Chapter 13

WILLOW

Okay. Now you know.

I stare at Knox as he processes the words.

I’m wondering what I do next here.

Touch my stomach? Rub my stomach? Stand up and turn to face him so he can touch my stomach? Maybe I should just start stripping myself naked and distract him with sex… or maybe I’m just horny.

“You… what…?” Knox asks.

“Pregnant. Me. I am.” I point to my stomach. “Right here. Pregnant.”

Knox jumps up off my bed like it’s on fire. “Wait a second, Willow.”

“Please don’t ask how it’s possible,” I say. “You’re a jock but you’re not dumb.”

“We… I thought…”

“What? Did you wear a condom, Knox?”

He steps back. “Don’t you dare blame me.” He runs his hands through his hair. “Wait. Hold on.”

“Knox, take a breath. Hear me out.”

“Hear you out? What is there to hear out? I have to ask you something, Willow. It’s only fair I ask this. You’re going to get mad at me though.”

“Great. Here it comes. Let me guess… you want to know if I’m a whore? If I’ve been screwing five guys at the same time?”

“I never said the word whore and never would,” Knox says, pointing at me. “You’re allowed to do whatever you want with yourself. I would never judge you or anyone based on that. But I think it’s a fair question.”

“What is, Knox?”

Throw blame to the hormones but I feel like this moment is taking a bad turn. I mean, okay, in all fairness, did I expect Knox to jump for joy? Did I expect him to cheer, grab me and kiss me? Did I expect him to drop to his knees and talk to my belly?

Did I expect us to maybe start kissing, smiling, worried, scared, but we have each other, and then we have some really hot, passionate sex that ends with us naked in my bed, ordering food to be delivered to my dorm?

“How do you know?” Knox asks. “Everything…?”

“I’m pregnant because I’m actually a psychic. So I predicted it and now it’s here.”

“Really?”

“No!” I cry out. “You idiot! I took a pregnancy test!”

He jaw tightens. “Willow…”

“I have not had sex with anyone since you,” I say. “Okay? Not unless you consider my vibrator sex…” I point to the nightstand next to my bed. “But I’ll tell you what… if a vibrator got me pregnant then I am totally calling their customer service number.”

“Vibrator,” Knox whispers.

Now he’s staring at my nightstand all horny and curious.

“Knox, I know this is a shock. I’m shocked too. I get what you must be thinking and feeling right now. I’m not mad at you for wanting to ask things. I get it.” I move closer to him. “Just listen to me. You and I… that night… that’s the last time I’ve had sex. I swear on it.”

I reach for Knox.

He touches my hand.

“I’m with someone,” he says. “I have a thing. I have someone.”

I feel like a knife has just cut my heart. “Oh…”

“It’s not something serious but it is something. You know? I just… I mean…”

“So you leaning toward me a minute ago? That was fine? But now that I’m pregnant… you’re suddenly in this committed relationship?”

“It’s not that simple,” Knox says.

He backs away from me.

Then he looks down at my stomach and makes an abrupt turn, then walks out of the bedroom.

“Whoa,” I whisper.

I feel worthless right now.

I swallow hard.

Back at my bed, I slide my hand under the pillow and find the pregnancy test.

When I step out of my bedroom I can’t find Knox.

I spot his gym bag on the floor.

Maybe he needs a minute to think it all over.

It’s a big piece of news.

He doesn’t need me jumping on his back.

Everyone is entitled to their own reaction.

Which is all true. I don’t want to push at Knox and have him explode.

I secretly put the pregnancy test in his gym bag.

I figure when he gets back to his dorm, he’ll open his gym bag and see it. That can be the smack of reality he needs. And he’ll be alone so he can process it however he wants. Then we can text or call or meet up and figure this all out.

Knox rips open the bathroom door.

I can tell he just splashed water on his face.

“I need to go,” he says. “I have-”

“I understand,” I say. “Just go.”

I hurry back to my bedroom.

He calls my name. Once.

But he doesn’t come after me.

I shut my bedroom door and stand against it.

I listen as Knox picks up his gym bag and leaves my dorm.

My heart is racing and hurting.

I place my right hand to my chest and take a deep breath.

I place my left hand to my stomach and my chin starts to quiver.

Little bit of truth right now?

While I respect what Knox needs to do and feel… I really am scared to be alone right now…