Chapter 68

AN INTERVIEW WITH VILLI AND VERA

VILLI:

I hate this.

What the hell do I need to be interviewed for? A job?

I’m a hockey player.

I play for Seattle.

Vera and I live in the same condo as before.

That’s about it.

We’re just doing our thing together.

(There’s an inaudible whisper)

(Villi folds his arms)

Of course you’d want to know about the bar fight.

Wow.

The internet never forgets, huh?

Okay. Fine.

There was a list that ended up going around the campus Vera works at.

Some of these frat boy fuckheads made a list of professors they wanted to fuck.

The list had some other details too which were quite honestly a little gross.

Vera topped in every category.

Not only that but the loser who created the list started to bother her a little.

He always had an excuse to stay late, if you get the idea.

He would say things. He would flirt.

Now you know Vera. She’s bold and tough.

But she started to get a little uneasy with this guy.

I took matters into my own hands.

I went to a bar where I knew him and his buddies would be.

I hung around, had a beer or two, and then I handled it.

Told him he needed to cut the shit or there would be big problems.

The guy had never been in a fight before. He didn’t know what to do.

He threw a beer at me.

One of his buddies threw the first punch, hitting me in the cheek.

I’m not going to get into details of it all, but I took care of it.

Five dudes were left bloody and learned a lesson that night.

Don’t fuck with the woman I love.

Nothing happened to me, rightfully so, because when the cops and the university got a hold of that list…

Doesn’t matter now.

Vera and I are good.

Happy. In love.

I mean, what do you want to know? You want the details of our sex life?

Want to know how many times we fucked last week?

Want to know about her giving me head this morning in the shower?

(Villi stands up and walks away)

VERA:

Sorry about him.

My big, sexy grump, huh?

Seattle is on a four game losing streak and he’s taking it personally.

(Vera looks around…)

I don’t know what I’m supposed to say or not say here.

Like, what do you really want to know…?

Okay.

I have a second interview for a position in Seattle.

We can move there together and settle.

It’ll make life so much easier.

I’ve been looking at some houses, just for fun.

I don’t want to make it seem like I’m spending Villi’s money.

Also, we were talking last week about some stuff.

You know, the future and all that.

Something came over Villi and wow did we…

We fucked really hard.

And in the middle of it, he told me he wanted to put a baby in me.

And I just felt it… like I wanted it too…

How crazy is that?

So that’s the big news for us, I suppose.

But first we should definitely get settled.

I need to get this new job. We need to find a place to live.

You know, get things in order.

Because Villi has a way of making me act insanely crazy…

VILLI RETURNS:

(He points…)

You want news? Huh? That’s what this is?

Fine.

Here. Look.

(Villi reaches in his pocket and unfolds a piece of paper)

That’s the house Vera has been looking at.

Secretly.

She thinks it’ll stress me out.

My agent and my lawyer are already on it.

She doesn’t know but after practice today, we’re going to look at the house.

And I’ve already made an offer on it.

She’s going to look at it in person, fall in love even more, and then I get to tell her we already sort of own it.

That romantic enough for you?