantly at me. I swallow my mouthful too fast and it gets stuck in my throat, so I can only choke out a, "Sorry, what?"

"Are you excited for the day?" she repeats with a smile.

I nod as politely as I can, hoping that my breakfast struggle is covering my total lack of enthusiasm. "What're we doing?"

"I've got a couple of things planned, but today is a little more self-guided than yesterday, you'll be pleased to hear." The glint in her eye suggests she knows exactly how annoying I found yesterday, and I get a tiny twinge of guilt for thinking badly of her.

Breakfast drags on and on, and when Aiden comes down, I stand quickly, excusing myself so I don't have to watch him eat. I say I want to shower, but the truth is, I plan to sit and stare out the window until we have to meet up again.

"See you later!" June waves after me. I choose to wave back rather than acknowledge Aiden at all.

By the time we all gather back in the conference room, I'm in a thoroughly bad mood and I want nothing more than to lie on the floor cushions and have a mid-morning nap. Maybe we can convince June that that's a good bonding activity.

But before I can even sit down on my lovely, soft pillow, June makes us stand on opposite sides of the room. "I'm sure you'll agree that the most important thing in any relationship of any kind is to be able to trust each other and communicate."

I'm not sure that I agree, but I nod anyway. I don't care enough to argue.

"I get the sense that there's a lot of unspoken history between you two," says June. I frown at her hard. Anyone with eyes would be able to tell that, surely. "So the space here now represents the past that you haven't shared. I'd like you both to say one truth and take a step forward. Who wants to start?"

To my surprise, Aiden speaks right away. "I still regret the way Candice never let me explain myself when she walked out on me. I would have told her that my father was going to disinherit me if I hadn't pretended to be an intern, and that he always played games with me like that. I was never allowed to do anything if I didn't prove myself first."

He takes a step, and I bite my tongue. He makes it sound like his comfortable little life as a billionaire's son has been so hard — but he won't have even needed a student loan. He could have paid any college in the country to take him. I've only just managed to pay mine off.

"Well," I say, folding my arms, "I'm still hurt over the fact that Aiden lied to me at all."

"I've been thinking about Candice for years, and I've always wondered what she's been doing all this time."

"I haven't used a single piece of Fletcher Tech since I got usurped from the job."

"I always thought Candice would get the job because she deserved it most of all."

We're closer now, and his eyes are begging me to trust him and confess that I've loved him all this time too. Clearly that's what he's trying to tell me. It's what this whole stupid weekend is about — trying to trap me into being his wife. So, he wants the truth? He wants to know what I really think?

I glance at June, who's standing in her corner, observing. She doesn't give any cues at all.

So, I decide to be honest.

"I was so angry when you lied to me, but honestly? It's the best thing that ever happened to me. If I'd got the job, I never would have started Mettie's. I wouldn't have been so driven to succeed all by myself. And you know what? For a long time, I was grateful for it, because I have worked so hard and succeeded so much. But now, seeing you again? I'm angry . I'm so angry I could burst because all that time, your father lied to all of us about that job. I tried so hard for it, and it never could have been mine."

"What, and that's my fault?" Aiden exclaims, confusion and irritation flashing over his face.

"No!" I say with a huff. "Well, yes, kind of! So maybe you didn't exactly scheme about it together, but face it — there was no way in hell he was ever going to give someone else the job. It was all some sick game to him, and it made everyone else suffer."

"You weren't even at the ceremony. How do you know how everyone felt?"

"Ceremony!" I scoff. I'm so not surprised to learn that it was pompous beyond belief. "How could I have gone after you betrayed me?"

"I didn't— it wasn't like… I never meant to hurt you," he stammers, his cheeks starting to pink with an emotion I can't decode. Shame? Embarrassment?

"But you did !" I snap, tears stinging my eyes. I've imagined this conversation a hundred times but it never went like this in my head. "And you can't honestly tell me that the others were happy to roll over and congratulate you for beating them?"

"They were, actually," he says sharply, showing me an anger I don't ever think I've seen from him. "They had the good grace to congratulate me and let me win with no hard feelings."

I sputter in disbelief. The arrogance of this guy! "How dare you treat me like this is all my fault? All this was your idea to begin with! I never wanted you to buy my company, and I didn't really even want to come to this stupid place!"

"Then why did you suggest it?" His face is bright red now, his eyes wide and angry, like I'm the one betraying him. "I thought you wanted to give us a go."

"This was never about us," I hiss. "This was always for the good of Mettie's. And you know what? Fuck your money. We can do this without you. I'm done with this."

As we've been arguing, we've still been slowly creeping towards each other, like this cosmic magnetism June believes in has actually been drawing us in. We're close enough that I could reach out and touch him, or hit him, or push him away. Anything.

All I do instead is turn on my heel and march towards the door. If I have to look at his face for much longer, I'm going to do something I'll regret.

"Candice, where are you going?" he calls after me as I wrench open the door.

"I'm getting the hell out of here, and away from you!" I spit, turning over my shoulder to look at him one last time. Somehow, seeing the hurt of my words sink in isn't giving me the sense of victory I always thought it would. It's a hollow kind of win.

I don't hesitate, though. Even as he yells after me, I don't stop. I have to get out of here. The swirl of emotions is too much to handle.

I want my life to go back to how it was before he called me and opened up all my old wounds again. I want it to stop hurting.